


How To Lose Someone In 10 Days

by Jaansche



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: #HtlSi10d, Arkadia, Clarke Griffin/Lexa - Freeform, Clexa, F/F, Flirting, Fun, Games, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Humor, Journalist - Artist Setting, Modern Setting, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Sexual Content, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:43:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 103,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5765227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaansche/pseuds/Jaansche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin is an artist and player who, to win against her best friend Raven, bets that she can make anyone fall in love with her in 10 days. Lexa Woods has been assigned to write an article on "How to Lose Someone in 10 days." </p><p>The story is loosely based on the movie "How to lose a guy in 10 days" but adapted for the Clexa universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> A 'The 100' (Clarke & Lexa, Anya, Raven) story
> 
> By Jaansche
> 
> Disclaimer: The 100 was created by Kass Morgan and adapted for TV by Jason Rothenberg. This story is AU, loosely based on the movie 'How to lose a guy in 10 days'. I don't own anything so please don't sue me. That's a lie - mistakes are mine!

 

Chapter -1-

 

It all started with a bet. Although it was a drunken bet, a bet was a bet. And she wouldn’t back down from anything. This was her time for fooling around. Her time for partying hard, and her phase of making stupid bets. She didn’t think of it as a time for mistakes. How could living ever be considered a mistake?

Clarke sat back down grinning after agreeing to the bet, proposed by her best friend and partner in crime Raven. As far as the blonde was concerned that wager would be a piece of cake. Was she overconfident? Maybe. However, Clarke was known to get what she wanted. She kept the glass of whiskey close to her mouth but didn’t drink from it, contemplating her actions when Raven spoke up again.

“So, how are you going to do it Griff? I’m not letting you off the hook this time. We need to agree on who and how long you’ll have for them falling in love with you.”

Yup, Clarke Griffin, young aspiring artist by day and party animal and heartbreaker by night, just accepted this challenge; to make anyone fall in love with her.

“Well, how about you choose the time and I decide on the person?”

“Naaah… you’re not playing me that easily tiger.” Raven lifted her glass off the table in the darkly lit corner of the bar. “I decide on the person and we can compromise on the time.”

Clarke squinted her eyes and pursed her lips considering Raven’s words. “I get no say in who at all?”

“Nope. Where would the fun be in that?” 

The blonde nodded, lifted her hand to clink her glass to Raven’s and drowned the amber liquid in one gulp. “I'm still in.”

 

***

 

It all started with a bet. Although it was only an office bet, a bet was a bet. And she wouldn’t back down from anything. This was her time to be brilliant. Her time for writing interesting pieces and creating articles of importance. She didn’t believe being young meant having nothing to contribute. How could age ever be considered a limitation?

Lexa stared out of the small window of the office she shared with her friend and co-author Anya. She thought about how to get this story to work. Was she overachieving? Maybe. However, Lexa was known for writing pertinent and daring stories. She tapped her pen lightly against her mouth and bit her lower lip, contemplating the possibilities when Anya spoke.

“So, how are you going to do that Woods? I don’t believe you have it in you to pull this one off. You've only got 10 days to find someone, get them interested in you and then lose that person after the 10 days have passed. We need to find you that someone.”

Yup, Lexa Woods, young aspiring journalist at day and introverted documentary lover at night, just accepted to write an article on how to lose someone in 10 days, challenged by her editor Nia Izard .

“I really don’t think it’s going to be that big of a deal Anya. Take me to one of your playgrounds and I’ll pick someone up.” 

“Lexa, why did you let yourself be pressured into writing bullshit like this. Nia knows you’re a sensitive soul who can’t hurt people. Damn, you’re still friends with Costia after she broke your heart and your bank account because you can’t let her go.”

“What's this got to do with my career? I need to write the article so Nia will shut up and give me more important subjects. I’m still the youngest chick in this coop. I need to gain respect from her.”

“She bullied you into this!”

Lexa squinted her eyes and pursed her lips considering Anya’s words. “Let’s go out!”

“Ok. But let me pick the poor soul who gets their heart broken! I'm not convinced you could break the ice.” 

The brunette nodded, lifted her hand to shake Anya’s to finalise their plan. “Let's do this.”

 

***

 

That was why Lexa found herself walking into a club at nearly midnight instead of lingering on her comfortable couch watching the newest documentary about squids. Anya convinced her to wear something out of her comfort zone to make that whole experience more of a play than reality. The journalist looked down on herself, appreciating the short white skirt and her long legs in black shoes. She wore a black slightly see through top over her favourite equally black lacy bra. All in all, Lexa felt comfortably sexy to find someone who would unknowingly assist in pushing her career. The remorseful tingle in her belly was actively ignored.

 

A low wolf whistle to her right let Clarke know Raven might just have spotted the person of interest for their little bet. She followed Raven’s eyes to the entrance of the club where two gorgeous girls just seemed to have entered the premises. Next to them Clarke could see some couples or groups of friends, so her eyes darted back to the women, wondering if Raven had lost her mind.

“You are not going to make me pursue a goddess!?" Big blue eyes turned back to look into amused brown ones.

“Anyone, you agreed! Remember?” Raven started laughing and pointed again to the women, who in the meantime had found a spot at the bar. Clarke felt her confidence slightly crumble at the sight of her possible opponent.

“Ok. Which one do you think? Tall blonde or gorgeous brunette?” She sighed. 

“The Brunette!” Raven exclaimed, strongly nodding along with her decision. “Definitely!” She then turned back to Clarke and raised her glass again. “Now that we know who, how long do you think you need?” She grinned mischievously and enjoyed seeing her friend shifting slightly uncomfortable in her seat. Clarke tried to ignore Raven for the benefit of studying the dark haired woman at the bar. She was probably a little taller than herself, although she wore high-heels. She was gorgeous Clarke had to admit.  At least she would have fun by trying to make that woman fall for her. Raven could have picked much worse. She looked like her type. She seemed to be sophisticated, although clothes can mislead. All the while, as Clarke mused over the woman, Raven watched the blonde closely.

“Griffin, your gay is showing. Why don’t you pick up your jaw off the ground and give me a number.”

“Huh?” Clarke turned back to Raven. Puzzlement soon changed to embarrassment. “Uh, I mean. Yeah.”

“Stop stalling!”  

“Ok ok. How about 3 weeks?”

“Is that a question or a statement?” Raven leaned back, watching the women at the bar. “I can understand if you feel you don’t stand a chance…” Clarke vehemently shook her head and interrupted the other girl. “It’s not that Rae. Gimme me 21 days to do it.” The blonde put on her winning smile and winked at Raven, who took that as a challenge in itself. “Know what… I'll give you half. You get 10 days. She must say she loves you after those 10 days.” 

“10 days? Are you crazy Rae?!" Clarke lifted her hands in defeat, huffed out expressively and let her head fall onto the table in front of her.

“You can’t do it? The big mouth is saying she can’t do it?” Raven patted the other girls back.

“Why do you hate me?” She mumbled into her arms.

“I don’t hate you. It’s a bet. One you will lose. It’s all. I love you Clarke. You’re my best friend. You know that.” The budding artist lifted her head slightly and smiled at her friend.

“Ok. 10 days and she must say she loves me?” 

“10 days and she must say she loves you.” Clarke sat up again and straightened her back.

“Deal.” And with that she chugged down her other drink, stood up, pulled up her tight black jeans, put on her most confident smile and walked off towards the bar.

 

***

 

“Look Lexa. Now we are here. Just pick one. There are so many. What about the brunette at the table in the back?” Lexa only shook her head. 

“She seems to be here with someone. See the blonde? I don’t want to dive head first into a disaster.”

“Speaking of… the blonde is approaching.”

“What?” Lexa had been looking towards the entrance of the bar, when she heard Anya speaking. She whipped her head around to indeed see the woman walking towards them. “She might want a drink?” Lexa mumbled between clenched teeth, unable to look away. The woman in question wore tight black jeans with holes above her knees and a blue denim button down shirt; sleeves pulled up above her elbows. The long necklace around her neck moved with every step while she sauntered over. She leaned against the counter next to Lexa’s stool and signaled the bartender, who gestured for her to wait 5 minutes for service. She pushed herself back from the bar to turn towards Lexa who has been sitting as still as possible. 

“Giant polar bear.” Clarke said in a deep voice close to Lexa’s ear, who in turn furrowed her brows and turned to look at the her. 

“What?” The eloquent writer replied, amused. 

Clarke leaned even closer than before, her breath brushing the brunettes ear. “It’s an icebreaker.”

Lexa shivered by the close proximity of the woman. When the meaning of the words hit home, she laughed out loud and Clarke swore in that moment she would give her last everything to hear that sound again.

“I’m Clarke and you look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book, so I thought I’d go for something unexpected.” Lexa tilted her head to the side to get a better look at the blonde. A small smile still played at the corner of her mouth when she replied. “Hi Clarke and thanks for not asking me if I hurt from my fall from heaven. I’m Lexa.” They looked at each other for another second before Lexa awkwardly cleared her throat and turned back to the bar and her drink.

“What are you having? Can I get you anything, Lexa?” The blonde tasted the name on her lips. It fell so easily from her mouth. 

“Thank you Clarke, but I’m ok.” The addressed then turned to her other side and gestured to Anya while introducing her to the other woman. While Clarke managed to order some drinks, Anya took her chance to wink at the writer, but was unable to speak as the blonde interjected. 

“So, I’m here with my friend Raven. Do you ladies want to join us for a while?” Clarke pointed back to the table she had come from earlier.

“Sure. Lead the way.” Anya jumped eagerly off the stool and pulled a hesitant Lexa with her. Clarke nodded and walked ahead of the duo.

“She seems easy and uncomplicated. Sure she wouldn’t mind being played a little.” Anya whispered to Lexa.

“Yeah. She is… nice.” Lexa pushed some strands of hair behind her ear and followed Clarke through the throng of people.

“Cool. Alright. Clarke it is. Let’s see how well you can play that game.” Anya gleefully patted Lexa on the back and smiled at Raven when they reached the table.

“Hi there.” Raven smiled wide and did little to hide her amusement.

“Rae this is Lexa and her friend Anya. This is my friend Raven.” Clarke plopped back onto the seat she'd vacated earlier, leaving the other two stools for their new aquaintances. 

“So this one convinced you to leave your prime seats at the bar to hang out with us?” 

“She made it sound more interesting." Anya grinned. 

After a short silence Anya and Raven started to talk to each other about the perks of their current seats compared to the bar stools. Clarke kept sneaking glances at Lexa who in turn smiled every time she caught her looking at her.

“So, you come here often? Ok. That was bad. Don’t answer that. It’s just, you’re so beautiful you made me forgot all my pick-up lines.” Lexa laughed out loud again and shook her head.

“You're good at that.” She leaned towards Clarke, head on one hand.

“And by ‘that’ you mean?” Clarke mirrored Lexa’s position.

“Paying a compliment.”

“Well if I see a gorgeous woman I have a duty to tell her that I’ve noticed her beauty.” Both women were oblivious to their surroundings as they kept looking at each other. Lexa‘s gaze wandered from Clarke’s eyes to her nose to her lips and back up to her eyes while Clarke unashamedly kept her eyes on Lexa’s lips. 

“So.” Lexa spoke up again making Clarke lift her gaze to the brunette’s eyes. “What are you doing for a living?” Clarke bit her bottom lip considering an answer as closely to the truth as possible. She might be a player but she had difficulties holding up lies. Green eyes glanced down to see the action.

“I’m an artist.” The statement received a surprised look on the other woman’s face and her eyes snapped back to sparkling blue ones.

“What is your art?”

“Everything really. I paint, draw or sketch. Mainly. I dabble in music a little. Nothing big though.”

“Paint? What do you like to paint?”

“That really depends on my mood. When I feel relaxed I paint landscapes. When I want a challenge I paint people.”

“Why is that a challenge?”

“I find it challenging to get the real essence of the human body. Muscles, joints, skin over bones. It’s daring really.”

“I understand. I have to admit I’m intrigued. Can I see some of your art Clarke.” The writer asked flirtatiously.  
“If you’re a nice girl I might take you to my studio.” Clarke flirted back.

“What is getting your bank account filled up each month?” Te artist asked after a short break. Lexa hesitated for a moment unsure of what to say. Being a writer is not revealing anything she assured herself.

“I’m a writer.”

“Oh, an artist of sorts as well.” The blonde smiled over her glass before drinking a sip and licking her lips noticing how Lexa’s eyes again fall onto her mouth for a brief second. Clarke smiled confidently. Peace of cake, she thought.

“More a creator of openings to escape reality.” Lexa smiled and leaned back a little to stretch her tired muscles after a long day at work. She noted how Clarke’s eyes wandered down to her breast before quickly ascending to her eyes, stopping a moment on her lips. Cakewalk, the writer presumed.

“That answer in itself screams artist with words.” Clarke laughed out raucously, the sounds sending shivers down Lexa’s spine. “Have I’ve been able to come across some of your ‘openings to escape’?” Clarke winked at the brunette. Blushing slightly the writer admired the blonde’s ability to listen closely although the music was loud and bassy.

“I don’t know your taste in literature Clarke. But maybe a small book store might have one of my earlier works.” The journalist has ventured into writing short stories while attending University.

“Really? I’d like to read your stuff.” The other woman amazed Clarke. She can’t be much older than the painter herself and has already published books. That was a little intimidating but Clarke had been able to sell a few of her paintings in the last year.

“If you’re a nice girl I might take you to my studio.” Lexa repeated Clarke’s words from earlier while looking deeply into the blonde’s eyes. Clarke raised one eyebrow and smiled seductively back.

While Clarke and Lexa were obliviously absorbed in their own little world, Raven and Anya changed their conversation to similar subjects such as jobs, hobbies, latest movies. It was obvious all four women enjoyed each other’s company. Conversations flowed easily, liquor evaporated just as effortlessly. Without realizing the club has started to empty. None of the four had heard the last call before closing.

“Wow… it’s that late. Hey Griffin we need to leave.” Raven piped up from somewhere beyond the bubble Lexa and Clarke had created.

“Huh? Leave? What?” Finally the blonde looked from Lexa to Raven, to see a mischievous grin give way to a generous smile. 

“We. Need. To. Go. Now.” Raven pronounced each word while gesturing between her and Clarke.

“We just came here!”

“And by just she means 4 hours ago. The club is closing C.” Raven started to pick up her bag and handed Clarke her own. Lexa and Anya got to their feed as well. Everyone turned to leave when Clarke held Lexa back. Last nail to the cheesy coffin Clarke smiled _._

“Well Lexa, I seem to be missing something. You wanna help me find it?” Clarke had turned the brunette and took her hand into her own.

“What are you looking for?” Lexa asked in confusion.

“I seem to be missing a phone number. How about yours?” Lexa grinned; Anya shook her head and Raven clapped Clarke on her back. The blonde kept holding eye contact, stroking her thumb over sensitive skin.

***

“I can’t believe she gave you her number after that line!” Raven exclaimed when the two climbed into the cab. Clarke looked back to the club seeing Lexa and Anya getting into another taxi.

“I can’t believe you were such a tacko blocko! That’s manipulation that is.” Clarke turned back and complained heavily.

“Not on me girl. The club was closing. Either you have game or not. Easy as that.”

***

And so the game began.

 


	2. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the game begin.  
> Brief introduction of background of characters but mainly plot related to immediate storyline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Folks,  
> your feedback to my story has blown me away!!! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and leaving kudos. That means so much to me! Really hope you keep enjoying the story.  
> This chapter might be a little long, but I hope you guys don't mind. Let me know though...

# Day 1

 

When Clarke woke up early the next morning she regretted going out with Raven during the week. She was tired and couldn’t afford that shit called sleep deprivation. Although, leaning back into her luscious pillows, Clarke allowed herself to think about the special someone she had met last night. After initially being paralyzed by Lexa’s beauty, Clarke had regained control and finally scored by getting the brunette’s number. The artist grinned to herself and unplugged her phone from the charger to check on her various social media accounts. After a couple of minutes though Clarke began contemplating whether it was too early to contact Lexa already. She had no time to waste, but she needed to act cool to woo this woman she knew next to nothing about. Clarke sighed and tapped on her messenger app.

Now, what do I write? She mused while typing out words. _I think that you have a little bit of witch in you. Cause you've bewitched me._ Clarke immediately deleted the words again. No, no. That’s lame. How about…  _You must be tired; you've been running through my mind all night._ Clarke erased those words as well.

“Less cheese more conviction Griffin”, she whispered to herself. After two more attempts, which she also discarded, she settled on a short but direct approach. Clarke hit send and headed to the shower. She had an important visitor at the gallery today. Not one of those ‘could change your whole life’ important visits, but nevertheless significant for her immediate future as an artist. One very loyal buyer of her boss Marcus Kane, the owner of the gallery she worked for as an exhibition manager, had promised to stop by. If she could manage to get her pictures in the best light possible, they might get sold.

Without further delay Clarke managed to get ready. She rigged her coffee-to-go-cup, pocketed her mobile and was through the door to tackle the 5 blocks to her workplace.

# ***

On the other side of Arkadia, Lexa was already up and busy on her treadmill when her phone chimed and lit up with a new message. She tumbled over her legs at the intrusion. “Damnit!” The brunette exclaimed angrily, snatching the device from her couch. She hated being interrupted during her morning routine.

_Unknown Number (8:26): Let’s be honest. I know you like me and I know I like you. What are we going to do about it?_ _C_

Within a second though, her anger was forgotten and a big grin had formed on her lips, when she’d read the new message.

“What has your panties in a twist this morning?” Anya dressed in a towel and sporting a turban to keep her wet hair at bay, said, as she stepped into their shared living area holding up a cup of coffee while blowing on it to cool it down.

“Nothing.” was the short answer from her flat mate.

“Doesn’t look like nothing. Did you get a message from Blondie?” Anya poked Lexa in the ribs to nab the phone out of her sweaty hands.

“Give it back. That’s none of your business!” Lexa howled, pushing to reach her phone, which Anya held high above the other girl’s head to read the message.

“Know what? Anything is my business if it concerns you, like it or not. Are you going to answer it?”

“Of course. I would have replied already if I hadn’t been forced to tackle you in order to get my phone back.” Lexa replied sarcastically.

“So you’re only eager to respond because of the bet?” Anya handed the cell back to its rightful owner and flopped down on the couch watching her friend.

“Yes and my chance at a career. Why else would I do it?” “Your smile betrays you.” Anya shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. Lexa blushed slightly at the notion but didn’t indulge her in a continuative conversation. The journalist juggled with her phone, thinking about her reply.

“Just ask her for a coffee to establish your interest. You have her intrigued already. After that we’re going to dig into our past, and by ‘our’ I mean yours, and unearth all the mistakes to drive a girl insane and far, far, away.” Anya nonchalantly pointed out before heading into her bedroom to get ready for the day.

“You’re not funny!” Lexa growled, throwing a pillow at the retreating form. She had no time to waste but she needed to play it cool to get where she needed this woman, she knew next to nothing about, to be. Lexa sighed and opened her messenger app.

# ***

Clarke was rushing through the doors of the gallery, when she felt her phone vibrate. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips when she slipped out of her coat and fished for her mobile.

_Lexa – bet beauty (8:54): You seem to know a lot. You should share the facts your knowledge is based upon over a cup of coffee!? Lexa_

Clarke laughed out loud while reading the response. Typical answer from a journalist she mused. Before she had time to reply, Mr. Kane came around the corner to check on her.

“There you are. Mr. Wallace will pop in around 10 o’clock. You should get going if you want your pictures up and well lit.” “Thanks Marcus for the opportunity. I’m right on it.” She stuffed her phone into her back pocket and disappeared into the depth of the gallery. The artist in her was nervous for displaying her work to a potential buyer; god knew she needed the money desperately. The competitor in her though worried she might miss a chance with the brunette. As stealthily as possible, Clarke fumbled with her phone, while she pretended to collect her pictures from the back room. “Keep it short and simple,” she muttered under her breath.

“CLARKE?” The booming voice of her boss echoed through the rooms.

“Shit!” She quickly typed out a reply and turned back towards the gallery. “In here. Just getting the ‘Four Seasons’ quartet”, she hollered back.

“Yeah alright. Just hurry up. I need you out front.”

Clarke mimicked silently the words and body language of her boss in a childish way, arms crossed and an annoyed scowl on her face. Seconds later she hurried out of the back room with four large canvases under her arms. No need to press her luck today.

# ***

Lexa exited the underground parking belonging to the magazine ‘Nib & Scroll‘; Arkadia’s News- and gossip magazine, and took the lift up to her office.

Anya had left to interview the manager of a pork roll company, which had been sued for firing an employee who farted too much. Usually these articles fell into Lexa’s repertoire as the newbie, but with her new assignment she was off to focus on said article. When she reached her office, she took off her coat and arranged her phone and keys neatly on the table when she realized she’s had a new message.

_Clarke – bar Blondie (9:02): I let you in on the condition I can add a muffin with the coffee. On me of course._

“Memo to self.” The journalist murmured. “Do not let your phone lay about from now on.” ‘Bar Blondie’ was Anya’s idea of humour. Lexa tapped the device to her lips thinking of what to reply when her office door opened revealing her boss Nia Izard.

“So, how far are you with the article?”

“I just got the job yesterday!” Lexa nervously replied. “You cannot already expect me to have something to say. I got 10 days remember?” “Geez, relax Woods. I merely stopped by to hear how it is coming along. Did you find someone willing to be heart-broken?”

“Well, I found someone, but obviously I consider that particular piece of information ‘need to know’.”

“You found someone? Who is it?”

“An artist.” Lexa stated shortly, leaning back in her chair she kept her cell tightly clutched in her hand.

“That’s…vague.” Nia propped herself up on the small filing cabinet, separating the two desks facing each other next to the window from the rest of the office. She looked expectantly at Lexa; eyebrows raised high enough to nearly vanish into her fringe.

“That’s all I know and all you’re getting.” Lexa let her gaze sweep quickly between her boss and her computer screen, signaling the end of the conversation from her side. She had to reply to Clarke, fix an appointment, get the blonde wanting to invest in a relationship and then think about how to drive her away.

“Well. I expect a report by day 5. Don’t disappoint me Lexa. This is a real chance for you.” With that Nia gracefully stood up and left the office leaving the door wide open.

“Born in a barn?” Lexa growled under her breath when she heaved herself out of her chair to close it.

“Ouch! Watch it idiot!” Anya was just about to enter the room when Lexa had kicked the door to close it, and in doing so had slammed it into Anya’s face.

“Shit, sorry Anya. I didn’t see you.” “Clearly!” The tall woman snarled.

“Wow you’re in a bad mood. The suing farter wasn’t a hit?” Anya greeted Lexa’s question with a raised eyebrow and a headshake.

“Never mind.” Lexa fell back into her chair and dropped her phone onto the table in front of her.

“What did Nia want?” Anya took off her coat, sat down as well, rubbing her sore forehead.

“To know how it’s going.”

“Speaking of. Is a date happening anytime soon? Tick-tock Lex, tick-tock.” Pointing to Anya, the brunette picked up her phone and opened her messenger. “Bar Blondie?” She asked amused, watching Anya’s scowl change into a grin.

“Well – I thought it was fitting. Stop deflecting though. Did she reply?”

“Yeah. She offered to buy me a muffin to go with the coffee I offered.”

“Smooth. Ok. So what are you still doing here? Coffee can be a morning to mid-morning affair.”

“I thought more of an after work thing.” Lexa mumbled.

“That’s probably smart. We don’t want to scare her off just yet.”

“We? Last time I checked it was me who had to do the dirty job. And hey! What do you mean scare her off just yet?”

“Yeah but it’s also you who will profit from it the most. Soooo…?” Anya elegantly ignored the rest of Lexa’s comment with a raised eyebrow and a look that said 'you know what I'm talking about'.

“Uh!" Lexa chuntered in frustration. " I thought of asking her to meet up at the small coffee place around the corner?”

# ***

“Hi. Just give me a minute.” Clarke whispered to Raven while dashing past her back to the older gentlemen. The lanky brunette had popped in to take the artist out for lunch. If left to herself the blonde rarely remembered to eat properly. Raven nodded her understanding and waited in the entrance area while Clarke finished wrapping a canvas.

“There you go Mr. Wallace. Thank you very much for buying this piece. It’s very dear to me. I hope it will be just as important to you.” Clarke lifted the parcel over the counter and took the money offered to her in return.

“It is a beautiful painting Miss Griffin. Please, let my driver know to come in for it, whilst I have a word with Mr. Kane.”

“Of course, Mr. Wallace, right away.” Clarke arranged the pick-up and was halfway out the door, when her mobile vibrated against the counter. She rushed back inside to retrieve her phone and left a post-it at the till for her boss saying she was out for lunch. On her way back out she quickly checked the latest message illuminating her locked screen.

“So? You sold another piece? Congrats. Does it mean I’m invited to lunch?” Raven interrupted her occupied friend who grinned when she looked up.

“If you fancy fast food.” Clarke laughed out loud. “I didn’t get that much. It was only a small painting. If I were commissioned to paint? Now, that would bring in the big money.”

“Oh never mind. So tell me. What’s going on with you and the brunette hottie?” Raven linked her arm through Clarke’s and maneuvered them down the street towards one of her favourite eateries.

“Need to confirm, but I guess I’m seeing her later.” “When? Where?” They reached the restaurant and sat down at the conveyer belt, that was transporting colourful plates with various kinds of Sushi.

“Ok. So she asked if I felt like meeting up at the coffee house at Lincoln Square after 5 today.”

“Sounds good, you could invite her. Maybe bring flowers? Chicks like that.”

“Since when do you know what girls like? Last time I checked you’ve been pretty hetero.” Clarke huffed out, watching the little plates travel by unsure of what to pick.

“Well I am a girl. Duh!” Raven decided on the blue plate with nigari sushi on it.

“So wait a second. Raven Reyes, kickass-smart, science-geeky engineer, likes to get flowers on a first date?” The blonde laughed heartily, finally decided on the maki sushi. Raven shoved against Clarke's shoulder and pouted.

“I’m not your typical girl is all. Don’t put me in a category. Don’t label me.”

“Right, right.” Clarke tried to mollify the brunette. “I will bring flowers, obvs, but not to a coffee date.” She clarified.

“Ok. Up to you. Who am I to tell the greatest Casanova of all time what to do?” Raven snatched the red plate from the belt before Clarke could grab it.

“Hey! You know that’s the only Sushi I eat.”

“Text back while you wait for the next one.” Raven replied with her mouth full, and shrugged.

# ***

The signature vibration of Lexa’s phone indicating a new message pulled both women out of their research mode.

_Clarke – bar Blondie (13:16): Sounds like a plan. I’ll be there at 5, gorgeous stranger._

Lexa grinned and blushed at Clarke’s words sparking immediate interest in Anya. “What?” The blonde said sliding her chair past the computer screen, with expectation. “What did she say?”

“She’ll be there.” Lexa cleared her throat.

"And?"

“She called me gorgeous.”

“That’s it? That makes you blush? Wow, you’re easily embarrassed.”

“Shut up.”

# ***

They finished their lunch talking about Clarke’s success and what she could do with the money from the sale of her painting. The trip to Machu Picchu had to wait for future sales, but the replacement of the microwave, which had suffered a quick death by metal exposure, was in budget. They went separate ways, Raven back to the lab and Clarke, having to work two more hours, to the gallery, but not before promising to keep the former in the loop of any occurrences.

On the other side of the city, Lexa typed out her final reply to Clarke before focusing back on the screen. She needed to research ways to annoy people while dating. Despite Anya’s indication to look in her own past, she knew she had never driven a former lover away by annoyance but rather by being MIA during the whole relationship. She desperately needed some inspiration.

“What about calling the cops on her one night?”

“Anya, I don’t want her imprisoned, I just need her to lose her appetite.”

“Appetite?” Anya looked up from the screen with a dirty grin on her face. “Is that a paraphrase or your status?” “ANYA! You know what I mean!” Lexa replied annoyed, blushing again.

“Well, honestly. If you could get some action before you lose her, we all profit from this job. You are thirsty as fuck, my friend.”

“God! Tell me again why we **are** friends?”

 “When was the last time you had sex? Don’t tell me it was with Costia? That was what…1 year ago?”

“14 months.” Lexa muttered under her breath.

"There! I rest my case."

# ***

_Lexa - bet beauty (14:56): Looking forward to change my stranger status, mysterious charmer._

Clarke read the last message again, for the 5th time in the last half an hour. Lexa seemed to be really interested in wanting to get to know her. Deep down, in the very dark space of Clarke's brain, where her conscience was vegetating, the artist felt a pang of guilt. However, as quickly as the feeling came, the blonde pushed it down. It was nothing but harmless flirting and Clarke wasn’t sure she would get the brunette to fall in love with her. 10 days are a freaking short time frame. But the bet was 'love you' and that's something even friends do. The artist was hopeful to get Lexa to admit that she loved her as a friend without saying 'as a friend'. That was what Clarke was aiming for. Anything more was, (even to the blonde), pie in the sky.

She checked the time on her phone and decided to drop by her apartment before meeting up with Lexa. She wasn't Cupid but she could influence how her opponent saw her - preferably clean and smelling good.

"Marcus?" The exhibition manager called out to her boss, walking through the gallery until she saw him in the middle of the room, clipboard in hand. "It's three. I'm leaving now. I have nothing booked for tomorrow. If I feel inspired I might paint, if that's ok for you?" Marcus was a friend of her mum and really in need of someone to take care of the various paintings and exhibitions. He wasn't strict on the hours of attendance. The gallery owner just needed her to be present when potential buyers wanted to have a look. Otherwise, he knew, Clarke wanted to focus on her art.

"As usual. Have the landline rerouted to your mobile if you're not in."

"Check. Have a nice afternoon boss." The blonde left the premises to head home.

# ***

"It's nearly 5 Lex. Maybe you want to freshen up?" Anya spoke up for the first time after she’d left Lexa to contemplate her non-existent sex life.

"Mm?" Lexa lifted her head to glance over the monitor to look at Anya.

"Your date with hot Blondie? It's almost 5 o'clock." She repeated her words.

"Oh... shoot." The writer jumped up from her chair and searched in her bag for the little pouch with makeup she carried around as an emergency kit. Triumphantly she held up the case and left the office to the adjoining restroom. After checking its emptiness she settled in front of a large mirror and carefully applied eyeliner and eye shadow. Lexa halted her movements when she caught her green eyes, filled with guilt, in the reflection. Should she really do this to Clarke? She had no idea how serious this whole flirtation could get. The writer lowered her hands holding the eye shadow and brush, debating with herself. Clarke seemed to be fun. She came across as a 'no strings attached' kinda girl. Surely, she wouldn’t be able to break the artist’s heart with her professional commitment. That was totally unrealistic. Anything beyond fun was wishful thinking, even to the brunette.

# ***

Clarke leaned against a wall on the opposite side of the coffee place Lexa had mentioned. She was early. She had quickly checked the shop to make sure Lexa wasn't sat already waiting for her. Clarke could never be the one waiting for someone. It made her nervous. That's why she stood, one leg against the concrete building, observing the place from the other side of the road. And if Lexa stood her up, she could more easily leave from her spot outside the coffee place and nurture her ego in the confinements of her own home, than being trapped inside. The blonde checked the time again shifting her position to get a better view down the street, when she saw Lexa approaching. The sun had almost dipped behind the large skyscrapers of Arkadia leaving an orange hue in the air. The writer covered her eyes against the low rays and made her way quickly to the shop. At the same time, Clarke pushed herself off the brick wall and casually crossed the street, meeting Lexa's eyes halfway across the road. A big smile appeared on the journalist's face who dipped her head slightly in acknowledgment. Clarke lifted her left hand and gave a small wave before stuffing it back into her coat pockets as she sauntered towards the brunette.

"Fancy meeting you here." Clarke said in her low voice, a smile on her lips.

"Funny how fate works." Lexa replied, taken slightly by surprise at Clarke's deep timbre. She had forgotten how sexy the blonde's voice was.

Both women looked at each other as if they hadn't met up in a long time rather than a few hours previous. Clarke admired the dark makeup around Lexa's eyes. The amber evening light illuminated the brunette's face and made her green eyes stand out. She could easily get lost in the depth of that warm colour, Clarke thought in surprise. The writer on the other hand silently marveled at the bright blue shade of inquisitive eyes roaming over her own. Suddenly, the artist realised she had been staring and abruptly lowered her head and gazed onto the sidewalk. Seconds later Clarke lifted and turned her head halfway up to smile suggestively at Lexa.

"Coffee?"

When they entered the store, Clarke held the door open for Lexa to walk through, then pointed to a table far away from the entrance and counter. After both women discarded their jackets, Clarke asked the brunette what she would like to have and walked back over to the counter to get their respective orders. The blonde turned back to see the slightly flustered woman shaking her head in a vain attempt to clear her mind. Yeah, I know how you feel, the artist thought. Lexa was stunning and it took all of her concentration for Clarke to not stare again. Well, at least she didn't have to fake attraction to win her over. The blonde reached the barista, gave her orders, paid and then stepped aside to wait for her drinks.

Lexa had sat down after Clarke had left to get her a coffee and the promised muffin. She couldn't get the intense stare of blue eyes out of her head. She even tried to shake it off but it was to no avail. The journalist was stuck with the image, and it caused a warm feeling in her belly to grow and spread through her body. Damnit, she thought. You can't play this game if you can’t control it. “Ok ok…Head over heart! You need this job,” the journalist tried to convince herself. Her little pep talk just finishing before Clarke came back into earshot.

“There you go beautiful. Hope you like it.” Lexa smiled at the term of endearment wondering briefly if that was how dating Clarke would be like; many compliments, lots of pampering, and long staring contests.

“Thank you. That’s very considerate of you.”

“A promise is a promise, right?” Clarke winked at the other woman and took a small sip of her coffee.

“I see you’re true to your word. Good quality.”

“I have many more… good qualities.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup. Just stick around and you might just get to see them all.” Clarke grinned mischievously over the rim of her cup, while Lexa smirked at the blonde. The writer than popped a small piece of her muffin into her mouth and licked her fingers slowly but pointedly. Clarke exhaled slowly and bit her lower lip while watching Lexa intently. The latter smiled knowingly and licked her lips, just for good measure.

“So. How was your day?” Clarke furrowed her brows at Lexa’s surprising question.

“Um. Ok. I think.” Lexa had left her at a complete loss for words. Wipe the drool from your mouth and turn your inner flirt on, Clarke mentally chastised herself. “Actually,” she sat up a little straighter and continued. “It was a really good day. I sold a painting.” Clarke smiled happily.

“Congratulations. That’s awesome.” Lexa smiled brightly and pushed the plate with the muffin on into the middle of the table. “Want some?”

“No thanks. I’m good.” Nodding to show she understood, Lexa pulled the plate back and finished the cake in a less flirty way, for which Clarke silently thanked her for.

“So. What about your day?” The blonde leaned forward in her seat, resting her head on her hand showing ample cleavage. Immediately, the writer’s gaze fell there and lingered on the display before quickly rising again to look into amused deep blue orbs. Lexa swallowed dryly, trying to clear her mind while pushing her lips into her mouth biting down gently before releasing the flesh with a silent exhale.

“Um. What about what?” She asked confused.

“Your day Lexa.” Clarke laughed with a playful glint in her eyes. The writer’ eyes widened, realizing she had been busted zoning out while staring at Clarke’s chest.

“Oh. Right.” Lexa blushed furiously and fixed a tight smile on her lips. Clarke reached over and placed her hand on top of the brunette’s, squeezing it affectionately. She loved how they flirted. Just minutes ago Clarke had squirmed in her seat after watching Lexa eat her muffin and now the writer was clearly flustered by the blonde’s bosom. It took a few more seconds and Lexa visibly relaxed under Clarke’s touch and returned to the conversation with a radiant smile.

“My day was ok.”

“Only ok?”

“Well, it still has potential to become a good day. Or even a great one.” And the journalist was back in the game. Clarke nodded in agreement, though she hadn’t planned anything else for them. She squeezed Lexa’s hand briefly and released it seconds later.

“Let’s see where this takes us, shall we?”

They talked a little more about Lexa’s day and Clarke learned that she worked together with Anya, and that she also shared an apartment with the other journalist.

“So you guys are like best friends?”

“We go way back. Have known each other since university. Anya emptied a bottle of orange juice over me and I broke her nose. Perfect start for a long lasting friendship.” Lexa laughed out loud.

“You what?” Clarke joined in on the laughter.

“Well, apparently I was in her way. All I remember, we were waiting in line to get lunch and all of a sudden that fury – well you haven’t really met her yet – turned around and spilled her whole bottle of juice over me. Obviously, I could not let that go, grabbed her at her collar and punched her in the face.”

“Ouch!” Clarke winced in sympathy.

“Yeah, well surprisingly the OJ was meant for my friend, who had unknowingly pushed her tray into Anya’s back.” “That it? Wow.” “Anya had to join an anger management class after that incident. Needless to say, we met on that course again.” Lexa finished her coffee and held the cup up with a questioning look.

“No way.” Clarke answered surprised, finishing her cup as well.

“Yes way. Small city I’d say.” Lexa collected both of their cups and stood up. “Same order? My turn.”

“Yes please. Thank you.” Clarke leaned back in her seat and watched the brunette walk over to the counter to refill their mugs. She enjoyed herself to the fullest. There wasn’t a single date in her past where she’d felt so at ease, but for the few moments where the flirting was really intense. Lexa really kept Clarke on her toes and the artist loved it. A few more moments passed before the taller woman returned to the table with fresh beverages.

“So, you and Raven?” “Raven and I met in a band.” Taken by surprise, Lexa looked up from her steaming cup she had been blowing on to cool it down. “A band as in a music band?” She asked for clarification.

“Yup”.

“How come?”

“I found a note on the black board of my student house asking for singers or musicians to come and audition. I sing and play the guitar. I had time and nothing really to do, so I stopped by their rehearsal room.”

“And? Did it work?”

It did. Clarke explained that the three of them had played at festivals and in small clubs for a short amount of time in the summer before their mutual final year.

“Octavia played the drums, Raven took over the piano and I focused on guitar and vocals. We did fairly well.”

“What kind of music did you play?”

For the next minutes Clarke described their music style, recapped some funny stories and how the experience formed the tight friendship between all three girls. She further revealed that after the summer when the semester had started, it was too difficult for them to handle the demanding university studies as well as their career as musicians. One had to go but the friendship had stayed.

“Actually, Octavia was supposed to meet us yesterday but she stood us up for work. She’s busy with her own fitness center. Demanding I tell you. Raven is the craziest of us. She once set her lab back to the ice age when she played with liquid nitrogen and dry ice.” Clarke remembered the room; gas had steamed off all the surfaces with Raven in the middle, grinning from ear to ear like a mad scientist.

“What about you? What is your role in this triplet?” Lexa didn’t mind hearing about Clarke’s friends, but she had to admit she was more interested to learn about the blonde.

“Umm. I’m the artist. I’m chaotic and sloppy. I fulfill Raven’s need to organize my life and Octavia’s sense of responsibility to keep me healthy.” Clarke laughed. “I don’t know. We just flow together.” Lexa smiled at the admission, but rather than responding with words she conveyed her admiration for the blonde by locking eyes with her. They kept their eyes fixed on each other for some long moments until Clarke’s gaze dropped to Lexa’s lips seeing a small smile forming on them. She slowly let her eyes wander over Lexa’s face to finally settle on her eyes again before returning the smile. The silence was heavy but not suffocating. They didn’t need to talk as both women were saying more with their gazes than words could convey. The concept of time was lost on both of them when Clarke slowly took Lexa’s hand back into hers and moved a soft thumb over sensitive skin.

“You know. You truly are beautiful, I’m lost for words.” Clarke managed to enunciate the few syllables without stumbling over her own tongue.

“You are quite stunning yourself, Clarke.” The way Lexa rolled the ‘r’ and clicked the ‘k’ made the blonde squirm again.

If it wasn’t for the waiter informing them they were closing, both women would have kept staring and smiling for another long moment.

“Wow. It’s late!” Lexa exclaimed surprised, after checking her phone to see a new message from Anya asking if she turned the coffee into a dinner.

“Sorry.” Clarke apologized checking her phone as well, seeing one message off Octavia saying to come by her place to explain why the hell she always let Raven get her into trouble, and another from Raven asking for forgiveness for her slip up of telling Octavia about their little bet.

“No no. I don’t mean it in a bad way. I’m just surprised I hadn’t realized what time it was. I really enjoyed it… with you… Clarke.” Again Lexa pronounced the name in that sensual way leaving room for speculation on how much exactly she enjoyed her time with the artist.

“Me too.” Clarke waited a heartbeat before she continued. “Um, how about I invite you to dinner? Tomorrow?” The blonde nervously bit her lower lip, sending Lexa’s mind into overdrive.

“Ok!” She blurted out. Head over heart god damnit, Lexa mentally scolded herself. “I mean, I’m sorry but tomorrow evening is our weekly newsroom meeting which I can’t miss. Unfortunately.” Clarke looked a little disappointed. Despite the hurry of getting Lexa into a place where she would proclaim her love, she really had enjoyed spending time with the journalist. Before sporting a pout she knew would make it really difficult for Lexa to resist, she had a better idea.

“I’m on call tomorrow, I thought of hiking up Grounder Hill to paint the view. Would you maybe… I mean if you can… want to join me?” Goodness Clarke, get your shit together. You’re not a teenager asking out your high school crush. You are two adults fixing an appointment to spend more time together. Ok, Grounder Hill also had lots of secluded areas where they could maybe… _Don’t think this way Clarke, that’s too early_ , she chided herself.

“I’d love to.” Lexa smiled brightly, and she meant every word. She very much loved to see Clarke again. _Damn you heart. Earth to head; get back in the game._

“Sweet! Ok, let’s meet up at the park entrance so we can decide which path to hike. Say 10 in the morning?”

“Sounds great. Thank you, Clarke.” And again the rolling and clicking in combination with the most beautiful smile Clarke had seen so far. They had left the store and were stood outside at the same spot they’d met a few of hours before. Fuck it, Clarke thought and placed a bashful kiss on a pink tinted cheek before pulling back quickly to look into Lexa’s eyes once more.

“I look forward to tomorrow.” Clarke’s voice broke slightly due to the intense stare of green orbs.

“Me too,” was all Lexa could get her tongue to formulate, too lost in passionate blue eyes.

They separated a moment later holding hands as long as possible while slowly stepping in opposite directions. A last smile and wave and both women turned to leave. Clarke quickly crossed the road and took out her mobile once safe on the other side. She glanced back to see Lexa looking at her too before turning round a corner.

 

_Clarke – bar Blondie (20:11): Thank you for a really lovely time, gorgeous._

_Lexa - bet beauty (20:12): I had a wonderful time too, belle._

_Clarke – ravishing artist (20:15): Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Sleep well. X_

_Lexa – stunning writer (20:21): Can’t wait either. Sleep tight. X_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading my little ficlet. I'm going to update every Tuesday if the world doesn't fall apart. So stay tuned and please review. I love to hear what you think. If you have prompts - leave them too. I'm curious of what you guys want to see happening. Hit me up on tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jaansche. Come by - Say hi!  
> See you next week. Cheers J


	3. Day 2 - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have split the second day into two chapters this time. Uploading the first part as a little treat to end the weekend. Second part will be online as usual on Tuesday. Thanks again for all the feedback. I hope you guys like it.

# Day 2 (Part 1)

 

Anya stepped tiredly out of her bedroom to find Lexa sitting at the breakfast counter sipping coffee. “What the hell are you doing?” She asked incredulously.

Lexa looked up from her mug and smiled equally tired. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

Anya gestured between her body and the bedroom with a look of pure annoyance on her face. “I'm not in bed anymore, am I?” She prepared a cup of coffee and sat down next to her friend. “So again. What the hell?”

“Well, not knowing how to proceed had made me take a walk and now too many sugary coffees are keeping me awake.”

“What? After your date with Blondie you went for a walk?” Anya’s jaw dropped in disbelief. Lexa winced but kept her eyes trained on the other woman. “First off, her name is Clarke. Secondly, I needed time to think. I'll see her in –“ the brunette looked at her watch. “6 hours.”

“What for?”

“Annoying her?” It was Lexa’s turn to show bewilderment.

“I tell you right here and now, you’re quite talented in annoying the crap out of me. Fucking hell Lex, it's 4 in the morning!” Anya huffed exhaustedly.

“I know.” The brunette sighed.

“What are you two going to do today?”

“She wanted to invite me to dinner tonight, but I pretended I had a staff meeting. I’ve read it's annoying to decline invitations sporadically. Kinda obvious. But then, she asked, if I wanted to join her in the morning to watch her painting, and I accidentally agreed.”

“Oh Lexa…”

“I know. What am I doing now?”

# ***

Clarke stomped furiously out of her bedroom, wondering if killing someone, out of annoyance was still classified as murder in her state. It was 7 o’clock in the morning and she’d already received three missed calls. The caller’s ID indicated they stemmed from the gallery, which were forwarded to her, as she’d programmed the diversion, when she’d come home last night.

“ **Three fucking times and fucking no one on the fucking phone**!” Clarke burst out, throwing the device onto the couch. She was beyond furious and debated for a brief moment to switch off her phone, but decided against it. She hated not being available for her friends. Besides, it was now quarter past seven and she was up anyway. Clarke went quickly through her morning routine and ended up in her kitchen with her favourite cup, full of steaming hot coffee. She sighed when her lips made contact with the black liquid. She closed her eyes and recalled the previous night.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Octavia had pulled Clarke into her apartment as soon as she had opened the door.

“Good evening to you too. What’s wrong?” She had replied irritated; hands signalling she had come in peace.

“What is wrong?” The fitness instructor replied in disbelief. “Am I the only one, who sees the questioning morality of your little bet with Raven? What about that other woman? How can you play with someone else’s feelings? I’m shocked!” Clarke had the decency to look a little guilty. However, the expression changed quickly into a show of arrogance. “Nothing but my ego will get hurt. “ She snapped back.

“Are you for fucking real right now? I mean, ok. Let’s sit down.” Octavia had stepped back to give room for Clarke to drop her jacket off. The women had then made their way into the living room and onto the couch.

“Listen -,” The blonde started again. “I don’t know why I accepted the challenge, alright? It sounded fun yesterday.”

“Fun? I really wish I had been able to join you two idiots at the club. Tell me Clarke, what is your plan if this woman actually falls in love with you?”

“Well, I’ll cross this bridge when I get to it.”

“This is so irresponsible. Do not expect me to help you out, if the shit hits the fan big time. You’ll be stuck with Raven.”

“Did she get the same lecture from you earlier?” Clarke had said, smiling for the first time, since she had arrived at her friend’s place.

“Yup.” Octavia had popped the ‘p’ at the end of the word. “Really surprised that the one with the most degrees, is also the most stupid.” She had laughed, but had sobered up immediately. “Just promise me to be careful with this girl’s feelings, ok?” Clarke had nodded her affirmation, but hadn’t been able to bring herself to actually say the words ‘I promise’.

“So tell me about her then.” Octavia had gotten up to get them each a bottle of beer.

“Mm. What do you want to know?”

“Well, Raven was a little unspecific. Her name is Lexa? She’s a journalist?”

“Yes, a writer. I didn’t ask where she worked.”

“What did you talk about, if you didn’t cover the usual ABC questions of a first date?” Octavia had asked quizzically, handing her one of the bottles.

“She told me about her friend with whom she works and lives and I had told her in return how Raven, you and I had met. Told her about the time at the bar downtown, where we were kicked out cos you had crashed a bottle on that dude’s head, who wouldn’t stop bothering Raven. Remember?”

“Oh god! You did not tell her **that** story?” Octavia had hidden her face behind her hands. “Of all the things we’ve been through, you chose to share that one?” She had sighed exasperatedly. “Anyway, and then?”

“Then what?” Clarke had been playing with her beer, but had taken a long gulp in response to Octavia’s interrogation. The other woman had sat waiting for her friend to speak up again. “What else did you talk about?” A raised eyebrow and an amused half smile had accompanied the question.

“Mm, we talked about this and that. You know -.” Clarke had gestured vaguely with her left hand.

“Nooooo!” The brunette had suddenly exclaimed with a triumphant smile on her face.

“What?”

“You like her!” At that notion, Clarke had blushed deeply and avoided eye contact.

“Well, that makes me feel better.” Octavia had clapped the blonde on her shoulder in approval. “Good for you.”

“I didn’t say anything O!” Clarke had growled in response.

“You didn’t have to.” Satisfied, the brunette had leaned back in her seat on the couch.

“So, how was your day?”

Octavia had grinned knowingly at her attempt to change the subject. Clarke had left a little later as her friend had been truly tired and had to be up early again.

Clarke’s lack of correction of Octavia’s guess was still on her mind. She couldn’t really deny her attraction. She already knew at the bar, that she really liked Lexa. That was the whole point, why Raven had picked her out. The woman was right up Clarke’s alley, but after a couple of unhappy relationships and hook-ups she wasn’t up for an unrequited love disaster. She had to step back if she became too involved.

She was pulled out of her reflection of last night events with another phone call.

“Hello? **Helloooo? God damnit! Listen asshole. Stop calling if you’re not talking!** ” Clarke disconnected the call and stopped herself from throwing her mobile against the nearest wall. “Fuckers!”

# ***

Lexa put the phone down. Prank calls sounded funnier at four o’clock in the morning. They had started to look up the gallery ‘ArkArt’ Clarke had mentioned during their first date to do a little background check on the artist. They had found a telephone number and Anya had nudged Lexa to call to confirm it by the answering machine message, as the website looked dated. To Lexa’s surprise, Clarke had already activated the redirection of all calls, and had picked up the phone at 5:20 in the morning. The writer had been so shocked she had hung up immediately, which had sparked the idea to prank call a few times. Anya had convinced her, she should make sure Clarke was already annoyed before meeting up with her. That way she would already be pissed, before Lexa even started.

“She annoyed yet?”

“Significantly!”

Lexa hated doing this to Clarke, but she had agreed it was necessary to achieve her goal.

“Good! Ok, short stack, I’m going to hit the hay for a few more hours. You should do too.” Anya got up from the couch and left her friend alone.

Lexa reflected on last night. She really had enjoyed her time with Clarke. She was interesting, her ideas and ideology new and refreshing to her. She really felt a connection to the blonde and it was worrying. The last time she’d felt remotely this way, was when she had met Costia, but she couldn’t let her loneliness spike that kind of hope. Love was weakness, and the journalist was convinced she was un-dateable material. She decided, she needed to step back a little in order to keep her mind and heart aligned on writing this stupid article. She actually felt a little relieved to have to annoy Clarke today. She could be annoying. She had to be annoying. Lexa pulled up her laptop for further research on the matter. She found an impressively long list of things men do, which irritate women. The common incompetence of men to comprehend the smallest needs of women, left Lexa flabbergasted all the time. She scrolled through the article for inspiration. Leave it to the heterosexuals to inspire a gay woman on ways to annoy another woman, Lexa laughed silently. She started to take notes nonetheless. Most of the things on the list were so self-explanatory; Lexa doubted their accuracy. Like playing with their phone, when the woman next to them was naked. “Who would be that stupid?” Lexa muttered in astonishment. She spent a good portion of the next hour reading and making notes for future reference.

# ***

_GriffArt (5:50): Ray, can you track down a redirected number?_

_GriffArt (6:30): Are you still sleeping??? I NEED YOUR HELP!_

_GriffArt (7:30): Never mind! It stopped, I think._

_Dr. Dr. Prof. (7:50): WTF. Griffin why the hell, are you up this early?_

_GriffArt (7:51): Finally. Did you only just wake up? As to ‘why’ read my earlier messages._

_Dr. Dr. Prof. (7:55): Someone got up on the wrong side of bed… what’s this shit about a redirected number??_

Instead of replying Clarke dialled her friend’s number and discussed the matter personally. Unfortunately, Raven couldn’t help her. She would always see the number of the gallery if the call had been made to the store and been redirected to her mobile. The diversion prohibited the activation of the answering machine. To know that, if she hadn’t already rearranged the calls, she would have had a longer night, only fuelled her anger further.

“Thanks Ray. I’ll let you go. Sorry for waking you.”

“Easy Griff. Sorry I can’t help.”

“Never mind.”

“Are you planning on seeing the hottie again?”

“Her name’s Lexa. And yes.”  
“Ok, ok. Lexa then. When?”

“Soon. At 10 actually.”  
“10 in the morning? What can you possibly do at 10 in the morning?” Raven answered surprised.

“I had planned to hike up Grounder Hill and paint. She can’t do dinner, so I asked her if she wanted to join me.”

“Seducing her with your mad art skills? Brilliant!”

“Ha ha. Not thought of seducing her yet, but yeah, she said she would love to see some of my work.”

“Speaking of, how was the date yesterday? Couldn’t ask earlier, as you were with O and she blackmailed me into not contacting you, so she could set you straight.”

Clarke burst out laughing. “Well, thank god she didn’t set me **straight**. But yeah. I had a great time with Lexa. She’s really awesome.”

“She’s awesome huh?”

“Not you too! Yes, Lexa is awesome. End of story.”

“If you say so... Guess Octavia had her fair share of messing with you already?”

“You two are a pain in the ass. I don’t know why I’m friends with either of you.” Clarke huffed.

“Easy. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“Fuck off Raven.”  
“Hey, I mean it.” The brunette laughed. “Enjoy in the widest sense possible of course.”  
“Yeah, I’ll hang up now.” Clarke had enough of her meddling friends.

“Alright. Message me later. I want updates.”

“K. Bye then.”  
“See ya.”

The artist checked the time and realised she had to focus to get her equipment set up and ready. Before she tackled this however, she opened her messenger app.

# ***

Lexa awoke to the sound of a new message. Disorientated and tired, she searched for her phone with her eyes closed. When she opened one eye, she saw it was Clarke, who had messaged her. Instantly the writer sat up from the couch, she had fallen asleep on.

_Clarke – ravishing artist (8:40): Good morning gorgeous. So, am I the only one, or did you also dream about me last night? ;-)_

Lexa grinned at Clarke’s cheeky but cute message. She didn’t seem to be annoyed anymore. She briefly wondered if that was good or bad for her future plan. She sent a message back and got up to get another coffee into her system. Once this was over, she probably had to deal with a serious caffeine addiction, Lexa mused while waiting for the dark stimulant to be ready.

She retreated back into her bedroom to choose what to wear for the hike. Sporty but fashionable, she thought. She didn’t have anything that would fit the combination. The active brunette had tons of workout clothes but none of them could be deemed appropriate to ever be worn on a date. Lexa briefly considered, wearing something as inappropriate as a pencil skirt or formal pants, however, she’d rather be seen naked, than implying she was stupid by her choice of attire. She settled on combat pants and a loose fitting hoodie and finished her look with black comfy boots and her favourite leather jacket. That should do, she thought to herself when looking at her reflection.

Moments later, after applying her makeup and arranging her hair, she left her room to sort through her bag and fill it with the needed utensils.

 

“Ok. OK! You have been loud enough. I’m up now. Go get me a coffee.” Anya emerged from the darkness that was her bedroom and let her body fall onto the couch.

“Ffffff… damnit An!” Startled, Lexa halted her movement abruptly. “What?”

“Coffee! Now!”

“Get it yourself. I’m not your butler. And besides, I know, I didn’t wake you.”

“Do you now?”

“I heard the music of your mobile game.”

Anya rolled off the couch in defeat and went to get her own coffee. “Are you ready for the day?”

“Yes. And by the way, thanks for being there for me this morning.”

The blonde stilted fidgeting hands and hugged her friend. “You’re welcome. Now, stop worrying. You have to do it. Think of it as” – she made quotation marks with her hands in the air – “’required for research’ or such.”

Lexa nodded and lifted her bag onto her back. “Fingers crossed it won’t get too ugly.”

“You’re both beautiful – can’t see anything ugly, even if I wanted to.” Anya winked at her and pushed Lexa towards the door. “Message me, if you need me. I’m going to be working from home. Just in case.” Relieved, Lexa hugged her and left for the direction of the car park.

 


	4. Day 2 - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part of their hiking trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as promised - Part 2 of their hiking date. Thanks to my partner in crime, sounding board and proofreader - you know who you are! Love you heaps. And everyone else, please continue. :-)

# Day 2 (Part 2)

_Lexa – stunning writer (8:45): Good morning Clarke. Unless you really did dream of **yourself** you’re not the only one. ;-)_

Clarke reread the message she had sent to the brunette and laughed at how Lexa had interpreted her text. She certainly seemed to be a very literal person, but this didn’t matter as she had confirmed she had been dreaming of Clarke. The blonde felt fuzzy warmth glow in her belly, which she quickly discarded as excitement for the day, rather than being directly linked to the brunette.

She finished her preparations in time before shouldering her equipment and leaving for the train. She arrived on time at the entrance gate of Grounder Hill, the most popular park in Arkadia. The park surrounded the hill, which gave the grounds its name and was a little over 500 acres. The hill was 1000 feet high and it overlooked the whole city to the east and wilderness to the other three cardinal directions. Clarke loved it here. The rustling of the trees and the various different birdsong echoed from the depth of the forest, quickly swallowing the noises from the city. She felt closer to the earth, when she spent a few hours at the park. This connection helped the artist to capture landscapes in her very unique way.

This morning the sky was clear and the air was crisp, a perfect day for hiking and painting, Clarke was thinking, while she waited for Lexa to show up. The artist was about to check her mobile again (she’d been waiting 15 minutes) when a black car parked up. The brunette exited seconds later with the same big smile on her face she’d given Clarke the previous day.

“Hi. Sorry I’m late.” Lexa breathed out.

“Hi. No worries.” The blonde calmly replied.

Lexa furrowed her brow for a split second, before schooling her features back into a smile. She had intentionally circled the park three times to be late, but it hadn’t seemed to annoy the blonde. Clarke radiated ease and lightness. She was the epitome of relaxation. So much about the helpfulness of the fake phone calls. This woman wasn’t easily ruffled.

Quite the opposite Lexa observed, as Clarke unashamedly checked her out, with a serene smile on her lips.

“Oh good.” She nodded and took in the blonde’s attire. She wore tight black pants, white sneakers and a thin grey hoodie, which was covered by an equally grey waterproof jacket. Her hair was half concealed by a black beanie and she had a backpack slung over her right shoulder. Lexa silently appreciated how well the clothes hugged Clarke’s body. This was going to be tough, she sighed.

“You ok?” Clarke had picked up on the sigh and was intensely studying Lexa’s face for signs of discomfort.

“Yes… I guess. I’m just not much of a hiker.” The journalist jumped at the given chance and used a rehearsed line with a whiny voice.

“Oh? Um.” Clarke was at a loss for words. She was under the impression Lexa knew what she had invited her to. “If you don’t want to go up the hill, we can just walk a little in the park?” She replied reassuringly.

“Really?” Lexa pretended to contemplate the offer, but quickly shook her head. “No, no. It’s fine. It’s your time to choose what we’re doing.” She ended the conversation by gesturing to the incline. “Shall we?”

The two women walked in silence for a little while. The path was wide enough for them to walk next to each other, but empty enough to not feel cramped by each other’s presence.

“So –“, Clarke interrupted the calm. “You slept well then?” She asked flirtatiously with a half smile. Surprised by the question, Lexa forgot her role and answered with a blush, “I did. Dreamed of a beautiful girl”.

Clarke’s half smile morphed into a full-blown grin at the brunette’s words. “Me too… You.” She admitted, and bashfully lowered her head. The writer’s heart skipped a beat. They kept walking together until the path became too narrow and Lexa gestured to Clarke to lead the way. “You know where you want to go.”

However, with the increasing altitude Lexa was presented with the blonde’s well-trained backside – thanks to Octavia’s strenuous workouts - right on eye level. A subdued groan escaped her throat. When Clarke turned around with a questioning look, she pretended to be out of breath.

“Can we… maybe… take a break?”

“We just started though.” Clarke replied confused. It dawned on her that Lexa might not be as fit as she looked. She didn’t think the path was particularly exertive, but she wouldn’t know as she worked out twice a week. When Lexa didn’t show the slightest inclination to move on, Clarke sighed and dropped her backpack on the ground.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to just walk in the park?” The blonde asked again.

“I am. I just need a minute to catch my breath.” Lexa assured her.

“No problem. Do you have the day off?” When Clarke had invited the journalist to join her, she had completely ignored the fact that the other woman might have to work. However, by accepting the invitation, Clarke had assumed the brunette was off or on call as well.

“As a journalist I have to pretty much self organise my days. Taking the morning off, just results in having to compensate later in the day or week.” Lexa explained calmly.

“Oh god. I didn’t realise when I’d asked you.”

“That’s alright. I’ll just work from home tonight.”

“I thought you had a staff meeting in the evening?” Lexa stopped picking at her sleeve and quickly looked at Clarke, who in turn sported a pensive expression.

“I am. I meant after the meeting. I could then technically stay in the office and work late, I guess.” The usually eloquent writer stumbled over her words, blushing for being caught in a lie. That was the reason she normally avoided dishonesty like the plaque.

“Ah. Well I guess it’s nicer to work from home.” Clarke ignored Lexa’s confusing reaction in favour of keeping the communication going.

“It is. Own space, own food and comfy clothing.” Lexa replied, relieved in not being exposed.

“Yeah, I got some space in the gallery for painting, but I prefer working in my studio. I’m alone and can do whatever I please.”

“Working from home just makes me lay on the couch, with my laptop to write.” Lexa laughed out loud.

“Fair enough.” Clarke laughed along. After they had calmed down, she asked, “Shall we get going?” Lexa rose from the rock she had been sat on and nodded at the blonde’s proposal. After another 10 minutes however, she again faked being out of breath. Clarke reduced her speed, but didn’t stop. Lexa felt the events of the morning and her own antics since they had met, were slowly but surely getting to Clarke. She felt sorry for the blonde but admired the patience she had obviously perfected. Lexa suspected her job wouldn’t as easy with this counterpart, but she just had to keep trying to annoy her. With that thought in mind, the brunette mocked a stumble and fell to the ground.

“Oh my god. Are you ok?” Clarke immediately crouched down and inspected Lexa’s legs for scrapes or other wounds, she might have sustained in the fall. To Lexa’s astonishment, she even checked both ankles with the utmost attention.

“Ow! That really hurt!” She pretended to be shaken and exaggerated the whole incident, expecting Clarke to huff or roll her eyes, but she just looked at her concerned. Unbeknown to the brunette, Clarke did roll her eyes internally at the overreaction, after making sure she was ok. A bigger part of her found the clumsiness really cute. “You think you can get up?” She offered her hand for support.

“I’ll try.” Lexa groaned in faked pain, which still didn’t coax a reaction from the other woman.

With all her inanities, the writer had already wasted away an hour. If Clarke was getting impatient Lexa wasn’t able to tell.

She slowly got up and put pressure on both her feet, feigning injury.

“It’s not far, but if you want to turn around –“

“No!” Lexa interrupted Clarke. She really wanted to finish the hike, curious of the view, she would find from the top. She’d always wanted to go jogging in the park, but had never managed to do so.

“Ok. So can you walk?”

“Yes I think so.”

Another quarter of an hour and Lexa could see the top of Grounder Hill marked with a metal construction for a higher vantage point. Clarke slumped onto a bench, leaving space for Lexa to sit down next to her. She hesitated for a second before sitting down next to her. Clarke settled against the bench with her legs, bent against her chest, and reached for her sketchpad and charcoal. She used her thighs as an easel. Lexa watched curiously and smiled when Clarke turned to look at her.

“What are you going to paint?”

“What about, a beautiful woman in nature?” Clarke smiled genuinely.

“Um… I don’t know. I’m not good at that.”

“And by ‘that’ you mean…?” Clarke trailed off, expecting an answer.

“To pose as an artist’s model.”

“How often have you done it?”

“Never.”  
“How do you know, you’re no good, if you haven’t tried?”

Damn you Clarke, Lexa thought, not having missed the implications in the blonde’s reply. The woman in her wanted Clarke to draw her, to learn, how the artist perceived her, but the assignment couldn’t let that happen. Or could it? Neither Anya nor Lexa had thought about the possibility of Clarke wanting the brunette to pose for her. While Lexa debated what to do, Clarke watched her intently not missing the moment the decision was made.

“Ok, let’s do it.” She replied nervously.

Clarke smiled, “Just relax. Why don’t you let your eyes wander?”

“Ok.” The brunette reclined against the back of the bench and focused on a bird, high above them. A few moments later, she heard the distinctive sounds of charcoal scraping over paper. The air was warm enough for her not to shiver when the wind blew past her, playing with her hair. The view was gorgeous. She had to come back here. The saturated green of the grass and leaves contrasted with the bright blue of the sky, which in turn was dotted with fluffy clouds. She could hear birds singing in the distance and the constant scratching next to her. She briefly debated interrupting the serene setting, she’d found herself in, but instead she closed her eyes. Last night’s lack of sleep was catching up on her and she started to doze off.

 

Clarke felt the woman next to her shift slightly, but when she looked up, she saw that Lexa had closed her eyes and must have fallen asleep, judging by her breathing. She stopped drawing to let her eyes wander over Lexa’s exquisite features. Wavy brown hair was blowing in the light breeze and her full lips were slightly parted. Her breathing was calm and deep. She could see the vein in Lexa’s neck pulsating and she had to avert her gaze. Clarke had always thought her friends were really beautiful. Octavia’s strong jaw line and long hair; Raven’s expressive eyes and perfect facial symmetry. But Lexa – she was exceptionally stunning and freakily she combined the outstanding features of her two friends perfectly.

However, it was the writer’s large almond-shaped eyes that were a brilliantly bright green, and guarded by long eyelashes, that were the most exceptional to Clarke. Without words the journalist could express a huge variety of emotions with just her eyes. They were inquisitive and intense, but Clarke had also been exposed to sultry and captivating gazes, which had rendered her speechless.

Two full but perfectly arched eyebrows framed the distinct curves of her eyes. From the artist in her, Lexa had a perfect face. She was the epitome of beauty. The longer she admired the sleeping form, the more she felt drawn to her. She could easily fall for Lexa the blonde surprised herself by thinking.

A caw of a bird close by startled Clarke out of her reverie and stirred the brunette from her slumber.

“Oh no. I must have fallen asleep. I’m so sorry.” Lexa apologised, but Clarke waved it off, hiding a blush behind her blonde hair.

“Did you finish your painting?” Curious eyes fixed on the painter’s face, willing her to look up.

“Not yet, but I can do it another time.” The blonde finally lifted her head and felt a shiver running through her body by the intensity of Lexa’s eyes on her.

“Can I see it?”

“When I’m finished maybe.” Clarke replied evasively and put her utensils back into her bag. “Anyway, I really should head back and check on the gallery. Had some mysterious phone calls early in the morning.” Lexa had the decency to look guilty by biting down on her lip.

“Quite annoying really. It’s good we’ve spent the morning in nature. That always calms me.” Clarke obliviously continued, while Lexa mentally face palmed herself. She needed to find out more about the artist’s ‘mood compensation methods’.

When Lexa didn’t react after Clarke had stopped talking, she asked hesitantly, “Do you want to stay?”

“Why would I stay without you?” Lexa answered baffled, before biting her tongue.

Clarke grinned. “Oh I don’t know? To enjoy some alone time? It’s really a gorgeous day to be out here.” The brunette could hear the teasing in Clarke’s words and lowered her head, before lifting her eyes again, a smile forming on her face.

“While that is true, I think I’m going to leave with you.” Lexa grabbed her bag, before joining Clarke down the path they had come from earlier. A comfortable silence fell over the two of them for some minutes, before Clarke spoke again.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Better than sitting in an office.”

Clarke’s face fell a little by the blunt words. Lexa felt hurt by the look, but did nothing to correct her statement. She had to be a pain in the ass.

However, Clarke quickly regained control of herself. “Ok… well if that wasn’t a hit, I shall renew my invitation for dinner!” She looked expectantly at Lexa, who couldn’t believe the perseverance on display.

“Oh.” She tried to think of an excuse, but couldn’t find it in her, to decline a second time. “I’d love to.” She smiled as they resumed walking down the trail, which widened at the end and led to the barbeque area, now filled with families enjoying their day.

They exited the park and Clarke walked the brunette to her car. “Well, I had a lovely time,” she said despite knowing, Lexa didn’t feel the same. When the taller woman didn’t reply, Clarke continued. “Anyway, about dinner. Do you maybe have time tomorrow night?”

“Yes, that sounds manageable.”

“Manageable?” Clarke asked bewildered. Was she for real? The artist took off her beanie and ruffled her hair, thinking about her next move. She clearly didn’t have the same effect on Lexa, as she had on her, Clarke realised. Unbeknownst to the blonde however, Lexa watched with bated breath, every movement, and groaned internally due to the feelings that were building inside her. Why, oh why, did she have to have met the most interesting, most intriguing and most beautiful woman, just to get rid of her?

“If you want to do something else-“, Clarke finally found her voice again, but was quickly interrupted.

“I’d love to have dinner with you tomorrow evening, Clarke.” Lexa articulated the blonde’s name in the same tantalizing way she had the night before. Blue eyes snapped in recognition to green, and Clarke desperately tried to decipher the other woman. She wasn’t used to questioning herself. She usually knew very quickly if it was worth her time. If asked yesterday, she would have been sure of Lexa’s interest, but today was another thing altogether. If at all, the writer seemed bored, unamused and maybe even annoyed at times, except for those very few moments, where Clarke thought she saw glimpses of the woman from the previous night.

Ok, maybe hiking really wasn’t a great idea, she thought. Maybe, she should have stuck to the old-fashioned ways of courtship? “Right. Dinner it is then. Can I pick you up?”

“Do you have a car?” Lexa looked around to see if any of the other cars could be Clarke’s.

“No, but I can get one.” Clarke smiled hopefully.

“What about **I** pick **you** up?” Lexa asked amused, for the first time that day.

“That would look awfully weird. Me inviting you to dinner and you picking me up?” Clarke played with the gravel under her left shoe, while twisting the cap in her hands.

“Do you care?” Lexa took a step closer and took a nervous hand into hers. “Because I don’t.”

“Um. Ok then?”

“Ok then.”

Clarke’s gaze was fixed on Lexa’s hand, holding her own, while Lexa studied Clarke’s face, seeing discomfort give way to hope. She let go of the hand and stepped back to lean against her car.

“So I’ll text you the address of the gallery?” Clarke still felt her skin tingling from where Lexa had brushed over it with her thumb.

“I know where it is.” Lexa blurted out unfiltered, before catching up with the implication of her words. Clarke’s eyebrows rose high, before she quickly sported a half grin.

“Have you looked me up?” She raised an eyebrow, amusement lighting up her face.

A flush crept up Lexa’s cheeks, immediately after her slipup and she avoided eye contact, trying to think of something. ‘Creepy stalker’ wasn’t really what she wanted Clarke to name her from now on.

“I might have.” She answered honestly, her forehead creasing in uncertainty.

“You might have?” Clarke replied flirtatiously, finally feeling Lexa was back on the same page. The writer looked up at her.

“If you didn’t want me to, why did you tell me the name of the gallery last night?” Lexa found her voice again, sounding more confident than she felt.

“Could be, I wanted you to.” Clarke bravely stepped closer when Lexa didn’t reply, but kept staring into the artist’s eyes. She positioned both of her hands against the roof of the car, successfully capturing the brunette between her arms. Maybe the day wasn’t wasted, she thought, shifting her gaze from Lexa’s mouth to her eyes and back again.

Lexa stood still, mesmerized by the proximity of the other woman, holding her breath. Before Clarke could close the distance completely, a hand pushed her lightly back. Lexa closed her eyes, not wanting to witness the disappointment in Clarke’s, she was sure was visible. She felt her own frustration radiating through her veins. In other circumstances, she would already know if the tender looking lips, felt as soft against her mouth, as she imagined. When she felt no movement from the blonde, she slowly opened her eyes. Clarke was still close hers fixed on the writer’s.

“I really wanted to kiss you.” Clarke admitted emotionally, stepping back from the car and slipping her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “But I respect, you don’t want me to.”

I really wanted you to kiss me too; Lexa thought but said, “I don’t kiss in such a short time.” She wanted to apologise; profoundly say sorry for everything, but Lexa knew that would only be counterproductive to her assignment.

Clarke only shrugged and smiled as if she wasn’t upset. She could not show her real emotions. In order to get Lexa, she knew she needed to act unaffected. She worried Lexa would stop seeing her, if she showed how hurt she was. Clarke didn’t consciously register that ‘getting Lexa to fall for her’ had changed to ‘getting Lexa’.

“Ok. I understand.” Clarke retreated further, giving the journalist more space. “But I will try again.” She tried to lighten the mood. “If you want me to, that is.” The blonde did not really expect an answer to her last statement, but Lexa surrendered to her desire and whispered, “I hope so.” Clarke’s face lit up slightly.

Despite Lexa wanting her to come closer again and give her a goodbye kiss as last night, she knew, Clarke wouldn’t, after being rejected earlier. In that moment, Lexa wished badly to turn back time and never accept the stupid bet in the first place. But would she have gone out with Anya two days ago, if not for finding the right partner for her article? Probably not, Lexa admitted, and so she found herself climbing into her car and leaving Clarke at the foot of the hill.

# ***

When Clarke arrived at the gallery, she inspected the telephone for signs of tampering, anything to explain the calls. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, so she dropped it back onto the counter and glared at it for good measure. She felt drained and exhausted. What should have been an enjoyable experience had left her with a sour aftertaste. She wondered, for the millionth time since watching Lexa leave, if she had done anything wrong. If she had missed any cues from the writer, that she didn’t want to continue getting to know her. Their meeting at the coffee house had left her with such hopeful thoughts, but the date this morning had crashed all of them into nothingness. Well, not all of them, she thought, thinking back to the few moments of laughter and bliss. Clarke remembered Octavia’s teasing words from the night before. _You like her._ She did, but was she just attracted to the pretty face or the woman behind it? She wasn’t sure. Dinner would tell, Clarke assured herself, and finally started to go through the work of young aspiring artists, such as her, for the upcoming exhibition. ‘Arkart’ was one of the few galleries in Arkadia, which offered young talent space to put up their pieces. Every three months, Clarke sent out flyers and invitations to encourage unsigned artists to provide samples of their work. Next week’s exhibition theme was ‘Local Inspiration’. She had already selected her own paintings to showcase, but as manager she also had the responsibility of choosing the best Arkadia’s youth had to offer.

# ***

Lexa arrived at ‘Nib & Scroll’ half an hour after leaving the park and climbed the stairs to burn off some of the pent-up frustration about the situation she was stuck in. She hated upsetting people in general. Lexa would much rather stand back and sacrifice her own needs, than disappoint others. She felt downright awful. She couldn’t get Clarke’s upset eyes out of her mind the whole ride into work. A small part of her congratulated herself for pulling off the stunt. A small, tiny, micro part though. The bigger and louder portion hoped Clarke would not give up on her. She sighed in relief on seeing the office was empty. Anya had stayed home after all. She slumped into her chair and pulled out her phone. No new messages. Lexa nibbled on her lower lip, contemplating whether to contact Clarke or not. She replayed the ‘almost kiss’ again and again in her mind. The vivid memory quickened her heartbeat and left her breathless. Within these two days, she’d already managed to get herself into serious trouble.

“Damnit!” Lexa huffed out in frustration. While settling down to work she whispered one of her favourite quotes, “Dear heart, stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood.”

# ***

On her way home, Clarke had met up with Raven for a few drinks, which had brightened her mood significantly. Now she was only exhausted due to the early morning calls. She had convinced herself to look forward to the next time she’d see Lexa. She would not give up after one miserable date. She never gave up. It wasn’t in her dictionary, and besides, Clarke had heard the ‘I hope so’ loud and clear. “No time like the present,” she muttered, reaching for her phone.

 

_Clarke – ravishing artist (22:23): When I look into your eyes, I tend to lose my head. I’m sorry if I misunderstood your signals._

_Lexa – stunning writer (22:26): Each time I see you I stop breathing for a second. I’m sorry if I reacted hesitantly._

_Clarke – ravishing artist (22:30): No worries. But jsyk, your lips had looked so lonely, I simply wondered, if they wanted to meet mine. No big deal._

_Lexa – stunning writer (22:31): Smooth. Teasing is my favourite kind of flirting._

_Lexa – stunning writer (22:40): Anyway, can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Sleep well beauty._

_Clarke – ravishing artist (22:41): Duly noted. I’m really looking forward to spending my time with you. Sweet dreams gorgeous._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... let me know what you think. Thanks to everyone for reading / favouriting / reviewing! You guys are awesome. See you next week. (probably)


	5. Day 3 - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the next day. Yay! Due to the lenght of the second part, I decided to again split the day in two chapters. Thanks for reading / favouriting / reviewing. Without further ado: Enjoy!

# Day 3 (Part 1)

 

It took Lexa a very long time before she was able to fall asleep. The striking blonde dominated each of her thoughts; held her mind hostage. Clarke had patiently waited for her all day long, never showing any signs of irritation. Magnificent blue eyes were searching for the most hidden secret in Lexa’s soul. Moist pink lips were teasing the writer to experience their alluring touch. She couldn’t stop thinking about how Clarke had made her feel, when she had trapped her against the car and between her arms. Her whole body was anticipating the rush of hormones through her veins, chasing reaction after reaction. From the warmth in her belly, over the tingle between her thighs, to the wobble of her knees. All of that, Lexa knew had been caused by Clarke, when she’d leaned in. Lexa had had to deploy her metaphorical parachute to catapult her far away, leaving her more frustrated than ever.

When she woke the next morning, she felt more exhausted than in a long time. Anya looked up from her phone when she heard Lexa’s bedroom door open. “Good morning sun… shine. Wow you look like death!” She stood up and walked over to cast a proper glance at Lexa’s face, taking the smaller girl’s chin between her finger and thumb. “Death warmed up!”

“Geez, thanks.” She swatted the offending hand away from her face.

“What happened?” Anya stepped back, giving her the space she wanted.

“Um, bad night.” She shrugged it off.

“Any particular reason?”

“Not really.” Lexa mumbled sluggishly.

“Anyway, how was it yesterday? Didn’t hear you coming home.” Anya poked for more information while walking back to the kitchen counter and resumed eating her breakfast.

“Ok and around 10 o’clock. Tried to be quiet for a change.” Lexa tiredly answered each question as briefly and abbreviated as possible. Thinking about Clarke the whole night, had made her even more unwilling to talk about her now.

“Right. Just to remind you. I’m not the one who has to get so annoyed by you, that I'll kick you out of my life.” Anya fixed Lexa with a ‘cut the crap’ look. “Now, sit down and talk.”

“If I must.” Lexa climbed onto one of the bar chairs and dropped her head onto her arms on the counter. A couple of minutes passed until she felt a warm cup being pushed against her elbow. She squinted at Anya before taking a sip. A small smile appeared on her face, but was quickly replaced with a pained scowl. “She is perfect.” She finally admitted, jaw twitching as she clenched her teeth.

“Um, I’m sure she would beg to differ. Why is that a problem now?”

“Not saying it is.”

Instead of replying, Anya studied Lexa's face. She looked excessively tired, but other than that she couldn’t decipher her tight-lipped friend.

“Care to elaborate?” She tried again.

“Will you make fun of me?”

“Can’t promise I won't.” When Lexa indicated to leave, Anya quickly reached out and pushed her back down. “Joking Lex! Come on.” The brunette sent an irate glance her way but resigned to the idea of talking.

 “Ok. I did all we came up with. I circled the park to be late. I whined even before we’d started walking, I requested breaks without reason. Gave awful answers. I even faked a fall to annoy her. Guess what, she wasn’t irritated at all. Not one single time. And you know why? Apparently being in nature relaxes her!” Lexa huffed out clearly annoyed.

“Ok, that just means we have to step up the game. No biggie!”

“Yes ‘biggie’, cause I can’t forget how patient and caring she was, even when I’d clearly been a pain all day long. And the icing on the cake?” Lexa paused to calm down. “She wanted to kiss me.” She finished in a quite voice.

“Wow, that indeed is a cherry on top. And? What happened?”

“I stopped her.” “But you didn’t want to stop her?”

“I wanted her to kiss me.”

“Lex? You know the task is to get rid off her, not fall for her.”

“I know. God damnit. That’s what I’m saying. She’s perfect!” Lexa slumped down and let her head fall back onto her arms facing Anya.

“Nah, no one is. Not even you.” She winked at her broody friend and cleared her cup into the sink.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lexa’s eyes narrowed in a mock glare.

Anya shrugged her shoulder and offered a hand. “It means we’re going to do some extensive research today.” She wiggled her fingers until the younger woman took her hand and let herself be pulled up and pushed towards the bathroom. “Get ready. We’re leaving in 20 minutes.”

“You know, I’m actually really nice, until **you** annoy me.” Lexa called into the empty living room before slamming the bathroom door shut.

# ***

Clarke woke up with the sun hitting her face and she let out a long growl. She had forgotten to close the curtains after messaging with Lexa. Damnit, she thought, but got up nevertheless. She had slept long enough, Clarke concluded after checking the time. No funny phone calls had disturbed her either. Raven had asked her, when they met up last night, if she knew more about them, but Clarke hadn’t been able to provide more information. The phone at the gallery hadn’t recorded any message she could trace back, so they had brushed it off and moved their conversation to the date. Raven had laughed at Clarke’s reminiscence of the morning and had let out an early celebration whoop. When the engineer had met Lexa in the club she hadn’t had guessed the woman could behave so differently.

Clarke had grinned when her friend had told her to either switch on the flirt high-key or stomach a lost bet. Thinking about last night, made Clarke smile again. Raven had the talent to get her out of any funk she might be in, no matter what. Speaking of funk, Clarke thought and smelt herself. She should probably take a shower. When she sat up her gaze fell onto the bedside table and her sketch pad caught her eye. She took it and stared at the drawing of Lexa she’d done yesterday, and the little doodle of her eyes, she’d drawn whilst texting the previous night. The drawings were unfinished but detailed enough to let loose millions of butterflies in her tummy when she looked at the beauty on the paper. Yeah, she definitely would not give up that easily, Clarke thought, before she traipsed into her bathroom leaving the pad on the living room table.

# ***

“Why do they call it rush hour if nothing moves?” Lexa sighed loudly.

“I’m really surprised Blondie wants to see you again if you’ve been as annoying yesterday as you are today. You are killing it. Relax, Lex.” Anya chuckled at her pun while playing with the radio.

“Her name’s Clarke.” Lexa growled and slapped her friend’s hand away from the entertainment system.

“I know, but I like to get you all riled up. So, what are the next plans? Dinner tonight you said?” She sat back and crossed her hands, unhappy at not being able to change the music.

“Yes. Clarke invited me, but I’m going to pick her up at the gallery.”

“Ok… so you could be really awful tonight.”

“I could.” Lexa replied vaguely, eyes back on the road, as the traffic was slowly moving again.

“First of all, let’s get a coffee once we’re at the office.” Anya dismissed the sombre reply. She had the feeling a little persuasion would be needed in order for Lexa to push on with the assigned task.

# ***

Octavia knocked loudly at Clarke’s door. When no one opened, she fished for her own key ring, looking for Clarke’s spare key. She let herself in and immediately realised why the blonde was ignoring her call and knocks. Splashing water and singing filled the otherwise silent apartment.

“ **Because I'm happy. Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof. Because I'm happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth.** ”

Clarke’s deep raspy voice reached her ears. “Someone is cheerful.” She murmured under her breath, before falling onto the couch. She took out her phone while waiting for Clarke to come out of the bathroom, when she noticed the sketchbook open on the couch table. “Wow,” Octavia whistled. She leaned forward to have a better view of the drawings. She knew Clarke was an exceptional artist, but the portrait of whom she thought must be Lexa and the sketch of a pair of eyes, showed a new detailedness, the brunette hadn’t seen in her art before.

“ **Because I'm happy. Clap along if you know what happiness is to you. Because I'm happy. Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.** ” 

Octavia believed, without a shadow of a doubt, her friend must really like this girl. The soft lines and details of the drawings blew her mind. Clarke must have spent some time watching and observing to be able to create them, plus this woman was very beautiful. No wonder, she’s smitten, she thought, on hearing the water stopped running. A minute later, the blonde emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, and saw her friend sitting on the couch.

“What the fuck O!!” Clarke yelled out, startled.

“Geez! Don’t freak out!”

“Fuck!” Clarke pulled her towel closer around her body, half out of modesty and half to hold onto something. “Fuck.” She repeated.

“Soz! Didn’t mean to startle you. Called you and knocked.” Octavia shrugged, putting back the sketchbook.

“Where’s the emergency?”

“We were supposed to meet. You didn’t show up. Coffee?” The brunette stood up to walk over to the kitchen.

“Shit. Gym. This morning. I’m so sorry.” Clarke ran a hand through her wet curls and plastered an apologetic smile on her face. “And yes please.”

“It’s not that you haven’t met up with me every third day for the past two months… I wondered if you were ok.” Octavia turned around from the counter to face her friend. “But I see where your mind has been recently.” She pointed to the pad on the table. “So, anything new?”

Clarke grinned and shrugged. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell and neither do I.”

“Oooooh… you guys kissed already?”

“Um, no actually. I meant that in a more liberal way. Hey, I’m gonna throw some clothes on. Give me a minute.” Octavia nodded and turned back to the coffee machine when Clarke left the room.

“So, I was thinking we should make up for the missed training. I need to be back at the gym in a bit, but what about tomorrow morning? You and I? Lots of fresh air and the lonely rural footpath at the river?” Octavia suggested calling over her shoulder.

“That sounds like you're planning on killing me and disposing my body!” Clarke hollered back from inside her closet. Seconds later she emerged, and walked over to Octavia, who smirked at her.

“Well I do plan on” – she made quotation marks with her hands in the air - “‘killing’ you, but you’ll have to drag your weary body back home on your own.” She handed Clarke the mug with a wink.

“As amazing as that sounds -” She took a sip of her coffee and smiled at Octavia. “I can’t tomorrow. I get the delivery of the paintings and sculptures for the exhibition next week. Probably end up sleeping there.” Clarke exaggerated shamelessly.

Checking her calendar on her mobile Octavia ignored the comment. “Ok. Day after? Don’t rain check again.”

“Yeah. Ok. Message me an invitation so I’ll have it in my agenda. Sorry O for standing you up today.”

“Easy. Gotta run. What’s the deal for today?” She got up and walked over.

“Dinner. Thought of taking her to Jasper&Monty.”

“Probably the only restaurant you can get a table on such short notice. Good choice though.” Octavia pulled the blonde into a fierce hug. “Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do.”

Clarke pushed her towards the door with a wide grin. “Wouldn't dream of stooping so low.”

“Fuck off Griffin!” She laughed out loud and waved goodbye.

“See ya.” Clarke closed the door and leaned against it. Octavia had made a valid point though, she thought, and pulled out her mobile. A few minutes later she hung up with a smile on her face. Monty had been very happy to give her a table in the more secluded area of the restaurant.

The idea of having Lexa driving her, was still not sitting right with Clarke, and so she made another call.

# ***

“So I've got some pretty cool ideas for tonight.” Both writers were sat in their chairs opposite each other facing their computers. Anya was sipping her coffee while browsing the Internet.

“Ok.” Lexa replied hesitantly, slowly looking up from her phone, coffee forgotten in her left hand.

“Stop checking your damn phone all the time. That’s annoying and frustrating. WAIT! That's it.”

The brunette stared in confusion between the cup in her hand and the woman in front of her.

“Earth to Lexa. Come out to play.” Anya laughed heartily at the display. “Seriously though. Get your shit together.”

“She hasn't messaged. She usually messages in the morning.”

Anya rolled her eyes at the pathetic statement. “Well, the word ‘usually’ implies something has been done on regular terms for some time and not TWO days. Don't worry. You'll see her tonight. She wanted to kiss you. You got her. Now, back to annoying the little Blondie.”

“Her name is -“

“Clarke. I know.” Anya interrupted her. “At least now I have your attention. Take notes.” A pen hit the brunette on her forehead.

“Ouch! Damnit An." She rubbed her temple, but fished for the pen nevertheless. "Ok ok! Let's hear your ideas before you implode.”

“Cool. So one thing you should do, is check your phone an insane amount of time. Like, even when she’s talking to you. That should be the easiest thing to do for you, as you're doing it all the time.”

“That sounds awful.” Lexa pulled her lower lip between her teeth, sporting a disapproving frown.

“Newsflash - you're supposed to be awful!” Anya shook her head. “Ok, I know you like this girl, but seriously Lex, you need to girl the hell up. Where is the though writer, who accepted the challenge of this article, cos she's needed right now.”

Lexa slowly sat up. Anya was right. She’d got herself into that disaster, now she had to finish it. Head over heart she repeated her mantra over and over before looking back up. “Right. Ok. So what else?”

“What about checking out another waitress? I’m sure that would stir even ‘Miss Relaxed’ out of her reverie. Oh, or you could complain about prices, and if she then offers to pay, as she’d invited you, you could be like ‘Ok, but I won’t take anything expensive. I’ll go for a salad.’ type of woman. Then be really indecisive of which one to actually order. Ooo, and then hogged the conversation. Talk like a waterfall about all the achievements of your life. Academic distinction you know. I know you got plenty of them. Oh, and of course, interrupt her. Yeah that’s infuriating. Um, what else?” Anya stopped her onslaught of ideas, to scroll further down the site she was looking at.

“Ok. I think there are already enough impressively horrible ideas for one evening.”

“Just asked ‘Mommy Google’. You won’t believe what the Internet has in store. ”

Lexa wouldn't be surprised, if some of the ideas were actually first hand experiences of Anya herself.

# ***

Clarke was just finishing up with arranging the artists in groups according to their type of art, when she received a message from Raven, saying it was ok, and she would come round after work. Relieved, the blonde smiled to herself and opened her conversation with Lexa. She hadn’t messaged her yet and was eager to hear from her. After Clarke had sent her message, she went back to the task at hand.

# ***

Lexa was nervous. She still hadn’t heard from Clarke. Would she be stood up? She started to tap her pencil set, in shape of drumsticks, against her thighs.

“Are you for real? Stop it!”

“I can’t. I-“ In that moment Lexa’s phone vibrated hard against the smooth top of her desk. She quickly straightened up and reached for the device.

_Clarke – ravishing artist (13:20): G’day gorgeous. Small change of plan. Please message me, where you’d like me to pick you up at seven o'clock. Can’t wait._

“Finally!” Anya exclaimed overjoyed, and added, after seeing Lexa’s confused look, “What’s cooking?”

“That’s weird. She wants to pick me up.”

“Didn't you say, she doesn't have a car?”

“Yeah. She must have borrowed one.”

“Ok. Well that means you have more time later. Care to join me for lunch?”

Lexa nodded her approval, but held one hand up, gesturing she needed a few minutes. Staring at her phone, she thought about her reply.

_Lexa – stunning writer (13:30): Hello Clarke. Missed your morning message. Please come by my place - Washington road 102. Can’t wait either. See you soon._

She stood up, pocketed her phone and purse and followed Anya out. As they usually ate at the restaurant located on the ground level of their building, Lexa looked questioningly when she was stopped from turning towards the eatery.

“Fancy trying the new place at the corner? Next to the gym?” Not having an opinion, she just shrugged. As they passed the fitness centre, Anya spontaneously decided to enter and pulled Lexa along. “I’ve been meaning to inquire about their courses and prices since opening.” They walked through a short corridor, passing a gallery of paintings depicting all sorts of motivational colour patterns. Some combinations were quite challenging to the eye, but Lexa felt their energy. Great pictures to put up in such a place, she thought. The tight hall opened up into a spacious waiting area with glass windows showing the training grounds located below. While Anya waited at the reception, Lexa looked at the many photographs on the wall next to them. Suddenly she stopped and stepped closer to inspect a collage of various pictures. Her glance had landed on a black and white picture showing three women lying on top of a campervan. In other pictures she identified two of the ladies, as she had already met them. The third had just walked up behind the counter.

“Hi there. What can I do for you?” She greeted cheerfully. Lexa's eyes flickered between the photos on the wall and the woman behind the desk. She then quickly scanned her nametag - Octavia. Lexa immediately looked back up to be met with inquisitive eyes.

“Are you Clarke’s friend Octavia?”

“Are you Clarke’s Lexa?”

Both women asked at the same time, leaving Anya looking confusedly from one to the other.

“Yes, I am.”

“I guess so.”

“Wow, that’s weird.” Anya finally squeezed back into the conversation. Two sets of eyes focused on hers. She shrugged and gestured for the two to return back to their question – answer – game.

“How come you know me?” Lexa asked somewhat perplexed. Obviously it wasn't difficult for her to conclude who Octavia was, after she had seen the picture of the three girls and had learned the story from Clarke. The other brunette looked much less confused.

“I saw you in Clarke’s sketchbook.”

The journalist, too confused to think on, just nodded her head. What was that? Her Lexa? What the...

“I take it you’re Lexa friend? The one she works and lives with?” Octavia finally addressed the third person in the room.

“The one and only. Anya.” She waved in greeting.

“Ok. So what were you looking for?” Octavia looked at both women.

“Actually, we work around the corner.” Anya gestured to the big building on the opposite side of the street. “I wanted to know what you offer.”

“Why don't you have a look through the flyer and we’ll book you in for a trial?” A colourful guide changed hands and the blonde left the reception to have a quick look around. Octavia focused back on Lexa, a bright smile on her face, who had been watching her silently with a tiny frown.

“Can I ask you something?” She finally said. Octavia nodded her positive response and smiled a little wider.

“If I were to invite Clarke to something like the theatre or a musical, what would she prefer?” Lexa thought a while whether to involve the blonde's friend or not, but she couldn't let the opportunity pass by to learn crucial information.

“Oh? Right. Um.” Octavia thought for a moment. “I think, Clarke loves theatre productions but finds musicals a bit over the top.”

Lexa nodded, and before she could thank Octavia for her advise, Anya was back at her side.

“Ok. This is really cool, what you've got here. Kudos! I'll be back for sure!" The tall blonde smiled approvingly.

“Thanks, and don't hesitate to ask for me. I'll make sure to personally show you around if manageable.”

Anya shook her hand and Lexa simply lowered her head slightly, acknowledging Octavia’s help. They left a minute later to finally get their lunch. The fitness trainer watched them leave with a smile. She was sure, Clarke would enjoy going to the theatre with Lexa. Or was it musicals she liked? Wide eyes stared at the retreating women.

“Oh no. I hope I haven't mixed it up.” Octavia whispered to herself, biting her bottom lip in worry.

“So? What did you learn about your blonde nemesis?” Anya casually asked between bites of her chicken salad.

“Octavia said, Clarke would hate musicals.”

“When are we getting tickets for Mamma Mia?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the tiny cliffhanger. Thanks again to everyone for reading. Hope you liked it? Let me know. Check put tumblr #htlsi10d for accompanying pictures. Have anice time, enjoy the upcoming episode (I know I will) and see you next week. Cheers, J


	6. Day 3 - Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the reviews / favourites / alarms. I'm humbled by the feedback. You guys are awesome. And now.. enjoy the seconds half of day 3.

# Day 3 (Part 2)

 

As promised earlier, Raven stopped by the gallery to drop off her car. She accepted a cold soft drink from Clarke as a thank you and followed her through the rooms.

“Thanks Ray. Looks like I got all I need now. What are your plans now that I've stolen your car?” She asked over her shoulder.

“Hanging out at home, Netflix and a cold beer or two. What have you actually planned for tonight?”

“I didn’t really organise anything. Let’s see where this will go. We got a table in the secluded area, so I hope the more intimate seating would contribute to a nice conversation and-”.

“Yada yada yada.“ Raven interrupted. “I mean afterwards dummy!”

“As I’ve just stated, before you so rudely interrupted, I’ll go with the mood.” She grinned promisingly.

Instead of an answer Raven just winked at her. “You do that. Anyway, I wish you fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” With that Clarke pushed her towards the doors of the gallery.

“You are outrageous! O said the same. Who do you guys think I am? Never mind!" She stopped Raven, who had opened her mouth to reply. "Leave now, I need to get ready. Car keys?” She stretched out her palm. Raven grinned dirtily and dropped them into her hand. “Clean the car afterwards,” she hollered laughingly on her way out.

# ***

_Clarke – ravishing artist (18:35): On my way. So excited. See you soon. :-)_

Lexa studied her newest message and smiled. She was excited as well but also very nervous.

“What if I piss her off so much that she’ll throw in the towel already?” She shifted her focus on Anya’s reflection in the mirror she was standing in front of.

“Yeah, that could happen. Maybe you see how it goes. If she’s too angry, you stop and lay low. Get back on her good side. Flirt with her. You’re good at that.”

Lexa scowled at her friend’s words but quickly refocused her attention back to her face.

“I hope she won’t become too upset again…”

# ***

_Lexa – stunning writer (18:50): I’m ready. I’ll wait for you in front of the building._

Clarke read the latest message whilst waiting at a traffic light. She really hoped for a repeat of their coffee date. The conversation had flowed so easily between them. Their connection was magnetic, their chemistry electrifying. Without any effort, she could remember the soft touch of the silky skin of Lexa’s cheek under her lips. That feeling was forever carved into her brain. She smiled lightly, wondering if she were to experience other parts of the brunette with her lips tonight, when a loud horn disturbed her musing. She shook her head at her last thought, before calling out to no one in particular, “Shit! Yes, YES! Damnit, I’m moving. Ok. Stop it already!” She quickly lifted her foot from her brake and set off again.

When she reached the apartment block, she recognised the silhouette of the slim woman under a street lamp. She had straightened her wild mane a little, but had let it flow freely over her back and she was clutching a tiny handbag to her chest. Clarke silently appreciated the short, black and blue dress she could make out under the warm coat. When her eyes fell onto black strappy heels she approvingly whistled. Clarke parked the car close by and slowly climbed out, reaching for a single rose on the passenger seat. She walked over to Lexa, who smiled brightly at her, leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Being so close she saw that the makeup was spot on and made the green eyes appear darker than she’d ever seen them before. Clarke had to restrain herself from leaning back in for a real kiss and instead handed her the rose.

“Hi beautiful. For you.” Her voice betrayed her, breaking in excitement.

“Hi, wow you look absolutely stunning Clarke!” Lexa said, taking the rose and smelling it, while she took in the other woman’s attire. She wore a white blouse and dark skinny jeans with black high heels and a sparkling blazer. Her hair was down and she had applied subtle makeup.

“You look breath-taking!" The blonde returned the compliment, unable to tear her eyes away. They were utterly lost in each other for a few moments, before both finding their voice at the same time.

"Shall we go?"

"Thank you for my rose."

They said and laughed immediately. Instead of repeating her question, Clarke offered her arm and Lexa looped hers through. She guided her to the passenger side of the car, opened the door and helped her in, before quickly walking around the front to get in as well.

"So, I thought I’d take you to one of my favourite restaurants?"

"That-" Lexa stopped shortly to think about her answer. She should say something awful but Clarke looked so radiant and beautiful and happy, she just wanted to be selfish and enjoy the moment. "That sounds really nice. Thank you Clarke."

By now, the blonde was addicted to the way her name rolled off Lexa's tongue and she shivered in response.

"Awesome. Let's go then. Any acoustical preferences?"

"Not really." Lexa laughed out. "You choose."

Clarke decided on her painting playlist, which held lots of piano music and drove them to the restaurant. As the drive was rather short, they only managed to exchange a few things, which happened since they'd seen each other last. When they arrived, Clarke was quick to open the door for Lexa and offered her hand to help her out the car. Instead of dropping it, once the brunette stood firmly next to the car, she linked their fingers together. Lexa looked surprised at the unexpected contact but squeezed it quickly to show it was wanted. She just couldn’t turn her away.

"So how come Raven hadn’t needed her car?" She asked when they walked over to the restaurant.

"Well, I asked nicely." Clarke opened the door to the restaurant, released the palm she was holding to place her hand at Lexa’s lower back to guide her inside. "And she had no plans."

They walked up to the 'wait to be seated counter' where a pretty woman scribbled into a booking ledger.

"Table for two, booked for Griffin?"

The hostess looked up at the surname and pulled her mouth into a half smile.

"Clarke! Long time no see."

"Hi Maya. Too long I know. All good?"

"Yes. Alright, follow me please." She took two menus and led them to the back of the restaurant where a small staircase took them up to the next floor, which consisted of a small area with a few tables secured by balustrades. The rest of the second floor had been removed to offer an unobstructed view from the ground level to the ceiling of the restaurant. They were led to a table next to the railing. Clarke pulled out the chair for Lexa before settling down on the opposite site. She received a radiant smile while Maya lit the candles held up by two long elegant silvery candleholders and handed them the carte.

"I'm sending Monty over in a few. Have a nice evening ladies." She winked at Clarke, smiled and left.

"Do you know everyone in Arkadia?" Lexa asked, when Maya was out of earshot, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice after witnessing the wink. Instead of jumping at the chance to cause a horrible scene, she was genuinely confused and needed some kind of reassurance. She internally groaned at her weak self.

"Almost." Clarke grinned. "Actually, when I said, this was my favourite restaurant, I might have forgotten to add it's owned by two very good friends and Maya-" She stopped, making sure to have Lexa's attention, not having missed the small glare at the hostess. "She's the wife of one of them."

"Oh." Lexa blushed slightly and lifted the menu to hide behind it, but was stopped by two fingers.

"I would not be on a date with you, if I weren't available." Blue eyes bored into green to emphasize the meaning of her words. Clarke took her hand off the menu and let Lexa finally hide behind it, smiling at the display.

"Clarke, hi!" The man seemed to come out of nowhere and pulled the blonde into a big hug. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"Monty! Wow, it's good to see you too."

"I was surprised when you called. Last time I checked you preferred pizza and beer with O and Ray, instead of-" He finally registered the other woman at the table and looked back at the blonde with big eyes. "Ups. You're here on a date!"

"I am." Clarke laughed confidently. "Monty, this is Lexa."

"Hi. Welcome to our humble dining place.” He grinned at both and asked, "What can I get you?"

"We haven't really had time to have a look yet. Can you give us a few minutes?" He nodded and walked off, while Clarke turned to Lexa. "Please choose whatever you desire. I’m planning on spoiling you tonight.” She smiled and received one in return. Lexa decided again to ignore another good chance to turn this so far beautiful date into a disastrous encounter. She was too enthralled by the blonde vis-à-vis.

Monty came back and they ordered. Soon the table was filled with drinks and snacks, greetings from the kitchen. Lexa nibbled on a piece of bread while looking at Clarke who in turn played with her glass smiling timidly back.

“This is a beautiful place. Thank you for bringing me here.”

“I loved it from the moment they bought the restaurant. It was a library before. The area we are sitting in, originally housed chairs and couches and the ground level was full of bookshelves. It took us nearly a month to clear it all out.” Clarke pointed out some of the decorations they could see from their table. She remembered buying them with either of the two owners. Remembering the pictures in Octavia’s gym, Lexa asked, if she had provided any paintings for the restaurant.

“As a matter of fact, I have given paintings to all businesses of my friends. It’s good advertisement, and they all claim to be my biggest fans.” She grinned, unknowingly confirming the writer’s suspicions, the colourful canvasses in the fitness centre were Clarke’s creations. “Speaking of, the mural-“ she pointed with her finger to the opposite wall, which was visible from nearly all tables on both levels. “Did you paint that?” Lexa interrupted her baffled. Clarke blushed lightly and nodded. “Wow! It’s absolutely stunning.” She stood up and walked over to the balustrade to admire the full scene, which reminded her of Venice, Italy. The whole picture was set in twilight. The darkening blue sky, still without stars, covered the upper part of the wall. Streetlights illuminated the scenery and were reflected in the river, which dominated the centre of the painting. In the background a cosy promenade with cafés and restaurant in front of a row of houses could be seen. A few patrons were sat at tables close to the riverfront. In the distance Lexa could see a bridge, which span over the river and connected both sides. The whole wall mural could be a photograph with its details and clear lines, but was very distinctly a painting. She was impressed and in admiration of the blonde who created that piece of realism. When she turned back she caught Clarke’s gaze, which had lingered on her. Lexa smiled and walked back to the table, brushing her hand along an exposed neck causing a shiver down the artist’s spine.

“This is breathtakingly beautiful Clarke.” She sat back down and smiled softly.

“Thanks. I spent a long time at it. I’m happy you like it. Fun fact? When you switch off the lights the ceiling of the restaurant will illuminate. I created a night sky by using phosphorescent paint.”

“Really? Wow I have to see this!”

“Ok. I can ask if they can switch off the lights for a moment, if that makes you happy.” Clarke laughed gently.

“Yes please.” Lexa relaxed in her chair. “So, why did you decide to become an artist?”

“Art is a lifelong challenge and an infinite intellectual puzzle.” The blonde explained. “Getting lost in the moment while creating art is liberating beyond anything else I have experienced.”

“Wow, this sounds rehearsed.” Lexa smiled with a little frown.

“Well, I had many people, including my mum, who questioned my sanity when I decided I wanted a career as an artist. I picked up a brush when my dad died. I was told, it might help.” She said in a very matter of fact voice, indicating she wasn’t overly affected by her revelation. Or not any more, Lexa thought. “Quite frankly,” Clarke continued, “it changed my way of seeing the world. I started to see beauty and patterns in things I didn’t before.”

“I understand. What do you like most about being an artist?” She rested her elbows on the table and dropped her head in her hands, intrigued by their conversation. She hadn’t had a chance to have such an intimate conversation with Clarke before.

“Um I don’t know. I guess it’s this amazing, unexpected by-product of making art that can bring happiness to others.” Clarke was surprised Lexa didn’t dwell on the information of her father’s death.

“I completely understand. This is how I feel when it comes to writing.”

“Have you written anything besides articles yet?” Relieved, she jumped at the chance to change the subject. Lexa shifted her position slightly to lean further forward. Clarke subconsciously registered the movement and leaned in too. When Lexa changed her hand from holding onto her wine glass to simply resting on the table, the blonde placed a tender hand on top of it.

“Yes, um I haven’t published anything yet, but I’ve written some short stories.”

“Has anyone had the pleasure of reading them?” Clarke asked her thumb softly caressed the back of a tender hand while looking at Lexa, who in turn shivered at the intensity of her blue eyes. Clarke really had the gift to make her feel special and wanted at the same time.

“Not yet.” She breathed out just before the food arrived. Clarke quickly squeezed the hand she was holding and released it. Both women lowered their heads to inspect the food whilst praying the other won’t realise the elaborated breathing and fast heartbeat.

“Um. Looks great, don’t you think? Enjoy.”

“Yes indeed. Thank you.” A short exchange of smiles later they started eating.

“That’s really good. Wanna try?” Clarke offered a bit of her dinner to Lexa, who accepted the bite without thinking. She closed her mouth around the fork and slid the food off of it before releasing the metal tool, which was left hovering awkwardly in air, as Clarke’s glance was lost on Lexa’s lips, mouth slightly open. Seeing the display, the brunette smiled and licked her lips for good measure. A toothy grin brought the blonde finally out of her trance.

“Sorry.” She said sheepishly. “You have the most sensual mouth, you know that?”

“Oh, um, thank you.” Blushing at the compliment, Lexa pointed to her plate. “Do you want to try some of mine?”

“I’ve actually tried all dishes on the menu.” She laughed. “Perks of being friends with a young chef who still tries to find his very own niche of creating delicious food.”

They resumed eating, stealing glances at one another once in a while, when Clarke asked, “So… why journalism?”

“Sorry.” Lexa took a minute to swallow her food. “Um, I like to be able to write about topics I’m invested in. I joined the high school newspaper in my junior year to write about homosexual rights and to increase awareness. At the end I loved it so much I decided to study journalism. Although looking back at the last couple of years of being an intern that wasn’t always fun.” She scrunched up her nose in disapproval.

“Oh no!” Clarke laughed. “Tell me about it. What was the worst thing?” She lowered her fork, eyes wide in excitement and a smile on her lips, diner forgotten.

“Ever heard of the ‘running of the interns’?” When her question was met with a headshake, Lexa continued. “Before I came to work at Nib&Scroll, I used to work as an intern at a newspaper in Ton DC. Despite living in a technologically advanced time, it turned out, that all major decisions from the Supreme Court still had to be put on paper. No phones or laptops were allowed inside the building.” She paused to eat a forkful of her dinner and washed it down with a sip of her wine.

“Wow, that’s awfully old-fashioned.” While she was telling her story, Clarke resumed eating but held Lexa’s eyes hostage in an intense glance and nodded casually along.

“Yes, it was, and as an intern, we were the ones who were sent inside to get the news, to then sprint back out to the waiting news van to send in the new ruling. And the worst part…” She looked at Clarke, a grin forming on the artist’s lips. “The very first time I had to do that job, I showed up dressed in a skirt and heels.” She started laughing. “Needless to say, I was the joke of the day when I tried to run to my supervisor to give her the news.”

“I’m sure you looked very elegant.” Clarke said laughingly.

Lexa rolled her eyes at the statement. “More like stupid, I’d say. No one told me what I had to do.” She added still laughing. “Nearly as embarrassing as the time when I had to intern at the news hotline. You wouldn’t believe how many weird people I had to inform that they couldn’t buy the cheese that the truck driver spilled onto the road after hitting a bridge. Anya made fun of me for ages.”

“Oh my god! Really?” Clarke burst out laughing while Lexa only nodded too busy with laughing herself. They slowly calmed down, while smiling at each other.

“Yeah, so that’s me. Now your turn.” The brunette dallied away another opportunity to ruin the date. She was too interested in hearing a story from Clarke to consider hogging the conversation with boring useless ‘behind the news desk’ stories.

“Ok.” Clarke said after sitting back comfortably, having finished eating. “My worst experience?” She stopped again, looking up at the ceiling in thought, biting her lower lip. Lexa slowly swallowed at the display, and grabbed her wineglass to moisten her sudden dry throat.

“Ah, got it. Ok, so I worked at ArkArt for just a little over two months when it happened. My boss and I had prepared an auction to make way for new paintings, when a well-dressed lady with her young kid entered the gallery. I was responsible for the safety of the paintings.” Clarke’s focus shifted from Lexa’s eyes to her mouth, watching it embrace the rim of the wineglass. She stopped talking; wishing to be the inanimate object that had the attention of those moist lips, that were now curling up into a smile.

“Right.” She cleared her throat, blushing. Lexa would be the death of her. Lexa and her fucking hot mouth. Clarke shook her head and quickly continued her story. “So, the woman calmly started to inspect the paintings and completely ignored her son. I made her aware of the danger of leaving the kid unsupervised, of course, however, I’d shifted my attention to another customer. It was only when I heard a man shouting, that I saw that the kid had started to draw on one of the priced canvases. With a white pen of all pens.” Clarke stopped talking again as she had started laughing remembering the absurd moment.

“So, here I was running back over to whip the pen out of that kids hand and turned as calmly as possible to the mother to inform her, that he had just defaced one of the paintings. She skyrocketed and screamed at me, that she would never come back and how dare I touch her son.” They laughed in unison now. Lexa adored the soft, deep laugh nearly as much as the voice. Nothing was more enticing than letting this raspy low sound rush through her body and ignite all sorts of effects.

“To make a long, very messy story short, after I told her the painting would cost $4500 she left the gallery, dragging her kid along, to than be stopped by the police and forced to pay up.” Clarke finished the story quickly, seeing Monty approaching the table.

“How was your food?” He asked, starting to reach for the plates and cutlery.

“Excellent. Tell Jas to stop by so we can pat him on the back. Ooh, also… can you switch off the light for a few seconds? I want to show Lexa the ceiling.” She begged with her hands and batted her eyelashes.

“I’ll tell him and yes of course. Can I get you any dessert maybe?”

“In a little while? You could leave us a menu.” Clarke looked questioningly at Lexa, who nodded her approval.

“You got it. Let me know, when you’re ready.” He cleaned everything away and left the women alone again.

A silence engulfed them but neither cared as they happily, and contently stared at each other. Lexa’s green eyes were sparkling in happiness and contentment. Whatever she had thought was beauty, before she had met the brunette, Clarke now knew was only prettiness compared to this exquisiteness. As much as she tried not to think about it, she couldn’t stop wondering about those full lips. Couldn’t stop looking at them. Clarke was helplessly falling deeper and deeper without looking for a lifeline.

While dark blue orbs roamed over her face, Lexa studied the blonde’s features. She was smiling; her whole face was lost in rapture. Her lips looked so soft she had to actively contain a moan when she remembered again for the millionth time the ‘almost kiss’ from the previous day. Don’t go there, she scolded herself and cleared her throat. Clarke’s dreamy expression changed and she looked expectantly at her.

“So, what are you doing when you’re not working?” Lexa grimaced internally at her lame question.

“Not much right now. I’ve to plan an exhibition for next week. You think I’m a professional by now, as I’ve executed so many, since I’d started working at the gallery. But here I am, freaking out over the work I still haven’t done yet. I even stood Octavia up this morning. I usually go to her gym every third day. Hey, I think her gym is just around the corner of your office.” She exclaimed suddenly, remembering being told the name of the magazine.

“Blake’s Body Brainwash?”

“You like the name?” Clarke grinned. “Raven’s idea after a game of tequila – pong way back in college. O always wanted to open her own fitness studio. We would have forgotten about the name, if I hadn’t recorded the whole messy evening for my technology inspired art project.” She shook her head in disbelief. “I never would have thought she’d actually go with it.”

“You’re very close to your friends.” It was meant as a simple statement but Clarke furrowed her brows and cocked her head at it nonetheless, sensing a hidden question. She leaned forward on her crossed arms, which rested on top of the table.

“Octavia and Raven were there for me, when no one else was. Those two are my family. The rest are a colourful bunch of weirdoes who love me and I adore them.” She explained softly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Well, I guess we come across as very tightly bonded.” Clarke uncrossed her arms and stretched her left hand towards Lexa with her palm up. When Lexa put her right into the offered one, she turned her hand and linked their fingers together, stroking her thumb over sensitive skin. “I had a tough time a few years back, but this is by no means a topic for a date.” She leaned further forward and softly kissed the back of the brunette’s hand while looking deeply into dark green eyes.

“Ok.” Lexa breathed out unable to formulate a more complex answer. Aware of her effect Clarke winked at the brunette before letting go of her hand and asked, “Can I tempt you to a dessert?”

Lexa blinked a couple of times to process the question, still feeling the tingle on the back of her hand from the kiss and the butterflies in her tummy from the wink. “Um. Ye-No?”

“Excuse me?” Clarke laughed and leaned back in her seat to give Lexa more room to breathe.

“I’m sorry.” She laughed. “I meant to say no but you got me distracted there. I’m actually quite full.” Before either of them could say anything else, the lights went off and silence surrounded them. Lexa’s gaze rose to the ceiling and she let out a gasp. Uncountably many stars and galaxies glowed in the darkness all over the ceiling. A hint of a nebula centered the painting. She lowered her head and looked at Clarke, who grinned at her.

“I take it you like it?”

“I’m actually speechless, to be honest.” She looked back up again and shook her head. “You are phenomenal!” The lights came back on and the restaurant roused from its stupor with the usual sounds of cutlery scraping against porcelain and the constant murmurs of subdued conversation taking over.

“How did you do that?” Lexa lowered her glance onto the blonde, an amazed expression on her face.

“How about, we leave and take a stroll through the park? If you’re good I’ll let you in on the secret.” Clarke shamelessly flirted, using the daze Lexa was in.

“Ok.” She replied without resistance, a cheeky smile playing at the corner of her mouth. “I can be a very good girl.” Knowing by now how it made the other woman shiver, she added, “Clarke.” Bright blue eyes darkened immediately and Lexa bit her lower lip at the vision. She was drawn to those ravenous _eyes, captured by the_ want in the dilated pupils. There was no denying it, she was fatally attracted to the blonde. She laughed to ease the charged atmosphere.

“I better pay quickly then.” Clarke cleared her throat and quickly looked around to make eye contact with a waiter, indicating she wanted the bill. She turned back after receiving a nod of understanding and hastily finished her water, avoiding eye contact. This was brilliant, Clarke thought sarcastically. I need to get my feelings under control or I will come on too strong. I need - no scratch that – I want to do right by Lexa.

The brunette, equally flustered, closed her eyes and arched her back to try and relieve some of the pressure. Oh god! Clarke let out a long slow breath, nervously shifting her eyes from cleavage to face and back. Lexa tilted her head left and right, before opening her eyes and witnessing the seductive look on the blonde’s face, which made her moan quietly. Within seconds her facial features changed to the ‘deer in headlights’ look. No, no, no, no, no - this was not good she thought. “Please excuse me, but I need to use the bathroom.” She blurted out and quickly stood up.

Clarke immediately sobered after seeing Lexa’s face, who stepped further back to the stairs.

“Downstairs, on your right. Will you be back?”

Would she run? She really didn’t know, so she just nodded nearly imperceptibly and walked down the stairs as quickly as she could, feeling eyes on her back.

“Fuck!” Clarke said in frustration. She’d scared her again. Like when she’d tried to kiss her the previous day. “Why can’t I keep it in my pants?” she spoke under her breath.

“Because this woman is insanely gorgeous and you’ve been single way to long?”

“Monty! This is not the right time to tease, ok?”

“Ok. Got it. You wanted the bill?”

She nodded whilst accepting the receipt and handing over her card.

“If you ask me, you don’t need to worry. She looks like she wants to eat you. Quite literally actually.” He laughed at his joke while scanning the offered plastic.

“You think? I don’t know. I feel like she’s hiding some serious closeness issues or something.”  
“Or, she’s just very overwhelmed by what you make her feel? Maybe you’re dealing with bad timing? You should ask her.” He handed her the card and patted friendly her back. “Anyway, it was nice seeing you again. We should hang out soon. Sorry Jasper couldn’t drop by. We’re really busy.”  
“No worries. I’ll call soon and we’ll arrange something. Sure O and Ray would want to meet up too. Thanks Monty.” She hugged him, grabbed the rose and their jackets and followed him downstairs.

As soon as Lexa had entered the bathroom she’d walked straight up to the sink and splashed cold water on her hot face, cooling it down quickly. She was such a useless journalist, she thought. She had one task - annoy the hell out of Clarke - and she’d screwed up big time. Anya would probably kill her. She was distinctly aware of what she should have done all night, but couldn’t bring herself to do so. Instead she’d let loose, and now she felt too much. She’d surprised herself when she’d turned her back on Clarke and walked away. Ok, less drama, she’d just been to the bathroom, she chided herself for thinking she’d done something right. She dried her hands and stared at her reflection. “Just this one night,” she whispered, trying to convince herself, that she could be a bad girl tomorrow again, before leaving the restroom.

She’d just finished putting her coat on, when Lexa exited the bathroom. Clarke smiled softly and held out the jacket for Lexa to slip into it. She held out the rose again and was glad, when it was replaced with a warm hand, linking their fingers together. She waved goodbye when they passed Maya and opened the door for Lexa to step out into the brisk evening.

“I think,” Clarke spoke gently into the night “it is best, if I drop you off home. It’s rather late and I have a lot to do tomorrow as you do as well, I assume.” She squeezed the hand to assure her good intentions. If close proximity or timing were the problem, she was willing to step back and give her a few more days. She still had time, but if she was honest, she couldn’t care less about the bet. She was too far gone, to let it be destroyed by a stupid drunken game. She’d suck it up and let Raven have her happy dance, if she in turn, stuck out long enough to get this woman.

“I-”Lexa didn’t really know what to say. She thought her attraction was blatantly obvious, as the reason she’d bolted. Had she confused Clarke again? Her abrupt bathroom escape must have puzzled her, Lexa concluded. She stopped walking a few meters from the car and turned to face Clarke, who was curiously eyeing her. The mellow light of a streetlamp partially lightened the blonde’s face giving it a mesmerizing glow. “Um-” She was lost for words, gaze flickering over the face of the smaller woman in front of her. She stepped even closer focusing her gaze solely on Clarke’s mouth. She softly caressed a warm cheek before placing her hand at the back of the blonde’s head to gently pull her closer towards her. Just this one night, she reminded herself, before closing her eyes and the remaining gap between them. At first Clarke was perplexed and Lexa felt the restraint for a second before her kiss was reciprocated. Slow dancing lips continued their silent conversation. An eager mouth drew a low moan from Clarke’s throat. She came out of her kiss-induced bliss and sucked the brunette’s bottom lip into her mouth and nibbled lightly on the sensitive skin before sliding her tongue over it to soothe the teased flesh. Lexa whimpered at the contact of the velvety tongue. When her legs started to tremble, she pulled Clarke closer with her other hand around the blonde’s waist until their bodies were pressed up against one another. She ran her fingers through the soft hair at the back of her neck when she felt strong hands around her own waist anchoring them both. Their lips moved with each other with unexpected familiarity. When Clarke felt Lexa’s tongue asking for more, she slowly pulled back. This was better than she’d imagined. Hell, the best first kiss ever, she thought. Feeling the effect in her lower body, she needed to stop them before she couldn’t resist anymore. She rested her forehead against Lexa’s, licked her lips and kept her eyes closed, savouring the moment, feeling their ragged breaths mingle between them, chests heaving rapidly. “Wow.” She managed to breathe. Lexa lifted her head and a smile started to grow on her face. “Good wow or bad wow?” She teased the blonde.

“I don’t think I need to answer that.” Clarke said, pulling one hand from Lexa’s waist holding it up to show the trembling. Lexa laughed at that and pulled her back in, connecting their lips for a short, sweet kiss.

“I wanted to kiss you the whole evening.” She whispered against puffy lips.

“Mmmm…” was all Clarke could manage as an answer. God knew she hadn’t stopped thinking about kissing her either. She was in heaven. Lexa surrounded her, pulled her in, made her drown in deep green eyes and entrapped her with those voluptuous lips. “You are phenomenal.” She repeated the brunette’s earlier words. She lowered her head slightly and pressed her nose against the sensitive skin at Lexa’s neck, inhaling her scent deeply before leaving a kiss on the pulse point. Finally Clarke stepped back and ran a hand through her hair. Lexa’s mouth was slightly open, lips swollen from their intense kissing.

“I should drive you home.” She grinned goofily at her own lame words.

“I guess you should.” Lexa nodded and let Clarke open the passenger door for her. She studied the blonde when she walked around the front, to enter the car at the driver’s side. She was still grinning and flexing her hands to shake out the tremor. The brunette chuckled to herself. She would never have guessed the confident woman could be so affected by her.

The drive back to Lexa’s home was mostly in silence. Lexa watched Clarke from the side, and the blonde pondered over her next steps. She stopped in front of the entrance and killed the motor but did not make any move to get out of the car.

“So…” She filled the silence.

“I had an amazing evening. Thank you Clarke.”

“Pleasure was all mine, believe me.” She replied cheekily but became serious again. “You’re truly stunning.” Lexa lowered her head shyly, and Clarke leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek. “Thank you too.”

“Do you have plans for tomorrow?” Lexa asked in return, knowing she needed to right her wrong, although the wrong felt so damn right.

“I can’t. I’m busy at the gallery the whole day till late. I’d love to see you soon though.”

“In that case I’d like to invite you day after tomorrow? My treat.” She asked hopefully.

“Ok. Sounds secretive though. Anything I should know about?”

“I’ll let you know when I’ve finalized the planning.” She winked and clutched her handbag to her body and turned to open the door. Clarke jumped quickly out of the car to help her out again. A melancholic mood replaced the satisfied feeling inside her. It’s only a day you sap she scolded herself.

When they reached the front door, Clarke linked both her hands with Lexa’s and pulled her in to kiss her gently, placing their entwined hands around her waist.

“Goodnight beauty. Sweet dreams. I know mine will be awesome.” She smiled a naughty half smile and pulled her into a tight embrace, letting go of the hands to slowly run them up and down the back.

“Goodnight Clarke.” The blonde stifled a groan, pressing her mouth against Lexa’s neck upon hearing her name rolling off teasing lips.

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?” Clarke whispered against the shell of Lexa’s ear.

“No idea what you’re talking about.” She breathed out laughingly, feeling goosebumps erupt all over her body.

They stepped back from each other and smiled, and Lexa opened the door. Before she stepped through, she was pulled once more into Clarke’s arms and affectionate lips closed again over her own. When she finally could convince herself to step out of the embrace, Lexa took a step back and kissed the hand she was still holding. “Bye.” She said, taking another step back, fingers held loosely onto each other, arms fully stretched out. “Bye.” Clarke replied and reluctantly let go off Lexa’s hand, who crossed the threshold and disappeared with a smile into the apartment block.

“Wow, what a night.” She laughed, climbing into the car and carefully reversed out of the drive.

Unbeknownst to Clarke, Lexa watched her drive off wishing again for the millionth time, that the damn article wasn’t waiting for her first thing in the morning.

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (22.15): I hope you’ve arrived safely at home. Thank you again for an exceptional evening._

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (22:23): I have and thank you too for making it unforgettable._

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (22:24): You know how to make a girl feel good._

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (22:24): Oh I haven’t even started. ;-)_

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (22:25): Why am I not surprised at your response? :-p_

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist ’ (22:25): Maybe because you wanted it to be my reply? :-D_

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (22:26): Maybe… I’ll let you sleep. Sweet dreams gorgeous. X_

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (22:26): Probably… Sweet dreams to you too. X_

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading. Let me know what you think. Have a nice week and enjoy the new episode on Thursday. See you next week. Check out tumblr htlsi10d


	7. Day 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I can't believe Jason & Co went with the fan fiction idea of Clarke painting Lexa. Hahahahahah... every second fan fiction story had that already covered. Including this one. But who am I to complain. Can't wait for the episode. But back to here - thank you all for your fantastic reviews and alerts and follows. You guys are so awesome! But enough of me and back to our two lovely ladies and a day of surprises...

# Day 4

 

Lexa woke up from a loud thud just outside her bedroom. She detangled herself from her sheets and rested on her back, closing her eyes again. The memory of last night came back and a smile formed on her lips, threatening to split her face in half. She had the most wonderful evening with Clarke, and the kisses had been burned into her long term memory. She could still feel them on her lips and taste them in her mouth. Whilst basking in reminiscence, the smile was slowly replaced by a small frown as another thud, louder than the first reached her ears.

She forcefully pulled her bedroom door open to find Anya crouching in front of it. “What the -”

“Oh goody, you’re awake.” She grinned, hiding the book behind her back.

“Well, looks like you’ve got something to do with it.”

“Tell me all about last night.” Her friend stood up, and placed the book back on the shelf, ignoring the obvious complaint.

“Um, let me get dressed? Give me some breakfast?” Lexa turned to walk over to the bathroom, when Anya grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the kitchen.

“Don’t stall. Spill!” She pushed Lexa onto a barstool and handed her a cup of coffee, before settling on the other stool, eyes wide with curiosity.

“Last night? Well, I think it’s safe to say, I might have made her…” She paused, knowing as soon as she would tell the truth she was in for a lecture about her work attitude, flavoured with the overall lack of understanding and spiced with ridicule sarcasm for being an idiot.

“Angry? Pissed? Vexed? Upset?” Anya tried to help out.

“Hopeful? Happy? Content?” Lexa offered instead.

“What????”

She cringed at the harsh reply, and quickly drank a mouthful of her coffee to avoid looking up. After what felt like a lifetime Lexa dared to raise her head and was met with a confused, but expectant expression.

“Fine!” She breathed out. “I knew what I was supposed to do, but I kinda did the opposite.”

“Define ‘kinda the opposite’.” She put her cup down, and with a serious face, added. “Please?”

Lexa started telling her about everything, from the first glimpse of the blonde when she’d picked her up to the exceptional paintings in the restaurant and finished her tale by admitting the kisses.

“You kissed her?” She deadpanned. “You were supposed to annoy her and you **kissed** her?”

Lexa let out a long sigh and nodded.

“I…” Lost for words Anya shook her head. “What were you thinking? Oh wait. Don’t answer that! You were clearly not thinking at all, at least not with your brain.” She concluded and stood up, turning her back to Lexa to stare out of the little kitchen window while Lexa got lost in the foam bubbles of her coffee. After a while she looked over her shoulder and asked inquisitively, “What are you planning now?”

“If only I knew.” Lexa let her head drop onto the counter in defeat.

# ***

Clarke was by no definition a morning person. She was usually grumpy and short-tempered before her first injection of caffeine, and even after the energizer in her system she could be quite obnoxious. Today’s morning however, witnessed a blonde whirlwind singing at the top of her lungs, dancing between her bedroom and bathroom, and laughing in pure contentment. She only sobered and dragged up some resemblance of seriousness from somewhere inside her, when she opened her apartment door to face the world. She had promised Raven to drop off the car at the latest in the morning, as it was needed to get her to the lab, which was situated in an industrial area just outside of Arkadia. She stopped at the drive-through of her favourite coffee shop, before finally pulling up at Raven’s house. The front door opened almost immediately after Clarke had slammed the car door with her hip.

“Took you long enough, Griff!”

“Geez, I bear gifts! Be thankful, will ya.” She held up her hands showing two takeaway cups and a brown bag.

“Yes!” She exclaimed happily, snatched up the bag and went back inside and over to the kitchen counter followed by the blonde. “I knew there’s a reason why I keep you around.”

“Pha!” She pouted. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Well a more important question, what’s wrong with you, cos the Clarke I know is never that…” She gestures vaguely up and down the her body, pretending to search for the right words, “chirpy” she settled on before continuing laughingly “at such a god awful time in the morning I may add.”

“Haha. You are so funny. Not!” The blonde stuck out her tongue.

“Oh no… Put that away. Who knows where it’s been?” She took out two plates and set them on the counter. “But while we’re on it, where has it been?” She grinned raunchily.

“Bite me!”

“Been there, done that.” Raven murmured whilst ripping the bag open to inspect the content.

“Oh you mean that one time, where you’d been so stoned, you thought you were a vampire?” Clarke grinned at Raven’s fake-shocked expression.

“To my defense, you said I had no heartbeat.” She huffed and added, “I thought, we’d agreed to never talk about that again?”

“Well, clearly both of us were as high as a kite. No idea why I held the stethoscope the wrong way.” They burst out laughing and touched their paper cups to drink to the memory. Taking a bite of her muffin, Raven calmed quickly and gestured her approval of the baked goods. Clarke nodded and dug into her cinnamon roll.

“Sooo? Hou dud ut gou?” Raven asked mouth full, eager eyes were waiting for a response.

“Really… really good.” She smiled and started recalling the previous evening to her friend.

“Wow, **she** kissed you? I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you, but it seems you got her.”

“Well, it was a little awkward before we left the restaurant. She kinda ran out on me with panic written all over her face, but when she came back from the bathroom, all I could see was determination as if she had found an answer in there. Whilst I racked my brain for things I might have done wrong, she pulled me in and kissed me.”

“Doesn’t matter, you got her kissing you.” Raven replied proudly, holding her hand up for Clarke to high five her. “Now you got 6 more days to make her say the famous three words.” The blonde hesitated before nodding and clapping her hand against the offered one.

“So, what do you have in mind next?”

“Don’t know yet. I can’t see her today I’m too slammed at the gallery. Speaking of, I gotta run.” Clarke disposed of her cup in the nearby trashcan and walked to the door, before stopping abruptly making Raven bump into her.

“Ouch!” She exclaimed.

“Sorry, but before I forget to mention it, Monty asked if we want to hang out soon. You have time this week?”

“Um.” She rubbed her shoulder and glared at Clarke. “What about tomorrow?”

“Can’t. Lexa has asked me out -”  
“Oooooooh…. Lexa and Clarke sitting in a tree and k-i-s-s-i-n-g…” She was stopped by a hand over her mouth.

“If you want to keep living, I’d shut up right about now.” The blonde mock threatened before snatching her wet hand away in disgust. “Yuck. I don’t know where your tongue’s been either.” She wiped her hand on Raven’s arm who leaned laughingly against the doorframe. “What about the day after tomorrow?” She asked, walking into the fresh morning air.

“Yeah, can do.”

“Cool, I’ll call Monty and O. Friend’s night at yours like the good ole times!” Clarke happily hugged Raven and left to catch the bus back into town.

# ***

“Ok.” Anya exclaimed when she came back into the kitchen after taking a long shower to think about the disaster Lexa had managed to create. “It’s not that bad.”

“Yeah?” She found her on the couch in a fetal position hugging her favourite yellow pillow tightly to her chest.

“God, look at you! Get up!”

“Let me be.”

“Shouldn’t you be all over the moon?”

“Huh?”

“Well, you kissed her. She kissed you back. That’s brilliant on the private side -”

“Yeah, she’s -” Lexa interrupted.

Anya continued, ignoring her. “It just makes it a little bit more difficult on the professional one. But we can bounce back. Oh god! Stop those heart-eyes right now. When do you see her again?”

“Tomorrow night. Aah, shit!” She finally sat up. “I need to get tickets for the theatre.”

“You mean musical?” She looked questioningly, one eyebrow raised high.

“Nope. Theatre.”  
“Ok Lex, listen.” Anya sat down on the couch next to her. “I really wanted to keep that from you, but you need to get your head back in the game. I’ve overheard a conversation between the boss and this bitch from finances. Nib & Scroll is not selling enough copies. You know the drill, last in first out!”

“What? What are saying Anya?”

“If we can’t manage increasing the sales figures, they will start cutting staff. You’re one of the last hired. Do I really have to spell it out?”

“Damnit! I need this job!” She exclaimed nervously.

“Then you need to write the article. You need to finish this assignment. Even if the figures stagnate, at least you got this under your belt.”

Dumbfounded and confused Lexa leaned into the couch and let her head fall onto the back. “I’m done. I can’t do this.” She sighed lowly.

“Yes, yes you can!” Anya patted her knee motivationally. “So, again… Do you have plans to see her today?”

“No, she said she can’t. She’s organizing an exhibition and has loads to do.”

“Ah… hell that’s brilliant.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You my friend need to use that brain of yours for a change. Get your head out of the clouds and listen closely.”

# ***

As soon as Clarke had arrived at the gallery, she was swamped with phone calls. Artists who worried about the deadline, transport companies who needed confirmation of delivery times and agencies who wanted to enter a protégé last minute.

“No, application deadline was two weeks ago.”

She nervously checked her watch. It had been two hours and she hadn’t even started to clear out and make space for the new arrivals.

“Um, it’s a little on short notice, don’t you think?” She listened to the explanation on the other end and started shaking her head. “I’m really sorry. I can’t make any space. We’re fully booked, but please contact us again for the next show in three months.” She hung up and walked over to finally start clearing out the rooms, when the door to the gallery opened and a delivery man came into view.

“Delivery for ArkArt. Um, Griffin?”

“Yeah, here. What do you have?” He thrusted a clipboard into her hand, grunted something inaudible and left to get back to his truck. “Um, such a lovely day, with charming people. Ugh!” She muttered under her breath, inspecting the delivery note in her hand whilst following him out to oversee the unloading of a statue. After half an hour she was alone again, the sculpture being the first piece in its envisaged spot. Clarke was on a ladder next to it, adjusting the spotlight above, when the door opened again.

“We’re not open today. Sorry, can you come back another time?” She hollered over her shoulder too busy with the task at hand.

“Well, I thought you could use some sustenance?”

“Lexa?” Clarke whipped her head around and nearly fell off the step.

“Woah, easy there.” She quickly walked over and held out her hand to help her regain stability.

“What…” Clarke quickly stumbled down before catching her breath. Flashes of last night invaded her mind. Lexa’s hands in her hair, her lips on her skin. She blushed deeply. “What are you doing here?” She asked, trying to regain her confidence with a forced-relaxed stance, burying her hands in her pockets.

“Um, I know you said, you wouldn’t have time, but I thought I could take you to lunch?” Lexa waited a heartbeat before adding, “I hope you’re not annoyed with me for showing up?” Clarke finally smiled and stepped closer. She took a fidgeting hand into hers while leaning forward and brushing her lips over a warm, soft cheek. “I could never be annoyed by you.”

“Oh, right.” Lexa sighed, flustered by the touch and surprised by the words. “So, are you ready to leave then?”

“I can’t really. I’m head over heels in work. But thanks for thinking of me.” She smiled sadly.

I can’t stop thinking about you, Lexa thought, but answered, “Um you have to eat sometime!”

“I know. I’ll eat when I get to it.” She let go of the warm hand and walked back over to the counter to pick up the ringing phone. She started to arrange another delivery with her back to Lexa, who nervously bit her lower lip thinking of how to proceed. When the call ended, Clarke turned around to see the brunette still standing in front of the statue.

“Listen, I’d love to spend time with you but today really isn’t working.” Lexa looked up and quickly gauged Clarke’s sincerity, when an idea entered her brain.

“Fine!” She replied putting as much irritation as she could master into her voice. “I’d better leave then.” She said, turning to go when a hand stopped her.  
“Are you mad?”

“Well, I came all the way out here to take care of you and you don’t bother.” Lexa cringed mentally at the hurt flashing over Clarke’s face.

“That’s not fair.” The blonde said calmly but before she could reassure Lexa, the door opened again and a huge canvas was carried in. Four questioning eyes requested directions of where to hang the monstrosity of modern art. Clarke’s gaze flickered between the painting and Lexa unsure of what to do.

“I get it. I’m out of your hair.” Lexa huffed and squeezed by the two people without missing a beat.

“Lexa?” Clarke called after her, but the brunette didn’t stop.

“Ma’am? This thing isn’t exactly light. Can you please tell us where it goes?”

She sighed and gestured to follow her, eyes still fixed on the door Lexa has just walked through.

It took all three of them a good amount of time to unwrap the big frame and lift it onto the wall. Clarke was glad they stayed to help her. Even in threes it was very difficult, and she was drenched in her own sweat when she signed the receipt and took the copy over to the counter for archiving. She wiped her forehead, watching the delivery truck depart, when her eyes fell onto the familiar brunette on the other side of the road. She quickly stuffed the portable phone of the gallery into her jeans and crossed the street.

“Lexa, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” She replied and held up a bag. “Conciliation gift?”

“You’re unbelievable.” Clarke laughed and peaked into the bag smelling food. Lexa grinned and looped her arm through Clarke’s and pulled her along back to the gallery.

“What did you get?” Clarke asked over her shoulder while entering the staff room behind the counter, to get plates and cutlery.

“Um.” Here goes nothing, Lexa thought. “Tofu, Anchovies, dried tomato and sushi!” The movements behind the half opened door stopped for a moment and Lexa waited expectantly for the sure sound of disgust, but was disappointed. “Really? Sounds adventurous.” Clarke came back into sight with a daring smile on her face. She had shortly debated to decline the lunch invitation but didn’t want Lexa to be upset again. Mad was the opposite of what she wanted and needed today of all days, so she pressed her lips shut and went along with the weird food.

“Ok.” She smiled back, taking the bags to follow Clarke through the gallery. They settled at a small coffee table at the window, opened the various containers and smelled the mainly foreign food, when the phone rang again. Clarke looked at her apologetically when she stood up to walk back over to the counter to consult the exhibition binder. As soon as the blonde had turned away, Lexa quickly dug into her bag, pulled out a sandwich, and bit off a huge bite. She quickly chewed and swallowed before Clarke came back.

“Sorry it’s so hectic today.” She apologized again.

“Sit down. I hope you’ll enjoy your lunch.”

Raising an eyebrow at the surprising command, Clarke pulled a chair closer and straddled it, arms resting on the back. She leaned over and took the box with the tofu to put some of it onto her plate. She repeated the gesture for the tomatoes and sushi, unfortunately not the variation she liked, but couldn’t bring herself to try the weird looking, awful smelling fish. Where the hell did she get that from, Clarke wondered. She offered the sushi box to Lexa, who took it and put it back down on the table, actively trying to not notice the way Clarke’s legs clasped around the chair, failing miserably.

“What about you?” She asked in astonishment.

“I bought it for you. I don’t want to eat it up.”

“Oh please, this is more than enough. I’m happy -” Before Clarke could finish, the phone rang again. She was just about to put her plate down, when Lexa quickly grabbed the portable unit off the table and disconnected the call. “You need time to eat.” She explained, shrugging before handing the phone back.

“What the hell, Lexa?” With the plate still in her hand, hovering just above the table, Clarke frowned in disbelieve, requesting an explanation. It made Lexa wonder if she’d finally gotten through the armor of tranquility.

“As I said, you need time to eat. They have to respect that.”

“This -” she pointed to the phone, “is my job. You can’t come in here and take over. That call was important.”

“How do you know?”

“Because, Lexa.” She briefly paused, pinching the bridge of her nose. “All calls between now and next week’s exhibition are important.” Clarke breathed out slowly, calming her anger.

“Lunch is more important.” She retorted quietly.

“It’s not up to you to decide what’s important.” The answer somewhere between annoyed and exasperate.

Lexa didn’t know how she managed, and was more surprised than Clarke, when she felt tears forming in her eyes. Before she could regain her composure, she felt strong fingers clasping her wrist. Clarke stood up and pulled her along into a standing position, placing a finger under Lexa’s chin, lifting her head. She brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face and suppressed the urge to kiss her, tears on a girls face were always a weakness of hers. The earlier resentment fell into pieces and shattered unheard on the floor.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

To say Lexa was surprised by the development was an understatement. If anyone had done to her, what she had the audacity to do to Clarke, she’d be all over the place. But not this beautiful human being, who not only apologized but also, comforted her. Deep blue eyes searched in green for the acceptance of the sincere expression of regret and Lexa was gone, falling into the ocean. Clarke succumbed to temptation and leaned in pressing her mouth softly onto moist cheeks, kissing away the tears. Time stood still. Lexa only felt gentle lips lingering on her cheeks and strong arms sneaking around her waist, pulling her in. Clarke only smelt the unique scent of soft skin under her touch and felt the brunette falling into the embrace. Neither registered anything around them and thus jumped apart at the ‘ahem’ from the entrance.

“I tried to call, but it cut me off. I wanted to drop off my art installation.”

Clarke sent a small smile and a nod the artist’s way and focused back on Lexa still snuggled tightly in her arms.

“See? All good. No harm done.” She placed a quick kiss on her forehead and let go of her to turn her focus back to the job. Lexa fell onto the chair and released a long breath, desperately trying to calm her heartbeat. She let her eyes follow Clarke’s every move, to the counter, through the gallery to show where the piece should come to rest and finally out the door to the van, where she helped unloading. She appreciated how the clothes wrapped around the musculature body and sighed more than once. She wanted to stop the charade, but she couldn’t and the reason made her angry. She hated the world which made her go against her better judgement and forced her to gamble with potential chances. She finally got up and started to clear out the awful lunch, not wanting to torture the blonde anymore with it. She contemplated for a second, if she should get her something edible, when she returned to her.

“Hey I’m still eating this.” Clarke smiled and took her plate out of Lexa’s grasp.

“You don’t have to, really.”

“No silly, you bought it for me so I’ll eat it. Come on, join me, there’s so much of it.”

Before Lexa could protest, she found herself staring at sushi rolls with sea fruits and pickled fish next to marinated tofu. Her stomach dropped in disgust, but she smiled thankfully at the gesture. Clarke had only managed to swallow a few blocks of tofu before the next delivery demanded her attention. Relieved Lexa spit out the piece of food she had dared to put in her mouth into a napkin and dispersed of it in the carrier bag. Lexa waited a few more minutes before she stood up and joined Clarke in the back of the gallery.

“You looked thirsty.” She said holding out a plastic cup in front of Clarke, gesturing to the straw sticking out of it.

“Um, can you give me a few? I’m a little busy here.” Clarke managed to say calmly although the unceasing prodding was starting to tear down her patience. She just cares, she repeated over and over in her head, whilst storing another canvas in the back room. Lexa shrugged and bit down on the straw, sucking in some juice. She turned around and studied the landscape in front of her. It depicted a small shallow stream surrounded by green trees and moss-covered boulders. The way it was structured and the saturated colours, reminded her of the painting in the restaurant, but she couldn’t find a signature or accompanying information to the piece.

“You like it?” Lexa stopped chewing, hyperaware of the body close to her. She let the straw fall out of her mouth and bit down on her lip, before slowly turning around. Clarke stood behind her, both hands in her back pockets, slightly rocking on her feet with a grin on her face. A thin layer of sweat was coating her skin and a single drop ran down on the side of her neck disappearing between her breasts. A small moan escaped Lexa’s throat and she quickly hid it with, “Uuum… yeah. It’s beautiful.”

“It’s just outside of Arkadia. On the other side of Grounder Hill.”

“You painted it.” She concluded, more of a statement than question.

“Yup.”

“I didn’t know you’re part of the exhibition.”

“Well, it’s for artists to give them a chance to show their work. Last time I checked, I haven’t been commissioned by anyone, so I’m taking this opportunity as well.”

“I can’t understand why you’re still not famous. You are exceptional! I mean look at this.” She pointed to the picture next to it. “Also you, am I right?”

“It’s outside the gallery under the train tracks around the corner.”

“I know I passed by on my way over. Clarke, this looks like a photograph but it’s a painting. It’s phenomenal. I don’t know how you do that, really.” She stopped at the third painting. “This is where I work.” She gestured at the building in the background of a street perspective.

“Pure coincidence I swear. I’m not a stalker.” Clarke blushed and walked back to the coffee table, seeing the discarded food in the nearby bin.

“I’m sorry, I let it go cold. I’ll make up for it.” Lexa only shrugged at the apology. “I’m sure you will.”

“Um, I have a big delivery in a bit though. I’m sorry.” The blonde halted, unsure of what to do.  
“Oh no problem. I’ll wait here.”  
“Don’t you have work to do?”

“You want to get rid of me?” Lexa asked faking offence, but leaned back in the chair, clearly not eager to move.

“Um, no of course not.” Clarke stammered. “Suit yourself.” she shrugged at the display and signaled she would be in the back again. Lexa nodded in confirmation and pulled out her laptop. After exhausting the idea of food, she was left with nothing to annoy Clarke any further except her presence. She looked up and let her gaze wander over the gallery, spotting the staff only door. Wouldn’t it be irritating if she snooped around, she thought and stood up. The space was very tiny and didn’t offer much except for Clarke’s jacket and messenger bag on a single shelf and some office stuff. She really shouldn’t stoop so low, Lexa thought but bent over after recognizing the sketchbook in Clarke’s bag to be the same she had with her on their hike. Curiosity overruled her understanding of privacy and she flicked through the pages. She saw lots of unfinished drawings of places like a coffee shop or a playground, before she turned the page and stared at herself. She slowly blinked her eyes, mouth agape at the details of the picture. Lexa was by no means unaware of her beauty, but she usually saw her jawline as a bit too sharp and her lips a bit too full. In Clarke’s drawing however, her jaw was beautifully defined and her mouth looked aesthetic. She was baffled at how the artist saw her. She noticed then, that the sketch didn’t look unfinished anymore. She remembered asking to see it, and being denied because of the status of the picture. Did Clarke finish it later? Did she sit and finish the drawing with nothing but her memory? It was then when she saw the sketch of her eyes in the corner of the page. How had Clarke managed this, she wondered, as she remembered she had closed her eyes for most of the sitting. The ability to capture so many details of her eyes without seeing them blew her mind.

“Um, guess you’re lost?”

“Oh shit!” She dropped the sketchbook. “Shit!” She bent over to retrieve it and in her haste lost her balance and stumbled over Clarke’s bag and tumbled to the floor. “Shit.” She resigned to her fate. She let her head fall back and gave up any fight for dignity.

“You ok?” Clarke managed between bursts of laughter.

“Yeah.” She grinned despite feeling mortified.

“You know this just serves you right for prying?” Clarke held out her hand to help her up.

“I’m sorry. I was looking for the bathroom.” She quickly produced an excuse and took the offered hand, which lifted her forcefully off the ground and into Clarke’s arms. She had watched Lexa before announcing her presence and the urge to kiss her grew so strong, she couldn’t ignore it any further. “No worries.” She whispered and leaned down to capture the brunette’s lips with her own.

“You’re not angry?” Lexa asked breathlessly after they’d separated for air.

“For what? Looking at yourself? I can’t exactly hold that against you as I’m fond of doing the same.” The artist grinned.

“Mmmm, very smooth.” Lexa laughed and pulled her back in for a kiss.

“I have my moments.” She hummed against greedy lips.

“Clarke?” A male voice piped up from the door.

“Fuck!” Clarke detangled herself from the brunette and exited the tiny space. “Hi Kane.”

“It’s irresponsible to leave the gallery open with all the new acquisitions.”

“Right. I’m sorry.”

“I have a meeting with Mr. Wallace.” He nodded and walked up to the counter, when he spotted Lexa. “Um, and you are?”

“She’s with me.” Clarke said calmly before Lexa could react.

“I thought I’d made myself clear, when I told you the gallery is not a playground. You know the rules.” Irritated, he pushed past Lexa to enter the staff room and she quickly made her way over to the blonde. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered. “Later.” Clarke hissed back and Lexa winced at the cold voice. Well, I guess I finally managed to royally piss her off, she concluded.

“If I wasn’t in need of someone right now...” He let the sentence unfinished hanging in the air.

“I’ve never had anyone with me here before and -”

“And if you like your job you won’t do again. I don’t wish to discuss this now. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” He huffed and turned to leave.

“Please Mr. Kane? I’m sorry. This was all my fault.” Lexa couldn’t just stand there and let Clarke take all the heat for something that was out of her control to start with. It was her who had decided to come by and annoy the blonde.

“Noted.” He dismissed her and left.

“Fuck!” Clarke flopped down on the floor and leaned her head back against the wall.

Lexa fell on her knees in front of her, eyes on the same level. “I’m sorry.”

“Leave it. It’s done. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” She looked into green eyes, so full of regret. More regret than needed for the situation, she thought. She stretched out her hand and softly stroked over Lexa’s lips. “Don't worry.” She pulled her in and replaced her thumb with her mouth. She couldn’t stay mad at Lexa because she didn’t want to scare her away, but more importantly she couldn’t resist her. As angry as she was, it was more due to the situation she had found herself in, than the woman it had occurred with. Completely blocking out the fact, nothing would have happened, if Lexa hadn’t shown up. She just couldn’t be angry with her. Not for caring about her, and definitely not when those sensual lips worked her magic on her own.

“You’re too good for me.” Clarke felt hot breath against her skin, mumbling incomprehensible words.

“Huh?” She tried to understand.

They separated and she found herself getting lost in deep green pools.

“Nothing. I should leave.”

“No, what did you just say?”

“It doesn’t matter. I really should go.” Lexa pushed herself out of Clarke’s arms and stood up.

“Um ok. Thanks though for stopping by.” Clarke tried to reassure, watching her gathering her bag.

“Don’t thank me for it.” Lexa replied, ashamed. This was too much to take. She’d come here with the sole purpose of getting a rise out of Clarke, and in return she’d got vulnerable gestures, sympathetic words and unforgettable feels.

“Um, ok.” Confused Clarke scrambled to her feet when Lexa quickly grabbed her bag and walked to the door. Before slipping through though, she turned back and a small smile formed on her lips, drawing Clarke’s focus to them.

“Can I call you later?” She asked shyly.

“I’m probably busy till late.” Lexa nodded and lowered her head in disappointment. What did she expect after interrupting her the whole day? She just knew she wouldn’t be able to focus without hearing the blonde’s voice and knowing she was ok.

“Tell you what.” Clarke disrupted her musing. She walked towards her. “I’ll message you when I’m done and if you still want to talk, you can call. Deal?” Lexa’s eyes lightened up at the suggestion.

“Deal.” She confirmed happily.

“Ok then. Um, take care please.” She was just about to hug her, when the delayed delivery van finally parked in front of the gallery. “Aaaand back to work for me.” She laughed out loud, and Lexa slowly slipped out of her reach and waved goodbye.

“Till later.”

She watched her until she turned the corner. It was only then that Clarke felt the exhaustion hit her like train. “What a rollercoaster!” She exhaled loudly and went back to work.

# ***

Lexa slowly climbed each step to her office, deeply lost in her own world, when she bumped into the back of a woman. She stumbled and just managed to not fall again. One time a day was enough, if at all.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you standing he- Nia!” Of all the people to walk into, she’d had to run into her boss.

“Woods? How is the article coming along?”

“Um, good I guess?”

“Are you asking me? You better put down some words for me to see. Tomorrow, remember?”

“Yes, I will have… stuff for you,….”

“Fine. Now excuse me, I’m waiting for Ms. Echo.”  
“In the stairwell?” Lexa was flabbergasted as to why her boss would want to meet the head of the financial department in the stairway.

“None of your business. Now hush.” She gestured impatiently for Lexa to leave, who took the hint and quickly ascended the rest of the stairs to her floor.

 

“Damnit.” She muttered when she entered her office to see Anya sitting at her desk.

“Hello to you too, grumpy pants. And?”

Lexa avoided eye contact and ignored the question. “That good, huh?” Anya tried again.

“I have no time for you. I just crashed into Nia and she reminded me of her intentions to come by tomorrow for a sneak peek at the article.”

“Chill out. How did it go? Did you finally annoy her?”

“Yeah, I did, I guess.”

“How did she take it?”

“Altogether, way too well. I don’t know An, Clarke is too good. Too sincere. You know what I mean.”

“We will tear her down. Don’t worry.” It was exactly what Lexa was worried about though. The longer she was in it, the more it felt like the biggest mistake in her life.

“Yeah.” She replied silently and turned her attention to the screen, a white document with an overeager cursor mocking her.

# ***

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (23:48): I’m sorry it’s so late. I’ve just arrived home. I don’t expect you to still be awake but I’d promised to message, so…_

Lexa sat up from her book and reached for her phone. She had been waiting for Clarke all night. She’d started to fear, she wouldn’t hear from her, after the disaster she’d caused today. She was just about to type a reply, when the three dots reappeared, indicating the blonde was writing again. Hovering with her finger over her phone’s keyboard Lexa waited curiously for the message to come through.

 

Clarke was sat on her couch. She had just sent a quick message to Lexa not expecting her to call as it was almost midnight. She waited a full minute without a reply from the brunette and decided to text again. Quick fingers tapped the letters to formulate another message.

_I don’t know if what happened today will have consequences for my job, but I just want you to know, that I don’t regret anything. Being with you feels right. Touching you, smelling you, tasting you makes sense and brings a serenity I’ve never felt before._

Clarke read over her words, unsure whether to hit send or not. Was she ready to admit that to Lexa? Was she revealing too much, too quickly? Sighing, she deleted the message, started again and hit send this time.

Lexa intently stared at her phone. The three dots had stopped appearing but no message had popped up on her screen. Had Clarke decided it was too late for messaging again? Or had she deleted her message, because she didn’t want her to know the content? Would she want to know what the blonde had written? Lexa wasn’t sure, she could handle something along the lines of ‘Hi, I think we should stop seeing each other’, although she knew, she was working on exactly that outcome. As an afterthought, she realized, she also wasn’t ready for ‘I really like you’ as that would make everything on her part even more tormenting than it already was. After ten excruciating minutes however, her phone indicated the arrival of another text.

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (23:58): Don’t worry beauty, I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks again for stopping by. Really enjoyed seeing you. Take care. Sweet dreams. Xx_

Lexa sensed, this wasn’t the original message, but she couldn’t bring herself to text Clarke. The message didn’t need a reply and so she leaned back into her pillow.

“How long do I have you until you’ve had enough of me?” She whispered to no one in particular and switched off her light. Sleep wouldn’t come any time soon.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo... that was annoying... or not? Let me know what you guys think! I love all your comments and reviews. Come talk to me. Oh and I've realised recently that my answers are added to the overall comment count... Why??? Weird. Please don't be offended if I don't answer anymore. I will however answer every question or comment or suggestion on tumblr (Jaansche). Sorry for that...
> 
> Wish you all a nice week and a new exciting episode on Thursday. Cheers J


	8. Day 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks,
> 
> I'm back with a new chapter. Thanks for all the kudos/reviews/subscriptions. This is the essence for all writers to keep going. Without further ado, enjoy:

**Day 5**

 

Lexa twisted and turned restlessly in her bed before she finally gave up on the idea of sleep. It wasn’t the first sleep-deprived night and she was sure it wouldn’t be her last. She just couldn’t switch off her brain. She worried how her feelings for a certain blonde threatened to interfere with her work ethic. The job was all she had at the moment. She couldn’t risk losing it, but she was at the point, where she had to force herself to push on. The previous day’s events had made it blatantly obvious to her that she had to be more of a pain in the ass to get Clarke to lose interest in her. And that was exactly the problem. All she wanted was to explore what she had with her. She wondered if the blonde felt the same pull towards her. Felt the same easiness take over, when they were together. 

She pulled out her mobile and read the latest text message again. Clarke seemed ok, if anything probably tired. Lexa hoped she could have a lie in after being at work for so long knowing the evening won’t be an early night either. She had bought tickets for ‘Kinky Boots’, the musical version of a true story about two men figuring out together how to rescue the struggling family business (a shoe factory) by creating ladies’ shoes for men. It sounded fun to Lexa, as it promised drag queens and Cyndi Lauper’s music. If she had to sit through a musical she might as well pick one, she could enjoy. Poor Clarke though, she furrowed her brows in sympathy. Maybe she could smooth out some irritation by inviting her for drinks afterwards, Lexa mused, tapping her phone against her chin. Resisting further dwelling on such thoughts she let out a frustrated sigh. This kind of thinking was exactly what she shouldn’t do.

She finally stood up from her bed and as quietly as possible got ready for work. A quick glance at the time told her Anya wouldn’t be up for another 2 hours. She slipped out of their apartment and drove to work. 

She hadn’t managed to write anything yesterday, too fresh were the memories of Clarke on her mind. She opened a new document and found herself in the same position as yesterday, staring frustratingly at the blinking cursor. Doesn’t hurt to start with the prelude, she thought.

**How to lose someone in 10 days by Lexa Woods**

**Have you ever wondered what might be the biggest cliché, the most awful quirk or the worst obsession one could fulfil or possess to reject, push away or disgust a potential love interest? I have and thus decided to explore a few myself.**

**The requirements of this self-inflicted experiment are the following: Find someone, get them to date you and then unleash the aforementioned negativities. As I am an almost awfully boring and commonly ordinary person with no quirks or obsessions, I have taken the liberty to serve the most propagated clichés and superficialities.**

Lexa stopped and read over the first sentences. Ok… so far so good, she thought and continued.

**Being late - This act of discourtesy gets a rise out of nearly every person, unrelated to their race or gender. However, a word of advice? Anything below 30 minutes can be easily excused. If you want to successfully drive your date up the wall make sure to not just be fashionably but rudely late.**

**Complaints - Whining and moaning about the smallest, pettiest and most insignificant things is high key annoying and almost always nails a ten on the scale of irritation. Although this weapon is stereotypically and almost exclusively used by the female gender – I’d like to challenge the male readers to venture into uncharted waters and report back the outcome! Warning: This method should be exploited with utmost sensibility. Neither Nib &Scroll nor I can legally be held responsible for broken possessions or estates.**

**Short-clipped answers / rude replies - Needless to say, this impoliteness borders on insolence but was one very effective method so far in my experiment.**

Now the hard part and she tried to shut off the memory of sad blue eyes.

**In order to evoke a negative reaction one should make sure to work against the hoped answer. Let’s face it readers; everyone has expectations of what the date should reply to specific questions. Denying compliments after a fishing attempt, for instance, is the best approach to tip over the balance from gratified to annoyed.**

Lexa paused again, rereading her hitherto written article. She still marvelled at Clarke’s ability to brush off the disappointment as quickly as she had done and had come back with unforeseen confidence. She herself would have died of embarrassment most likely. She shook her head and focused back on her task. 

The beginning was alright so far; she thought and saved the document, deciding to work on it further after getting a coffee. She stood up and her eyes fell onto the clock on the shelf above their workspace, and she shook her head in surprise. She hadn’t realised, she had worked on these few sentences for so long; no wonder her neck was killing her. Before she could grab her money to go across the street to get a coffee, the office door opened and Anya strolled in.

“Here you are.”

“Huh?”

She dropped her back off her shoulders and handed Lexa a Styrofoam cup. “Thought you could use that. Quite a head start this morning.”

“Thanks. That’s awesome timing. Was just about to leave to get me one.”

“No need to.” Anya plopped down into her office chair, booting her computer. She leaned on her right arm, coffee in her left hand, studying her friend. “Any news?”

“Not really. She messaged at nearly midnight and apologized it was so late.”

“Did you call her?”

“No, I was going to but her second message gave me no opening.”

“Ok. I know you’re worried about her because of the thing with her boss, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.” Lexa sipped at her coffee and turned back to her screen. “Hey, I’ve started on the article cos Nia wanted to see something today. Want to read over?”

“Yeah sure.” Anya stood up and walked around their tables, pulling over a spare chair and settled next to Lexa. After a minute of silence, she lifted her gaze off the monitor and snickered in amusement. “No quirks or obsessions? I beg to differ!” She grinned, when she received a playful slap on her upper arm. 

“No need for people to know more than necessary about me.”

“People or Clarke?”

“Well, I guess once I’ve finished the article, there won’t be any need for considerations. She’ll have dumped my stupid ass.” Lexa concluded depressingly.

“Hey, cheer up buddy. You don’t know that. Until now, she has proven to be a real challenge.”

“That’s true.” She replied with a faraway look on her face, which Anya took as her cue to continue reading.

*******

“I don’t care Griffin. Get your lazy ass out of bed.”

Clarke groaned over exaggeratingly at Octavia’s lack of understanding. For the umpteenth time she cursed the day, she had thought, it would be a good idea to give her spare key to her friend. 

“I’ve just fallen asleep.”

“Don’t mistake me for someone who gives a fuck. GET UP!”

“God! You’re like a fucking drill sergeant! Fucking ‘Lieutenant pain in the ass’, yeah, that’s you.” Octavia burst out laughing, pulled off the blankets the blonde had wrapped herself in and pounced on her, diving in for a tickling attack. 

“Noooooo! No, no, no, no, nooooooo! Get off of me!” Clarke screamed out, kicking the unwavering attacker off the bed.

“Ouch!” She fell onto the floor with a loud thud.

“Serves you right.”

“Never mind. Get up now. We agreed on training today. I’m merely here to help you keep up your stamina. You should be thankful, really!” She winked at her.

Clarke climbed out of her bed and narrowed her eyes at her friend’s words. “I have enough stamina.”

*******

“This is good.”

“Yeah?”

Anya smiled warmly at the display of uncertainty. “Lex, you’re a great writer. I know you hate the subject, but you’ve just proven you are capable of writing anything in your unique funny ‘slash’ sarcastic way. I think that was the reason you were chosen to do this.”

“Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or condemnation really.”

“Don’t be so dramatic!” She rolled her eyes at her and pointed to the screen before standing up and walking back to her desk. “Keep going. This is great.” 

“Ok. Thanks for your feedback.”

“Anytime.”

Lexa stared at the document, hoping for its necessity to disappear into thin air, but knowing she was dealing with wishful thinking, she sighed and focused again.

**Rejection - Any living creature, even the ones with an IQ of a soup tureen and an EQ of a Neanderthal should understand rejection and feel the bitter taste of being rejected.**

Well, even she felt it although she wasn’t the rejected one, but damn Clarke had used the refusal creatively and had turned it against her. Lexa closed her eyes and easily remembered the blonde leaning against her and telling her, she had wanted to kiss her. She groaned out loud enough for Anya to raise a questioning eyebrow at her antics, which she quickly dismissed with a wave.

**Surprising fun fact, (and I might have not been completely honest about my non-existent obsessions), but brain activity studies have shown the activation of the same cerebral regions when facing rejection as when experiencing physical pain. In laymen terms, refusal and denial quite literally hurt, neurologically speaking. Therefore this method goes hand in hand with denying compliments or refusing to cooperate in a certain way and should be utilized carefully, as the success of annoyance is almost a no-brainer.**

Lexa leaned back in her seat and stared at the ceiling. She was reluctant to proceed. The last drops of her coffee had left a sour taste in her mouth, but she knew it wasn’t caused solely by the liquid. She felt sick. She wondered for a brief minute if nausea and guilt were linked as well, before shaking her head at her own stupidity. Of course they were. Everything was linked. Everything and all, and fate always found a way to screw her over.

She retrieved her mobile from under a stack of papers and opened the text app again. 

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (23:58): Don’t worry beauty; I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks again for stopping by. Really enjoyed seeing you. Take care. Sweet dreams. Xx_

Lexa contemplated whether to wait for the promised call or message first. She had decided against messaging earlier to avoid disturbing Clarke’s sleep. But it was nearly 12 o’clock and the unsettling feeling in her stomach, made the waiting only worse. She succumbed to her desire to hear from the blonde and tapped out a quick hello.

*******

“Come on Clarkey-poo. You can do better.”

The women were currently running up and down stairs to the entrance of one of the numerous parks in Arkadia. Well, Octavia was stood on top with a stopwatch around her neck and a pulse monitor in her hand, yelling at her friend, who was doing the running.

“I… can’t… go… can’t… do… anymore.” Clarke exhaustedly huffed out between long gaits. When she reached the top step, she unceremonial collapsed at Octavia’s feet and wheezed and gasped her resentment.

“I can’t hear you, but while you’re down there, give me 20 pushups.” 

“Huh? Are you fucking kidding me?” Clarke managed to squeeze out, looking up in disbelief.

“Nope! 20. Now!” She lightly kicked against the butt in front of her feet.

“I hate you!”

“Not for long. You’ll be my best friend again, when you shower later, admiring your hot ass body.” The blonde resigned herself to her fate, rolled over and dropped onto her hands and feet performing the requested exercise. 

“Good. Up.” Octavia’s voice might have been off-putting to a less determined soul or friend, but Clarke knew how to take it and quite appreciated the professionalism. “How do you feel?”

Clarke laughed, still trying to catch her breath. “You tell me.” She pulled up her top and gestured to the pulse sensor around her upper body, right under her bra.

“Well, your pulse isn’t as high as it used to be after this exercise, which is brilliant as it means you’ve finally gained stamina.” Clarke jumped up and down. “Told you, I got some!” She exclaimed joyfully.

“But,” Octavia interrupted her, “it still took too long for your heartbeat to return to your pulse at rest.” 

“What does that mean?” The blonde stopped jumping and asked quizzically.

“More workouts! Come on, I’ll race you back to the gym.” Octavia pocketed her trainer utensils and sprinted off.

“God! You’re like a Duracell bunny. Where is your damn battery hidden?” Clarke took off after her. “Oh actually, on second thoughts, I don’t want to know.”

*******

“Woods! Pleasure to see you.” 

Lexa’s head came up so quickly Anya feared she suffered whiplash. “Hi Nia.” She managed, fumbling for her phone, which she had dropped at the sudden interruption.

“So, you know why I’m here. Let’s not waste my time. What have you got so far?”

Without further delay, Lexa handed her the printout of the preliminary draft and sat back down, waiting for a reaction.

“This is… well it lacks personal feedback. It’s not juicy enough. But it’s a good start. Just milk the person’s feelings and get down to the core emotions.”

“Um, that isn’t what we’d agreed on.”

“No? Well suck it up. It’s what I want.” With that she turned around and left the office without acknowledging Anya or a farewell.

“Anya. What the fuck?” She turned to her taken aback.

“Um, ok. Breathe Lexa.” She stood up and walked over to reassuringly rub her back. “You know, what she means though. She wants to read about Clarke’s confusion, her annoyance, her miserable expressions and her hurt looks.”

“I know that but I can’t do it!”

“Yes you can. You still have some days left until deadline. We just have to think of other ways to drive her mental.”

“ **This** is driving **me** mental!” She hollered, frustration vibrating off of each syllable. 

“I know.” Anya replied quietly. “Please calm down.” Lexa stood up, pushing away from Anya, too agitated and angry for her calming attempts. She walked over to the window lifting her gaze, losing her focus in the sky. Minutes passed by without her moving, keeping perfectly still. 

“Lex?”

On hearing her name, she turned around, wiping a stray tear away. “You know, after all that shit with Costia, I thought I would deserve to be happy eventually.” Anya opened her mouth but was silenced by pleading eyes. “I really thought I had my fair share of games and gambles. I was hurt so badly and now I have to be the one who inflicts the same pain? Everything Anya, literally every cell in my body is revolting against it. Not because of what I feel or not feel for Clarke, but for knowing how painful it can be.” Lexa leaned back against the window, the cold glass anchoring her in the present. When she didn’t speak up again Anya closed the gap between them and put her hands on her shoulders, rubbing down her arms. 

“Costia fucked you over. She had you believing you were it, and then stripped you bare of your dignity and laughed at your emotions. She’s an asshole. She never deserved you and you’re right, you do deserve better. No one but Clarke knows what she feels at the moment, but I can assure you, you’re nowhere near to doing to Clarke what Costia did to you.”

“Yeah, I know that. But this -” she pointed to her head “is so fucked up, and this -” she gestured to her heart “doesn’t know how long it can play the game.”

“I know.” Anya sighed and pulled Lexa into a hug. “I know.”

*******

Clarke dragged herself out of the changing room and joined Octavia in her office, towelling her wet hair.

“So, any plans for tomorrow night?” She asked, holding out her hand to get one of the cereal bars from Octavia. 

“Nope. What’s on your mind?”

“Friend’s night at Raven’s. I’d call Jas and Monty, if you have time too.” She nibbled at the impromptu breakfast.

“Sounds good. I’m in. You going to invite Lexa?” 

Clarke looked up in surprise. “Why would I? It’s a friend’s night.”

“Ah, you’re just afraid we’d embarrass you in front of her.”

“And that. Yes. Cos let’s be real, that wouldn’t be a first.”

“True. So how are things going with her?”

“You seem to be cool about it. What happened?”

“Your drawings happened.” Octavia was not someone who beat about the bush and Clarke loved that about her, but she wasn’t sure, she’d appreciate it in relation to Lexa.

“What do you mean?” She asked, faking confusion.

“Don’t play dumb. I know you.”

“Yeah? I know you know me. Still…”

“You like her-“  
“You said that already. Three days ago.”

“I mean as in ‘really like her’. Clarke I’ve seen you draw or paint in any emotional state. When your dad died, you’d painted all sorts of dark and gloomy abstracts. When your mum had kicked you out for being drunk all the time you’d painted faceless people, alone and devastated. When you’d started working at the gallery, you’d got your colours back.” She paused a moment, letting her words sink in. “The drawings of Lexa are exceptionally complex and detailed. You must have gotten lost in her to draw them and you only use that photographic style, when you’re intrigued by something … or someone…” Octavia let the sentence hanging between them. She wasn’t in any hurry. She could wait all day long for Clarke to admit what she already knew.

“That’s a pretty astonishing analysis of me.” Clarke laughed to ease the tenseness she felt. When she didn’t receive an answer she looked down at her hands and after a few minutes started to nod. “Yeah. You’re right.” She finally admitted.

“So you’re not playing a game anymore?”

“It never was a game.” She replied annoyed.

“Have you told Raven you quit the bet?” Octavia countered without missing a beat.   

“Nooo… “ She drawled out the vowel. 

“Why not? Aren’t you afraid of Lexa finding out?”

“Ugh, I don’t even know what she feels. She’s a bit like a tornado. As long as I’m out of reach I’m in awe of her, but as soon as I get close, I’m all over the place. Like she pulls me in and then shoves me away.”

“Sounds like you deserve it.”

“Wow! Really? That’s what you’re going for?” Clarke stood up, already feeling her muscles cramp after the hard work out.

“Don’t be like that. I think it’s funny she’s a challenge. One, I take, you’re eager to accept?”

“Well, honestly? I’m too deep in it to let it go.” She ran her fingers through her drying hair and released a long breath. 

“When will you see her again?” Octavia stood up as well and walked with her to the exit of the gym. 

“Tonight. She’s asked me out.”

“Where are you going?” The brunette remembered her conversation with Lexa the other day.

“No clue. But I promised to call her today. Was a little hectic yesterday and we couldn’t really talk.”

“Well, whatever she’s decided to do with you, relax and enjoy.” Octavia winked at her.

“Will do.” Clarke hollered over her shoulder already on her way out.

*******

She still held her in her arms. The times, she was the rock for Lexa to lean on were numerous. The last couple of years had left her broken and Anya was there to pick up all the pieces and put her back together. They had moved in together, after Costia had sold all their furniture and ran off with some hippie, free-soul chick. She was the one making Lexa eat. She was the one reminding her to shower. It had gotten better after a while. She had stopped being in need for pointers to indulge in hygiene. But she had been closed off. Anya had wondered if she had been ashamed for having fallen apart so completely. Their shared experiences had taught her one thing. When Lexa said, she couldn’t do it, she usually could. She had been reluctant to apply at the magazine, stubbornly thinking she wasn’t good enough. She had applied after loads of prodding and pushing and she’d liked it instantly. Anya couldn’t accept her giving up now. Not after all she went through to get where she was now. Not after all the hard work she had put into it.

She pushed Lexa out of her embrace but kept holding her close, searching green eyes for signs of attentiveness.

“You really like her.” It was a statement, which didn’t require affirmation, as both knew it was true. “I won’t tell you to choose between your head and your heart, but please consider all options.” She paused but Lexa was her stoic self. “I know you worry about hurting Clarke, but she seemed unfazed by anything you’ve thrown at her so far. Don’t risk your job on someone, you don’t know well enough. Maybe she isn’t as interested as you and that’s why she isn’t bothered as much? Or maybe, she is into you and doesn’t want to give up on you?” Clouded eyes finally cleared and a hopeful expression captured Lexa’s features. “Whatever it is, we don’t know. Your job is more important right now. Keep going with the plan. Take her out tonight. Either she’ll hate you for it and call it off, or gloss over it as she has done numerous times already.”

“The calling it off bit isn’t really convincing me.” Lexa finally whispered voice hoarse with emotions.

“Yeah but you’re missing the point. If she does, your assignment is fulfilled and you can start to win her back.” Anya triumphed.

“Oh, that sounds logical.” 

“Because it is.” She pulled her back in and gave her a crushing hug.

“When did you become so wise?” She squeezed against her.

“Ouch!” Anya exclaimed dramatically, but couldn’t keep her own smile in check when hearing Lexa snickering. “You’ll be fine.” She reassured her.

“Thanks though for setting me straight.”

“No worries. That’s what I’m here for. Have you had something to eat yet today?” At Lexa’s negative headshake, she pushed her towards the office door. “Then we’ll go and get some lunch. I’m starving.”

*******

On her way to work Clarke had agonized over the talk with her boss. If she was honest, she thought he’d overreacted yesterday. Nothing had happened; no art had been defaced or destroyed by her not paying attention for a minute. Or ten. Or twenty. She hadn’t had any sense of time whilst kissing Lexa. Thinking of it made her heart ache and caused a throbbing further south. Damn she thought and grinned. It had been a while since she had developed such feelings for anyone. Clarke reached the gallery and slowly entered, eyeing her boss who stood regally at the counter. She groaned internally at the display of power.

“Good day, Clarke.” He didn’t look up, knowing by the time it must be his employee. 

“Hi there.” She replied unaffected.

“So, about yesterday -”

“Can I just say, I’m very sorry and I’ll make sure that it won’t happen again?” 

“I heard you yesterday.” He looked at her condescendingly for interrupting him. “I thought about it and decided to let it go with a warning. Although, I really think you aren’t aware of how unprofessional your behaviour has been. Anyone could have walked in. I can’t accept such a display.” Clarke furrowed her brows at the last sentence. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not referring to you kissing a woman. I don’t care who you kiss, I only care for the success of the gallery. Unprofessionalism is the reason for the failing of a business. Our core business is providing a creative space for spirited people, not entertaining them.” She rolled her eyes at him so he added, “Just in case you have forgotten.”

She gritted her teeth in annoyance. “I haven’t.”

“Good. Now I expect no repeat performance, and if you’re busy in the back, lock the door in the front. You’re way too naïve to believe no one would come in and steal art.”

“Ok. Anything else? Or can I start doing my job now?” She snapped she had enough of the philippic. 

“You may, but take the warning seriously.” She nodded and walked behind the counter to drop off her personal belongings before heading to the back to finish her work from the previous day. After Lexa had left, Clarke had had to supervise the delivery. Due to the lack of space, (because she had been too occupied to clear out the old stuff), the whole gallery was cluttered with exhibition pieces. 

She was moving old canvasses from the walls of the smallest viewing room to the back storage, when Kane let her know, that he’d be leaving and would lock the door as no delivery was expected. She called her ‘ok’ and heard the door close a minute later. 

“Finally”, she muttered and pulled out her phone. She had wanted to call Lexa earlier but after being reprimanded she hadn’t dared to risk anything. She unlocked the device and saw a message from Lexa.

“Shit.” She quickly opened it.

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (11:50): Hi gorgeous. I know you’d said you’d call and I don’t want to put pressure on you by messaging. I just still feel bad for yesterday. Hope to hear from you. X_

Clarke quickly typed a reply and waited.

Lexa was sat at a corner table in the restaurant on the first floor of their building, picking listlessly at her food, when she heard her phone signalling a new message. She reached for it quickly, hoping it would be a certain someone. 

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (14:03): Can I call now?_

Anya raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in Lexa’s demeanour but stopped wondering when she saw the grin on her face realising who had messaged.

“Do you mind if I quickly talk to Clarke?”

“No, go ahead.”

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (14:04): Yes please._

A second after she hit sent her phone vibrated in her hands and she nervously swiped to accept the call.

“Hi Clarke.”

“Hi beauty. I’m sorry it took me so long to call.”

“Don’t be. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, got off lightly.”

“Thank god.”

“Sooo…” She laughed, not knowing what to say. She hated calling. The absence of facial gestures made it so much more difficult to gauge reactions. “I have no idea about tonight.”

“Oh.” A beautiful laugh reached Clarke’s ear and she melted at the sound, nearly missing Lexa speaking again. “I forgot to tell you. I’m sorry. I got tickets for -” A thud followed by a cry of protest came from the phone. Clarke stopped peeling packaging from a frame and waited for Lexa to say something. When no reply came she asked, “You ok?” 

Lexa eyed Anya, who had kicked her under the table to stop her from divulging what the tickets were for. “Um so yeah, I got tickets. It starts at 8:30. I’d like to pick you up.”

“You sure you’re ok? Did you fall again?”

“No Clarke, I did not stumble.” She shot death glares at Anya who doubled over, laughing hysterically. “Anyway, where can I pick you up?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“What we’re doing. If I have to dress up I’d need to stop at my place.”

“Oh ok, what are you wearing now?” Anya’s eyes went big and she whispered to Lexa, “If you guys have phone sex, I’ll leave.” Lexa blushed realising her question. “I mean, um… you know.” The sound of Clarke’s laughter eased her nerves.

“I get it. Tell whoever is sat next to you to not whisper so loud.”

“Oh my god. She heard you.” Lexa turned to Anya who grinned mischievously. “Good. Hi Clarke.” She said louder.

“Anya? Is that you?”

“Yup.”

“Shut up An and leave me to talk to Clarke.” 

She rolled her eyes but nodded. “Bye Clarke.”

More laughter erupted at the other end of the call. “Bye Anya… Soooo, about your question, I’m in jeans and a hoodie.”

“That would be ok, unless they have holes.”

“How did you know?”

Lexa blushed again. “You wore such a pair when we met in the club.”

“You remembered?”

“I remember everything.” Her statement was met with silence. “Anyway.” She continued. “I can pick you up at your place, if you want.”

“Ok. That’s cool. Do I get a bit more?” Lexa raised an eyebrow at Anya who had been listening in on the conversation and was shaking her head now miming the word ‘surprise’ and shrugged her shoulder.

“Um, surprise?” Lexa mimicked her. Clarke laughed a little uneasy, but accepted the answer.

“Ok. I’ll text you my address then. When will you pick me up?”

“Can I get you dinner before? Nothing fancy, maybe pizza?”

“I love pizza!”

“I know. Monty had mentioned it.” Anya facepalmed and shook her head in disbelief. Lexa swatted her arm and looked at her questioningly.

“Oh, ok. You really do remember everything.”

“Yeah.” She breathed out. “So, I’ll pick you up at 7?”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you later, Lexa.”

“See you later, Clarke.” The line went dead and Lexa turned abruptly to Anya.

“What the fuck did you do that for?”

“You’re really annoying the shit out of her by remembering all the tiny things about her.”

She realised her mistake. “Sorry.”

“Just stop being so fucking considerate and adorable and overall lovable. She’ll never leave you. And no, we talked about this, it’s not an option, if you want to keep your job.”  
“Ok, I have to be an asshole – tell me what I need to know.”

“What does that mean? I’m an asshole?” She only received a raised eyebrow as an answer.

*******

“Shit, shit, shit.” Clarke was halfway in her closet and pulling out one piece of clothing after another to inspect it and throwing it back inside after deeming it unsuitable. She hated surprises. She hated not knowing what was happening. She hated not being able to prepare herself. She looked over at her nightstand and blanched when she saw the time. Lexa would be picking her up in less than 30 minutes and she still had only decided on her underwear. She contemplated for a nanosecond to stay like that and see where it would lead to, but shook her head amused at that thought, turning back to the closet to have another dive in. She finally settled on a white, sleeveless dress, which showed ample cleavage. She would combine it with simple black heels and her leather jacket. She hoped this outfit was appropriate for whatever they would be doing. She went back to the bathroom to finish her hair and makeup and was ready just in time when she heard a knock.

She took a deep breath and walked over to open the door. As expected Lexa was waiting at the other side, clad all in black with dark makeup around her eyes. She looked like pure sin and Clarke knew in that moment she would surrender completely, if invited. She had to hold onto the doorframe to keep herself upright, as her knees were trembling and threatening to give way. Fuck, she thought but smiled. “Hi Lexa.”  

She stepped aside to let her in, but the brunette didn’t move, instead hungry eyes were roaming her body, with her mouth slightly agape. 

When Clarke had opened the door, Lexa was transfixed by the abundant display of soft looking skin and forgot for a minute what she was there for to start with. Anya had made a point before she had left, that the musical itself would do Lexa’s job of annoying Clarke for a change. However, she warned Lexa to not do anything her lower body would approve of. And there she was, standing in front of the woman who was constantly on her mind, looking even more ravishing than usual and she’d lost sight of all her good intentions, when caressing her body with heated glances. 

Clarke sucked in her breath when their eyes finally met. The usually bright green orbs were dark and piercing through her thin coat of restraint. She visibly swallowed and gestured again for Lexa to enter, but the writer shook her head and held out her hand. She couldn’t risk stepping over that threshold. The blonde eyed the hand curiously, before grabbing her purse and slipping into her jacket. She closed the door behind her and finally took hold of the hand hovering in front of her.

Lexa pulled her close, pressed a kiss on her cheek and whispered, “You look absolutely stunning, Clarke.” She lowered her head, slightly overwhelmed by the feelings coursing through her body and breathed in, before returning the gesture and kissing Lexa’s cheek.

“You look breathtaking. You should wear a suit more often.” Lexa smiled softly and pulled her hand to move them along to the exit. “Shall we?”

*******

A perfect date, in Lexa’s books, would have meant flowers to start with. A perfect date would have included most likely some heated exchange of kisses and touches. But this wasn’t supposed to be a perfect date. She had to remind herself though, while watching Clarke enjoying her pizza and talking animatedly about the right royal dressing down by her boss, that this was not, by any means, supposed to be a perfect date. It wasn’t even expected to be a good or nice or lovely date. Lexa was about to take Clarke to a musical and she knew for a fact from the blonde’s best friend, that musicals were perceived as superficial and unrealistic. This was the prescription for a disaster date and Lexa prepped herself for the onslaught of disappointment from the blonde in front of her.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight. Are you ok?” She nearly missed Clarke’s question, being deeply lost in her own worrisome musings. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. We should leave though.”

“Oh ok.” Clarke furrowed her brows for a moment, studying the woman vis-à-vis. “Let’s go then.” She stood up and put her jacket back on, a waited for Lexa to pay the bill.

They left the diner and Lexa turned to walk to the theatre, when Clarke stopped her.

“I’m concerned. Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yes, I guess I’m just worried about the next part of the evening.” She answered honestly, knowing it wouldn’t be long till she had to come clean anyway.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun whatever it is.” Lexa smiled at the sincere attempt at positivity. She let herself dwell on the beautiful smile and the glint in the deep blue eyes, knowing it would be gone soon. Clarke nodded and pulled Lexa out of her reverie. She linked their fingers together again and looked expectantly at the brunette. “Will you tell me what we’re going to do?”

“It’s right around the corner. I’d rather show you.” She stalled the revelation to enjoy the last minutes with Clarke. When they crossed the road and turned the corner, Lexa stopped them and looked at Clarke, admiring the billboard lights reflecting in her big surprised eyes, before realising the significant lack of a complaint.

“Did you get tickets for a musical?”

Lexa closed her eyes for a brief second before starting to nod. 

“How did you know I love musicals?”

“I’m sorry if that’s not- What?” Bewilderment and confusion flickered in Lexa’s eyes before she quickly schooled her features back into a mask of illegibility. 

“Which one is it?” Clarke’s excitement for the evening made her blissfully oblivious to the brunette’s slip in emotion. 

“Kinky boots?” It was more put as question and Lexa really was asking a whole list of questions such as ‘Are you sure you like musicals?’ and ‘Can you handle this?’

“I’ve read about it!” She exclaimed excitingly. “That’s so cool. Wow, thanks Lexa!” She pulled her close and hugged her tightly only to press her lips seconds later against the utterly puzzled and astonished woman in her arms. Lexa was so perplexed she didn’t even register the kiss before Clarke pulled away. “You really hadn’t needed to worry about this. Come on let’s go in and get the program to see who’s playing.” She pulled the dumbfounded woman along towards the entrance who after a few steps stopped abruptly and turned her towards her.

“You like musicals?”

“Yes, I love them, they’re not so deep and depressingly actualized as old-fashioned plays or opera.”

It dawned on Lexa that Octavia had obviously muddled up Clarke’s dislike for theatre plays with musicals. She tried not to insinuate intention in giving her the wrong advice. Octavia couldn’t know about Lexa’s assignment, could she?

“Well I’m glad you like musicals. Hope you like this particular one.” There was still a chance Clarke wouldn’t like this show but she won’t be annoyed by it. That much Lexa knew about Clarke and a wave of relief washed over her - alleviation for not having to upset her and gladness for being spared an evening full of complaints. She let herself finally be pulled into the theatre and tried to relax. Realising the musical would be a hit, made her let her guard down. There was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t drag Clarke out of there right? This was also not her fault, Lexa silently rationalized. She would be stupid not to enjoy a wonderful evening with Clarke. 

If asked later, Lexa wouldn’t have been able to say who was playing or what was happening on stage as her sole focus was fixed on feeling Clarke’s fingers running absentmindedly over her exposed forearm and playing with her hand. At one point she had simply closed her eyes, enjoying the fun music and revelling in the heavenly touch. 

After multiple standing ovations and encores Clarke’s voice was hoarse and raspy from cheering, sending shivers down Lexa’s spine whenever she said anything on their way to Clarke’s home. She parked the car and followed the blonde to the door. 

“I had an awesome evening. Thank you so much. That was an excellent idea.” She rasped leaning closer to Lexa. “Can I tempt you to come upstairs?” Lexa’s brain short-circuited at the innuendo.

“I…” She was stopped by a hot mouth claiming hers and couldn’t help but moan her approval. Clarke quickly utilized the nearby wall to push Lexa against it and pressed her body into the shivering woman. Hands roamed greedily over her hips and ass and she couldn’t help but open her mouth to be invaded and filled with her taste, leaving nothing but Clarke on her lips and her mind. When they separated to inhale desperately needed air, Clarke leaned her head against her chest, listening to her rapid heartbeat. Lexa reclined her head against the cool wall and closed her eyes. They stood holding each other, calming each other for a long time until Clarke shifted to look up into green eyes. Lexa’s breath hitched at the emotions she could see in the blue orbs flickering over her face and between her eyes. 

“Can I ask you something?” Clarke broke the silence and bit her lip. Lexa only nodded. “Would you consider? Maybe? Perhaps… um.” She stopped, lowering her head uncertain of how to phrase her question. She breathed in deeply and looked back up, determined to get it out as smoothly and quickly as possible. 

“Be my girlfriend?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooo.... Will she say yes? Will she say no? Head or heart? Stay tuned for next week.  
> And as usual, come talk to me here if you want: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jaansche


	9. Day 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last episode has affected me just as much as you. I'm angry and hurt how they decided to go on. I've read so many of your posts and felt the desperation over the loss. I'm so sad myself, but I decided one thing. They can take Lexa only away from us on screen. She's still alive in this fantastic fandom. You guys are phenomenal. I've seen so many awesome drawings over the last couple of month, listened to mind blowing music composed by some and read stories so creative it left me stunned. We cannot let Lexa die in our fandom. That would be truly heart breaking. So I decided I'll keep her alive by continuing to write. This story and more. I will not let her be forgotten. This strong woman, who taught all of us to be who we are and stand up for what we are deserved better and I hope and pray that many of you come back and keep her equally alive in their stories. It would be even more heart breaking if we fell apart. We are a family. We are Lexa.
> 
> So, having said that, this chapter was difficult to write. I hope some things clear up for both Clarke and Lexa and for you reader. Enjoy!

# Day 6

She did not expect Clarke to ask ‘that’ question. Green eyes widened and her mouth opened in surprise. She closed it again, unable to make a sound, her throat choking at the lump growing bigger by the second, but she still tried to swallow around it.

“What?” She wheezed past the restriction.

Clarke released her out of the tight embrace and stepped back a little, confusion written all over her face. “I asked, if you want to -”

“I heard you…” Lexa interrupted voice just above a whisper, emotions welling up inside her, threatening to bubble to the surface. Green stared into blue, and Lexa felt her heart break and soar at the same time. How could anyone expect from her to hurt Clarke, the beautiful, magnificent angel send from heaven? She closed her eyes, quickly sucked in a breath before closing the small space between them, kissing a cold cheek and breathed “I’d love to be your girlfriend if you really want me.”

Instead of an answer she felt the softest kiss evolve on her lips leaving a tingling sensation on heated flesh. When she opened her eyes she saw a playful glint brightening blue eyes. “I really want you.” Clarke rasped, and a wicked grin played at the corner of her mouth seeing Lexa’s pupils dilating and feeling her heartbeat quicken. “To be my girlfriend.” She teasingly added to her previous statement. A low growl was all she could hear before feeling strong hands on her hips. Within a blink of an eye Lexa reversed their positions, pushed Clarke against the wall and captured her hands with strong fingers lifting them above the blonde’s head.

“Fuck!” Clarke exhaled audible and pressed her hips into Lexa’s who busied herself leaving a trail of kisses along her neck, biting and sucking in turns. “Wait… Lexaaahmm…” She moaned her name loudly after a hard nip at her sensitive pulse point. Upon hearing the stop signal Lexa licked over the bruised skin and left a final kiss. “Sorry.” She breathed, voice tinted with lust, panting heavily still close enough to feel their mingled breaths on her lips, her eyes never leaving the blue orbs full of passion and desire, daring her to get lost forever. Clarke slowly shook her head, not wanting a sorry, calming her heart, whilst playing with the pendant on the long necklace around the brunette’s neck, biting her lip, she finally spoke. “Soooo… upstairs?” She surrendered to her want and echoed her earlier invitation.

“I shouldn’t.”

“But you want to?” She smiled sensuously.  
“God woman, you’re killing me here!” Lexa laughed out loud, trying to ease the charged atmosphere.

“I was planning on doing so a little more satisfyingly, if you were to let me.” Lexa swallowed hard and considered for a fraction of a second to accept Clarke’s summon to follow her up to her apartment. They stared at each other, eyes wandering from one to the other, gauging reactions and searching for indications of a decision. It was Clarke who finally put an end to their limbo.

“You’re right.” She exhaled a breath, holding onto the jewellery.

“Babe,” Lexa whispered lifting the hand playing with her chain, “if you were to let me make love to you, you would have to let me own you.” She stilled nervous fingers and pressed a kiss on the knuckles. “We’ve got time.”

Part of Lexa wanted to kick herself but the bigger part wanted to do right by Clarke. She couldn’t use the euphoria of a wonderful evening, she had originally planned to be a disaster date and get the ultimate price at the end. She had to leave, before she regretted not following upon her cravings. She took a step back and felt cold air hitting the heated skin from where she had been pressed against the blonde, further clearing her mind.

“Wow.” Clarke smiled sweetly at the sentiment and nodded. “Ok.”

“Can I call you tomorrow?” Lexa returned the soft smile and caressed the beautiful face in front of her with her thumb.

“You don’t need my permission to call me.”

“I’ll always ask.” She replied, stroking over a plump bottom lip before replacing her thumb with her mouth, kissing her goodbye.

She finally moved out of Clarke’s personal space and fished her keys out of her pocket.

“Till tomorrow then.” She waved before climbing back into the car.

“Tomorrow.” Clarke agreed and opened the door, turning back to the woman in the car and smiling one last time, before slipping into the building. When she heard the door falling into its lock, Lexa drove off with a tranquil smile on her lips.

# ***

 “I’m almost afraid to ask how it went yesterday.” Anya carefully approached her friend who was sat at the kitchen counter, performing her morning routine of sipping coffee whilst reading the news on her phone.

“Then don’t ask.” She didn’t look up.

“That bad, huh?” Anya stopped in front of the counter.

“Well, actually… I guess you should sit down.” Lexa finally looked up from her phone and patted the stool next to her, offering a cup.

“Oh god… I won’t like it, will I? Shit Lex, what have you done this time?”

“For a change exactly what we had agreed on.” Anya looked at her, confusion grazing her features. “Not my fault, Octavia had mixed up the preference.” Lexa divulged eventually. The kitchen fell silent and brown eyes became as round as saucers, before both broke out into a loud fit of laughter, doubling over.

“This is priceless Lex!” She squeezed out between sucking in air. “There you are, planning a nightmare and getting bliss. How was it then?” She settled back on the chair and looked expectantly, eager to hear all about it. Lexa leaned back as well, eyes fixed on somewhere in the distance, recalling the evening.

“No fucking way!” Anya burst out after she’d finished. “I’m happy for you, but what will you do now?”

“I don’t know. I’ll call her later and see if she has time for me, but maybe I should give her space to think, if she really wants to be with me and not some fantasy. I’m not sure, if she was only overwhelmed by the evening.”

“Um, I actually meant in regards of your assignment.” Anya brought up the elephant, she’s been avoiding successfully until now.

“Oh!” Lexa visibly sunk into herself. “I should probably find something big to make her dump me to stop this bullshit and win her back for good. This is so fucked.” Back was the melancholy in her eyes and she let her head fall onto the counter.

“I don’t know. If you really hurt her now, you might lose her for good. Well, let’s not jump ahead of ourselves. Call her and see what her plans are. We’ll think of something.” She patted her back and stood up, leaving the younger woman to wallow in self-pity for a little.

# ***

Clarke met up with Octavia at the gallery to join Raven for lunch to finalize their evening plans. She had called the rest of the gang and all were excited for their friend’s night. They sat in a corner booth in a small diner close to the gallery and argued about the logistics.

“Leave the booze to Jas and Monty and I can bring snacks. You set up the consoles.” Octavia offered but Raven shook her head.

“Leave it to them and they’ll kill us with the bloody moonshine. Remember last time?”

“But I don’t have a car, and I’m not carrying the heavy bottles all over town. You do it then!”

“Ok fine, but someone needs to help me get the stuff home.” They turned to look at Clarke who hadn’t said anything in a while resting her head on her arm with a lost expression and a dopey smile.

“What happened to her?” Raven asked amused waving a hand in front of her to snap her out of her daydreaming.

“She saw Lexa yesterday.” Octavia laughingly revealed for the blonde.

“Ooooooh, you know details?”

“Nope, she hasn’t said anything yet.”

“She can hear you.” Clarke suddenly said, focusing her eyes on her friends. “I can help you Ray, let me know when you need me.” She took a bite of her lunch and ignored the probing glances of her friends.

“How was it?”

“Good.”

“That’s it? That’s all we get?”

“Yup.” She picked languidly at her salad, ignoring the prying eyes, when her plate was pulled away leaving her stabbing the table. “Hey!”

“Spill the beans Griffin!”

“Mind your own business! You two are a nightmare.” She gestured to the plate. “Give it back!”

“Na ah… lunch for details.” Raven put the plate out of reach and resumed eating her pasta.

“Fine!” She sighed dramatically. “She took me to see a musical.” Clarke revealed, crossing her arms in front of her, slumming into the seat.

“What?” Octavia looked up from her plate. “I thought you hated musicals!”

“Huh? No I love them. They’re fresh and fun and entertaining.”

“Wow, good thing she misunderstood me then.” She mumbled under her breath.  
“What was that?”

“She came in a couple of days ago with her friend checking out the gym.”  
“And how would that lead to giving her dating advice?” Clarke was suspiciously eyeing Octavia who in turn cringed at the intense gaze.

“She just asked what you would prefer, a musical or theatre. I think I told her you’d love theatre but maybe I mixed it up. I don’t even know anymore.”

“Oh? Well, she was very insecure about her choice for the date. Maybe she wasn’t sure she understood correctly?” Clarke wondered.

“Hello? Can you not do this, it doesn’t matter? You had an awesome evening, full stop!” Raven interrupted impatiently. “I’m more interested in hearing if you had an incredible night as well?” She grinned toothily.

“You are unbelievable.” Clarke laughed, dismissing the weird information she’d received from Octavia for the benefit of sharing the rest of the night.

“You’re officially dating? Exclusively?”

“Yup.”

“Ooooh, that’s smooth. Now it’s only a matter of days to make her say it.” Raven excitedly summed up to which Octavia disapprovingly raised an eyebrow.

“Um, Clarke? Didn’t you plan to quit the bet?”

“Nooo, you said I should quit O.”

“And now?” She shook her head in disappointment.

“It’ll be alright.” The blonde lowered her head, unsure of how much of her true feelings she should reveal at this point. “I like her.” She murmured and added almost as an afterthought, “a lot”.  
“Wait!” Raven interfered again. “Are you falling for her?” Instead of an answer, Clarke blushed and turned her face away. “Shit, you are, aren’t you?” She gently turned Clarke’s head to face her. “Wow.”

“I’m not an idiot Ray. She’s just… God I don’t know. She’s amazing.”

“It started as a game but she ended up falling in love with her.” Raven concluded.

“I’m not in love!”

“Not yet.” They replied simultaneously. Clarke rolled her eyes at her friends and pointed to her plate. “Now, can I get my lunch back? I’m starving.”

# ***

It was already afternoon and Lexa still hadn’t managed to call Clarke. She felt more nervous the longer she evaded her. What if she’d awoken this morning and had realized her feelings weren’t as strong as she’d thought the previous night? Could she handle the rejection? This would be personal. It would be Lexa who was dumped instead of the journalist with the stupid assignment. She shifted in her seat, staring at her computer screen. Maybe that was a good thing. This way she could stop the nonsense, write the article and try to win her over.

“Stop thinking so loud and call her already.” Anya mumbled from her side of the office. Instead of an answer, Lexa stood up and walked over to the small balcony, to find some privacy. She relaxed against the banister and let her eyes wander over the city, before finally hitting the call button.

“Hi.” Clarke picked up after the second ring, sounding out of breath.

“Hi. Bad timing to call you?”

“No, no. It’s fine. I just came back from lunch and had to run to make it in time back to the gallery.” There was a pause, followed by the distinct sound of keys in a lock. “How are you?” She asked after closing the door.

“I’m good.” Lexa laughed nervously. “Great actually. You?”

“I’m great too.” Clarke replied with a big smile on her face.

“So, I was wondering if you had plans for tonight?”

“Actually, I do.” Her smile fell quickly off her face. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh. Ok. No worries. What are you doing?” Lexa tried to keep her voice emotionless.

“Um, friend’s night at Raven’s.” When she didn’t hear a reply, she continued. “Just a bunch of my weirdo friends and a contest of Mario Cart. Nothing fancy really.” She wasn’t sure why she tried to play it down as she really looked forward to hanging out with her buddies.

“Sounds cool.” She lost the fight with her emotions and the response came out somewhat distanced. She never handled being turned down well. It had happened too often to her.

“Are you ok? “

“Yeah. Sure. You don’t have to spend every minute with me, Clarke.” She snapped, angry at herself for feeling unable to just wish her a nice night.

“What do you mean?” The biting comment left her scrunching her nose in confusion.

At that Lexa stopped for a second to think about her next step. She hated being jealous of Clarke’s friends for spending time with her, so she tried to shake it off. “Nothing, forget it. It’s all good.” She tried with a lighter voice to convince her.

“I have the day off tomorrow. I’d love to spend it with you.” Clarke tried to reassure, feeling the uncertainty of their new relationship seeping through the phone.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I’d love to spend the day with my girlfriend, if she wants to.” She repeated; her sincerity evident in her soft deep voice. A short laugh of embarrassment about her previous silliness invades the silence, before Lexa spoke again. “In that case, I’ll take the day off for you.”

“Awesome.”

“Cool, you want me to pick you up?”

“Um, I first have to think of something. I’ll let you know if we need a car.”

“Alright then. I’m looking forward to spending the day with you.” She smiled, feeling warmth spreading through her body at the prospect of being with the blonde for the day.

“Me too!” Clarke laughed happily. “Talk to you later?”

“Sure. Later.”

“Bye.”

Lexa hung up and placed her phone back in her pants. She nearly screwed up, and not in a way she would have preferred.

“Jealous little heart eyes…” She jumped at the sound of Anya’s voice.

“Fuck you.”

“Nope. Not happening, but I know what’ll happen tonight.” She laughed, replying mysteriously to Lexa who raised an eyebrow at the cryptic answer.

“Care to elaborate?”

# ***

“Get out of my way Jasper! That’s manipulation that is!”

“It’s not manipulation you just suck at this O!”

“I’m not.”

“Ouch!”

“Kiddos, why can’t you play nicely?” Clarke yelled from the kitchen to her friends sitting on the floor in front of Raven’s entertainment centre consisting of a TV, blue-ray player and two game consoles. She turned back to Monty, who had been busy preparing drinks and grinned, whilst playing with her phone.

“Why are you too cool to play with us?” Octavia hollered back and Raven popped her head around the corner and added, “Yeah Clarke, what the hell?”

Monty lifted his hands in mock surrender, lifted the glasses and walked past Raven to join the others with the fresh cocktails. “Why are you hiding in here? Are you antisocial cos you’re missing someone?”

“Shut up. I’m -” Before she could answer, her phone vibrated on the table top. Raven snatched it quickly and looked at the screen.

“Stunning writer? Really Clarke? Wow, that’s so lame! What happened to bet beauty?”

“She changed into this gorgeous, fascinating woman and now, excuse me.” Raven laughed and made a whipping sound, but was ignored as irritation took over the blonde’s features.

“What’s wrong?”

“No idea.” Clarke held out the phone for the brunette to read.

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (20:34): I miss you. Can I get Raven’s address? Please?_

“Wow, clingy much huh?”

“It’s not clingy at all.” Clarke replied protectively. “I miss her too.”

“Well, I don’t know what to advice you. I’m sure the guys won’t mind much, but we had the rule of no partners…”

“That’s because Maya kicked your sorry asses the last time.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Raven laughed and turned to her living room. “Hey guys, Clarke’s squeeze is lonely. You mind her showing up?”

“Ray!” The blonde scolded but didn’t correct her.

“Who? Lexa?” Octavia looked questioningly.  
“The girl you took to dinner at ours?” Monty turned from his spot on the couch to look at the two women in the doorframe.

“How many girls do you idiots think I’m dating simultaneously?” Clarke snapped, annoyed to have to get her friends acceptance. “Seriously?”

“It’s cool. I don’t mind. That would make us an even number.” Clarke walked over and sat next to Monty, giving him a grateful smile.

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (20:40): I miss you too. If you want you could come over. It’s ok with the guys._

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (20:45): Are you sure? I don’t want to impose._

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (20:46): Why did you ask for the address if you don’t want to come?_

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (20:46): I never said I don’t want to come._

What the hell, Clarke blinked in irritation at Lexa’s messages. What’s happened with the confident woman who could steal her breath with a glance? Maybe she’s had a tough day and just needed some cuddling, she thought.

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (20:48): Lexa, if YOU want to come over, I’m happy to see you._

“And? She coming?” Monty stole some popcorn out the bowl in Clarke’s lab.

“I don’t know, still waiting for a reply.” Clarke checked her phone again. It’s been 5 minutes, since she’d sent her text.

“So, you like her huh?”

“Is it that obvious?” Clarke smiled bashfully.

“It is, but only cos you know, you’re safe to express your feelings.” She glanced at him thankfully and checked her phone again. Nothing. Maybe she was already on her way? Or maybe she decided not to come? Should she have offered to pick her up?

“Wow, you look like you’re weighing up a war plan in that head of yours?” Octavia pushed Monty aside and plopped down next to her, placing the snack into her own lab.

“Huh?”

“I don’t like you questioning yourself princess.”

“I’m not.” She retorted.

“Well, I know you. We had that conversation. Relax.”

# ***

“I don’t think that was a good idea. I’m nervous and afraid I’ll blow it.”

“Well, I know, but let the writer in you play her role and do her job. Relax.”

Anya ended up dragging Lexa over to Raven’s, by forcing her to put on some jeans and shirt, and pushing her all the way to the car.

“Come on, we’re here. Get out now.”

“Take me back, please. I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Perfect, try aiming for her body and see if that’ll get a rise out of her. I’m sure ‘vomiting all over your date’ is not expected to be included in your research.” Anya laughed at her own joke and got out of the car. She walked around and opened the passenger door.

“No please. Just let me.”

“You’re hilarious. Lexa, I mean it. Get out now! She’s probably worrying cos you haven’t texted back.”

“What? You’d said you would reply when you’d pushed me into the shower, Anya!”

“Ups, might have forgotten. Age related issues.”

“Fuck!” Lexa released the seatbelt and slowly crawled out of the car.

“Now, go have fun. Call me when you’re done.”

“When I’m done? I’m not a hooker!”

“Whatever… later gator.” Anya got back into the car and drove off with a wave.

“Shit.” Lexa whispered before knocking. “Here goes nothing.”

“I’ll get it.” Octavia jumped up and sprinted to the door, followed by Clarke hot on her heels.

“No you don’t.” They jostled for superiority, but miscalculated the distance and crashed loudly into the wood. “Fuck O!”

“Clarke, stop pushing me!”

Lexa took a step back staring at the closed entrance with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows. “What the…” When it opened, she came face to face with Octavia on top of Clarke, grinning at each other.

“Oh, I didn’t… mean to… disturb… you.” She slowly expressed watching the two getting up and dusting each other off.

“You haven’t.” Octavia stepped aside to let her in, watching Clarke’s eyes darkening a shade gaping at the low cut jeans, hugging Lexa’s ass promisingly. “When Clarke’s done ogling she might say so herself.”

“Fuck off O!” She stepped around Lexa and hugged her tightly. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She smiled and leaned in for a peck on the blonde’s lips.

“Hi.” Clarke repeated laughingly and linked her hand with Lexa’s. “Come on, I’ll introduce you.” She pulled her towards the kitchen, where her friends had started a marshmallow fight. “Guys?” She called out to get their attention and promptly felt fluffy sweets bombarding her face. “Hmpf. Really?” She muttered and turned to Lexa. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t!” Lexa stopped her. “It’s funny.” She picked one tiny white square off Clarke’s hair and put it in her mouth. “And sweet.”

“Aaaaaw, young love!” Raven exclaimed standing up from behind the counter raising her arms to indicate the end of the attack. Clarke grinned embarrassed at her choice of words and bit her lip in embarrassment, whilst Lexa lowered her head to hide her blush behind a curtain of curly hair.

“When you’re done making fun… this is Lexa.” She gestured to her friends, “Monty, Octavia and Raven you’ve met and that is Jasper, the chef you wanted to compliment.”

“Hi.” She waved, eying Octavia suspiciously, unsure whether Clarke knew about her asking the women for help. If she knew would she still want to be with her? Wouldn’t she ask her about it? Did Octavia know she had taken her to a musical after telling she didn’t like them? Lexa was slowly entering panic mode but when the fitness trainer kept smiling fondly at her, without any hint of resentment, she turned relieved to face Jasper. “Your food is delicious.”

“Oh, I like her already. Keep her Clarke!”

“I’m so sorry. I knew that would happen.” She apologized again and tugged her along into the living room.

“It’s ok. I’m sorry I invited myself. And I’m sorry for my outfit. I couldn’t find anything else. Anya had started doing the laundry.”

“I like your outfit.”

“You don’t think the jeans are too low? I’m not really wearing them because of that.”

“Are you for real? The jeans sit perfect on you. You look perfect.”

“I don’t know. I think, I should change them.”  
“Lexa, really. No, come here.” She pulled her back into a hug and whispered, “I meant it, when I said you look perfect. These jeans…” she hooked her fingers through the front belt loops on each side of the fly and pulled a little. “… will be the death of me.” Lexa moaned quietly but caught herself quickly. She couldn’t lose herself to the dream that was Clarke Griffin. Not yet.

“Is that all you can think about?” She pushed against the blonde and put her best accusing expression on display.

“If you look like that…” Clarke hadn’t looked up, too busy caressing the skin above the belt loops with her fingers. Lexa eyes fluttered shut at the ministrations but she didn’t allow herself the bliss. She stopped wandering fingers and lifted her head to look at her. “Is that all you want me for?” Clarke finally focused at her girlfriend and her eyes widened, realizing her mistake. “No, you’re not. I mean. What?”

Lexa wriggled out of the embrace and briskly walked towards the entrance. Before she could reach the door, strong fingers closed around her wrist and pulled her into the bathroom.

“Ok Lexa, what’s going on?” Clarke asked tiredly.

I’m just trying all clichés at once on you, Lexa thought but answered. “You don’t have to be so mean!” She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms.

“What are you talking about? I just want to know what’s happening.” Clarke leaned against the wall on the other side, giving them enough space to breathe.

“I’m just hurt you’re not interested in what I think. I’m not a slab of meat.”

“I’m so sorry. That wasn’t my intention.” Clarke lowered her head and inhaled slowly.

“What was it then?” Lexa wanted to stop and take her into her arms, but she couldn’t screw up again, and so she watched and saved each reaction to her mental list of ‘juicy additional information’, hearing Nia’s words in her head.

Clarke lifted her head and fixed her eyes onto Lexa’s and replied hoarsely, “I can’t help it, but you turn me on.”

Lexa expected anything but such an honest confession. She gulped visibly and tried to control the onslaught of arousal flushing through her veins, bundling between her thighs. Damnit, she cursed, mentally unprepared for such a revelation.

“What’s this really about?” Clarke pushed herself off the wall, having witnessed Lexa’s reaction to her words, seen her masking the response of her statement by crossing her legs. She slowly moved to Lexa and placed her hands on the counter. Flashbacks of her trapping the brunette against the car came back and she smiled sadly, remembering the outcome of the position. “I’m sorry.” She straightened and held her hands up, before running one through her hair to keep them busy.

Lexa had silently watched her, witnessing a variety of emotions flashing over the soft features and she reached out unable to stifle her need to hold her.

“I’m sorry too.” She pulled her in and wrapped her up in herself, burying her nose in the blonde’s neck, inhaling her unique scent. A flavour Lexa could smell late in the night, branded into her memory. After a while she whispered into the silence “Shall we go back?”

Clarke scanned her face for signs of discomfort but couldn’t find any. She finally nodded, still confused at the whole conversation but left the bathroom to join the others.

“Where the hell have you been?” Octavia asked and everyone looked up surprised.

“Had a little talk.” Clarke replied vaguely, still trying to make sense of the situation.

“Talk?”

“Leave it.” Raven shrugged at the response, knowing to drop the subject at that. They settled closely on the couch, to give space to the others and watched them play games while holding hands and cuddling.

“Hey Clarke? You owe me a game. I’m cashing in now. Sorry Lexa, I have to take your girlfriend off of you. You’ll get her back, promise.” Jasper pulled a reluctant Clarke off the couch and let her fall on the floor, dropping the game console on top of her. Lexa smiled at the antics, shrugging at the comment.

“Fine. One game.” Clarke settled into her gaming position, legs crossed with a pillow on her lab. Jasper pressed start and both immediately went into game mode, pushing each other with their shoulders.

“Oh no…”

“Hell yeah…”

Everyone was focused on the TV following the close race between their friends, everyone but Lexa. She was watching Clarke, losing herself in the beauty a few feet away, with a soft, content smile playing around her mouth and admiration obvious in her eyes, unaware of another inquisitive pair curiously watching her instead of the game. Raven smiled to herself upon the information she’d just gathered. Lexa might have acted weirdly today, but when she thought no one was looking, Raven found what she wanted to see.

At the end Clarke lost to Jasper, who jumped excitedly at the unexpected win.

“Finally!”

“Congrats!” She offered half-assed, her eyes already searching the green across the room.

“My turn.” Octavia snatched the device out of Clarke’s hands and flopped into her lab, making her groan out in pain. “Hey!” Everyone halted their movements and looked at Lexa who had stood up and was angrily staring down at the fitness trainer. “Watch it. You’re hurting her.” She walked over and towered above her.

“Lexa, it’s ok. I’m not hurt.” Clarke tried to smooth out the situation, pushing her friend out of her lab but Lexa kept an unwavering glare on Octavia who glared back. “That’s it. Come on.” Clarke stood up and took her hand and dragged her out of the backdoor onto the patio, away from prying ears.

“What was that?” Raven asked for everyone still too astounded to articulate the thought.

“No idea.” They stumbled over each other to watch the scene unfold outside.

 

Clarke pulled Lexa further away from the house, knowing her curious friends would probably eavesdrop.

“What are you doing?” Lexa complained against the pushing, stumbling over her feet.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to ask you?”

“She hurt you, I wanted to help you. I’m surprised I’ve got to explain myself.”

“Oh god, Lexa, she didn’t hurt me. Thanks for sticking up for me, but I’m quite capable of doing that myself.”

“Ok then. Fine!” Lexa exclaimed.

“What’s really up with you tonight? Have I done something wrong?”

Lexa lowered her head to avoid eye contact. “No you haven’t.” Clarke kept quiet, watching the woman squirm under her questioning gaze.

“What are you thinking?” Lexa finally asked, wondering sincerely what was on Clarke’s mind as she couldn’t fathom how she herself would react to a scene like this.

“Not thinking at all.” Clarke dodged the question. “Waiting for you to tell me what’s going on.”

“You cannot not think.” Lexa answered emotionless.

“I can think of nothing important, which equals to not thinking.”

“You think I’m not important.” Living with Anya certainly helped Lexa right now with twisting the words. Her friend had it perfected and she would use it whenever she pleased.

“What? That doesn’t make sense. I never said **you** weren’t important.” Clarke was more than confused and was starting to get seriously frustrated.

“Don’t answer my questions with a question.”

“God, Lexa. Really? You’re a pain tonight. Can I do anything right?” The moment the words left her mouth, she wanted to pull them back in and swallow and pretend she’d never thought this way, but Lexa had heard her and an angry glint flared within those deep green eyes.

“I am a pain?” She growled lowly, gone was the pretended anger as the words triggered emotions she’d thought she’d worked through. “Well, maybe you’d rather be with Octavia then?”

“What!” Clarke opened and closed her mouth like a fish on dry land. No further sound emanated from her body, too stunned to reply.

“Don’t play stupid. You jumped each other earlier and clearly enjoyed it!” Hot rage consumed her from inside, and Lexa tried helplessly to swallow the pain of the past, to focus on the obviously non-compromising character of the situation she had witnessed earlier the night rather than her shattering memories from years ago, but failing miserably at that. “Damn me for interrupting you when I arrived unannounced.” She spat out, willing the tears in her eyes not to fall. She sucked in a ragged breath and tried to steady her frantic heartbeat. Lexa was so fixated on calming her body she forgot she wasn’t back alone on that the cold kitchen floor, submerged in pieces of a lie she’d believed to be true and falling apart into a sobbing mess. Clarke’s words had opened a Pandora box of raw emotional baggage for Lexa. She’d come here to tease Clarke, to try out typical behaviour patterns but she’d become the victim of her own fucked up yesterdays.

Tentative fingers drew tender patterns on her arm and pulled her back into the real world, leaving her looking at the woman in front of her in utter confusion. She wasn’t Costia. She wasn’t in her old apartment. That wasn’t the reality. Lexa blinked a few times, eyes flickering between Clarke’s, trying to guess the variety of emotions within them. She thought she could see hurt, after the unfair incrimination of unfaithfulness, and guilt, for insulting her. The brunette was surprised it had taken Clarke so long to finally show her frustration and lash out. What she hadn’t foreseen, that had taken her completely by surprise, was sympathy, which had replaced the scowl and furrowed brows after the initial shock. Clarke’s eyes softened, a small smile formed around her lips and she stepped closer towards Lexa, taking both her hands and guiding them towards a bench.

“I’m sorry.”  
Due to the ministrations of the woman who meant so much to her already, Lexa felt the cold, which had captured her insides slowly leave. She leaned back and closed her eyes only to open them seconds later when Clarke spoke again.

“When we talked earlier you seemed upset already, at not being able to see each other, and later you’d messaged you were missing me. I should have known that you needed me. Maybe you’d had a bad day or were feeling unwell. I don’t know, because I’ve neglected to ask you, and then finally you’d arrived here and had to see a bewildering situation between O and me. I don’t know what happened to you before me, but I’ve never met a person, life hadn’t screwed over and spit out. I should have been more considerate.” While she talked, she caressed Lexa’s hand with her thumb, softly and reassuringly. Clarke’s eyes were trained on hers and she felt, without having to hear the words, she was the centre of her attention and mind, making her feel grateful for understanding and awful for the trouble she had put her through earlier.

“I said it once and I’ll say it again, I wouldn’t have started dating you, if I wasn’t available. I …I like you, Lexa.” Clarke quickly swallowed her almost lapse of spilling feelings she wasn’t aware she had until this second. “Please believe me when I say, nothing was, is or will happen between me and any of my friends.” Lexa slowly nodded and opened her mouth to apologize but was stopped with a gentle finger against her lips. She smiled shyly and kissed the digit, before a warm mouth replaced it. The kiss was slow and unhurried, full of unspoken emotions. After a few moments Clarke pulled away and settled against the bench and slowly started speaking. “My dad died a couple of years ago. He was…” She paused, staring up into the sky as if expecting him to magically appear in form of a stellar constellation. A cold hand slipped into hers and she turned and whispered, “Sorry.” Clarke whispered, but Lexa quickly shook her head to indicate it wasn’t needed.

“My dad...” She stopped again, exhaling a miserable laugh. “My dad was the best dad one could ask for. My parents were the greatest. Together they were a dream team, facing any storm and any disaster united and strong. He would take me to the beach and explain nature to me, whilst mum would just sit calmly next to us, smiling and stroking his arm. The love was so pure and so consuming. My parents filled me with their love. When my dad died, my mum stopped living as well. The light, the love, the warmth… everything vanished the second my dad stopped breathing.” Tears were running, chasing each other on soft skin and Lexa’s heart broke at the vision. Clarke definitely wasn’t ‘a Costia’. She scolded herself for the unnecessary outburst and squeezed the hand in hers, anchoring the blonde. When she’d started the charade earlier in the evening, she’d never have guessed, the night would turn out like this.

“So, when he was gone, I lost all love I’d known. I started drinking heavily as a substitute for the affection my mum couldn’t give me anymore, although I begged her to just hold me. It was Raven and Octavia, who picked me up at bars, when I was too drunk to know what was reality and what wasn’t due to double vision. They drove me home and put me to bed. Raven constantly argued with my mum about the situation, trying to help but Octavia held me, cleaned my mess and made me feel loved again. After a while, they didn’t drop me off at my family home but at one of theirs. At the end my mum had enough of me going MIA for days and kicked me out for good. I’d grovelled before her, begged her to take me in and love me like a mother was supposed to. She’d laughed bitterly and said she’d forgotten how to love.” Lexa was shocked and speechless. Never in her life had she thought something like that could have happened to Clarke, a person so full of love for her life and her friends. She started to comprehend the enormous patience she’d displayed the last days. Someone who had lost everything fought harder and faced challenges instead of running away or giving up.

“Anyway, they saved me. Quite literally if the stories they told me were true.” She looked up from her hands and turned to Lexa. “So, if me having a close relationship with Raven or Octavia is a problem, you and I have a bigger problem.”

“Don’t.” Lexa said quietly. “Please know you don’t have to explain yourself. I’m sorry. I overreacted. I shouldn’t have.”

“Why did you do it?” Lexa bit her lower lip uncomfortably. She didn’t want to reveal the reasons of her genuine emotional breakout. Talking about her past only made it too real and she just wanted to forget and finally move on. Indulging in the motives behind her fake ‘annoying girlfriend routine’ wasn’t an option either. She couldn’t stand hurting Clarke more than she’d done already. This needed to stay a secret.

“I don’t know. I missed you. You were constantly on my mind. I couldn’t forget last night.” She answered as honestly as she could and added genuinely, “I snapped seeing you with Octavia. You seemed even closer to her than to Raven. I didn’t know and didn’t expect it.” She ashamedly lowered her head. “Octavia has nothing to fear from me.” She laughed uncomfortably. “I’m sorry if I’ve scared you or her or any of your friends.”

“Although you’ve got quite a fierce glare, I’m sure you didn’t really. We’re all bonkers. Life has that effect. Ray is full of crazy ideas. She pulled me back to life, when I gave up living. O is the grownup, always has been really protective of us, usually the voice of reason. I just love them to bits.” She winked and clarified. “Platonically speaking.”

“I’m so sorry. I’ll apologize to her later.” Lexa smiled at the attempt to lighten the mood.

“It’s ok. Really. Stop saying sorry. This just wasn’t our night.” She smiled and let herself be pulled into a tight embrace, sharing the warmth and comfort of each other’s bodies. When they couldn’t suppress the shivering anymore, induced by the cold night air, Clarke twisted out of Lexa’s arms and pulled her closer by her shirt. “We should go back inside. I see a hot chocolate in your near future.” Lexa caressed her cheek affectionately and brought their faces close enough for her to wrap her lips over Clarke’s mouth and poured all her emotions into the kiss, appreciation, gratefulness and desire.

“Mmmm.” Clarke moaned at the touch of gentle teeth nibbling on her bottom lip and gave herself to Lexa who invaded her mouth with a skilled tongue.

Feeling trembling fingers wandering along the waistband of her low-cut jeans and under her sweatshirt sprung Lexa back into the cold night outside of Raven’s house and she slowly pulled away.

“I think I don’t deserve that tonight.” She explained breathlessly locking her eyes with dark blue ones searching for acceptance, which she found when Clarke started nodding and stood up.

# ***

“Shit they’re coming back. Raven start another game, Jas pretend to play. Monty go get some drinks.”

“O! Calm the fuck down.” Raven grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen, just before the patio door opened and the two emotionally drained, but calm and serene women walked in and over to the kitchen.

“Everything alright?” Octavia asked worriedly.

“Yeah. We needed a time out. Do you have hot chocolate?” Clarke had turned to Raven, leaving Octavia watching Lexa with a concerned scowl.

“Yeah, I’m sorry guys. Didn’t mean to freak out.” She lowered her head slightly.

Raven handed Clarke the ingredients for the drink and leaned back against the counter next to Octavia. She elbowed her lightly to get her attention. When Octavia caught her gaze Raven nodded towards Lexa, both women now subtlety observing the brunette who was watching their best friend’s every move, with an expression of wholehearted admiration and bliss.

“There you go babe.” Clarke slid the cup over the table top and came around the counter to cuddle against the taller woman.

They stayed like that until Lexa had finished her cup and called Anya to pick her up again. Everyone had settled back in the living room and were watching a movie.

“Why didn’t you drive yourself?” Clarke whispered curiously while playing with the braids of Lexa’s long hair, completely missing the look of panic flashing over her features. She couldn’t tell her, that Anya had had to force her to come here in the first place.

“Um, we were out anyway and she couldn’t stand my sad face missing you so she dropped me off.” Ok, that was true she really had missed Clarke, just not the complete truth. Lexa was getting tired from lying by omission. She sighed deeply.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” Lexa lowered her head mortified, because adorable wasn’t exactly the attribute she’d given herself for her performance. However, the writer in her was relieved for having more data to work with.

“Have you decided on what you want to do on your day off tomorrow?” She changed the subject.

“Yes, I’ll pick you up around 10 o’clock?”

“Ok. Anything I should know?”  
“Wear comfy clothes.”

It didn’t take long for Anya to return to Raven’s and Lexa bid her farewell to the gang, apologized again for invading their night and promised to not repeat it. They had laughed and assured her that she hadn’t intruded much, although Octavia gave her quite a hard clap on her back and Raven eyed her somewhat quizzically. Clarke escorted her outside, when Anya had arrived.

“It was nice seeing you tonight. You sure you’re ok though?”

“I am. Thank you for your understanding. I don’t think I’m worthy of it.”

“We all have our baggage and I’m far from travelling light myself. How could I not understand? And please stop putting yourself down. I think you’re exceptional.”

“You’re someone very special.” She leaned forward and kissed her passionately pulling her close into her arms. Her hands roamed over Clarke’s backside and dropped lower, groping her ass, when headlights flashed on and off indicated Anya was still waiting. Reluctantly they separated and walked over to the car.

“Hi Anya.” Clarke waved through the passenger window. “Sorry for that.”

“Hi there. Nice show. All good?” She grinned at the embarrassment of the two.  
“Yeah. Fine. Just take care of this one.” She lovingly caressed Lexa’s cheek who strapped herself into her seat. “It was a bit of a tough evening.” Anya turned to Lexa with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh dear! What happened?”

“Just drive us home, An.”

“Ok. Never mind me worrying. Say goodbye to Clarke.”

“Bye Clarke. Can’t wait for tomorrow.” Lexa smiled and waved and they drove off.

# ***

The friends spent some more time together, drinking and laughing and enjoying the rest of the night, before they too separated. Jasper drove everyone home, leaving the ‘post-friend’s night’ chaos to Raven to deal with it.

_Ray of light (23:16): Have you seen it?_

_Drill-Instructor (23:16): Seen what?_

_Ray of light (23:16): How Lexa looks at Clarke?_

_Drill-Instructor (23:17): Yeah, she’s crushing high-key._

_Ray of light (23:17): Good thing it’s reciprocated._

_Drill-Instructor (23:17): Clarke’s a smitten kitten._

_Ray of light (23:18): We should sit Lexa down for the best friends talk. She’s been acting weird tonight. I don’t want Clarke ending up hurt._

_Drill-Instructor (23:18): LOL. I agree. But she’s so into Clarke. Don’t think she’s capable of hurting her. But I agree something was odd._

_Ray of light (23:19): Well as Clarke said, she suspects a hard breakup. But you know, I’ve seen the emotions. I’m confident._

_Drill-Instructor (23:19): Must have been. Our Clarkey seems happy. That’s all I care about right now._

_Ray of light (23:20): Clarke deserves happiness, finally. Never thought the bet would turn out like this. I’m a genius!_

_Drill-Instructor (23:24): Hahahaha. That still has to stand the test. Night loser._

_Ray of light (23:25): Pha, you’re just jealous it was me finding her happiness. Night sucker._

_Drill-Instructor (23:25): Whatever!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this story will have a happy ending. I understand that we all need some fluff and I hope, although this chapter had angsty parts, the shared emotions helped a little.
> 
> Also, I really hope all of you are safe. I've heard of rumours one of us is gone forever. Bless them and my deepest sympathy to the family. For all others who suffer and are depressed and in need, you can always talk to me on tumblr (Jaansche). We are all important no matter how the media portrays us! Please stay safe till next Tuesday.  
> Cheers,  
> J


	10. Day 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks again for the reviews and follows, this is fuel to my creativity.   
> Next chapter is up and I subtly want to point out the change in rating. Without further ado - enjoy!

# Day 7

 

When Anya and Lexa had arrived home, they’d opened some beers and had talked far into the small hours. They’d discussed which conclusions could be drawn for the article, a subsection of annoying, stereotypically feminine traits. However, mostly they’d chatted about Lexa’s emotional unravelling. She’d been honest and had revealed lots of her raw feelings Anya had had no clue about until now. She hadn’t been aware, that Lexa couldn’t shake the nagging voice deep inside her, telling her she wasn’t good enough. Not adequate enough for the job, not sufficient enough to be loved and recently the voice had found a new subject to sneer about. She didn't deserve Clarke, and Lexa knew the voice was right. Anya had tried to rationalize with her that she had been doing her job, which she had been chosen for, when she’d treated Clarke appallingly. It had nothing to do with Lexa as a person and all with her as a writer, but she’d only shaken her head in dismissal. She’d learned so much more about the blonde in the last couple of hours and if she’d known before, she wouldn’t have picked her to be part of the scam, but that was fruitless musing.

“If Clarke is invested in someone and that can be as platonically as a friendship or romantically, she will go to bat for it till she sees there’s no love to fight for.” Lexa had explained.

“So essentially Lex, what you’re saying is, that you can’t get her to break up with you unless you deny your own feelings?” She had only nodded, too emotionally overwhelmed.

“Ok.” Anya had spoken up again. “You do know you’ve just agreed you love her?”

“I -” She’d let her head fall back and had groaned out loudly. “God, I don’t.” She’d closed her eyes and had finished her sentence in a low whisper. “Love her.”

“If you say so.” Anya had shrugged and had stood up to clear away the accumulated bottles. When she’d returned, she’d patted Lexa on her head and finished the night with a last comment. “Although the article clearly states ‘How to **lose** someone’, you don’t necessarily have to lose her. You got some neat stuff. Write about it, when you’re back in the office and see what Nia says. I’m going to sleep now and you should too.”

# ***

A couple of hours later and Lexa found herself on the couch again. She’d woken up early after another short and restless night, sitting on the edge of the seat and doing up her shoelaces. As she had no idea what Clarke had planned, she’d opted to wear a warm sweatshirt over loose jeans and her well-worn boots. She’d checked the weather forecast informing her it would be dry but fresh.

She leaned back after she was set for the day and contemplated over the possible activities in store for her. They could take a walk in one of the parks, she mused, envisioning them walking hand in hand through the colouring landscape autumn brought along. They could settle on one of the many benches and let life pass by. Lexa felt the serenity filling her again, whilst thinking of being close to the blonde. It felt like nothing bad could happen, as long as they were together. She remembered Clarke’s words from the previous night about her parents; such a tragic love story. Lexa felt her pain re-emerge at the reality that she had pushed the borders of accepted behaviour and worried and hurt Clarke in the process. Anya was right, she thought to herself. She would write up what she had till now and hoped it was sensational enough for her boss. The moment she heard a knock at the door, she stood up, grabbed her leather jacket and opened the door to a beautiful smiling blonde in black cords and boots and a blue jumper under her coat. “Good morning gorgeous.”

Lexa smiled back. “Hi beauty.”

Clarke stepped forward and connected their lips in a hot eager kiss whilst moving her hands around the brunette’s waist and into the big back pockets of the jeans pulling her even closer.

“Wow!” Lexa managed stunned after they’d separated, needing to breathe.

“My turn to have missed you.” Clarke smiled and stepped back, taking Lexa’s hand weaving her fingers through with hers. “Are you ready?”

“I am. Will you tell me what we’re going to do?” She stepped out and quietly closed the door.

“Not yet.”

They left the apartment block and Lexa looked surprised at seeing Raven’s car again.

“I could have driven us wherever you wanted to go.”

“My date, me driving. Relax babe, she hadn’t needed her car. Come on, get in.” She gestured to the passenger door but Lexa stepped towards the driver’s side, put her hand on the handle and lifted an eyebrow, waiting for her to unlock the car. Clarke pressed the remote with a questioning scowl on her face, which was replaced by a radiant smile, when Lexa opened the door and waved her to enter. “Oooh, a gentlewoman as well?” She teased.

“As well as?” She flirted back, closed the door and quickly walked around to climb into the car.

“As well as an excellent kisser.” Clarke finished their little banter and winked.

“Is that so?” Lexa picked up on the wink and added. “I can only return the sentiment. You’re not bad either.”

“Mmm, good to know. Ok buckle up, it’ll take a few.” She smiled.

“Still no hint?” Lexa asked but put on her seatbelt.

“Um, wet and moving?” Clarke answered vaguely.

“That sounds… um… weirdly promising.” She laughed out nervously.

“Does it?” Clarke grinned toothily and focused back on the road, taking them on the highway towards the south.

“You mind some music?” Lexa held up her phone and gestured to the audio cable plucked into the stereo. Clarke shook her head and a few seconds later soft music filled the car, which made her quickly glance over to Lexa who was asking if it was ok.

“I never would have thought you’d be a piano kind of girl.” She nodded her agreement.

“Well, what can I say, I love that kind of music, classical and contemporary arrangements. See, this music has its own language. It’s like telling a story of love, of hate, of passion, of trust, of lust of literally any feeling without words. Melody replaces the words we can’t express and still we understand everything. It’s doing it so eloquently with the choice of instruments and tones. A piano has a vast range, from very deep and low notes, which are strong, warm and resonate the most through a body to the high end tones which are nerve-racking, shrill and mainly annoying, but both tell a story of comfort, trust and love or danger, threat and violence. Each tune is a motif to induce a specific emotion and can make memories and feelings come alive. There’s this beautiful saying, ‘the piano keys are black and white but they sound like a million colours in your mind’.” Lexa stopped embarrassed to have lost herself in a gush of words, but Clarke only smiled at her.

“You’re beautiful when you’re passionate about something. You really are a writer.” She winked at her mischievously before continuing. “I’ve never thought about music like that. For me it’s more the release of frustration or the wallowing in pity, when it comes to it. Especially, if you create music yourself.”

“Ah, what kind of music did you guys play then?”

“Covers mainly, but all genres. If you wanted entertainment for your wedding or company party you could have called us. We did those for the money. I enjoyed the open mic nights in clubs the most. Those nights were real fun.”

“Have you ever wanted to write your own music?”

“We tried but it didn’t work out. Also, we only had one summer of really being a band and touring around a little. Not much time to explore.”

“Why did you stop?”

“Raven had to focus on her career and Octavia wanted to finally open her gym. I could have gone on but without a piano and drums a band is quite lame.” Clarke laughed and indicated to leave the highway. Lexa quickly scanned the signs and a smile started to grow on her face. She had an idea where Clarke would take them matching the hint from earlier.

“So…” she returned to their conversation. “Which art would you have preferred if the band hadn’t fallen apart?”

“Good question. I guess I’d still be painting though. That’s my real passion and what I’m actually good at.”

Lexa nodded but kept silent and let the music wash over as she was very fond of the piece playing at the moment. She propped herself up on the armrest of her door, settled her head in her hand and looked over to watch Clarke, admiring the beautiful woman. She wore her hair down and it fell into her face. Lexa reached out to put the loose strand back behind her ear and softly ran her finger down the newly exposed neck eliciting a shiver. “You’re so beautiful.” She confessed quietly. Clarke quickly glanced over with a shy smile, slightly lowering her head in the process. “We’re here.” She said putting the car in parking mode and killed the motor. Lexa hadn’t realised they had entered the carpark, too busy staring at her girlfriend. The thought of Clarke being her girlfriend made her giddy and excited.

“Ok. Wait here.” She said and quickly jumped out of the car to open the driver’s side. “My lady!” She offered her hand which Clarke immediately accepted, linking their fingers together before she climbed out herself. Strong hands pulled her into waiting arms as soon as both her feet had touched the ground. “Are we going over to Polis Island?”

Clarke nodded. “I hope you’ll like it,” she whispered whilst kissing along the prominent jaw down towards full lips, before capturing them in an intense kiss provoking a low moan to escape Lexa’s throat. She had to pull away as she couldn’t be held responsible for her actions when it came to Lexa and those sounds.

“Well I certainly liked this.” Lexa panted slightly, sucking in her bottom lip.

“Good.” Clarke grinned, trying in vain to get her heartbeat under control. Lexa had this effect to leave her a needy mess. “We should probably head over to the ferry.”

Lexa pulled her in and put her arm around her waist, slipping a single finger through the belt loop to keep her close whilst Clarke gently placed one hand into her back pocket again. They walked over to the dock, tightly entangled and after waiting for a few minutes got their tickets and walked on board. Not wanting to go inside, they decided to cuddle up on a bench near the bow.

The journey only took half an hour and they enjoyed the fresh air pressed against each other. By the time they arrived on Polis Island, the sun had come out and had warmed up the air significantly. It was the time where the sun still shined warm but the wind already blew cold. As Charles Dickens had once said ‘summer in the light, and winter in the shade’, Lexa mused, while strolling along the pier onto the main land. She inhaled the fresh sea breeze and smiled at Clarke who’d watched her. “You’re stunning.” She finally said and tugged herself into Lexa’s side, looking out onto the sea. They stayed like that until the last passengers had left the jetty and started walking again.

“What do you want to do?”

“No idea, it is early lunch time. You fancy a bite?”

Lexa nodded at the suggestion and they walked up to one of the many restaurants along the sea front. One of them had a secluded, wind-protected outdoor seating area and they opted for a sunny spot close to the sea, settling in on opposite chairs. After ordering, a comfortable silence took over, with them getting lost in each other’s presence. Blue eyes danced over sharp features and caressed soft edges, whilst green orbs drank in the beauty of gentle curves and marvelled at tender skin. Whenever their gazes met, Lexa felt butterflies exploding inside her, pushing through her whole body in intense waves, finding a meeting point between her legs. Whenever the passionate green stare fixed on her eyes, Clarke felt her skin on fire and a tingle shooting along her nerves, racing towards her core. Both kept moving around in their seats to ease the tension inside their bodies, smiling, unsure if the other could imagine the extent of arousal they went through.

They finished their lunch and soon walked along the promenade towards a bicycle rental. Polis Island was car free, the only means of transportation was either human strength or horsepower.

“You want to cycle a little?” Clarke asked. “There is a lighthouse a couple of miles from here. We could venture out there?”

They quickly picked mountain bikes to be able to overcome obstacles and sand and set off in the direction of the less populated north end of the island. Passing between sand dunes spiked with reeds and green luscious grass nourished by seawater, they constantly heard the billows melodiously splashing on the shore, enriching the air with salt.

It didn’t take them too long to reach their destination, the ride filled with small talk about their experiences on Polis Island as kids or teenagers. Lexa learned that Clarke and her dad occasionally went to one of the various beaches and built sand castles, which she would draw later for her mother who wouldn’t want to participate in the crafting process, claiming she wasn’t good at it and wanting them to have a father-daughter activity. She was quiet after that and Lexa didn’t push for more information, knowing Clarke still struggled with her past and some emotions were still raw and bleeding. She couldn’t fathom how painful it still must be for her, so she kept quiet too and enjoyed the other girl’s company amid the beautiful scenery.

When they reached the ruin of the lighthouse, they locked their bikes and walked along the beach for a few minutes. Lexa stopped once in a while to pick up a stone, turning it in her hands before flipping it over the water. She was just about to pick up another when Clarke took hold of Lexa’s hand and reeled her into her arms.

“I’m glad you wanted to take the day off.” She said, eyes flickering between green orbs and a tantalizing mouth. She bit her lip, contemplating whether she should voice what was on her mind, since the previous evening. However, before she could decide, Lexa leaned in and kissed her, trying to ease the quizzical look on the blonde’s face. It was meant as a sweet gesture, a slow reassuring kiss, but both misjudged their undeniable lust for each other and soon they found themselves panting heavily. Clarke’s hand had wandered under Lexa’s sweater and she dragged her short nails over the warm skin at her lower back, turning Lexa into a shivering mess in her arms, both hands tangled in blonde curls trying to keep her soaring heart grounded. She felt Clarke’s hand moving down to her ass and Lexa let out another of her low moans, before stopping the curious adventurer with a nip at her lip. She leaned back and found herself staring at the blonde’s face, whose eyes were still closed, breathing just as heavy as Lexa. Before she could lean in again, blue eyes opened and the sombre expression from before took over the beautiful features. They stepped out of each other’s arms and walked over to a nearby bench and sat down, a loud silence wrapped them up in its shroud.

“So…” Clarke said once she found her voice after a while. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Sounds suspiciously like a serious question.” Lexa tried to lighten the sudden serious atmosphere.

“Why did you freak out yesterday?”

Lexa quickly averted her gaze and fixed it onto the horizon above the sea. Clarke had debated half of last night if she should ask her about it. She felt she needed to know if there was anything unresolved lurking in the dark past which could come up and bite them when they least expect it. She wondered if it had been a disastrous relationship. Raven and Octavia had agreed on that theory after she’d told them about their talk in the backyard. If that was true, she needed to know if the door was closed. She could handle the baggage; hell she’d help shift the baggage around from one corner to the other until it would vanish if it meant keeping her in her life, but closure was a prerequisite for that to happen. She couldn’t handle fighting for affection again. She wondered why she’d never asked Lexa if she was even available to date, and some moments, since they have known each other, had been quite awkward, as if she was fighting against something happening between them. Clarke needed to know the reasons, so here she was, biting her tongue to let Lexa proceed in her own pace.

“I -” The brunette stopped unsure of how to explain without revealing too much of her work assignment or her true feelings for the blonde. She settled on explaining the meltdown and hoped Clarke wouldn’t ask about the other stuff that went on the previous night. “I was in a relationship for a couple of years and I really loved her. She was everything to me, and made me believe I was too. I’m not someone who easily lets people in, so it took me ages to really trust her, and when we finally moved in together and life was good, I found her in bed with another girl, when I came home early one night.” Clarke nodded her understanding, while Lexa steadied her breathing having become emotional again.

“So, anyway. She cheated on me, which wasn’t the worst, believe it or not.” She laughed disappointedly. “I had thrown the other girl out, and I’d scared myself at that moment of what I could have been capable of, if my ex hadn’t interfered and protected her. It had made me so mad but I never could have hurt the woman I loved. Ironically, she hadn’t hesitated to wound me. She called me all sorts of nasty things, laughed at me for believing in her and supporting her and really all I’d done was give her plenty of space, time and money to get pleasured by others.” Lexa breathed in a healthy dose of sea air, to calm her nerves. “She skinned me alive. She took all I was and ripped it into pieces. When she was done, she left me with nothing but an empty apartment and a picture of her and her new bitch, gloating over how much better she was.” She closed her eyes for a moment at the memory and then stared down at her hands in her lap.   
“Why was she so awful to you?” Clarke whispered into the silence, taking her into her arms.

“She’d used me. She’d never cared. She’d never loved me.” She finished effetely and both were quiet for a long time. Clarke realised she had used her in a way too, but she knew she wasn’t unaffected by Lexa. She needed to find the last piece of the puzzle of Lexa’s past, the answer to the nagging question of finality, before she could let herself explore what she really felt.

“How are you thinking about it now?”

Lexa snivelled shortly and finally let her eyes drift back over to the blonde. “I’ve accepted it.”

“Are you in contact with her?”

“No, I don’t ever want to see that devious whore again.” She burst out.

Clarke’s eyes grew wide feeling the resentment hit her full force and sighed at the realisation that Lexa still harboured so much hate.   
“Oh god, I’m sorry Clarke.” She wiggled out of the embrace upon hearing the sigh and looked at the blonde. “I didn’t mean to make you feel weird. I’m not-”. She laughed nervously, taking Clarke’s hand into hers. “I’m not in love with her anymore, I’m just still so angry, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not open to something new.” She lifted their linked hands and kissed the back of the blonde’s. “I wouldn’t have agreed to date you if I hadn’t wanted to.” Clarke smiled sadly at the recycling of her own words from earlier that week.

“I’m sorry for you though. This is an awful thing to experience.” She admitted after a short silent moment.

“Not more awful than what you’ve been through babe. Just different.” The blonde looked up at the term of endearment previously only been used by her, and all she saw was sincerity and trust in those deep green eyes.

“Different, yeah.”   
“I’m in this as much as you are.” Lexa leaned in and breathed a kiss over Clarke’s lips who shuddered at the feathery connection of skin. It was the truth and Lexa started to believe that she could do both; finish her assignment and keep Clarke as her girlfriend. Surely, she had to explain her assignment at one point, preferably before the article got published, but right now all she wanted was to be close to her. They leaned in again, mouths gravitating towards each other, hands searching for contact, for skin, for warmth. Clarke was pulled on top of Lexa and she happily let her hands wander under the sweatshirt again, skimming her fingers along the sides, feeling the breath hitching at the contact. She flattened her palms against the trained stomach and roamed over her skin, whilst kissing her passionately unashamed of her own feelings. She wanted thia. She wanted her. She trusted her. She was crazy about her. Removing the last chain of restrain from her mind and accepting her feelings, let her surrender to her needs and she slumped against the body underneath her, pressing into it, eliciting a deep moan of pleasure from Lexa, whose fingers were equally explorative over Clarke’s backside, digging into flesh and kneading skin where she could find any. When Clarke’s curious hands cupped her breasts through her bra, Lexa arched into the touch and bit down on the lip, between hers causing Clarke to cry out in pleasure. The sound startled them both and pulled them violently back to their reality. They were still on the beach. They looked at each other surprised how far they had let it go.

“Oh, wow… I’m -”

“Don’t say sorry.” Clarke interrupted her.

“I wasn’t going to. I’m speechless.”

They didn’t move, just looking for the truth in each other’s eyes, of how much they’d enjoyed it and would have taken it further if it wasn’t for their very public location.

“Right. Ok.” Clarke laughed to ease the storm of emotions inside her, and slid off of Lexa’s lap. The sun wasn’t too warm anymore indicating the afternoon had further proceeded. “We should probably head back to not miss the last ferry.” Lexa blinked a couple of times, unwilling to have their date shortened by a timetable. “We could stay?”

“We don’t have anything on us to sleep in.” Clarke pointed out. The thought of her naked resulted in a deep blush on the brunette’s face, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“I have a suggestion.” She purred, pulling Lexa up and along to their bikes.

“Ok.” She heard the breathless answer.

“Why don’t you come with me?” She stopped and turned to face Lexa. “To my place.” She was met with a radiant smile giving her the answer she was hoping for. They reached the bicycles and quickly made their way back to the pier. The sun was low, almost touching the sea, when the ferry left the island.

Lexa was stood at the railing with Clarke pressed against her back, head resting on top of her shoulder and nose nuzzling into the warmth of her neck, while her hands were slung tightly around the waist. The sunset drowned them in a glow of orange colours and Clarke would have loved to have had her colours with her to paint the perfect picture. The wind was blowing Lexa’s hair into Clarke’s face and she laughed and pulled it away, leaning closer against the other. She felt more connected and reassured after their talk with Lexa. They could make it work, she’d decided, when country music reached their ears and Clarke picked up the tune and chuckled. She knew the song. Without thinking she pressed a lingering kiss against the pulse point and started rasping the words along to the faint melody.

“I got a feelin'. My head's a reelin'. My heart is screamin'. I'm about to bust loose.” She used the short pause in the refrain to place another kiss on sensitive skin. “Bottled up emotion. It's more than a notion. It starts with an "I". And ends with a "U". I got a feelin'. Are you feelin' it too.” The low raspy voice had its effect and Lexa was just as aroused as she was earlier at the beach. ‘God damn woman’, she thought and turned her head towards Clarke’s face welcoming the offered lips in a slow, meaningful kiss. After a while Clarke started to smile into it, unbelievably happy and content with her life and Lexa left little pecks all over her face, smiling along. They settled back into their embrace with fingers caressing the other’s in slow gentle strokes. By the time the mainland came back into view, the writer was deep in thought. After talking about her past, Lexa had thought she’d seen sadness and some form of resignation in Clarke’s features, but their impromptu make out session and the little song had shown, she was far from giving up on them. Lexa realised, thinking about the previous hours, she was crazy about her, she was insanely enamoured with her. Lexa quickly cast a glance at the blonde over her shoulder, who smiled at her. She smiled back, straightened her posture and reversed their position taking Clarke into her arms, wrapping them tightly around her chest, and leaving a lingering kiss on her cheek, smiling softly against the cold skin. She needed to make it work. She couldn’t let her go, or worse, let her walk away.

 

Clarke drove them back in almost darkness. Lexa had again put on her music and they travelled in a comfortable silence until they reached their destination and Clarke took her hands and guided her upstairs. They entered the apartment and Lexa smiled shyly unsure of what was expected of her now. Clarke laughed to ease the awkward silence and pulled Lexa into the kitchen, pouring them each a glass of red wine. Lexa let her gaze wander over to the living room admiring more pictures of her artist.

“I love your paintings.” Lexa said after a while, swivelling the glass to keep her nervous hands busy.

“You can have a look at my studio, but there are mainly unfinished projects though.”

“I’d love to.” She smiled brightly.

Clarke offered her hand and guided Lexa towards a room at the end of the hall. When she pushed the door it opened to a reveal a small atelier, stuffed with all sort of paintings and drawings. Lexa stepped into the room and admired the various canvases and sketches with a soft smile on her lips. She reached out and followed the bold lines on a charcoal drawing. “These are beautiful. This one.” She pointed to the last she’d marvelled at, “reminds me of my tattoo.”

“You have a tattoo?” She replied surprised.

“Yeah, on my ribcage.” Clarke’s eyes darted to the hand following it to Lexa’s left side. She bit her lower lip, before asking, “Can I see it?”

Lexa eye’s wandered from the lip, which was still trapped between Clarke’s teeth, over her nose and met a hooded glance. She swallowed hard, but started to pull the bottom of her sweatshirt over her head, which left her in a tank top over her bra. She contemplated for a second where to put the jumper, but Clarke was quick and took it out of her hands, willing her to go on. They locked eyes and Lexa slowly started to lift the top to reveal the tattoo. Clarke’s eyes darted down when she saw a glimpse of skin revealed above the jeans and moved up in the same pace as Lexa lifted her shirt. She stopped breathing for a moment, too caught up in the flush of heat spreading over her skin. The tattoo was an impressionistic tree, with a few dark lines as branches and various different green tones creating the canopy and soil it was growing on. It sat beautifully on Lexa’s ribs.

“That’s stunning Lexa. Why did you choose it?”

“I chose it because I always felt very connected to the earth and trees are earth’s endless effort to speak to heaven. See the stars within the leaves?” She whispered, lost in the hungry look in Clarke’s eyes, nearly missing the soft nod. “That symbolises heaven to me.” Clarke didn’t move, enraptured by the gorgeous art on the breath-taking body in front of her. “When I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I used to look up into the sky and wonder if there was someone out there for me; someone sent from heaven to love me.” She laughed nervously. “Like a soulmate.” The blonde finally stirred out of her trance and without thinking reached for her. Lexa felt a tender finger following the few lines of the branches. Her eyes fluttered shut when she felt the ghost of a kiss underneath her breast, where the biggest star was visible through the treetop. Clarke straightened and looked at Lexa’s closed eyes, before leaning forward and closing the gap between them. When her lips touched Lexa’s, all reservation left their minds and tongues invaded each other’s mouths, craved each other’s, sucked on each other’s, stroked over each other’s. It wasn’t enough anymore. Lexa needed to feel her, needed the pent-up lust to be satisfied. After such a long time she couldn’t handle her need anymore and Clarke sensed her desperation as she lifted her off the ground, kissing her greedily and carrying her to her bedroom where she laid her down on a soft mattress. They scooted up the bed, Lexa reclining on her back, whilst Clarke crawled up above her, eyes never leaving each other. Before Lexa hit the pillow, she felt demanding lips on hers again, biting down and licking over the abused flesh, and she moaned loudly in response. Clarke moved on to caress Lexa’s neck and left open mouthed kisses along the way, until she felt the top bunched up at Lexa’s neck. Clarke quickly sat up and took off Lexa’s shirt in a quick move as well as her own sweatshirt, before descending once more and sucking at the newly exposed skin above firm breasts. Lexa threw her head back into the pillow when a wave of pleasure coursed through her body and another moan escaped her throat. She tried to keep her body still but when a warm hand pushed under her laced garment and skilled fingers closed around a pert nipple, she soared off the bed and into the touch. It really had been too long since she had felt someone devoting their attention to her body and soul. Clarke used the short moment and opened the bra clasp, before Lexa fell back onto the sheets and slowly caressed the skin of her arms in an upward movement, dragging her nails over shivering skin, until she reached her shoulders and slid down the bra straps with her fingertips, leaving the woman beneath her panting and trembling. She took the clothing and discarded it carelessly over her shoulder, before lowering her head to finally suck one aroused peak between her lips and gently bit down on it to only soothe it seconds later, with a slow lick of her flattened tongue. A primeval growl filled the apartment, and Clarke whimpered at hearing it. Before she could take the swollen tip back into her mouth, she felt her own bra sliding down her arms and two warm hands cupping her hardened mounds in a gentle grasp and kneading the sensitive flesh. Momentarily distracted, Lexa used her chance and inversed their positions, straddling Clarke. She paused to take in the half naked woman, pushing eager hands down into the mattress. Her face was flushed in arousal, her pink lips swollen from kissing, the vein in her neck throbbed exquisitely and her beautifully full breasts were heaving in pants. A smile started at the corner of Lexa’s mouth while she slowly lowered herself, keeping insatiable hands in a tight but not painful grip. She let her upper body softly touch the skin on Clarke’s stomach before sliding her breasts in a slow tortures movement along the blonde’s body, whilst licking the skin with a long stroke from her navel to her neck before whispering into her ear, “Let me own you, Clarke.” She rolled the name in the same tantalizing, scandalously stimulating way she’d done before, and the reaction wasn’t long in coming as eyes rolled back and Clarke arched up into Lexa’s body, begging her to take her, possess her, claim her. Understanding the signal, she released the hands, knowing she wouldn’t interfere for now and moved off Clarke’s body, opening the buttons of the pants and in a swift move slid them off long muscled legs. Before settling back down, Lexa got up and slowly opened one button after another on her own jeans, before turning her back towards Clarke and bending over whilst sliding her hands along her own thighs, pushing the jeans down. She stepped out of the pool of fabric at her feet, and when she glanced over her shoulder at Clarke she caught the lustful prurient look sent her way and she let out another deep grumble whilst licking her lips in anticipation. She climbed back onto the bed and fixed Clarke with a lascivious gaze before taking the last remaining garment between her teeth and slowly dragging it down and off of her, whilst not breaking eye contact.

Finally, she leaned down again and left heated kisses on the inside of strong thighs, splaying them, whilst moving towards the throbbing centre. She looked up one last time, rendered speechless by the darkness of Clarke’s eyes, before closing her own and taking the glistening flesh into her mouth. Both women moaned loudly at the first contact, Clarke out of pleasure and Lexa out of satisfaction at the incredibly sweet taste of the blonde. She lapped the wetness into her mouth and let her tongue move over the length of the cleft between her legs. Lexa nearly came undone when she felt soft hands weaving through her hair and pushing her down in desperation for more friction. She stopped teasing and focused her oral ministrations on pleasuring Clarke, flattening her tongue against the nub and sucking it into her mouth. Before long Lexa felt her moving erratically underneath her, pressing herself into her mouth and she knew Clarke was close. She moved one hand up the side of the blonde’s body and cupped the breast she could find, teasing the nipple while gently entering her with the other.

“Fuck!” Clarke grinded down hard onto Lexa’s hand and mouth and within seconds she completely lost control and screamed out her orgasm while the brunette helped her ride it out, sucking and curling her fingers. The movement slowly came to a stop and Clarke’s grip of Lexa’s hair loosened. She softly tugged at a strand, asking her to stop. Lexa looked up, a big smile on her face, licking Clarke off her lips and fingers before carefully sliding up the body. She lowered herself between her legs and pulled Clarke into a soaring kiss while pushing hard against her. She was stopped in her movement by a vicelike clasp of legs around her pelvis. She sucked in the lower lips and bit down in surprise before releasing the overused flesh with a questioning look on her face.

“My turn.” Clarke rasped out, voice laced with emotions and post-orgasm smoothness. She let her free and with one quick push rolled her over, hovering above her, drinking in the lust and need visible in the fully dilated orbs which drove her crazy. She quickly discarded Lexa’s panties and stopped for a moment to take in the slick proof of her arousal, biting her lip before going down on her and sucking the pulsating core into her greedy mouth, lapping up the wetness elicited by her. Within minutes Lexa started writhing uncontrollably under the focused touch of Clarke’s tongue and with one last condensed suck on her bundle of nerves she came hard into her mouth. “Shit.” She panted breathlessly, seeing stars.

Clarke silently moved up the sweat covered body, mingling their dampness before replacing it slowly with two fingers. Lexa’s eyes shot closed and she gasped at the overwhelming sensation, inadvertently trapping Clarke’s hand between her legs. The blonde settled down next to Lexa, taking one earlobe gently between her teeth and mumbling quietly, “It’s ok baby. Let me love you.” She shifted again and leaned over Lexa to leave tingling kisses on her lips and skin before claiming her mouth passionately, feeling the other respond fervently and open up for her again. She set a slow pace, watching Lexa getting worked up with each stroke and curl of her fingers. She enjoyed watching her open her mouth now and then, releasing a long drawn out moan, and sounding suspiciously like her name. She picked up the pace after a while not wanting to tease her too much, and when she felt the walls around her fingers tightening and the moans and growls becoming more frequent and louder, she whispered, “Open your eyes Lexa. I want you to look at me when you’re coming for me.” They locked eyes and within seconds she came explosively again with an uninhibited cry of satisfaction under the inquisitive, focused stare of her lover. Clarke guided her through each uncontrollable, shuddering contraction and prolonged the ultimate satisfaction as long as Lexa could take it, before she stilled her hand. Clarke waited watching her regain control of her breathing, before she gentle extracted herself and pulled Lexa into her arms with her face coming to rest in the crock of the blonde’s neck. They didn’t say a word, satisfied in their after sex bliss and content with each other in a tight embrace. Lexa felt Clarke’s fingers absentmindedly tracing up and down her spine causing goose bumps to erupt all over her body. She looked up and felt drawn into blue eyes full of passion. She smiled and placed a tender kiss on swollen lips before settling again and closing her eyes. They stayed like that for a long while, before Clarke spoke up into the darkness surrounding them as night had taken residency.

“Lexa? Are you awake?”

“Mmmm.” The brunette stirred out of her love induced slumber and propped herself up.

“Are you free on Friday night?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I have anything planned. Why?”

“I’d like you to come to the exhibition at the gallery if you want to? As my date?”

“Oh? This Friday?” Clarke nodded. “Yes, sure. It’ll be my pleasure to be there for you. With you.” She snaked her fingers through Clarke’s wild mane and tucked at her neck, at the same time leaning up to capture the blonde’s lips in a slow kiss full of unvoiced promises.

They fell asleep a short while later and when Lexa woke again in the early morning hours, Clarke had turned on her tummy, sprawled out over the sheets. She smiled at the display and her eyes soaked up the dips and curves of the tantalizing body. As she sat still, watching her sleep peacefully, Lexa finally understood the feeling deep inside her. She leaned down to leave the softest of kisses on the blonde’s cheek, marvelling at the smoothness of the skin under her lips, before settling against her sleeping form. ‘I love you’, she thought before closing her eyes again, surrendering to sleep.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooo... it happened.
> 
> For everyone who wants to know how Polis Island looks like or Lexa's tattoo - I recommend you jump over to my tumblr (Jaansche) or check out the tumblr tag htlsi10d. And as usual, please let me know what you think. Have a nice week. See you next Tuesday. Cheers, J


	11. Day 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, day, evening & night my lovely readers. Thank you again for your feedback to the last chapter. I'm happy you liked it as it is always challenging to write about intimacy without being tacky. Thanks as well to my proofreader. She's fab!
> 
> So, we are facing day 8 of this little journey. The chapter is shorter than the usual but you'll see why. Without further ado - enjoy!

# Day 8

 

She turned without opening her eyes towards the bright gleam of light breaking the darkness of her bedroom past her heavy curtains which weren’t closed. She revelled in the warmth provided by the sun on her face and the body close to hers. She could smell her, the faint perfume which reminded her of forest and grass in combination with the unique scent of sweet skin. Without much difficulty she could still feel her on her, around her and in her, all-consuming and everywhere. It sparked the need deep within her, but she knew they had time. This was only the beginning. The beginning of something? Or everything?  
Clarke finally opened her eyes which gravitated automatically to the serene face of bliss and happiness close to her. Even if she wanted to, which she didn’t, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Lexa. The unfathomable magnificence and ravishing beauty kept her captured, slowed time and space around her, left her breathless. How on earth did she deserve someone like her? It’s not the first time she’d wondered about that, but another thought, very much a premier notion shot through her, curling at her feet and bouncing back, settling deep in her heart, spreading a warmth and profound satisfaction. She finally acknowledged the feeling, and a blush spread over her cheeks and a cheesy happy grin took over her mused features. I love her, Clarke let herself think. I really do, she confirmed to no one but herself, biting her tongue to not spill her feelings into the silent confinements of her bedroom. She’d tell her at the exhibition Clarke decided and another thought crossed her mind. She had two days left to make Lexa say exactly the three words she herself wanted to say to her. And suddenly she understood Octavia. Understood how awful the bet really was. She couldn’t tell her she loved her and hear it back for the sake of winning. Not anymore. She wanted to tell Lexa because she felt that way and she wanted to hear it back, because she felt that way. As silently as possible Clarke slipped out of the bed, put on a loose fitting long shirt and left the bedroom on soft feet. She padded over to the kitchen to retrieve her mobile. With one last glance at the sleeping woman in her bed she sent a message and started to create breakfast.

 

The smell of freshly brewed coffee invaded her dream and morphed her sun induced fleecy clouded sky into a dark storm, twister-roughed mass leaving her wondering of what happened until strips of bacon danced along the tornado front and she started laughing, still not really awake at the absurdity of the dream. Clarke lifted an amused eyebrow and stopped the stirring motion of the coffee drowning out the clinking sound of the spoon.

“Lexa? Babe?” She cooed, hoping to wake her.

“Mmmmm… 5 more minutes.” She complained with a sweet smile on her full lips and Clarke leaned in to kiss them softly. Only a second went by before she felt Lexa responding, kissing her back with a soft tongue sliding over her lower lip. Clarke moaned quietly partly due to the smoothness of the muscle but more so due to the memory of what that particular body part was capable of. Half aware of the hot cup in her hand she slowed the kiss down and pecked a kiss on the forming pout.

“I brought you coffee and unless you’re into pain I recommend you stop what you’re doing.” She breathed out, trying to calm her racing heart.

“Oh?” Lexa opened her eyes finally and stared into darkened blue orbs in front of her, grinning happily. “Thanks gorgeous.” She settled on her back, pulling up the sheets to cover her nakedness before stretching out her arm to accept the mug. She sighed at the contact of the hot liquid in her mouth, eyes racking over long naked legs wondering how much more clothes Clarke had put on. Or not. “I can smell bacon. Resulted in a really weird twist in my dream.” She said after a few more gulps.

“I might have also made you breakfast.” Clarke smiled shyly.

“Really? Wow, I’ll keep you!” She laughed, discarded her half empty cup onto the floor and pointed to the one in the blonde’s hand.

“What?” Clarke let her take the ceramic out of her grasp and observed her repeating the same movement placing it on the ground. Lexa returned to her earlier position, not bothering to cover up this time and pulled her onto her.

“I want to thank you for making me breakfast.” She whispered, already pulling her down into a searing kiss letting her hands and mouth do the talking. Her fingers wandered along creamy smooth thighs lifting the shirt and taking it off, leaving the blonde just as naked as her, before turning them over and settling between those fabulous legs once more. It didn’t take long for Clarke to be on the edge of pleasure again and she willingly abandoned any breakfast plans in favour of this. Hands greedily kneaded soft flesh, lips hungrily sucked in the bundle of nerves, and Lexa devoured her completely. Not leaving a single part untouched, unloved or unattended. With a long animalistic moan the blonde finally let go and stepped over the border into free fall. Her body shuddered at the intensity of her orgasm and Lexa marvelled at witnessing her coming undone so undeniably, staying where she was breathing in the wonderful fragrance of arousal and release.

After a few minutes of silence a low chuckle escaped into the room and Lexa looked up to see Clarke watching her with a satisfied smirk.

“If that’s your thanks for breakfast, I’m going to make it every day from now on.” She grinned and let her head fall back onto the pillow. Lexa finally abandoned her favourite position and pushed herself up to leave a kiss on parted lips while soft laughter engulfed the pair. Lexa would happily love Clarke for the rest of her life. Even without getting food. The thought of breakfast however let her stomach growl in anticipation.

“Someone’s hungry?” Came the prompt question whispered against the soft skin on her neck and Lexa shivered.

“I had lots of protein already.” She smirked, waiting for a reaction, which came in the form of a huff and a slap against her thigh.

“Very funny. That won’t last. Come on. We haven’t eaten anything since lunchtime yesterday. Besides each other that is.” They locked eyes and smiled naughtily at the statement.

“I’m happy with more of you.” Lexa pushed herself up and straddled the lithe body underneath her.

“Wow, really? You just had more. If at all it’ll be me eating you.” The brunette moaned at the words, shifted slightly to grind onto Clarke’s thigh, sliding her wet centre against the strong muscle. She whimpered in protest when the leg relaxed only to feel pushed further up. It took Lexa a second until she realised what Clarke wanted her to do.

“I mean it. I want you on my face.” Clarke reassured and pushed Lexa’s ass further along her body until she slowly settled down, carefully to not suffocate her lover. The first contact was so powerful Lexa saw stars exploding in front of her eyes and the tension built up inside of her like boiling water in a kettle. Slowly from her stomach to her thighs, circling like a burning sensation through her body, before it centred between her legs and stayed, getting more intense with each stroke of the talented tongue and every moan against her awakened nub, and she came just as hard as the night before, leaving her utterly breathless and numb without control of her heart or limbs. She slid off Clarke’s body, her head unceremoniously hitting the pillow, legs non-functional half over the blonde’s body and half on the bed.

“Wow!” She breathed out after a few moments of regaining control over her body and felt gentle fingertips caressing the soft skin of her side where her tattoo held sway over her flesh.

“Yeah,” came the husky reply. “You’re so beautiful.” Clarke added after a second.

Lexa lifted her head and smiled at the words. “You are gorgeous.” She then said and moved herself so she could settle against the warm body. They stayed like that for some time but the growl in their stomachs became louder by the minute.

“Ok woman. Feed me food.” Lexa finally said and sat up.

“Follow me then.” Clarke laughed and offered her hand. They climbed out of the warm bed, she redressed with the long shirt and offered Lexa one as well. After reheating the bacon and egg they comfortably relaxed on the couch, enjoying the food.

“Mmmm… tastes awesome!”  
“Would have tasted better fresh.”

“And me missing the sex? No way!”

Clarke only smiled at Lexa. She totally agreed.

“So what are your plans until the exhibition?” Lexa rested her elbows on the table with the mug in both her hands in front of her mouth, looking curiously at Clarke.

“I still have so much to do.” Clarke sighed out loudly. “At least no deliveries anymore.” She smirked at the memory of Lexa trying to take care of her a couple days ago.

“That’s good.” The brunette smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, remembering the same day. Lexa still felt awful for causing so much trouble.

“What are you up to?” Clarke asked back interested.

“Got to do some work as well.”  
“What are you writing about at the moment?”

Lexa froze, fork in her mouth, trying to quickly think of a topic to avoid telling the truth. She removed the fork and slowly chewed on the bacon, smiling apologetically. Clarke waited, sipping her coffee. She’d never asked her before although she was interested in her writing. She wanted to be part of Lexa’s life and that included her work. She was hoping it wasn’t some lame stock exchange article though.

“Um, it’s a piece about modern psychology I guess.” Lexa answered as close to the truth as possible.

“Wow that sounds intriguing. Can I read it?”

“Um, it’s not finished yet.” The writer tried to use the same excuse the artist had used when she’d wanted to see the drawing of her on top of Grounder Hill.

“Fair enough.” Clarke backed off. “But once you’ve finished maybe?” She tried, wanting Lexa to understand she was interested in all of what she did. This wasn’t just about sex. Clarke felt the connection in all its depth and intensity.

“Yeah. Sure.” Lexa nodded, completely caught off guard by the interest in her work. Why now? She hadn’t asked before. In fact, she hadn’t asked at all about her current assignments. Was she trying to tell her something? Did she know? Lexa felt the old panic spreading through her at light speed and she hopelessly tried to swallow the growing lump in her throat. She needed to change the subject quickly. “So, um… you’re busy tonight then?”

“Sorry, yeah. Busy until the exhibition.” She put down her cup, misreading the brunette’s signals as disappointment for not having time for her. “I can call you maybe?”

“That’s ok Clarke. Your work is important. Can I do anything to help?” Lexa felt so conflicted by the various feelings bombarding her mind. She felt sad not being able to spend time with Clarke. She missed her already, but she also felt guilty for everything she had done so far to collect data for the article. Coming along with the guilt was relief for not having to lie any further to her, but then the realisation hit home; she wouldn’t be able to see her at all and the vicious circle of her emotions reran once again, leaving her more desperate than ever.

“Hey, hey. Look at me.” Clarke tried to cheer her up after seeing the brunette upset, knowing there was nothing she needed help with. “I promise once this exhibition is over, we’ll spend proper time together. We could escape for a weekend?”

Lexa looked at her with the saddest green eyes she had ever seen on her, but the expression quickly changed into a sombre, neutral and serious one, leaving Clarke slightly confused.

“That sounds lovely. Let’s talk about it when this is over.” Lexa replied vaguely, knowing once the show was over, she had to come clean about the article. The fate of their relationship would depend on how strong Clarke felt about her. Judging on the last couple of hours, Lexa felt more positive for a future with the blonde, and she tried to focused on that optimistic attitude and smiled.

“Ok. So calling later is something wanted?” Clarke asked again a little unsure after seeing the emotions playing over Lexa’s features.

“Definitely wanted. Actually requested!” She emphasized her words with a soft kiss putting her feelings into it as much as she dared.

“Good!” Clarke mumbled against the warm lips, feeling safe and reassured.

“Good.” Lexa kissed her again and leaned back in her chair. “I should let you get ready. Don’t want to cause any more trouble.”

“You haven’t caused real trouble. Stop worrying about it.”

“Still. I should probably head over to the newspaper soon.”

They picked up the plates and cutlery and cleaned it away, before walking back into the bedroom to retrieve their clothes.

“You want to shower before leaving?” Lexa turned around at the question and abandoned her search to look at Clarke with a small smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. “Alone.” Clarke added knowingly.

“Ah shucks. Where’s the fun in that?” She joked faking disappointment.

“Just two more days’ baby and I’ll be all yours.” The blonde purred against a pouty mouth. Being reminded of the short time frame once more sobered Lexa immediately.

“Ok. You’re right. I’ll shower when home as I have to change anyway.” She quickly looked around for her underwear having spotted her other clothes by now. When she focused back to Clarke her gaze fell onto the outstretched hand, with one finger elongated swinging her panties suggestively in front of her.

“Looking for these?” Lexa snatched the offered garment out of the laughing blonde’s grasp and slipped into them. “Don’t hold them hostage!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it! Although I could use something to cuddle with.”

“Ah that’s so cute. Want my sweatshirt?” Lexa answered laughingly.

“You need it more than I do. It’s cold. Want me to call you a taxi?” Lexa checked her mobile for the time and shook her head.

“Nah, it’s alright. I’ll walk.”

“It’s at least half an hour to walk! Do you want me to give you a lift? I have to drop off Raven’s car anyway.”

“She lives at the other end of the town, closer to my place than the gallery. Want me to drop it off for you?”

“Really?” Clarke stopped her movements overthinking Lexa’s offer. “I mean if you’re sure that would be great. Would save me some time.”

“I’m sure as long as Raven’s not some batshit crazy woman who will kill me for touching her car.” Clarke laughed heartily at that but shook her head. “No, she’s not. Otherwise she wouldn’t let me have it either.”

“You’re a great driver, Clarke.”

“I know. She thinks differently.”

“She’s wrong. Anyway, I’ll do it. Gimme the keys and I’m out of your hair.”

“You do know that’s not what I want.”

“I know babe.” It was rare for Lexa to use any term of endearment but she felt so full of love for the artist she couldn’t help it slipping out. The smile she earned warmed her heart even more. The way Clarke looked at her in that moment would forever be carved into her memory. Lexa wasn’t sure, but she could have sworn she saw equally intense feelings in those blue eyes. Shaking the uneasiness off to revel more in the ‘maybe’ possibility, she linked their hands and pulled the blonde along to the entrance. “Call me when you have time beauty.” She said, kissing her longingly.

“I will.” Clarke whispered once they separated and let a set of keys fall into the waiting hand. They stared at each other. Unspoken feelings threatening to tumble out of their mouths, but both bit their tongues and nothing pierced the silence around them.

“Ok.” Lexa finally said.

“Ok.” Clarke managed as well.

“Talk to you later then.”

“Yeah. I’ll call, promise.”

Finally Lexa extracted her craving soul out of the blonde’s embrace; left a kiss on pink lips hoping it wouldn’t be the last one she would ever be giving or receiving, and crossed over the threshold into the cold stairwell.

“Take care.” She waved a goodbye.

“You too.”

Clarke closed her door and leaned against it. Two days was long for her to not say ‘I love you’, but she felt waiting was necessary. She needed to finish her show to have her full attention on her girlfriend. Lexa deserved nothing less than 100% devotion. She finally pushed off the door and walked into her bathroom to get ready for the day.

Lexa climbed into the car and familiarized herself with it whilst her mind was still on the blonde two flights of stairs above. She has been so close to say ‘I love you’, but knew she needed to wait and be honest first. In order to do that, she needed to finish the article to let Clarke read it and explain it to her.

With some newly filled hope she could see the possibility of them surviving her assignment, if she handled it correctly. She set off to deliver the car to its rightful owner.

# ***

“How come you’re here? Is Clarke ok?”

Lexa arrived at Ravens’ shortly after, and was surprised when she was asked to come in, having planned to only drop off the car and leave as quickly as possible.

“Yeah of course she is. I offered as I live not far off and the gallery is completely on the other side of Arkadia. She’s got loads to do.” Lexa offered as an explanation.

“Ok.” Raven eyed her suspiciously. After everything she had learned from Clarke over the last week and the early morning text from the blonde, made her really wanting to talk to Lexa. She recalled the message she’d woken up to.

_GriffArt (8:43): Ray, remember our lunch conversation the other day? I’m calling it off. You win._

As long as they’ve known each other, Clarke had never once backed out of a challenge. This was the first time she’d waved the white flag and given up, and Raven suspected her reasons for doing so. She would get confirmation sooner than later she promised herself, but now first things first and although she’d agreed to do this together with Octavia, the chance offered to her this very morning couldn’t be passed up. She glanced at Lexa and finally asked: “How are things?”

Lexa looked up from the offered coffee, having completely missed the internal dialogue of the other woman and smiled shyly, remembering the previous night and thinking about the morning.

“Ah that good?” Raven grinned, forgetting her ‘best friend seriousness’ for a second but sobered up quickly and fixed back on the other brunette. “You do know Clarke went through some shit the last couple of years? She told you, right?” Lexa nodded, wondering where this was going.

“So, I don’t really need to say that but I will do it anyway. I love that girl like a sister. She’s my family. And if you hurt my family, I’ll hurt you. Capisce?”

Lexa’s eyes widened at the threat and she ashamedly lowered her head. That’s what this was about – the ‘best friend’s talk’. There was no question about it, so she quickly lifted her head again and nodded. “Yeah I do. I don’t **want** to hurt her. I -” She stopped and bit her lip to avoid revealing something she hadn’t even told the blonde yet. Too fresh were the memories of their blissful night. She needed to get a hold of herself. This was getting out of hand. She cleared her throat and added “Listen Raven, I know you guys are close and I respect that. I haven’t realised in the beginning and I apologise again for the other night if I’ve made you or Octavia feel awkward. I didn’t mean to.”

“No need to say sorry. Just wanted you to know I’m very protective.”

“Thanks for being such a great friend to Clarke. She’s very special. I know.”

“She’s a tender cinnamon bun.” Raven laughed, somewhat happy with the outcome of their conversation. Octavia might have interrogated Lexa more about her intentions, but Raven trusted Lexa based upon the adoration she saw in the deep green eyes when she talked about their mutual companion.

“Right.” Lexa laughed as well, relieved the tension was subsiding and she’d dodged another bullet. She was so exhausted. All she wanted was to leave, finish the article, have an honest heart-to-heart conversation with Clarke, and reveal her true feelings.

“I need to go now. See you.”

“Yeah alright. Have a nice day, Lexa.”

“You too Raven.”

Lexa left and walked home as quickly as possible sending a message to Anya to not worry about her and to tell her she’d be in the office as soon as possible.

# ***

Clarke was busy cleaning out paper and wrappings when she heard the front door open. Cursing under her breath for forgetting to lock it, she quickly made her way back to the front to address the visitor. Only when she rounded the last corner, did she see Raven leaning lazily against the counter next to the till, playing with her phone.

“Ray?” She asked walking over to her friend.

“Clarke.” Raven grinned at her, putting her phone back into her pocket.

“What are you doing here? I’m sure I haven’t forgotten to meet you as I’m crazily busy.”

“Nope you haven’t. But you’ve sent me THE message.”

“Oh that.” She blushed under the interrogative glance of her closest friend.

“You forfeit? Is it really that serious?”

“Yeah, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” Clarke paused, thinking about the reasons she had sent the message earlier. “I can’t risk losing her over stupid shit like that. And besides, I want to hear the words because she wants to say them to me and not because I make her say them.”

“As if you could make her. We both know Lexa is headstrong. You would have lost anyway.” Clarke only shrugged not biting. Raven looked surprised at her. “Really? Not even that gets a reaction? I have insulted your ego, Griffin. We both know you and your ego are bigger than Grounder Hill.”

“I don’t want that bet on the table anymore. You win and I lose. I don’t care I’m losing. Lucky me we didn’t fix a betting debt.”

“Lucky you indeed, but let’s be honest here, you’ve not only lost the bet.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you really quitting?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Cos I want to hear you say it before I let you off the hook.”

“Fine.” Clarke turned, checking for others around her, but seeing the gallery was empty. “I don’t want that bet anymore cos I’m in love with her.”

“So in other words, you’ve lost your heart?”

“Yeah.” Clarke smiled calmly. ”You could say that.” Raven looked at her mirroring the smile.

“Good thing I told her not to hurt you.”

“What? What did you do that for?”

“Cos you’re my family.”

“What did she say?”

“She reassured me she doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“I think she’s just as deep in this as I am, but I don’t want to rush anything. We had an incredible day and before you ask, you dirty perv, yeah we also had an awesome night.”

“Woohoo! Clarkey got laid real good!” Raven did a little happy dance on one leg before resting against the counter again and asking more seriously: “When will you tell her?”

Clarke glared at her in embarrassment before she replied “After the exhibition. I’ll take some time off and we can go on a mini break or something.”

“Sounds good.”  
“You think I’m rushing this? Should I give her more time?”

“Girl, if she isn’t sick of seeing your sorry ass nearly every day for the past week, I’m sure you don’t need to worry. Besides a week in lesbian time equals what? A month?”

“Where did you read that?” They laughed and Raven shrugged. “No idea.”

“Right. Well I really need to get back to work Ray. Are you still coming on Friday?”

“I’m not going to miss the exhibition. One of these shows will be your breakthrough and I want to witness that.”  
“Good. I asked Lexa to be my date.”

“Oooh. Nice. Octavia coming as well?”

“Yeah, she said she would. I’ll remind her later.”

“Alright C. I’ll let you get back. See you latest on Friday!” Raven waved and slipped out through the front door. Clarke followed her with her eyes until she couldn’t see her anymore. It had felt good to voice out her feelings. She was not someone who fell easily in love and seeing that she had, made her wonder if Lexa had too. It clearly was possible in such a short time. She never had thought the bet would turn out like that. Though, if she was honest, she felt the connection between them on the first night, in the club. Maybe the concept of soulmates wasn’t a fairy tale?

She went over to the door and finally locked it, smiling to herself. She was one lucky bitch, she thought, walking through the gallery to the back room to finish her work.

# ***

On her way to the office, Lexa stopped at the coffee shop around the corner to return Anya’s favour from earlier in the week. She was just getting in line, texting her friend, when an angry voice cut through the chatter of the seated patrons.

“I did not want normal milk. I requested soy milk.”

“Sir, this is soy milk!”

“Oh, then it tastes funny.”

“No Sir. Our milks are all fresh.”

The woman next to the man, smiled apologetically to no one particular, and took the cup out of his hands to try herself.

“Maurice, this tastes perfectly fine. Stop making a scene, please.” She begged after returning the coffee.

“No, have you tried your coffee? I bet they screwed that one up as well? Can you take them both back and do new ones?”

“God Maurice, please.” She tugged at his arm, desperate to leave the store as all attention was now on the couple.

“Well if you don’t want to make us new coffee, I want my money back.” He exclaimed angrily, trying to get rid of the woman pulling him towards the exit. Lexa just stood astonished and surprised watching the show. After a few more moments and more heated words the man got his money back and the couple left. Lexa followed them with her eyes, witnessing a huge fight on the street, which ended with the couple leaving in opposite directions. She cringed at the display but was quickly distracted again as it was her turn to order.

# ***

 “Ah, the lost daughter.” Anya leaned back in her seat when Lexa strolled into the office.

“Haha, very funny.” She plopped into her chair and pushed the take away cup over to her friend.

“For me? Wow, you must be in a good mood to willingly spoil me.” She winked and accepted the treat.

“Not that it is any of your concern, but I am, in fact, in a good mood.”

“Wait after all those years? That’s how you’re treating me?” She crossed her arms and pouted over dramatically making Lexa laugh in delight.

“Ok fine. What do you want to know?”

“Where were you last night?”

“At Clarke’s.”

“What did you do?”

“We went to Polis Island.”

“I meant last night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

Lexa blushed furiously and Anya had her answer. “I figured. I’m glad your dry spell is over. Most literally.” She laughed at her own joke while Lexa pulled her face into an annoyed mask of embarrassment.

“Thanks. I guess.”

“You’re welcome. So where are we now with the article?”

“Well. I haven’t written anything else since you’d read it, and Nia had requested more feelings.”

“Ah, shitfest. I remember. How come you’re so calm about it?” Lexa shrugged and was about to answer when the office door opened and the devil herself strolled in.

“Nia.” Anya acknowledged the woman, whilst Lexa only lifted an eyebrow in annoyance.

“Woods! There you are! What have you got?” Nia leaned against the desk, crossing her arms.

“I still have two days.”

“From what I’ve been told, you don’t need two days, you’d need a life time to get rid of her.”

“What?” Lexa glanced confused to Anya and back to Nia, not liking the turn of the conversation. How did she know of the gender? She’d always referred to Clarke as neutral as possible.

“True or not you spent last night at her place?”

“WHAT?” All possible alarm bells went off in Lexa’s head. Was she being followed?

“I’ve some resources too little girl.” Nia sneered. “I’m not paying you to get fucked! Unless you’re planning on being an asshole from now on, I suggest you look for a new job.” Nia turned on her heels and was almost through the door when she turned back, fixing a murderous glare on Lexa. “I guess you aren’t too keen on keeping your position, now that you’ve found“ – she made quotation marks with her hands in the air – “’true love’, so I’ll make it more interesting.” She turned to look at Anya. “If **you** can’t get her back on track, you both lose your jobs. This magazine is done employing incompetent idiots.” With the door slamming into its lock the fury was gone.

 

“What the -?” Lexa stuttered.

“- hell just happened?” Anya finished, just as stunned herself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo... the plot thickens... taadaaa... Sorry for the cliffhanger. Or not. ;-)
> 
> Our precious Lexa is faced with a very hard decision. Stick with her friend or run to her lover? Stay tuned to find out next week. Until then - stay happy and safe. Cheers, J


	12. Day 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... the feedback (AO3 and fanfiction.com) was quite... um... demanding? LOL
> 
> I'm sorry guys for the awful cliffhanger, but it just worked so well. ;-) Now I hope you're eager to read on? Well then: Enjoy!!

# Day 8/9

 

After Nia had dropped the bomb on both of them they had sat in silence for a long time, before Anya finally spoke up.

“I’m not ready to lose my job over this Lex.”

“I know.” She’d sighed heavily.

“What are you planning to do now?”

“As usual, I have no clue.” She huddled into her chair and raked her fingers through her hair. “When I’d left Clarke this morning I’d planned to come here, write up what I’d gathered so far, make it more personal as requested and go back to Clarke to let her read it before publishing. She invited me to her exhibition on Friday. I’d wanted to clear the air before that. Now, I don’t know?” She shrugged helplessly.

“This is so fucked up, like big time! Do you understand what’s on the line here?” Lexa nodded, but Anya continued nevertheless. “Both of our jobs are at risk. Now I know you’ve said many times you can’t take it anymore, and I’ve tried just as often to rationalize with you, that you shouldn’t throw everything away for someone you barely know, but at the end of the day it’s your job and your business. I get that. However, now it’s my job too!”

“I know!” Lexa huffed out annoyed. “I was there too, when Nia threatened us both.”

“There’s no way I’m going to let this job be taken off me. I’ve worked so hard for it, and so have you!” She raised her voice. “You should be just as angry as I am about having the sword of Damocles hanging over our future!” She exclaimed dismayed, ruffling through her hair and holding her breath for a short moment, watching her friend. “We need to get Clarke to break up with you.” Anya finally decided resolutely.

“Anya, I love her. I can’t do that!” Lexa cried desperately, fear flitting over her eyes.

“Do you now?”

Lexa kept her mouth shut, too frustrated to acknowledge the teasing. Anya scrunched up her nose before softening her gaze, and quietly admitted. “I’ve known that and I’ve called you out on it already. You kept saying you weren’t, but I just knew you were. I knew you weren’t able to not fall in love with her. I knew all of that and I’ve still pushed you, because this -” She gestured vaguely to various points in their office, “this is what you’ve worked for, and I wasn’t just going to stand by idly and watch you fail. I knew you could do it despite developing feelings for her. I’ve hoped it wouldn’t come to this disaster. Quite honestly, I truly believed you would be able to get out of this trouble unharmed.” She paused and let her eyes wander for some time, not focusing on anything in particular; too deep in her own thoughts. Lexa let her, she hadn’t responded to anything she’d said so far. After a while Anya sighed loudly and her frustration took residency again. “This is our future Lexa for fucks sake!” She burst out, slamming her hand on the desk, which made Lexa jump in her chair.

“I’m not treating Clarke badly to make her break up with me Anya!” She yelled back matching Anya’s volume. “You can’t force me to do that!” Lexa crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I’m not letting you destroy everything we’ve worked for!” Anya shouted back.

They kept staring at each other, both panting in anger and frustration.

“Fine.” Lexa stood up abruptly. “I’m leaving then.” She turned and was halfway through the door, when she heard Anya howl after her. “Don’t come back without a solution!” Lexa raised both of her hands, middle fingers high in the air, fully aware Anya couldn’t see the gesture, but she didn’t care. Her frustration had gotten the better of her. She let the entrance door slam against the wall and used the stairs to cool off. By the time she reached the ground level, she was less agitated and more desperate. What on earth was she supposed to do now?

# ***

Three hours had passed and Lexa still couldn’t find it in her to return to the office or to her friend. Instead she was sitting on the bench on top of Grounder Hill where Clarke had taken her on their first date. She felt that was ages ago rather than merely a week.

Had they really known each other for only a week? Was it possible to fall in love so quickly, or was she just lonely and in need of someone to make her not feel alone anymore? Was Clarke more to her? Was she the longed for soul mate she had dreamed of?  
The more Lexa thought about the situation, the more hopeless she became. There was no way she could secure Anya’s job and keep Clarke at the same time. Nia had made sure of that. She had to choose. Either her only friend, who has saved her numerous times in life, who has supported everything she’d wanted to do or not do and whom she absolutely adored and loved as a sister, or the girl who had stolen her heart at hello, understood her like no one else and made her feel alive again. She shouldn’t debate. It should be clear whom to pick. It should be a straightforward decision. Except it wasn’t an easy choice for Lexa. Thinking of hurting Clarke so badly, that she’d give up on her made her feel nauseous. She could already feel her heart bleeding at knowing the blonde would only break up with her if she wasn’t worth fighting for anymore. She felt the bile rise and managed just in time to lean over the trash can before violently heaving up her breakfast. She sank to her knees and retched until only clear liquid was coming up. Lexa tried to breathe in deeply to calm her insides. After a while she stood up straight again, stretching her cramping belly, before walking back to lie down on the bench trying frantically to calm herself. Her throat burned from the contact with her stomach acid and her mouth tasted awful. She closed her eyes and begged for her body to stop hurting. She pleaded for a solution to magically form in her head and she prayed for the ‘nth’ time to be able to get out of the brewing catastrophe.

She fell asleep due to her emotional and physical exhaustion, and only woke to the sound of her phone ringing. Disorientated she sat up and groaned loudly at the headache, which had developed behind her eyes. She looked for her mobile and her heart stopped beating for a moment when she saw it was Clarke, calling her as promised. She looked up, rolling her lips into her mouth, biting down on them lightly. ‘What am I doing?’ she panicked, but her instincts took over control and she watched in horror as her finger swiped over the screen and accepted the call.

“Lexa?” She heard worry coating Clarke’s voice and quickly lifted the phone to her ear.

“Yeah, hi.” She managed.

Clarke was quiet for a second, silently urging her girlfriend to speak up again. When she didn’t, she sighed and asked “You ok?”

“Yeah, you?” Lexa cringed at her disability to participate in a normal conversation. She started to feel restless again, and worried she would throw up any minute. She laid back down in hope her body would settle.

“I’ve worried.” Clarke said, instead of answering the question. “I’ve left you a couple of messages. You didn’t answer.” She rolled her eyes at herself for sounding so clingy and needy, but she simply couldn’t help it. Her feelings for Lexa were stronger than she’d ever experienced before, and the thought of something happening to her made her anxious.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa breathed out, slowly and measured. “I didn’t mean to worry you.” A long silence took over and she almost checked her phone, when Clarke cleared her throat.

“What’s going on?” The blonde asked uncertainly.

Lexa closed her eyes; a single tear escaping and rolling down her temple, disappearing in her hair. She couldn’t pretend she was ok. She couldn’t keep up the act. She had to finish the charade. Clarke’s worry and tentativeness seeped through her skin, wrapped around her heart and rushed through her veins, filling her up and leaving her trembling. Clarke deserved better than this.

“Can I have dinner with you?” She finally whispered through her clenched jaw. “Please?” She needed to talk to her in person. “I know you’re occupied at the moment, and I’m so sorry I’m adding more to your plate.” She closed her mouth, waiting nervously for a reaction.

“Lexa what’s wrong? What happened?” She didn’t add ‘you’re scaring me’. She already sounded too needy.

“I had some trouble at work.” Lexa finally addressed the question and answered evasively. She couldn’t ignore it again and lie and say nothing was wrong.

“Ok.” Clarke breathed out. “You want to talk about it?” She sounded a little lighter than before, which made Lexa feel even worse, thinking she had lulled her in believing it had nothing to do with her, when it had everything to do with Clarke. The need to hit her head repeatedly on the bench grew by the second.

“Not now.” Lexa covered up her frustration. “Can I pick you up from the gallery tomorrow evening?” She tried to sound more positive, having Clarke worry too much already.

“Ok.” Clarke sighed again, the gloomy feeling not shifting. She sensed tragedy a mile away and wondered if she should prepare herself. The previous day and night and this morning had been too good to be true. She shouldn’t have had her hopes up to finally be happy again. Life didn’t work like that, at least not for her. Clarke bit her tongue in frustration and finally continued. “I’ll let you go back to your work then. I -” She stopped once more, reconsidering her words. “I’m here if you want to talk. I might be busy at the moment, but I’ll always be there for you.” She hoped Lexa knew that. Clarke could hear her breathing slowly before Lexa spoke up softly. “Thanks. I’m here for you too.” She said and wished she really could be.

Left with nothing to talk about, Clarke silently ended the call by saying, “Ok. See you tomorrow. Take care.”

Lexa nodded, her jaw locked forcefully, phone gripped so tightly in her hand her fingertips were bloodless. “You too.” She replied in an equally low voice, before ending the call and throwing her phone a few feet away into the soft grass. She held her breath for another minute before she screamed out desperately, surrendering to her pain and sobbing helplessly, her thin frame shaking violently.

Clarke still gazed at her phone. The screen had turned off as a minute had passed without activity. She finally looked up before she felt tears running down her face, which she angrily wiped away. She was done crying. She had sworn to herself she would never cry again, after the period of constant sobbing, when her mum had kicked her out.

Clarke stayed still for a minute to try and calm down. It hurt that Lexa hadn’t sought comfort in her and trusted her enough to talk, but for all she knew she was dealing with a work related crisis and maybe wasn’t allowed to talk about it. Whatever it was though, it had to be big. She’d never witnessed Lexa so removed from her and depressed. Maybe dinner was a good idea. They could talk about their lives, and try to be the rock for each other. She wanted Lexa to know, that she supported her. Finally, a small smile found its way onto Clarke’s lips. She would prove to Lexa that she was a reliable, strong partner.

# ***

The tears had stopped running a while ago; the sobs had subsided into whimpers of despair. Lexa sat apathetically with her feet on the bench, arms around her legs, which pressed protectively against her chest and her head rested on top of her knees. Her empty eyes were haunting. She had lost all sense of time, only hazily registering the sunset. How big the contrast to the previous day, when she had stood on the deck of the ferry, her arms around Clarke, enjoying the cold sea breeze, to today; devastated and alone. How could 24 hours change a life so significantly?

After hours of thinking Lexa was resigned to the fate of losing Clarke. In the time between the phone call and now, she had given up. There was no way, she could keep her. She didn’t care about her job either. She’d actually drafted her resignation letter in her head already. Though Anya wanted to stay, and after all she had done for Lexa, she also deserved better. Lexa’s final decision was giving up on all what was important to her to make sure, no one would get hurt further by her actions. She felt calmer after coming to terms with what she had to do. Calmer but utterly broken.

That was how Anya found her. She’d walked up the path after looking for her friend at all the places she could think of. She had messaged and apologized for her outburst, but hadn’t received any sign. She’d even walked past the gallery, but hadn’t gone in when she hadn’t seen her. The only place left was Grounder Hill. She approached her slowly like she would a stray dog, not wanting to spook her. However, Lexa didn’t move or acknowledge her presence, and Anya sat down on the same bench, calmly touched her knee and whispered. “Lex?”

This finally startled her out of her trance and she jumped off the bench. The violent movement after hours of stillness made her dizzy and she quickly turned to the bin again, retching emptily. “Fuck.” Anya got up quickly too and held her long brown hair back, realising, it wasn’t the first time Lexa had thrown up. “Sssssh…” She whispered and stroked long soothing circles over her back, whilst her friend desperately tried to calm down. Anya’s glance fell onto the phone in the grass a few feet away and she sighed. Eventually Lexa managed to still her gagging urge and Anya sat her down again offering some water she had carried around all day, knowing Lexa wouldn’t take care of herself, before bending down to retrieve the mobile.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” She handed the device back to Lexa who took it and tucked it back into her pocket.

“Don’t be.” It was barely more than a sigh, but Anya heard her nevertheless.

“I am. I shouldn’t have put more pressure on you.”

Lexa didn’t reply, instead she handed the bottle back and lifted her legs to ball back up into her previous position.

“We’re screwed.” Anya said after a while.

“No, I’m screwed.” Lexa replied.

“I won’t let you go through with this alone.”

“And I won’t let you risk anything you’re not willing to lose.” Lexa finally looked at her with an almost fierce glare. Almost. Anya could see right through her.

“What have you done?”

“Not have done, but will do.” Lexa answered vaguely.

Anya stayed silent, waiting for her to elaborate on her cryptic answer. When she offered no explanation she pressed on. “Ok, so what will you do?”

Lexa looked at her, gauging her for a moment. “I’ll meet with Clarke tomorrow for dinner. I’ll come clean to her. I’ll tell her all about the article and what was expected of me. I’ll ask her to leave you out of it.” She stopped, trying to keep her voice steady and emotionless. “That’s all I can do, but it should save your job.”

“And you? Will it save you?” She asked softly.

“I don’t want the job anymore. I’ve risked everything and lost it all. That’s what I deserve.” She mumbled exhaustedly.

“You’re giving up?”

“I’ll resign.”

Anya shook her head in disbelief. “There’s got to be another solution! I won’t let you quit!”

“It’s over Anya. Nothing you can say will change my mind, and I’m sure after I’ve told Clarke about the assignment she’ll kick me to the curb.” Lexa wiped at her eyes angrily. “I’ve already hurt her more than I should have done in the short time we’ve known each other. She’ll see that there’s no way back.” She lowered her head and tightened her arms around her knees. “And about my job, I couldn’t work there anymore anyway. It would be too much to handle.” She finished in a small voice.

“Please Lexa. Let’s think about this together. Nia knew things about you, you hadn’t shared. I promise I hadn’t told her, so how did she know?” Lexa shrugged dismissively, so Anya ignored her and continued. “I guess she must have used someone to spy on you? I mean, there’s no other explanation for why she knew about Clarke.”

“Unless you know who it is, so I can kill them, I don’t care about this anymore.” Lexa hissed between her teeth.

“Ok, ok.” Anya lifted her hands in a calming motion. “One more thing though. If she had someone watching you, don’t you think, she would find out, you’ve told Clarke?”

“Well I don’t give a damn!” She spitted out angrily, only to quickly realise what this meant in the end. “You’d lose your job anyway?” She gasped and blanched.

“I guess.”

“I gave up everything for nothing?” She exclaimed enraged. “I would have hurt Clarke. You would have lost your job anyway and all for nothing!”

“Hey.” Anya pulled her into her side, and closed her arms around her, hugging her as tightly as she could. “Hey.” She repeated after a while. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“Which way -” She pushed herself out of the embrace to look at Anya. “Which other way do you think this could go?” She asked hopefully.

“I don’t know.” Anya answered and Lexa slummed back against the bench. “I’m still convinced if we thought of something strong enough for Clarke to break it off, so you can finish the assignment successfully, but harmless enough to leave you with a chance to win her back, it could work.” Anya repeated the old plan.

“I can’t hurt her anymore.” Lexa piped up in a small voice.

“I’m not talking about hurting her, just confusing her, so she needs to step back a little to think if she knows you at all, and once day 10 is over you sweep her off her feet and live happily ever after together.” Anya made it sound so easy, Lexa thought.

“I’m not an actress, and I haven’t been able to annoy her these past 8 days. The only time Clarke remotely showed guardedness was when I actually managed to hurt her emotionally. And I’m done with that.”

“I know, you are. I know you love her and honestly, I like her too.” Anya smiled softly.

“You do?” Lexa raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Despite everything, she’s made you happy and I’m thankful for that.” She clarified.

“Yeah, she has.” Lexa returned into the warmth of her friend’s embrace and silently sighed again over her helpless situation.

“You could, I don’t know -” Anya thought out loud. “What did we say you could do for the first date?”

“I can’t remember.” Lexa mumbled against her shoulder.

“Wasn’t it something like, checking your phone every few minutes as if you were expecting a call?”

“She’d think, she’s not important to me and that would hurt her.” Lexa denied.

“Checking out waitress’ falls into the same category?” Anya asked in jest, and Lexa nodded with a tiny smile on her face.

“Ok.” Anya sighed. “What about complaining the whole time? Like too hot or too cold or too pricey or whatever?”

Lexa stayed calm for a moment, thinking, before she shifted once more out of Anya’s arms and looked at her. “When I got you your coffee this morning I witnessed a weird scene. A guy had complained about his coffee, said it wasn’t soy milk although it had been, and then he’d taken the drink off his partner and had returned it as well, requesting a refund, although she’d said, she’d been ok with it. Do you mean something like that?”

“Yeah!” Anya’s eyes lit up at the idea. “We could watch some food critics in action and see how they do it?” Lexa furrowed her brow, trying to imagine how Clarke would react in such a situation, when she was interrupted in her thoughts. “Speaking of food, I think you need to eat.” Anya stood up and took both of her hands. “Come on. We can’t stay here forever.” Lexa reluctantly let herself be pulled up and ushered along the path, with Anya close behind her.

“I could lie later and say I had to test the restaurant to make her come back to me?” She said quietly over her shoulder.

“You could. Or you just say the truth once this is over?”

“Or that.” She sighed.

# ***

It was way past midnight and Lexa was tired, but as soon as she closed her eyes she imagined Clarke’s disappointed face and it stirred her again. When they’d arrived home, she’d been forced to eat and shower, before Anya had let her mope on the couch. That had been several hours ago, before Lexa had decided to do some research. Now she was sat with her computer on her lap, reading one scathing restaurant review after another, taking notes of awful things to say. She was glad to have witnessed the scene at the coffee shop. Lexa would use that as a reference.

She felt terrible about doing something like this to Clarke, but she knew she had to do it to secure Anya’s job. As long as she was being spied on, she had no choice. It was a small relief to know she wouldn’t hurt Clarke but merely annoy and probably embarrass her. She could live with that prospect if it meant Anya could keep her position as she was convinced she’d be able to explain the situation to Clarke. This was the best solution, she agreed silently to herself.

# ***

Clarke stumbled home, exhausted, tired and hungry. She wished she could call Lexa and ask if she wanted to come over to snuggle up in her bed, but she didn’t know how to approach her after earlier. She felt lost in what was once coming so naturally to her. She’d known how to talk to her, how to flirt with her, simply how to be with her. Now Clarke was questioning everything. She hadn’t heard from Lexa since the phone call and a small part of her felt resentment against the silent treatment, not knowing why she was so rigorously ignored, but the bigger part just worried. Should she send a message to her or had she imposed on Lexa by calling her earlier? She subconsciously raked her fingers through her hair whilst crossing the road quickly, seeing a car closing in. She turned the corner and walked the last few meters to the entrance. Before slipping through the door she turned back, observing the dark night behind the streetlights, feeling watched. When she couldn’t see any movement, she resumed her walk upstairs, and forgot about it as soon as she entered her apartment.

She climbed out of her clothes and stumbled through the darkness into her kitchen to grab a snack as she was too tired to eat something proper. Still debating with herself on whether to contact Lexa or not, she remembered their early morning conversation and whispered into the night. “She wanted me to call her. She even requested it. Fuck it!” While chewing her protein bar, she typed out a message and sighed when she hit send. She couldn’t make it any worse by reaching out. She wasn’t asking for anything, she just wanted to be in contact. The day without hearing from Lexa, had left her empty and hollow, but by the time her head hit her pillow she was already asleep.

# ***

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (1:15): Just came home. Miss you. Hope you’re ok. Xxx_

Too focused on her study, Lexa saw Clarke’s message half an hour later, and she responded automatically. When she didn’t hear back she assumed she had fallen asleep. She smiled, remembering her serene form sprawled out all over her bed. She had felt so happy last night, so at ease and at home. The smile fell from her face quickly when her eyes returned to her laptop reading ‘The prix-fixe lunch for $20 was not much of a deal with food that was as insipid as unwaxed dental floss’. If she weren’t doing research for her final blow to make Clarke leave her, she would find it highly amusing. Food critics had a way with words she could learn from. Lexa lowered her head and looked at her fingers in her lap. If she focused she could feel Clarke’s entwined with hers. A sob escaped her throat and she felt a tear fall down. She exhaled slowly and pushed the computer off her body. She checked the time and sighed. She didn’t feel tired enough to call it a night and instead got up and fixed herself a coffee trying to push all thoughts of Clarke out of her mind.

# ***

Anya found a completely exhausted Lexa hours later, still on the couch. She let her gaze wander from the bags under her eyes over the slumped posture, to the various mugs on the table and floor. “Have you slept at all?”

“Couldn’t.” Lexa yawned.

“What were you doing all night?”

Lexa shrugged and pointed between the dirty crockery scattered around her and her laptop. “Research.” She finally said.

“On?” Anya grabbed a few mugs and walked over to the kitchen.

“How to cope with a broken heart after you’ve lost your soulmate?”

“Really?” Anya stopped in her tracks to focus on her. “Do you really think she’s your soulmate?”

“I don’t know Anya. She makes me feel complete. Isn’t that what a soulmate should be able to do?”

Anya nodded at the statement, but thought better than to indulge in the sentiment. “Stick to the original plan and I’m sure you’ll be able to fix it later.” She changed the topic. “You should sleep. The evening will be strenuous, and you should be rested at least.” Lexa looked up and studied her friend’s face for a while before pushing off the couch. She stopped in front of her with a small smile. “Thanks.”   
“Anytime.” Anya pulled her into a hug and added. “Call me if you need me. I’m at the office. Got some research to do as well.”

“Ok.” Lexa mumbled, and slowly extracted herself out of Anya’s arms. “I’ll be ok. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll always worry. Go. Sleep.”

Lexa padded over to her room and disappeared after she waved her goodbye. Seconds had passed since she’d left, but Anya still stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring at the closed door. She wished she could reverse their roles. She wished she could help more. She wished and wished, but nothing changed the fact that Lexa might very well be completely destroyed after this was over, and it looked like she couldn’t do anything to save her, which broke her own heart. She sighed quietly, before quickly leaving a note and making her way to work.

# ***

It was late morning when Clarke woke to her mobile alarm. She had agreed with Kane to come in later, as they’d stayed so long the previous night. The last final touches for the pre viewing were easy to complete. She groaned at the sunlight penetrating the calm duskiness of her bedroom through half closed curtains. She picked up her phone to finally stop her favourite wake up melody and saw the message from Lexa.

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (1:46): That’s late. You ok? Miss you madly. Xxxx_

Clarke wondered why she’d been awake so late and immediately felt the worry fill her up again. Not knowing what was bothering Lexa made her restless and fearful, but she couldn’t dwell on it now. She had to get ready for work. She would find out what was going on tonight. She promised to herself, she wouldn’t let Lexa walk away without at least knowing what the problem was.

# ***

Clarke was impatiently checking her mobile every 10 minutes. It was passed 3 in the afternoon and she still hadn’t heard from Lexa. Annoyance took over from worry. What the hell did she think she was doing? Before she could send an accusatory text, (one she would probably regret the second she’d sent it), her attention was claimed by Mr. Wallace. He was her biggest admirer, he’d said, and she believed him, as he always bought one or two of her pieces.

“I have to get them while they’re affordable.” He laughed.

“Oh don’t worry. I don’t think my art will ever be unaffordable.” She smiled.

Kane and Clarke guided him through the gallery, stopping now and then to explain a piece or give additional information, which had been provided by the artist.

After Mr. Wallace had left, Kane had asked Clarke to pick up more flyers for the exhibition and she was happy to breathe in some fresh air. Being cramped inside for the last hours was getting on her nerves. When she returned to the gallery she spotted a woman looking through the windows, searching for something as it seemed.

“Can I help you?” Clarke approached her. The woman jerked to a halt and slowly turned around to the voice.

“I’m sure you can.” She said sweetly. “I was looking for you.” She smiled, whilst Clarke raised her eyebrows unexpectedly.

“Why?” She asked cautiously.

“Am I right you’re working here?”

“Yes. Are you interested in buying or displaying?”

“Neither. I was wondering if I could come by tomorrow to write an article about the exhibition?” She pointed to the board advertising the upcoming event.

“Um. Really? We’ve never managed to convince a paper before to make an appearance.” Clarke smiled, knowing this would make Kane very happy, and handed her a flyer.

“Thank you Ms…”

“Clarke. Clarke Griffin.”

“Thank you Ms. Griffin. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The woman left with a smile, which didn’t reach her eyes and Clarke wondered for a moment whether to run after her and ask her for the name of the magazine, or her name for that matter, but by the time she had made up her mind, the woman had entered her car and was gone. She shrugged it off and went inside to tell the good news.

# ***

By the time Lexa woke up again it was well into the afternoon. She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She dreaded meeting Clarke. For the first time since they’ve met, she didn’t want to see her. Seeing Clarke meant getting kicked out of her life. She could cancel the plans and stay in bed, Lexa mused for second. Would Clarke come over? Probably. Would Nia find out? Definitely. Lexa sighed heavily and got up. She’d slept surprisingly long and felt well rested considering the circumstances.

She walked into the living room and spotted the piece of paper on the counter top.

‘Don’t forget to eat something! Call me before you leave.’

“Geez!” Lexa laughed out, but picked up her phone nevertheless.

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (12:36): Morning baby. Why were you up so late? I’m sorry I didn’t reply. When will you pick me up? Xx_

The smile fell as quickly as it had appeared on Lexa’s face. She cursed after reading her own message. No wonder Clarke was worried. She had message back at nearly two in the morning and said she would miss her madly. Although that was the truth, it wouldn’t help convincing Clarke to break up with her. She had to be more distant. She started to type out an answer, but deleted it promptly, putting the phone down on the counter in frustration. Lexa paced up and down along the kitchen, eyeing the device that mocked her silently. She finally opened the messenger app again, tapping her finger, before she settled on a formal reply. The least she could do was to give Clarke a subtle hint to not expect a romantic dinner with candlelight. The crush might be less devastating. At least for Clarke, she thought before calling Anya.

 

# ***

Clarke was on a ladder, trying to replace a light bulb which had decided to conk out a minute before. “Shit.” She muttered frustratingly when the bulb wouldn’t loosen, but was quickly distracted by her vibrating mobile. She shifted her weight and angled for it in her pocket, before reading the recent message and her brow furrowed deeply.

_Lexa ‘stunning writer’ (16:21): Hi Clarke. I’ll be there at 18:30 if that suits you as well. Let me know._

“What the actual fuck is going on?” She muttered under her breath reading Lexa’s formal text again and again, before checking the time. She had two hours left, before she would be here.

 

# ***

Whilst rummaging through the kitchen to find something to eat, Lexa waited for the call to go through.

“Hi sleepy head. You ok?” Anya’s voice was soft, when she picked up.

“Mm, as ok as I can be.” Lexa put down her phone and enabled the speaker. “What do you want me to eat? We’ve got nothing in the fridge, Anya.” She called out after checking the cupboards as well.

“It was your turn to go shopping.”

“Sorry.” Lexa returned to the phone, and saw Clarke had just replied.

“Meet me at the office, I haven’t had lunch either.” Anya said, unaware of the interruption.

_Clarke ‘ravishing artist’ (16:24): 18:30 is alright. See you later._

If Lexa had hoped for a more intimate answer she would have fooled herself. Clarke had responded in the same tone as she had.

“Um. Yeah.” She replied distracted.

“We can just go the restaurant on the ground floor. It won’t take long and I’ll be satisfied if I see you eating at least some proper food. Please Lexa.” Anya pressed further.

“I’ll be there.”

“Ok.” Anya sighed and disconnected the call. Lexa groaned out again, but walked back to her bedroom to put some clothes on. 40 minutes later she arrived at the building and messaged for Anya to come down as she had no desire to walk into Nia. They settled in a small corner booth and quickly ordered pasta and salad.

“Soooo…” Anya drawled biting some time, hoping Lexa would feel the urge to break the silence.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ready for tonight?”

“No, but it’s a Hobson’s choice.”

“I’m afraid.” Anya leaned over and put her hand on Lexa’s. “You know I was wondering the whole time, what the hell have you done for Nia to be so aggressive and awful to you?”

“I’ve been thinking about that as well. I’ve no clue. I’d never met her before I started working at the newspaper.”

“I’ve done some research and found a memo in a private folder listing all your academic achievements.”

Lexa was silent for a moment, not quite understanding what Anya was trying to tell her.

“Yeah, it states you graduated from high school with honours, you got a scholarship for the university, you were the youngest editor of the university newspaper ever in history, you changed the law by successfully rallying against it -”

“Yeah, ok I know my life and half of that was in my CV when I applied for the job.”

“The memo was between the owner of the media concern the newspaper belongs to and the director of Nib & Scroll. They have you on their list for possible candidates for replacing the whole editorial board because they’re failing to get the paper back on track.”

“Fuck!”

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.”

They ate in silence; Lexa picking at her food listlessly, digesting the information.

“Are you by any chance on that list as well?”

“Why do you think she threatened both of us?”

“Wow! What are we doing? We cannot let her win!”

“I’ll keep digging? Maybe I find some skeletons in her closet. I still want to know who’s helping her.”

They finished their lunch and soon left the place to walk to Lexa’s car in the underground parking lot. Before she got in her car Anya stopped her. “For what it’s worth, I wish you luck.” Lexa looked up and grimaced at her words. She didn’t need luck she needed a new identity. Or better, a complete new life. This one was too fucked up for her taste.

“Thanks. See you later.” Anya nodded and walked back to get the lift up, when a movement to her left caught her attention and she slipped quietly behind a pillar to observe.

# ***

Lexa arrived at the gallery a little bit earlier, and waited in the shadow of a streetlamp watching Clarke bustling about. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and most of her hair had escaped a pony tail. She looked breathtakingly beautiful and Lexa debated whether to stay or to go. With one last glance to the gorgeous woman she pushed herself off the lamppost and strolled slowly over to the gallery. Before she reached the door Clarke looked up and worried blue eyes met sorrowful green through the window. Lexa gulped at the emotions coursing through her body and for a fraction of a second she stopped walking towards Clarke, basking in the unfractured beauty before her, as she soon enough would be breaking her. Clarke’s glance didn’t leave Lexa once while she walked towards the gallery, even when she paused. A million and one questions ran through the blonde’s mind when Lexa stood right in front of her. However, instead of voicing any she kept quiet.

“Hi.” The brunette smiled, unsure if she should lean in for a kiss, but knowing if she didn’t they wouldn’t even make it to dinner before getting lost in a discussion where she most likely had to explain what was going on. So she stepped closer, wrapped her arms around her waist and softly pressed her mouth against Clarke’s, who hesitated for a second before reciprocating the intimate gesture.

“Hi.” The blonde replied after they’d separated. Lexa lowered her head to avoid seeing the questions in the depth of deep blue eyes.

“You ready to leave?” She asked, finally looking up again.

“Yeah, let me get my stuff.” Clarke collected her jacket and bag before switching off the lights in the rooms.

The drive to the restaurant wasn’t long but the silence surrounding them felt heavy. Clarke began to fear that Lexa would want to break up with her, as her whole posture was so rigid and tensed. The blonde stared out of the window, thinking back, if she had missed a sign that she wasn’t interested anymore or if she herself had done or said anything wrong, but came up empty handed. Lexa had left her the previous day just as affectionate and emotional as she herself felt. Clarke glanced over and realised the sharp jaw, she was so fond of, clenching and unclenching constantly. Lexa was grinding her teeth so hard even her lips were discoloured, and a look at her hands showed white knuckles from gripping the wheel with enormous strength.

“Ok. That’s enough. Pull over Lexa.” She said calmly trying to cover the raging storm inside her.

“What? It’s not that far anymore to the restaurant. Only -”

“I said pull over.” She repeated, anger slipping into her words. Lexa quickly looked over and met Clarke’s demanding glare. She nodded, checked the mirrors and finally pulled over into a small neighbourhood street. She killed the engine but didn’t move any further, feeling Clarke’s eyes on her.

“What the hell is going on Lexa?” She finally let out in a low voice. Lexa glanced over but didn’t respond. She breathed slowly and deeply in and out. Clarke turned in the seat to face Lexa and studied her for a moment, before asking tentatively, “Please talk to me.”

Lexa tried desperately to keep her tears at bay, knowing Clarke would walk away from her at the end of the night. There was no doubt.

“Are you not even talking to me anymore? What have I done?” Clarke asked voice thick with emotion. The pleading for an explanation and the self-loathing finally stirred Lexa out of her lethargic state.

“You haven’t done anything.”

“Then what is this about?”

“…” Lexa opened her mouth, but no sound came out and she turned her head back to the front.

“You…” Clarke stopped. “You don’t want to tell me?” She shook her head in disbelief. “Ok, you know what?” She waited for Lexa to look at her before clasping the door handle. “Make up your mind and let me know what you want by tomorrow.” She pushed the door open and climbed out of the car as quickly as possible. Lexa looked at her with troubled green eyes and Clarke almost wanted to get back in and kiss her and take back her ultimatum, but she didn’t. She just kept looking, searching for the feelings she was so sure she had seen before. Lexa drowned in the raging blue eyes, which seemed to bore into her very soul and strip her off her unvoiced emotions. The moment passed and neither stopped the other in their next move. Clarke slammed the door close and walked back to the main street and Lexa started the car and slowly drove away, letting the tears fall, blurring her vision.

# ***

_GriffArt (18:56): Can you come and pick me up?_

_Dr. Dr. Prof. (19:00): Where are you?_

# ***

_Anya (19:15): Call me as soon as you can, I know who the snitch is!!!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok... um shall I hide or can I stay?
> 
> I know, I know. This is awful and sad and and and, BUT I did promise a happy end (check out the tags). So please stay put and let me tell the story? If you're very frustrated with me let me know. If you want feedback ask me on tumblr (jaansche).
> 
> Last but not least big thank you to my proofreader. She proofed while I fell asleep. What a babe!


	13. Day 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks.
> 
> Soooooo… First of: Sorry for not posting any sooner, although I’ve been asked by so many of you. I like to take my time to ensure I deliver high quality stuff. And a week between chapters is not too long… or? Let me know.   
> Secondly: Shout-out to my gorgeous proofreader and to everyone who left comments or kudos or has subscribed to the story or me. I’m immensely thankful for your feedback and love that you guys love the story. ☺  
> Lastly, I have good and bad news for you. Good news: Yay, you’re about to read ‘Day 10’! Bad news: Um, you’re about to read ‘Day 10’… cryptic much? I agree, but judge for yourself and consider yourself warned.

  


# Day 10

When Raven had picked up Clarke the previous evening she hadn’t been sure of what to expect. The text had not revealed the state the blonde had been in, but the words hit home nevertheless. It had been months since the brunette had received a message from Clarke asking to be picked up. She had sent those words almost every night from various different bars and locations after her dad had died and her mom had kicked her out.

Raven had arrived at the address and had found Clarke sitting on a bench, jacket tightly wrapped around her torso, eyes staring into nothingness. She hadn’t acknowledged her arrival, so Raven had gotten out of the car and had slowly walked over to sit next to her.

“What happened?” She’d asked calmly to avoid spooking her friend. “Clarke?” She’d taken both hands in hers and applied soft pressure, warming cold fingers in the process. “Talk to me.”

“I” Clarke had stuttered and without warning tears had started to escape her eyes and she’d started sobbing uncontrollably. Raven had wrapped her arms tightly around her and cursed the universe for not calling Octavia yet. She’d always taken care of Clarke when it had come to the breakdowns. Raven had seen many of those, and it had always been their third friend who had been able to help the most. After a while the tears had stopped spilling and the sobs had become sporadic. Clarke had let Raven guide her back to the car and had dropped into the passenger seat. However, the memories of her and Lexa driving this very car a few days ago had brought a new wave of tears and Raven had quickly searched for her cell phone.

_Ray of light (19:25): ‘10-00’. My place._

_Drill-Instructor (19:30): OMW. Keep her safe._

It had been a trained communication between the two of them as it had happened so often in the past. The coded text had merely been a quick way to inform each other. Raven had come up with the police code, saying ‘officer down’ for Octavia to know Clarke needed her immediately. She’d fastened Clarke’s seatbelt while the blonde had cried silently, covering her face with her hands, ashamed of being so weak. The sight had broken Raven’s heart. To see her in such a state was devastating. She had driven them as fast as possible to her home and had helped Clarke inside and onto the couch. She had stopped crying somewhere between High Street and Mount Weather Road, but hadn’t said a word since being picked up.

“I’ll make some tea. I’m just in the kitchen ok?” Clarke had nodded but had avoided eye contact. Raven had sighed and had gone to do what she had said she would do. Only a few minutes later the front door had opened and Octavia had pushed into the hall. “Raven?” She had hissed out, when the other brunette hadn’t appeared.

“Kitchen.”

She had made her way over and had looked at Raven with a serious expression. “How bad?”

“6 out of 10. She isn’t drunk.”

“Thank god. At least something. Living room?” Raven had nodded and had pointed to the kettle. Octavia had signalled her understanding and had walked into the other room. Clarke had still been sat on the couch in a similar position as when Raven had found her an hour ago on the bench, legs bent and arms around them, head on top of her knees.

“Clarke? Darling?” She’d sat down and had put her arm around the blonde’s shoulder. Clarke had turned towards her and had burrowed her face into her neck. She had let her without question, brushing her other hand up and down her thigh in a soothing manner. Raven had come back and had set the cups of tea down in front of them and had settled on the floor. Clarke had lifted her head and her attempt to smile had made her friends smile too.

“Who would have thought the emergency chain was still working so efficiently?” She had breathed out. None of them had said anything as all had known it had only happened so smoothly because it had been needed so often in the past.

After a while, Octavia had cleared her throat and had waited for Clarke to look at her. “What happened?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Clarke had admitted. Part of her desperation had stemmed from blaming herself for not waiting for Lexa to speak up. She hadn’t really given her a chance to explain. Well she had, but she hadn’t waited nearly long enough. She hadn’t been able to sit and wait for her to break her heart. If Clarke had learned anything from her past, she needed to protect herself, as long as she was able to do so. Her coping mechanism had always been running. “Everything was alright after she’d left to drop off your car yesterday. Was she weird, Rae?” Clarke turned to her friend on the floor.

“Nope. Was pretty much herself as far as I could tell.”

“Yesterday we agreed I would call her sometime during the day and when I did, she was…” Clarke had searched for words, clearly unable to understand Lexa’s behaviour. “Cold and distant. I asked her if she was ok and after a while she said she had trouble at work.”

“Well maybe she’d missed a deadline?” Raven had helped out.

“Maybe. I don’t know. She asked me out for tonight and I really had thought we would be ok again, but then she’d sent me an equally impersonal text message this afternoon and I knew that something was wrong. She arrived and all the way to the restaurant we didn’t speak a word and then I made her pull over.” She’d stopped to take a breath. Neither Raven nor Octavia had felt the need to prompt her, leaving her to finish her story in her own time. “Anyway.” She’d gone on after a while. “I asked her if I’d done something. I know.” She’d interrupted herself upon seeing both girls scrunch up their faces in disapproval. “She said I hadn’t but didn’t elaborate either. I got angry and told her to make up her mind and tell me tomorrow what she wanted.” She’d shaken her head and had lifted the cup to her lips blowing air to cool the liquid, before sipping it slowly. “I fucked up.”

“No!”

“Hell no!”

“Look Clarke.” Raven had started.

“Listen.” Octavia had interrupted and had lifted a hand to indicate she would take over.

“Listen.” She’d repeated. “Whatever Lexa has going on, it was wrong of her to treat you like that. It’s her fault and I will not accept you beating yourself up like this.” Clarke had put on a fake smile and Raven had kicked her foot at the display. “You’re not guilty, Clarke.” She’d piped up. “And I really want to kick her ass for doing that to you. I don’t understand her. She’d said she didn’t want to hurt you, when I’d spoken to her.”

“WHAT? Did you do the friend’s talk without me?” Octavia had asked indignantly.

“Kind of…” Raven had trailed off and had put her most radiant smile on, to smother the irritation. “She’d dropped off the car and I’d invited her inside and I went from there…”

“Never mind.” Octavia had turned back to Clarke. “What are you planning to do now?”

“Wait for her to decide, I guess.” Clarke had sighed in defeat.

“Really? Why wait?” Octavia had asked suspiciously.

“She wouldn’t talk to me.”

“Again. Why do you give her the power over you after she’s treated you like that?” She wouldn’t let go and Clarke had been tired of explaining herself.

“I can’t give up on her without an explanation.” She had explained exhaustedly.

“Why?”

“Can we not talk about that now?”

“Do you want to stay here? Watch some Netflix?” Raven had said interrupting the interrogation. Octavia had shot daggers at her, and she had lifted her hands to indicate she had come in peace. After a while they had all settled on the couch and had started to watch a senseless, stupid show, when Octavia had felt Clarke moving against her and had whispered. “I’m in love with her. I can’t just let her go.” The addressed brunette had only nodded; her hand had searched for Clarke’s, squeezing for comfort. After a few episodes, when all three had been too tired to follow anything on TV they had retired for the night. Clarke and Octavia had decided to share the guest bed and Raven had climbed into her own.

# ***

Anya stormed over to the entrance as soon as she heard the keys fumbling in the lock and tore open the door. “Fucking hell Lexa! Where the fuck have you been?” She stopped dead in her tracks, when she looked at her. Lexa leaned against the wall for stabilization, eyes bloodshot and skin ashen, her hands trembling uncontrollably. She pushed herself off the concrete frame and fell face first through the door onto the hard wooden floor. “Shit!” Anya had been too slow not expecting her to move. She crouched down and turned Lexa around, wincing sympathetically at the busted lip, the ‘welcome home gift’ from kissing the ground.

“Come on. Let’s get you up.”

“Llllet m… b…beee.” She slurred almost unintelligible, hiccups preventing any proper pronunciation further.

“Nope, come on.” She pulled her up forcefully, lifting her slim form over her shoulder and stood up to carry her to the brunette’s bed. It wasn’t the first time Lexa had drunken herself into this state of inebriation, but it had been a long time ago. Instead of asking the ‘why’s’ and ‘how’s’ she let her slouch into the pillows and left to get water. The fact that Lexa was the most unreluctant drunk she had ever seen made the process so much easier. She made her drink half a litre of water and eat dry bread to soak up some alcohol, while she inspected the injury. She’d be sporting a nice bruise and a cut for a couple of days, but that would be it, she judged. Anya continued to watch her friend forcing down the flavourless arid substance, hissing every time the crust touched her swollen skin.

“Guess you’ll regret this later.” She concluded, standing up and moved the bin next to the bed. “Precautionary measures.” She explained when Lexa lifted a questioning eyebrow.

“I’m sorry.” She confessed in a small voice.

“I worried.” Anya let her emotions show. Only a little, as she knew she had to wait for Lexa to sober up before having any conversation. She nodded slightly but grimaced almost immediately at the pain. Lexa let her eyes drop closed to ease the tremors of her aching head. Anya took the bottle and left over bread off of her and silently walked out of the room. She returned after a while to check on her but she was deeply asleep, her brows furrowed, contorting her face into a mask of sorrow and grief. Whatever had happened last night, it must have been the final blow she thought, and tucked the blanket around Lexa, leaving a small kiss to her temple. “I’m here for you.” She whispered, and left some pain killer on the nightstand together with a fresh bottle of water before closing the door behind her. She sighed and realised it was nearly six in the morning. No need to go back to sleep now. She splashed cold water onto her tired face and walked over to the kitchen to prepare some dearly needed coffee. She had hoped Lexa would have been less wasted, but after she’d woken up in the early morning hours without a sign of the brunette, she’d known that was wishful thinking. However, she really needed to talk to her about what she had found out the previous night. They had to sit down and talk as soon as Lexa woke up.

# ***

Clarke opened her eyes to a familiar room and stretched, feeling the warmth of another body next to her. She looked over and by the sight of her friend the previous night came crashing back into her memory. Why had she let Lexa go? Why had she climbed out of the car? Why had she -”

“I can hear you thinking bullshit.” A gravelly voice, laced thickly with sleep, stopped her from forming any more thoughts. “If you don’t stop, I’ll make you.”

“I can’t stop. What if Lexa has decided I’m not worth all the hassle because I’d put that ultimatum out there?”

“Are you for real, Clarke?” Octavia finally turned towards her, greeting her with an annoyed expression. “She’d be stupid to let you walk.”

“You have to say that. You’re my friend.”

“No I don’t. I say that because I’ve seen how she’s looked at you when you weren’t paying attention. I could have sworn she was in love with you.”

“I could have too.” Clarke admitted with a small voice, curling into her friend.

“I’m sorry I put pressure on you yesterday, but I really needed to hear you say why you’re giving her this chance.”

“I know. I’m not mad. You and Raven are literally my lifesavers. Over and over again.”

“You deserve it. Life is more than just surviving. I know you know that, and with Lexa you’ve started living again. I’m going to hurt her, if she decides to carelessly throw you away.”

“Thanks O.” Clarke paused for a heartbeat before adding. “I really don’t know what I’m going to do, if she doesn’t want me.” Octavia didn’t reply, worrying over the fate of her friend’s heart. When Raven climbed into the bed a little later, they decided to head into town for breakfast, as Clarke was only expected by lunchtime at the gallery.

# ***

Anya could hear Lexa before she saw her. A load groan came from behind the closed door.

“Take the tablets.” She hollered amused. It was shortly after midday and she knew they had to go into work soon. Nia had texted she wanted to talk to them. “Come out when you can. I’ve got to talk to you.”

Half an hour later Lexa slowly emerged from her room, wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit.”

“Well I can assure you, you are no shit.”

“Doubtful.”

“What happened yesterday? Where have you been all night?”

“I screwed up even before we had dinner.” Lexa recalled the events, which led to Clarke leaving and her sobbing with a bottle of whiskey at the harbour, watching fisherman readying their boats for the early daily work.

“Why the hell did you go to the harbour?” Lexa didn’t look up, but Anya waited her out and she finally admitted. “It reminded me of the day Clarke took me to Polis Island.”

“You like torturing yourself?” It was a hypothetical question and both women sat in silence, Lexa ashamed and feeling worse than in a long time and Anya contemplating how to proceed.

She sighed and asked after a few more minutes. “What are you doing now? With the ultimatum I mean.” Lexa shrugged, stood up and carefully walked over to get herself some coffee. Maybe that would help make her feel better? She knew it would only reduce her physical pain though.

“Ok. We can discuss this later. Have you seen my messages?” Anya changed the subject, seeing Lexa wasn’t willing to talk about Clarke related topics.

“I’m sorry I worried you.” The brunette turned around from the coffee machine and eyed her guiltily.

“Seems to be a reoccurring occasion.” Anya quipped back, slightly annoyed. Lexa put on a forced smile and focused back on the coffee dripping slowly but steadily into the mug. “Never mind.” Anya deflected and repeated her question. “Have you read my messages?”

“No.” She scraped her foot over the floor in an attempt to release some restlessness.

“Really? God Lexa, sometimes I swear I could kill you.” Anya growled annoyed.

“Hey, feel free to do so. I’m done living.” Lexa looked at her challenging.

“I don’t want to hear that!” Anya loudly put her cup down staring angrily at Lexa. “I can’t stand you talking like that.”

“Alright!” Lexa lifted her hands in a calming manner. “What were the messages about?” Anya glared at Lexa for good measure before letting it go, and jumping onto the change of subject.

“I know who keeps Nia informed on your progress and you wouldn’t believe who it is!” She burst out.

“What? Who is it Anya?” In two quick steps Lexa was back at the counter looking curiously at her friend. Instead of an answer Anya held up her phone, and showed the pictures she had taken the previous evening.

“Remember when you told me you had caught them talking in the stairwell?” She pointed to the two figures in the pictures, when Lexa nodded. “Well I had too and that had made me suspicious. After you left yesterday I saw her going to her car. I hid behind a pillar so I could watch her. At first nothing happened, but then Nia showed up. They started talking, but at the sound of an engine roaring loudly through the garage, Nia left. When the car, which had spooked Nia, came into my sight, I nearly revealed my presence, because it was you and I wanted to warn you, but then I thought I’d rather follow her, following you.” She showed some more pictures she had taken.

“Wow, how come I didn’t see her?”

“She was very subtle. Clearly not the first time she’d done that kind of research.” Anya grimaced, but continued. “You arrived at the gallery and waited outside when she drove past you, taking pictures of you and Clarke or something.”

“Did she follow us further?”

“Yeah, I think so. I wasn’t able to keep up with you guys, so I drove back to our office and started digging in her past.” She grinned knowingly.

“Juicy?”

“Plenty!”

“Neat. At least we have something up our sleeves now as well.” Lexa smiled for the first time but instantly regretted the move as a pain shot through her lip. Her hand went immediately to the source of her discomfort and she winced at the contact.

“Yeah about that, I kinda let you faceplant the floor, when you came home this morning.” Anya explained sheepishly.

“What?” She stood up quickly and went to check herself in the bathroom mirror. “Anyaaaaaa!” She drawled out. “Damnit, I’d need a litre of coffee and plastic surgery to turn myself back into a human.” She whined, letting her head hang low.

“Told ya. Come on. I’ve got a text of the devil. She wants to meet us in an hour. We need to be there.”

“Fuck, she probably wants the article. It’s the last day. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I hate timelines and ultimatums.” Lexa groaned again, but stopped poking at her busted lip.

“No idea. Get ready, I’ll fix you a coffee to go, ok? And about the article, you said you’ve finished it?”

“Yeah mostly, but if she wants it, I need to talk to Clarke before. I don’t want her to find out about it accidently.”

“Stop thinking. We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.” Anya pushed her back into the bathroom and closed the door. Lexa stripped down and stepped under the hot water, beating down on her, and helped clearing her mind. Her brain slowly came to a halt, with only one thought standing out. Clarke.

They arrived within the hour and made it look like they’d been there all day, when the office door opened and Nia’s assistant put her head through. “She’s waiting for you guys in conference room 1. She’s mighty chipper today. Good for you.” She said and left.

“I don’t understand this woman. Yesterday she was furious and today she’s cheerful?” Lexa complained but got up nevertheless. A nearly unhealthy amount of caffeine and pills made her feel almost human. Almost. She had to ignore the painful twisting and turning of her heart to make herself look ok.

“Guess she received good news?” Anya offered and stood up as well. They took their notebooks and walked down the hall to the meeting room.

“Finally! I’m glad to see the two of you. Sit down.” She greeted them. “Oh my, what happened to your face?” She turned to Lexa. “I wasn’t aware of any fights.” She sneered.

“None of your business.” Lexa spat out angrily and received a kick to her shin under the table. ‘Behave’, Anya mouthed quietly, and Lexa knew she was right. They needed to play cool to go against someone so scheming.

“Anyway, I’ve been informed you were successful?” Nia spoke up again.

At that Lexa and Anya exchanged a confused look, but focused back on their boss, who hadn’t seen the nonverbal communication as she hit some keys on her laptop. “I truly thought I’d never see that coming, but you’ve proven me wrong.” She hit one last key and a picture of Lexa and Clarke from the previous night appeared on the wall behind her. It showed them both sitting in the car, Lexa’s head hanging low and Clarke looking at her with desperation in her eyes. The brunette’s heart broke a little more at the expression on her girlfriend’s face. ‘Or was she her ex-girlfriend now?’ Lexa worried. The next picture showed them looking at each other, the blonde obviously angry. The third picture showed Clarke outside of the car, her arms crossed in front of her chest. The last picture showed her leaving, and Lexa fought the tears forming in her eyes at the memory of seeing the most important person walking away from her through the rear-view mirror.

“How was it?” Nia laughed openly at Lexa’s pained face. “Oh never mind. I’ve been told you drove off somewhere. Do you want to know what your girl did?” Lexa nodded automatically, longing to hear Clarke was ok and safe. “She called her other girlfriend and this one came running quickly and swept her off her feet. Well, not literally, but they drove off together.” She licked her lips in a satisfied way with an evil grin on blood-red lips watching the women in front of her.

“She didn’t follow?” Anya asked blankly.

The question wiped off the smirk on Nia’s face and she furrowed her brows. “What?”

Lexa looked at Anya and waited for her to continue, unsure how revealing the blonde would be at that point.

“Your little puppy didn’t follow Clarke or Lexa?” Anya repeated slowly, and both women watched their boss’ reaction carefully, who’s stopped her mouth from dropping and eyed them angrily.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” She answered carefully.

“Ok, I’ll spell it out for you. Echo from the financial department has been helping you spy on Lexa.”

“Why do you think it’s Echo?” Nia tried to cover up.

Anya nonchalantly shrugged the comment off and stood up. “Nevermind. Is that all you want us for? We have articles to write. You know, being in the red and all, you shouldn’t hold us back.” She threw in the last sentence for good measure and pulled Lexa up as well, dragging her to the glass door of the conference room. Nia’s squinted eyes followed their every move. She didn’t care about Echo’s fate, but she contemplated Anya’s last words, and finally decided she must be seeing ghosts. ‘These two nitwits couldn’t possibly have grasped the bigger picture’ she thought to herself and planted her most intimidating smile on her face and gestured to the door. “Be my busy bees, ladies.” Anya faked a smile and pushed Lexa through the door who after leaving the room, complained at the rough treatment.

“Anya!”

“Shush!” More pushing and Lexa nearly stumbled over her feet.

“ANYA!”

“Shut up and follow me.” Anya turned round a corner and quickly walked down the corridor away from their office to the ladies room. She stepped inside and checked for occupants. When she was convinced no one was using it, she leaned against the entrance door and looked at Lexa who stared at her in sheer bewilderment. “What the hell?” She asked, shaking her head and turned to a sink to splash cold water on her face. Anya kept looking at her with an intense stare, before breaking the silence. “Do you have any idea how lucky you are?”

“What?” Lexa slowly pulled her hands off her face and eyed her friend through the mirror.

“She fucking believes Clarke has broken up with you!” Anya exclaimed excitedly.

“As far as I remember, she has!”

“No, that’s exactly the tiny nuance. She didn’t break up, she told YOU to make up your mind.” Lexa stayed quiet, and looked at Anya with a puzzled expression before the meaning of the words finally sank in and a small smile appeared on her face.

“Yeah, Lexa! Fucking lucky I tell ya!” She turned her arm to check her watch. “You’ve got like 4 hours left before the opening of the gallery. I suggest you put that to good use.” She pushed herself off the door, opened it and gestured Lexa to walk through.

“What do you suggest I should do now?” She whispered on their way back to the office.

“If you don’t fulfil your assignment, Nia can get us kicked out by some nonsense excuse of misconduct or refusal to work. So I suggest you finish the article.”

“Ok.” Lexa interrupted. “I can do that.”

“Then you should go to Clarke. Tell her you love her. Explain the article. Apologise profusely and hope for the best.” Anya counted off her fingers, smiling at Lexa. “I assume Echo won’t follow you anymore as Nia is convinced you lost Clarke.”

“Not sure I haven’t.”

“Think positive!”

# ***

“So, and after that she just drove off?” Monty asked in disbelief.

The best brunch in town was always served by ‘Little café’ owned by Monty. He only opened on Fridays and weekends as these days attracted the most customers, also the restaurant of Jasper and Monty was very successful and demanding.

The three women had comfortably settled in a booth and had been talking animatedly about the exhibition to come, when Monty had come up to the table and had sat down, chiming into the conversation with ease. It hadn’t taken them long for their conversation to touch on Clarke’s love life. Monty had simply asked how Lexa was, not expecting an eye roll from Octavia and Raven and a pained smile from Clarke. After a little prodding, the blonde had eventually related her last encounter with her girlfriend. ‘Or was she her ex-girlfriend now? Wow, how long did this last? Two days? Record’, Clarke thought bitterly but nodded at Monty’s question. “I don’t know where she went or what she did. In fact -” She looked down at her mobile. “I have no idea at all, as I haven’t heard from her since then.” She sighed. “Guess that’s not really a surprise.” She let her head fall onto the table.

“Hey, cheer up cupcake.” Raven tried to lighten the mood. “She still has some time to get her head out of her ass and contact you.”

“Not sure I’m willing to let her back into your life.”

“Octavia!” Raven exclaimed surprised, while Clarke lifted her head and looked questioningly.

“Well, what kind of asshole-y kneejerk reaction was it to treat you like that and then leave?”

They all nodded in agreement. Lexa had clearly reacted as wrongly as she could.

“But...” Raven slowly scratched her head. “I can’t forget the way she looked at Clarke when she thought no one was watching.” She shrugged and a helpless smile crawled onto her face.

“I’ve told Clarke exactly the same thing this morning.” Octavia laughed lowly. When Monty kept staring at them in confusion, Raven spoke up again.

“She had that pure admiration in her eyes, when she watched Clarke. Adoration and, I mean I’m not an expert, but it looked like love.” They nodded and Monty added. “I already thought she was falling for you, when you guys came over for dinner.”

Having enough of her friends talking over her head, Clarke cleared her throat and pointed out. “As much as I’d love to listen to your analysis, I think it should be solely my decision, if I give her another chance or not. I mean I’m the one, whose heart is at high risk of being broken.”

“Well yes, but as your best friends it’s on us to deal with you then.” Raven blurted before yelling out in pain after receiving a kick to her leg. “Ouch!”

“What Raven means -” Octavia glared at the other brunette. “We love you Clarke and we hate seeing you sad. That’s all. But we know how you feel about her and yes you’re right. It is your decision. I just hope she deserves your forgiveness.”

“I know and I appreciate your worry and by the way thanks for last night.” Clarke looked appreciatively at her friends and continued a little quieter. “At the moment, I really don’t know what I’ll do if she contacts me.” She slumped into her seat. She couldn’t stop thinking about the previous evening and all the mixed feelings and pain the night had brought along, but she also felt the love inside her, still hopeful and so strong. She really was at odds right now. Do I give up or do I stay? Do I move on or do I fight?

“Maybe leave the conversation and argumentation to her and then weigh up your options and answer in accordance to this?”

“Monty? You’ve always been the voice of reason.” Raven clapped him hard on his back, making him choke on his croissant. Octavia smiled amused at him coughing but quickly turned her gaze back to the blonde.

“Doesn’t sound like you know what you want anymore. I mean if I’d asked you two days ago, we all know what you would have answered. But after yesterday…” She trailed off, leaving the figurative ball in Clarke’s court.

“I…” She closed her mouth, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, before letting her head fall back, gaze focused at something above them. Octavia kept her eyes trained on the blonde and Monty and Raven stopped arguing as well. After a short moment of silence, which was only disturbed by spoons clinking against mugs and cutlery scrapping over plates, Clarke lowered her eyes, looking at her friends. “I still want her.” She confessed quietly.

# ***

Lexa sat at her desk with her eyes fixed on the computer screen in front of her. She wanted to finish it, but the words were difficult for her to find. The emotional turmoil inside of her didn’t help either. One moment she felt butterflies at the thought of seeing Clarke again and the next she felt her heart beating painfully at the possibility of losing her. Maybe she wouldn’t get to see her in the end? Maybe Clarke had made up her mind and didn’t want to talk to her anymore? Who knew what had happened between last night and tonight? She hadn’t heard from Clarke and hadn’t messaged her either. All she knew was that most probably Raven had come to pick her up, and she was relieved by the thought Clarke had been with her friends and not alone. Her friends were very protective, and Clarke was safe with them, but that meant they would know what had happened, and Lexa assumed Raven and Octavia would be there tonight. The thought worried her and she looked up.

“Hey Anya.” She waited. “Got any plans for tonight?” She asked after Anya had lifted her head.

“Oh my god! Are you for real?” She squinted at her, gauging the seriousness of the question.

“Come on…” Lexa put on her best puppy eyes and pouted. “If you came with me there would be at least one person in the room who wouldn’t want to kill me.”

“Who would that be?” Anya grinned at her. Upon seeing a frown on Lexa’s face she raked her hand through her hair and sighed. “Fine. I’ll come with you.”

Lexa jumped up from her seat and rounded the table to hug her. “Thanks!”

“Don’t sweat it. When does it start again? Do you want to talk to Clarke before?”

“I think I want to wait for her to do whatever she has to do, before talking her. I don’t want her in any more trouble with her boss. Besides…” Lexa pensively scratched her head before gliding her fingers through her long hair. “I have no clue, what she thinks of us at the moment.”

“What do you mean? Are you worried she won’t want you anymore?”

Lexa shrugged with a doubtful expression on her face.

“You’re a pessimist. Give yourself some credit.”

“Credit for what? She replied sarcastically. “Oh let me think. I made her feel awkward, I lied to her and I left her without an explanation. Yeah, kudos to me.” Lexa walked back over to her desk and plopped down into her chair. Anya only rolled her eyes and turned back to her computer. Without looking up she asked. “How far are you with the article?”

“I don’t know. It’s still not juicy but at least I’ve covered all bases. I added dislikes and how to explore them and although I haven’t been able to use it, I also ventured into exploring dining behaviour and what can be done to screw things up.”

Anya looked up and eyed her a moment longer before asking. “Alright, are you still planning on giving it to Clarke?”

“Not tonight. I’ll do it, before Nia wants the final draft.”

“Sounds reasonable. Shall we get going? Exhibitions usually don’t offer much food. Fancy some nourishment?” Anya stood and waited for Lexa’s decision.

“Ok. Not sure I can eat but I’ll accompany you. I scratch your back and you’ll scratch mine?” The brunette rose as well and walked towards the door.

“That my dear friend is just a minor compensation of what I’ve been through the last week and a half.” Anya laughed and pulled Lexa into a hug, while they left the office.

# ***

Opening night always held an air of bounciness and brightness. Clarke loved the first night. Artists were excited and euphoric and Kane adopted a jovial and ecstatic mood. She lived for these nights, especially after all the work she had done to organise and arrange everything. It wasn’t her first show to coordinate and participate, she’d done plenty, but this time Kane had left it to her to decide who, what and where. She was responsible for everything tonight. Clarke wasn’t shy but this kind of attention always affected her nerves.

“You’ll be fine!” Octavia tried to calm her.

“Get her some alcohol.” Raven commented.

“I think she had enough of that already.” Monty observed.

“Never enough.” Jasper encouraged.

“How about we leave her alone for a second?” Maya threw into the mix.

Clarke looked at her thankfully and sat down at the little table in the back of the gallery, studying her hands. As she had ordered some nibbles at Jasper&Monty’s, it was easy to persuade Kane to let her friends enter early to set up the buffet. Unbeknownst to Clarke, the restaurant owners brought half their menu, explaining it with ‘hungry doesn’t buy’. They left her alone and mingled with some of the artists who had come in early as well, to prepare for possible buyers. No one expected them to run a show on their own, but explanations on how their art had been created and why it had been chosen were greatly anticipated and helped sell their work.

“Are you ready?” Kane came from the back room, after checking the safety of the remaining art, which hadn’t fitted in Clarke’s exhibition idea.

“As ready as I’ll be.” She replied nervously.

“You’ll do just fine. No big words needed.” He said optimistically.

They walked to the front and after one last deep breath Clarke opened the doors to the gallery and a few people, who had been waiting, slowly walked in. Clarke personally greeted them with a smile, a handshake and a ‘thank you for coming’, before being left their own to explore the various rooms of the gallery. It was half an hour later when she clinked her glass for attention.

“Good evening.” She said warmly, waiting for people to acknowledge her. “Welcome to ArkArt and to our newest exhibition, themed ‘local inspirations’. My name is Clarke Griffin. I’m the gallery manager and this is Marcus Kane, the owner.” She gestured to the man next to her and waited for the little applause to settle before continuing. “This is our quarterly event for young talent to show their work and we are proud to showcase various different kinds of art tonight. You’ll see paintings, drawings, sculptures and art installations. The artists are here to answer any questions you might have and in case you’re interested in my art please let me know. Now, without further ado, have a pleasant evening and please help yourself to the buffet, kindly sponsored by ‘Jasper&Monty’s’.” People clapped politely again and started to disperse into the depth of the gallery. Clarke, clearly relieved, smiled at Kane and emptied her glass before heading over to her friends.

“Good speech.” Raven playfully patted her on her back.

“Well, Kane said I should keep it simple.” She quickly inhaled some crackers. “Ok, I’m going to mingle as well, hit me up if you need me.” She said and disappeared into the crowd. Clarke tried her best to not look out for a certain someone who should have been here with her. She sighed disappointingly at the fact that her daydream of walking through the gallery with Lexa’s hand in hers was just that, a dream, when she spotted her walking towards the entrance. Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the beauty that was Lexa before she schooled her facial expression into an illegible mask. She debated for a second to disappear and make her wait, but her need for knowing what was going to happen was bigger and she slowly walked towards her.

Lexa hesitantly entered the place, Anya shoving her halfway through the door. She dreaded the upcoming conversation for Clarke’s decision. When she saw her walking towards them, she stepped slightly back and onto Anya’s foot.

“Damnit Lex. Woman the hell up and get your girl!” She hissed and pushed Lexa forward, who stumbled but didn’t lose her balance. Clarke had stopped a few meters away, unsure if she should approach further or not as Lexa clearly didn’t want to be here. They eyed each other hesitantly, emotions playing over their faces as both women closed the distance slowly. When they were within earshot, Lexa spoke first.

“I am so sorry for everything.” She stopped and searched in blue eyes for any sign of how Clarke felt. “I’m sorry and I know, I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know. “ Clarke said calmly, waiting for Lexa to go on.

“Oh ok.” Lexa took a step closer and reached out to hold Clarke’s hand. “You’ve asked me to make up my mind.” Clarke nodded, preparing herself for the answer. “Thing is, I never needed time to make up my mind. I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you. I want to cook dinner with you and fall asleep with you in my arms. I want all of it. I want you.” She finished, almost in a whisper. Clarke only waited a heartbeat before launching herself into Lexa’s arms and pressing her mouth onto her lips. It was an emotional kiss, filled with hope of better times and regret for the missed hours, but it was over before it could be deepened, as both were aware of their surroundings. They hugged and Clarke nestled her nose into Lexa’s neck, breathing in deeply and placing a small kiss onto the throbbing vein she found there, before she whispered against the skin. “You’ve hurt me Lexa and we’ll have to talk soon. For now, I’m just incredibly happy you still want to be with me.” Lexa nodded and pushed Clarke’s face back to look at her.

“Does that mean you still want me too?” Clarke’s gaze flickered over Lexa’s eyes before she settled on her mouth and leaned in to capture her lips once more. “Yes.” She breathed and Lexa smiled widely, not believing how blessed she was, that Clarke still wanted to be with her. She leaned in and peppered her face with tiny kisses, which made Clarke laugh out.

“Ok ok…” She pushed herself out of Lexa’s embrace and straightened her blouse. “Have a look around? I need to be present for a little while. I’ll come and find you and then you can tell me where you got that injury from.” She softly ran a finger over Lexa’s bruised lip.

Lexa reluctantly let go of her hand and sauntered over to Anya, who had joined Clarke’s friends.

“And?” She asked as soon as Lexa settled on a barstool next to her.

“We’ll talk later, but she still wants to be with me.” Lexa whispered happily.

“I’m glad.” She whispered back. “Now go and get us some alcohol.” She said louder, catching the attention of the rest of the group. Lexa smiled apologetically at Raven and Octavia. “I’m sorry guys.”

“It’s up to her.” Octavia shrugged, clearly showing some trust issues.

“Don’t screw up again.” Raven exclaimed with a raised eyebrow.

Lexa looked at them for moment longer, before reassuring. “Won’t happen, if I have a say in it.” She then stood up and asked. “Champagne anyone?” 6 hands shot up promptly and Lexa laughed at their eager faces. “Ok, coming up.” She walked through the gallery and approached the makeshift bar and picked up a tray and 8 glasses. She carefully made her way back to the group and handed out the beverages.

“To Clarke’s success.” She said and lifted her arm.

“To Clarke’s success.” They repeated and clinked glasses. After a short appreciation of the bubbly liquid they started talking about various things. Lexa asked Monty and Jasper about their restaurant and Octavia and Raven pelted Anya with questions about her friendship with Lexa.

“We met ages ago. Can’t really remember. I think this little devil broke my nose and we’ve been friends ever since.” Anya laughed and nudged Lexa who had been listening to Monty’s tale and raised an eyebrow at that. But before Anya could explain, Lexa felt two arms sneak around her waist and warm lips on her neck. She moaned quietly and slumped slightly into Clarke’s embrace before she caught herself and smiled ashamedly at Clarke’s friends.

“I really missed you.” Lexa said quietly and turned in Clarke’s arms to hug her tightly.

“I wish this exhibition wasn’t happening today but well… what are you doing later?” Clarke asked suggestively, picking up a full glass from the table.

“Apologising over and over to my girlfriend for hurting her?” Lexa replied seriously.

Clarke looked into sincere eyes and nodded. “Come here.” She pulled her away from their friends. “I want to tell you something.” She said and guided her to the back of the gallery, but was stopped by a cold hand on her arm.

“Ms Griffin? A word for the press?”

Lexa froze in her tracks and yanked Clarke to an abrupt stop. The blonde felt the grip on her hand tighten. She looked from the woman who had approached them to her girlfriend and saw fear in the deep green eyes.

“Lexa? What’s wrong? Babe?” She turned completely to face her, ignoring the other woman.

“That’s interesting!” Another voice from behind them stepped closer and Lexa turned her head so quickly, she felt her joints click. Clarke looked over Lexa at the other woman. She then pointed at the one who had spoken first. “I know her. She asked for an interview. I don’t know you.” She gestured back to the second woman.

“Mm, interesting. Lexa? Do you want to tell your girlfriend who I am?”

Lexa opened her mouth and closed it again too shocked to react, while Clarke looked more confused than ever. “Where do you know her from?” The blonde asked tentatively.

“Seems she has lost her words. Well then, Ms Griffin, my name is Nia Izard. I’m an editor at Nib&Scroll.”

“Isn’t that where you work too Lexa?”

“Yes it is.” Nia answered instead. “Now Lexa. What would Clarke say if she was to learn what you’ve been up to?”

Lexa’s eyes widened further and she quickly scanned the room for Anya, but couldn’t see her. She turned back and tried desperately to pull Clarke away but she wouldn’t budge, and instead slowly turned to face her with a worried expression. “What did you do Lexa?”

“Clarke. I -” Lexa started but was interrupted quickly.

“Little Lexa here had a bet going.” Nia laughed and cleared her throat. “How to lose someone in 10 days by Lexa Woods.” She read off a paper in her hands.

“What?” Clarke furrowed her brows deeply. “What does this mean?” She turned again to Lexa, but Nia continued, ignoring everyone but the emotion forming and transforming in front of her.

“Have you ever wondered what might be the biggest cliché, the most awful quirk or the worst obsession one could fulfil or possess to reject, push away or disgust a potential love interest? I have and thus decided to explore a few myself.” She paused and Clarke’s eyes widened in realisation. She let the hand, which clung to hers, fall away and started shaking her head, not believing what she was being told. Lexa tried desperately to grab the hand back, to pull Clarke away, but she was left with nothing but air between her fingers. She looked up into Clarke’s face and saw tears forming in her eyes, and she took in a shattering breath and stepped closer.

“Clarke, please listen to me -”

“The requirements of this self-inflicted experiment are the following.” Nia interrupted Lexa again, sneering at the devastation palpable in both women’s features. She went on reading, whilst silent tears made their path over pale cheeks. Lexa tried to step closer again but Clarke pushed her away. “Find someone, get them to date you and then unleash the aforementioned negativities.” A glass fell to the floor and burst into a million tiny pieces and Lexa looked at the ground and then to Clarke’s now empty hand. The sound evoked interest in the people close by and they slowly gathered around the quartet, which alarmed the group of friends.

“Lexa are you ok?” Anya ran over to her friend and when she looked around she saw Nia standing next to Echo and her blood started boiling immediately.

“Oh no! What the hell did she say?” She turned back to Lexa who still looked at Clarke with a bouquet of emotions ranging from sorrow and grief over to apologetic and guilty to ‘please forgive me’, but the blonde’s stare was merciless.

“Apparently, and I’m sure this will shock you just as much as it has me because otherwise I’d assume you have been part of this charade, Lexa wasn’t dumped by the girl.”

Octavia and Raven looked confused from Anya to Lexa and walked around the group to Clarke. “Hey, what happened? Are you ok?” The blonde finally stirred out of her shock and broke the eye contact with Lexa to draw in a wavering breath. “She had a bet going.”

“Her too?” Raven exclaimed in surprise, which had Anya whip her head around and glare at Raven.

“What do you mean by ‘her too’?”

“Oh my, this gets more and more interesting.” Nia celebrated, pushing Echo further into the group so she could tape the whole disaster. ‘If she couldn’t get rid of Lexa, she could at least spice up the story. It should sell well and if Lexa got hurt along the way even better. If this overachieving little shit hadn’t stepped into her life, her job wouldn’t be at risk,’ she mused to herself while cheerfully watching the scene unfold in front of her.

“Um…” Raven looked frantically around for someone to help out but Octavia was focused on comforting Clarke, who looked down at the floor knitting and knotting her hands to distract herself from the imminent disaster.

“Raven, I asked you -” Anya stepped closer but was interrupted by Clarke holding up one hand.

“Yes, ok. It’s true.” She started speaking, pushing Octavia’s hands off of her and stepped closer to Lexa. “I had a bet too.” She admitted and watched Lexa’s eyes widen. “A drunken bet. Raven challenged me to find someone and make them fall in love with me.” Lexa furrowed her brows and folded her arms in front of her, surprised by the turn of events, but she kept quiet. “You want to know the irony though?” Clarke continued without waiting for a reaction. “Instead of that ‘someone’, it was I who fell in love. I know it was wrong to bet on something like that, but when I met you, I fell for you. I fucking fell in love with you Lexa and I quit the bet prematurely.” Lexa’s face lightened up at her admission and she lifted her palm to caress Clarke’s cheek and return the sentiment, but Clarke moved her face out of reach. Octavia stepped closer to the blonde, trying to support her, but Clarke realised at this moment the extension of the truth. “Modern psychology, huh? Fuck, now everything makes sense!” She growled lowly. “The morning at the mountain, you acted all of it and made me think I was an awful person for wanting to kiss you? And the day in the gallery, you tried to get me fired?” Lexa’s face fell and she tried to interrupt to explain but was shut down almost immediately. “And at Raven’s? All staged again to make me break up with you? And your sad little story of your horrible ex was just to reel me in, make me feel safe to sleep with you so you could hurt me some more?” Clarke stopped and took in a deep breath, whilst Lexa opened her mouth to address the accusations. However, before she could speak up Clarke stepped impossibly close and Lexa’s eyes widened in horror upon seeing the hate in those deep blue eyes. Clarke’s piercing glare successfully stopped any response from Lexa and the blonde slowly articulated her final words. “Guess what, you win. We’re done. I’m done with you.” Clarke turned around and walked quickly into the back of the gallery away from the traitor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you all go ballistic on me, I just want to point out; the story is based on a movie called ‘How to lose a guy in 10 days’ and I’ll stick to the rough plot.   
> I’ve taken creative liberty where I could throughout the story and will continue to do so, but the big picture was set from the beginning. 
> 
> Furthermore, this is not the end of the story!! You’ll be spoiled with two more chapters, which will be 10k and I can’t wait for you to read them! Have a little faith in me.
> 
> Ok, that’s it from me; I’m waiting patiently for your comments. Let me know, what you think, but please keep it civil. Cheers and till next week. J


	14. Tears are words that the heart can’t say

# Tears are words that the heart can’t say

 

“Clarke!” Lexa called out desperately and tried to run after the blonde but was stopped by Raven’s painful grip around her arm. Anya was too baffled about what she had just learned in the last 5 minutes and stayed silent her gaze flickering from Raven to Octavia, who had stepped closer to Lexa.

“Fuck you Lexa! How dare you play with her? After all she’s told you? How could you?” Octavia spat out with fire in her fierce eyes before she turned around and followed Clarke. Lexa tried to free herself from the tight hold, but Raven responded by twirling her around, and she nearly lost her balance.

“I trusted you! You lied to me!” Raven growled and stepped closer. “I told you what would happen if you hurt my family.” She said intimidatingly. Lexa heard the warning but couldn’t prepare quickly enough for the sound impact of the flat hand against her face. She stumbled back, eyes wide, and an angry red imprint of Raven’s fingers forming on her cheek. “How could you fucking do that to her?”

“Hey!” Anya finally tuned in, catching her friend as she stumbled into her. She put her body between Raven and Lexa. “Get a grip! You’re a fine one to talk, what about your bet?” Holding the brunette back.

“Are you deaf? She told you, she quit the bet a couple of days ago.” Raven spat out.

"And that makes it magically ok now?" She growled as Raven's angry expression slipped for a fraction of a second, as she considered Anya's words, but the guilt was almost immediately quenched with the hate towards Lexa's actions.

"It makes it ok, cos she didn't hurt her."

"How do you know?"

“Anya it’s ok.” Lexa squeezed past her, successfully stopping the quarrel and faced Raven. “I’m sorry. I -” She started, but the anger and fury in the dark haired woman’s eyes silenced her immediately.

“You don’t get to say sorry. You don’t get to do anything. Get out.” She unequivocally pointed to the entrance. When Lexa didn’t move she pushed hard against her shoulders and the writer was forced to take a step backwards for balance.

“Raven! For fucks sake!” Anya tried to stop the assault once more by wedging her hands between the two women.

“Yeah Ray. Come on.” Out of nowhere, Jasper appeared and put an arm around the furious woman.

“GET. OUT!” She yelled, before folding her arms and widening her stance indicating there was no way past her and no chance to talk to Clarke.

“Come on Lex. Let’s go.” Anya coaxed her, but Lexa stood completely still, eyes focused on the back of the gallery past Raven. “Fucking hell.” Anya murmured and looked around for help, when her gaze fell onto Echo and Nia, who grinned widely at the display.

“Are you fucking happy now? What the fuck has she done to deserve your hate? Oh that’s right, she is brilliant at her job and has excelled in everything and that bugs you!” Nia’s smile froze on her lips and she angrily glanced from Lexa back to Anya. “Yeah, and you want to know what else we know? You’re a fucking joke who’s unable to do her job.”

Nia opened her mouth, but Echo interrupted. “I suggest we take this elsewhere.”

“Yeah? **You** suggest? Well, go to hell! You just destroyed my best friend’s life and I’m going to make you pay for that! Both of you fucking bitches!” Anya spat out in disgust not caring for the scene she was making and wheeled around to focus back on the trembling brunette. “Come on Lex. I’ve got you.” She whispered and started walking out of the gallery, one strong arm around Lexa’s waist to pull her along, when she looked back over her shoulder and pointed her free hand at Nia. “Enjoy your days. They’re numbered!” She yelled and quickly glanced over to Raven who had a puzzled look on her face, but had schooled her features back to angry when she’d met Anya’s stare.

When they finally stepped over the threshold into the cold night Lexa faltered and slumped to the ground, letting out a heart-breaking cry, that sounded like ‘Clarke’, before collapsing completely and succumbing to a crying fit with sobs violently rocking her whole body.

“Damnit.” Anya crouched down and tried to talk to her but she didn’t react, her eyes were squeezed tightly shut.

“You need help?” A foreign voice offered.

Anya hadn’t realised someone had stepped closer to them and looked up in surprise to see one of the guys who had been amongst Clarke’s friends leaning over Lexa watching her with concern.

“Yeah, could you help me get her to the car?”

He nodded and put his hands carefully under Lexa’s left arm, whilst Anya did the same on the other side. They lifted the broken creature off the asphalt and carried her as quickly as possible to the vehicle. Lexa struggled in their grip. She called out for Clarke and cried ‘I’m sorry!’ so many times, Anya lost count. When she was finally strapped into the passenger seat, Anya exhaled slowly and closed the door.

“Listen.” She turned to the young man who eyed her curiously. “Thanks for your help. If you get to talk to Clarke can you ask her to let Lexa explain what happened, please?”

“I sense there is more to the situation than meets the eye, but she’s always been a stubborn woman and if I ask her to do that, she’ll never give Lexa a chance.” Anya nodded in understanding, before he continued. “I’m not sure I should say this, especially about someone who seems to have cruelly played with my friend’s heart.” He paused and looked at Lexa, who was still crying with her head hung low and her hair covering her face, hiding it efficiently from prying eyes. “Anyway, I had the feeling Lexa liked Clarke? So I’m hoping this whole disaster will eventually unravel and become clear. Besides, I didn’t know anything about the other bet. Seems she has a right to be angry as well.” He gestured at the car and then glanced at Anya waiting for a response.

“She loves Clarke. She is in love with her.” Anya clarified. “This whole thing is really difficult and can’t be simply explained like that, hence me asking for the possibility of Lexa to explain everything, once they’re able to meet again. About the other bet, I’m sure she’ll deal with it when she can. She’s too heartbroken right now to care about it.”

“I see.” He finally said after a moment. “Well, in that case let’s hope time will heal all wounds.” He wished her goodbye and walked back to the gallery, where his other friends had watched the scene. He stepped through the door and nodded his head to Raven, who relaxed her dismissive stance. With one last glare the brunette walked off to the back of the premises followed by the group and out of Anya’s sight, who, in the meantime, had walked around the front of the vehicle. She sighed again before climbing in to drive them back to their place.

# ***

“Clarke? Please talk to me.” Octavia approached the woman, who paced the length of the room like a caged animal.

“I can’t believe it. I can’t fucking believe it. She played me this whole time.” Clarke yelled in anger and furiously hit her fist against the wall. “I can’t believe I’ve been so fucking blind, so goddamn idiotic to fall for her game. So stupidly naïve to fall in love with her. To let her touch me so deeply.” Clarke started to sob. “Why did she do this to me? To us?” She cried out and let herself fall onto the floor. “Why?” She choked on her tears.

“Shit, I...” Octavia stepped closer and put her arm around the blonde’s shoulder. ”I don’t know.”

“She…” Clarke couldn’t form a sentence through the violent sobs rocking her body. “She did…” She tried to take in some air, but her throat felt restricted and her lean body was tense with distress. Despair was etched all over her face. She was panting heavily now and Octavia could see the rapid throbbing of her jugular vein under her pale skin. Without thinking twice she ran back into the gallery and bumped into Raven who had come looking for them.

“Rae, get a plastic bag or something. She’s hyperventilating.” She nearly screamed.

“Damn!” Raven turned on her heel and ran back inside, whilst Octavia rushed back over towards the blonde, who had started to panic, trying desperately to get air into her lungs.

“Clarke! Calm down. Sssh, come one. Try. For me.” Octavia sat herself right in front of Clarke, locking eyes with her friend, who coughed and frantically tried to suck in air to no avail. “Clarke, please!” Octavia was starting to panic when Raven came back and pushed a bag into Clarke’s hands. The blonde crumpled the plastic sack against her chest unable to do anything with it, whilst wheezing and gasping in need for oxygen. Octavia snatched it out of her clutch, stood up quickly and moved around the blonde to sit behind Clarke, as Raven took over her previous position in front of the blonde and forced her to look at her by fixing her chin in her hand before helping Octavia to pull the bag over Clarke’s nose and mouth. They stayed like that for some long minutes. Clarke slowly but surely breathed in deeper with each intake of air, whilst Raven whispered soothing words and Octavia drew calming circles on her back. Octavia fixed her gaze on Raven and shook her head in disbelief at the evening’s events. After a while the blonde pushed the bag off her face and let her body collapse into Raven’s lap, crawling further into her friend, her erratic breathing steadying slowly with each intake. They let her calm for some time, before she stirred and struggled to get out of Raven’s embrace. Clarke pushed up and started walking aimlessly again. Hands locked in her hair; she walked up and down the room, agitated and restless. Up and down. Down and up. Gaze fixed on the wooden planks covering the ground, jaw clenched closed. Her two friends sat in silence and watched her carefully. They knew her well enough to let her walk it off. She’d be in her own little world for a while, so they turned to each other.

“Fuck O! That was the worst attack she’s ever had!” Raven whispered.

“I know. Fucking Lexa and her disgusting bet.” Octavia quietly replied, anger evident in her words.

“How could she do that?” Raven’s eyes still followed the blonde’s movements, repeating her friend’s question from earlier. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know and I don’t care. Look at her Raven?” She pointed to Clarke still restlessly walking. “She’s back in this loop.”

“I know. I wish I could have done more than slapped the bitch.”

“You hit her?”

Raven eyed her angrily. “If Anya hadn’t interfered I’d have killed her. I swear!”

Octavia ignored Raven’s comment knowing it was an empty threat.

“What are we doing with Clarke?” Raven asked after a moment of silence between them.

“What we’ve always done. Take her to yours.”

Raven nodded and got up, when Monty walked over to her. He had waited for Clarke to calm down again.

“How is she?”

“Just got through her worst panic attack ever. And by that I mean her first for the night. I’m sure there’ll be more to come.”

“You need help?” Jasper walked up to his friends.

“Can you get the car?” She fumbled with the keys and handed them over. “We’re taking her to mine. O and I can handle the rest.” He agreed, and walked through the gallery to get the car set up front.

“Someone should talk to Kane and explain the situation.” Monty said evenly.

“I’ll go, you guys watch her.” Raven walked back into the gallery in search of Clarke’s boss.

“Clarke?” Octavia walked over to the blonde who had stopped walking and started to pant again. “Please calm down.”

“W -” She gasped. “Why?” She finally pressed through her clenched jaw.

“Sssh. Don’t speak just try to focus on your breathing.”

Clarke turned away from her, before she bent down and let out a heart-breaking scream before her crying took control over her body and she collapsed onto the ground again.

“She’s fucked.” Octavia raked her hands through her hair and let out a frustrating sigh.

“Both of them are.” Monty added calmly, bravely facing Octavia’s death glare.

“Don’t be fucking Switzerland Green!” She warned and walked over to Clarke.

# ***

The whole ride home Lexa stared apathetically out of the window, whilst chewing on her nails making her fingers bleed. She welcomed the physical pain to drown out her emotional agony. Never would she have expected to see so much anger in Clarke’s eyes, so much wrath and fury. Especially not, mere seconds after admitting she was in love with her. Lexa found it hard to process the emotional force of Clarke’s words, although she should have seen it coming. She should have prepared herself for words as sharp as metal cutting into her flesh and inflicting pain just like a knife plunged forcefully and repeatedly into her heart. Alas, she hadn’t been ready. The hope had been too strong to let any doubt of a future with the artist besmirching the happy picture Lexa had drawn in her head. The reality came crashing down once Anya had managed to get her out of the car and up into their apartment.

“She hates me now.” Lexa whispered hollow into the void of the living room. Anya had been busy making tea, when she heard Lexa speaking. She returned slowly and sat down next to her on the couch.

“I don’t think that’s true.” She answered carefully. “She’s hurt. So are you.”

“I did this. I’ve hurt her.” Lexa let the pain consume her, tears flowing freely over her face falling into her lap, desperate gulps of air disturbing the otherwise silent room.

“Nia did it.” Anya said after a while, but Lexa shook her head unwilling to accept another’s involvement in it.

“I could have walked away.” She managed between wavering breaths. “I should have walked away.” She repeated more convincingly.

“I’m just as guilty.” Anya admitted pushing a cup of tea into Lexa’s cold hands. “Besides, what about Clarke? She had a bet as well? You heard that right?”

Lexa clenched her jaw and looked away, biting down hard. She remained silent, but Anya waited patiently. After some minutes Lexa focused her gaze back on her friend and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“Well, are you angry?”

“No. Disappointed I guess.” Lexa sipped her tea, trying to dissect her feelings. “The whole time I thought she’d fought so hard for us because she was convinced I was worth it, but it seemed like she was only trying to win her bet.” Her voice broke at the end and she inhaled deeply to not fall apart further.

"Why aren't you angry? She made you fall in love with her. She was all you wanted her to be. Super sweet, super interested and extra super forgiving. How do you even know you've fallen for the real her?"

"I know the real Clarke cos we talked about our lives. She told me about her past, about her feelings. Besides, if I hadn't believed her, I knew she'd told me the truth latest when I had the talk with Raven."

“Yeah, and she did give up to be with you.” Anya interrupted.

“I know. That’s why I can’t be angry with her.” Lexa answered, tears rolling down her cheeks. “If I got it right, she fell in love with me and couldn’t play any more games. I wish I could have been in the same boat. God, I -” Lexa interrupted her rant and raked one hand through her long, unplaited strands. “I really wish this bet would be the only thing between us right now, because she didn’t do anything wrong. She’d tried to keep me, despite all the things I did; even if in the beginning she’d done it because of the bet, in the end she wanted me. She said she loved me.” Lexa shook her head, wiping away the tears.

“So everything is good because she fell in love with you? Why isn’t it the same for you? Why didn’t you just call out to her, that you love her too?” Anya said playing the devil’s advocate.

“I can’t think of that right now.” Lexa set down the cup and stood up. “I’m in the wrong. I did wrong by agreeing to write the article.” She couldn’t sit anymore. “I…” She moved towards her bedroom and turned back to face her friend. “I need to walk away now.”

“You could try to talk to her.”

“She hates me.” Lexa repeated her earlier words whilst entering her room.

“She loves you, how can she hate you?” The blonde called out from the couch.

“Please Anya.” She begged. “I can’t do this. I can’t stay here. I’d suffocate if I stayed.”

Lexa started randomly throwing clothes into a bag, when Anya appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching her. She knew when to stop pushing and accepted her friend’s need for leaving. “Will you come back?” She asked after a moment of silence only disturbed by Lexa’s sobs.

They looked at each other, both knowing the validity of the question. It wasn’t the first time Lexa had used the excuse of taking a walk to run away and disappear.

“Probably.” Lexa reluctantly replied.

“Please come back home.” Anya knew there was no chance to make Lexa stay, but she wanted to make her promise to come back. “You’ll always have me.” She stressed out, wanting Lexa to understand her sincerity.

“Ok.” Lexa nodded. “I’ll be in touch.” She said and passed Anya, who silently watched her leave. “Message me if you need anything.” She called after the girl, who lifted her thumb in understanding and closed the door behind her.

# ***

Raven and Octavia had had to stop twice on their way to Raven’s house to accommodate Clarke’s panic attacks. They were less severe than the one at the gallery, but needed attention nevertheless. Clarke felt exhausted, but couldn’t stop her body to falling from one attack to another. It was on autopilot and did what it wanted. She watched helplessly as panic took over once more upon realising Lexa had played her. Had used her and betrayed everything the blonde had thought was sacred to her. She felt the hot pain deep inside her body spreading through her and leaving her breathless. She panted and feared her heart would explode anytime soon. She felt hands on her back and shoulder but couldn’t hear anything past the rush of her blood in her ears. She felt the damn bag around her mouth again and rolled her eyes back. She was so tired of this, but it helped and she knew it. Her breathing eventually slowed down, and so did her heartrate. She was able to hear her friends talking slowly to her. She picked up single words such as ‘good’ and ‘breathe’ and ‘calm’. She pushed the plastic off her mouth once more and looked at Octavia, who smiled hesitantly at her. “Hi.” The brunette tried, fixing some loose strands of blonde hair behind her ear. Clarke just kept looking, eyes unfocused flickering between Octavia’s. “Stay with me, Clarke.” Octavia uttered and caressed Clarke’s cheek. “Stay with me.” She nodded and focused on her breathing, when Raven parked up in front of her home. They helped Clarke out of the car and into the house. Whilst Raven busied herself with preparing tea, Octavia helped Clarke into the guestroom and onto the bed. She crawled up next to her friend and took her into her arms, Clarke’s face came to rest against her neck and the brunette felt hot tears running down her skin. She didn’t mind. She knew Clarke’s coping mechanism had always been crying. She needed to cry to avoid her anxiety taking her hostage. Ever since her dad had died, she’d suffered from panic attacks. She’d never learned how to deal with the loss of loved ones. Not with her dad and not with her mom, when she’d kicked her out. It was either crying with occasional screaming or suffocating. Literally.

This time it wasn’t any different. Clarke wouldn’t talk. She never did. She just cried, and Octavia or Raven would hold her and let her be.

# ***

Lexa left Arkadia without looking back. She contemplated driving her car over a cliff into the ocean a few hours away, but couldn’t bring herself to do that to Anya. She stuck to her decision to go to her hideout place. She owned a tiny cabin close to a forest 2 hours away from Arkadia and headed towards it. She’d bought it years ago as a place to retire to when she would be a self-employed author. She drove in silence and welcomed the numbness taking over her body. She felt cold and almost dislodged from herself.

When she arrived, she walked through her backyard to where she had built an outdoor gym with a hanging stack of tires to hit and kick, and went straight for the first punch. Her bare hand flew purposefully against the rubber and upon contact she felt the force against her fist reverberating into her arm and shoulder. She bit down onto her lower lip to prevent herself from crying out in pain. She deserved this. She needed this. Lexa kept going. Another hit with her other hand and she hissed at the breaking of her skin over her knuckles but didn’t stop. She alternated between her two hands until they were bloody and stiff. Lexa still couldn’t stop and started kicking the tire stack forcefully with her left leg, making the tires rattle against the chains. She kicked and screamed and yelled and pushed with all her might until exhaustion finally let her collapse onto the ground, breathing heavily and feeling physically as bruised and battered as she was emotionally.

# ***

_Day 1 after the exhibition_

Clarke woke up to a dark room. She had lost all sense of time and it took her a few seconds until she recognised her whereabouts. She turned and felt the presence of another body next to her and for a split second, she thought it was Lexa and a smile spread over her face, which fell just as quickly when she realised it wasn’t her. Lexa had betrayed her, had used her to get a story. Clarke quickly sat up and scrambled out of the bed towards the bathroom before she sank onto her knees and heaved up. Her sudden movement had woken both Octavia, who had slept next to the blonde, and Raven who had rested in an armchair. Both made their way over to the bathroom and settled next to her.

“Clarke. Please relax.” Octavia tried, feeling like a broken record. She knew it wasn’t what Clarke needed to hear but she couldn’t bring herself to lie and tell her all would be good, if in reality it wouldn’t be. After a while of dry gagging she let herself fall onto the cold tiles and whimpered. Her friends exchanged a look and stepped up to each side of her and lifted the fragile form off the floor and back to the bed. They brought her tea and some biscuits and let her drift off, or cry or scream, whatever she needed to do, as they simply didn’t know what else was there to help. They knew the next couple of days would be the same. Raven had called in sick and Octavia had managed to rearrange the rota at the gym. She had enough students working for her to take off a day or two. Their combined focus laid on Clarke and her well-being.

By the end of the first day, Clarke had managed to keep some food down but her brain couldn’t switch off from the same question circling through her mind back and forth.

“Why did she do that to me?” She voiced the thought. Octavia sighed helplessly. She couldn’t answer the question the first ten times Clarke had asked.

“I don’t know sweetheart.”

“’Cos she’s an asshole.” Raven blundered out exhaustedly. “A fucking asshole.” Octavia nodded along. Clarke scoffed but kept quiet for a long time after the short exchange, again submerged in her own world of confusion and bitterness. Her friends turned back to the TV to give her time. It usually worked well for the three of them. They were simply there for each other. Around but not crowding each other. Close by but not in each other’s faces.

‘Why did she do it? Why? Why? Why?’ Clarke felt frustrated for the lack of an answer. She couldn’t understand what had happened. One moment she had been happily in love and about to proclaim said feeling and the next second the rug under her feet had been pulled by a stranger and the world she thought she’d known had vanished to a cold, unwavering hell. Clarke felt her brain ache. Had she really been so blind to not see what was happening? Had Lexa really been so cold to be able to use her like that?

The anxiety episode came suddenly and forcefully. Octavia was out of her seat and quick to adjust the bag over Clarke’s mouth and nose. It lasted longer than the others though. She fought against it, and it looked like she wanted to give up. Clarke had had enough of it all. She just wanted to stop hurting so badly.

“Clarke, stop pushing me away. You know you won’t succeed.” Octavia grew angry at the blonde’s antics. “Raven, get her some sleeping pills.” She huffed out frustratingly. She hated drugging her, but at the moment they needed to do it in order to keep her out of harm’s reach. Expectantly, the process of convincing Clarke to take the tablets was even more difficult. She hated medication per se and she didn’t understand why Octavia was trying to force her. A few minutes past with them struggling with each other, before they manged to trap the blonde’s flailing arms and secured them against her body.

“Listen Clarke. I know you don’t like it but this is for your own good. You’ll be able to rest and switch off. Aren’t you tired of the same thoughts in your head again and again?” Clarke stopped struggling.

“Ok. At last.” Raven said, exchanging a meaningful look with Octavia. Both brunettes’ faces turned quickly back to Clarke, when cold fingers picked up the pills out of Octavia’s hand and the water out of Raven’s, and watched her gulped them down. Clarke then stood up, expressionless, and climbed the stairs to the bedroom.

“You think she’ll be ok?” Raven whispered with her gaze still on the stairwell.

“I hope so.” Octavia replied quietly.

They switched off the TV and followed their friend back upstairs.

# ***

Lexa groaned loudly and turned from her hurting side onto her back, but the pain didn’t subside. She bit down hard on her lower lip and felt the skin breaking before tasting the well-known iron flavour of her blood. She licked over the flesh and rolled her lips into her mouth whilst starring up into the dark sky, a tiny hint of dawn visible at the horizon. She must have passed out after her intense fight with the tire stack. She couldn’t feel her body, too cold and numb from lying on the wooden ground for way too long. Lexa turned with great effort onto her stomach and pushed herself up into a seating position on her knees, before running her hands over her face and through her hair. She sat for a long time, rocking back and forth not bothering her legs tingled and ached due to the blockage of the blood supply. She welcomed this pain. She was used to this pain. It made her feel alive as her heart felt frozen and dead. The memory of last night flooded her consciousness and she bent over in pain and screamed agonizingly into the forsaken dawn. She wished she had taken some alcohol with her to numb her head and kill the cruel thoughts and bitter emotions, but she didn’t think straight before she arrived here. She wasn’t even sure she had any food in the cabin. Lexa shrugged at the realisation and mumbled to herself, “Fucking serves me right if I die here alone.”

 

The sun was well up and shone warmly down on the small figure still on the ground, curled up in a foetal position. She couldn’t care to move, she couldn’t find the motivation to get up. Giving up was always easier than fighting. She found it easier to believe she wasn’t worth anything and didn’t deserve much, than anticipating the fact that people cared about her. Her parents left her when she was little and her first love turned her back on her as soon as she wasn’t needed anymore. She should have never let Clarke be able to get so close to her. She should have never let her in. She fucked up the moment she fell in love.

If she had been honest about her work and explained everything, she might have been able to avoid all the pain she had caused, Lexa thought, but Anya would have lost her job if she had opened up. Whatever the outcome of the story one of the people she loved would have gotten hurt. Either way, she could only lose. Lexa huffed out angrily and rolled over to kick at the lowest tire.

“Fucking Nia!” She yelled with a powerful kick rattling the chains holding up the construction.

“Fuck you bitch!” She screamed. Another kick.

“I fucking hate you!” She shouted at the top of her lungs before letting a burst of kicks raining down the stack. She was so angry and furious. She felt so broken and helpless, and nothing she did could change the vast emptiness holding her body in a tight claw. Lexa stopped kicking and got up to serve one final blow against the rubber before turning back to her car to retrieve her duffel bag. She looked around, still breathing heavily, still feeling the cold and numbness after her night out, still feeling the pain – physically in her sore body, emotionally in her destroyed heart. She sighed, locked the door and walked over to enter her cabin. It was dark because she’d left the curtains shut the last time she’d visited. She liked it dark. The place was completely built out of wood, which was on display inside and out. It made it almost look like a cavern or a cave. Dark and forgotten and that was all Lexa wanted to do – forget. She undressed and walked into her shower, intending to never emerge from it again. After a long time, with many wasted gallons of hot water and an unhealthy red colour to her pale skin she decided to turn off the stream and finally step out into the cold of her shack. She dried herself off, put on some sweatpants and a shirt and crawled into her bed, not caring about anything but the emotions boiling under her skin threatening to burst her open and bleed her out. Lexa clenched her jaw forcefully, desperately trying to keep it together, unwilling to let go, as she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to ever stop, if she did. She lost the fight and sobs bubbled up her throat and forced themselves out of her mouth in a guttural cry. She turned her face into her pillow and cried until exhaustion took over and granted her rest for a little while.

# ***

_Week 1 after the exhibition_

The first three days after Clarke had learned of Lexa’s assignment went by like the first. She would wake and throw up almost immediately upon realising it wasn’t a nightmare but her life. Either Octavia or Raven would then find her on the cold floor crying or eerily staring at the ceiling. At times of her crying she missed Lexa so much that it physically hurt and the times she stared she tried to understand the betrayal.

The fitness coach had returned home after the second night to give the blonde some space, but took alternating shifts to look after Clarke with Raven during the day, who had to go back to work as well. The blonde talked very little, a shadow of the bubbly personality she had once been. They had given up trying to help her dissect her emotions, as she was unwilling to talk about her feelings. Clarke felt she could only talk to them about how hurtful the assignment felt to her but not how much she missed the woman. The hurt from being played and used was as strong as the pain from being alone without Lexa. She didn’t know what to do with herself and so she kept quiet and suffered in silence.

It was the fifth day after everything had happened when Raven came home excitedly.

“O, Clarke I’ve got awesome news.” She called out as soon as she had slipped out of her jacket and boots. Octavia walked into the hall from the living room, a sour expression on her face. “She hasn’t been downstairs all day. I don’t know what to do.” She surrendered and let her friend run her hands up and down her arms in a soothing manner.

“Ok, I’ll go and get her. Maybe the news will help to get her out of her funk.” Raven jumped up the stairs as quickly as she could and hobbled down the hall to Clarke’s temporary abode. She knocked at the door and when she heard a small ‘yeah’, she opened the room and pushed her head through the gap.

“How about you, O and I are having a friend’s night? I’ve been to the gallery to ask Kane for more time off as you’ve asked me to and got some great news for you.” Blue eyes widened in surprise but she looked down almost immediately, and Raven picked up on the hesitation and added. “Sitting on the bed and staring into nothing is not helping you, but letting your friends take care of you might.” She looked up again, a sombre expression on her face considering Raven’s words.

“I’ll be down in a bit.” She finally answered in a small voice.

“Awesome. I’ll order pizza. Your favourite.” Clarke smiled shyly and nodded, before Raven left, keeping the door open. 25 minutes later the doorbell announced the delivery of their food and Clarke sighed but stood up. Pizza did sound nice. She just hoped her friends wouldn’t try to make her talk again. They were there, when her heart was broken. What else was she supposed to say? She shuffled downstairs and joined the two women in the kitchen. They set down at the table without talking, all three unsure of what to say to each other, when Raven broke the awkward silence.

“So, Clarke.” The blonde looked up from her plate and eyed her carefully. “Kane sends ‘get well wishes’.” Clarke nodded and Raven continued after receiving the blonde’s attention. “Furthermore, he told me to tell you, that all your paintings from the exhibition have been sold.” Raven grinned now, but Clarke furrowed her brows in disbelief.

“What?” The blonde finally managed.

“Cool!” Octavia piped up and squeezed her hand affectionately.

“Well, as you can imagine the ‘thing that happened we’re not allowed to talk about’ had stirred quite some interest in you and people wanted to support you.” Raven explained.

“Wow, that’s so cool, Clarke!” The fitness trainer offered again, but added at witnessing the scowl on the artist’s face, “Or not?”

“People are interested in my work because I publicly got my heart broken?”

Raven exchanged a silence plea with Octavia to help her out.

“Sweetie, I’m sure it’s not cos of that, but rather cos you’re an amazingly talented artist. If the publicity has helped to push you into the spotlight, at least one good thing has stemmed from it all. Don’t you think?”

“Your cheque is waiting for you at the gallery and Kane also told me that a few people wanted to commission you for various paintings.” Raven added and finally wiped off the frown of the blonde’s features.

“Really?” She asked incredulously.

“Really. Kane wants you to take the rest of the week off but would like you to come back after the weekend. He said it wasn’t urgent but you should contact the people to get the jobs.”

“Ok.” Clarke breathed out and smiled sincerely for the first time since everything had crashed down on her. They spent the rest of the evening in a less grave mood.

By Friday, Clarke had managed to convince both her friends that she was capable of taking care of herself. After the good news two days prior she had started drawing again. At first she’d doodled broken or shattered hearts, later she’d focused on eyes and tears but stopped immediately when she realised, she had drawn Lexa’s tear filled eye. She’d hesitated to pick up her sketchbook after that, but eventually she’d convinced herself to let her mind tell her body what to draw. Maybe it would help her healing.

When she’d moved back into her own flat on Sunday morning, she was eager to use her paint. Clarke dropped her bags and put away the groceries Octavia had made her take along before she quickly walked down her hall into her studio. She blocked out the memory of Lexa and her as best she could and started working. She was soon in her own world, using her art to bandage her wounds and ease the pain.

# ***

Four days. It had been 96 hours since Anya had heard anything from Lexa. She understood, she had needed to be alone, but enough was enough. Even the strongest soul shouldn’t face heartbreak in solitary. She knew where she was going to stay, when she had left with her bag. There was only one place on Lexa’s mind, when she was in such emotional distress.

Anya arrived on Tuesday morning to find the front porch of the hut filled with empty bottles, a mix of hard alcohol and soft drinks and she sighed. She quickly glanced over the rest of the outdoor area and her heart quickened when she saw dried blood all over the stack of tiles.

“Shit.” She cursed under her breath and made her way into the cabin. She was met with the strong smell of stale air. It was too dark for her to see any further so she stumbled through the room towards the window and opened the curtains. Turning around and her eyes widened in horror upon the chaos she saw. Lexa had left a wake of chaos through the cabin. All the books were spilt over the floor and the bookshelf had been pushed off the wall hooks. The lamp hung low on one thin connection cable and the table as well as the refrigerator were toppled over. Anya couldn’t believe her eyes, shaking her head along with stepping over the trash towards the bedroom. She pushed the door open and saw Lexa sprawled out on top of the mattress, which had been removed from the bed and pushed to the furthest corner away from the entrance. The bed was in pieces as well as the bedside table and an axe was stuck deeply in one of the former bedposts.

“Fuck!” She exhaled and crawled over the wooden explosion to get to Lexa. She watched her intently and was relieved to see her breathing. If she had known Lexa was capable of destroying her cabin she would have come there earlier. She crouched down and softly touched the bare shoulder closest to her. Lexa growled but didn’t move. After a few more soft attempts to wake up the other woman, she resigned to hard-core matters and returned with a glass of cold water.

“Either you get up or you get wet. Up to you!” She informed the reluctant form, who didn’t respond at all. “Ok, you’ve been warned.” Anya shrugged her shoulders and emptied the cold liquid over Lexa’s head, who came up sputtering and gasping for air.

“Fuck you!” She yelled after regaining control over her heartbeat. “Shit!” Lexa fell back onto the wet mattress, closed her eyes and shielded them with her arm from the harsh daylight. “You could have left me alone for once.” She spat out. “Oh and you’re welcome to leave.”

“Yeah, I know. But I won’t. I’ve let you sulk long enough. Get your shit together.”

“Anya, leave me alone.”

“Nope. Not happening. I’m going to get us some breakfast and when I’m back I expect you showered and cleaning up the mess you’ve created!” Anya pushed back through the remnants of Lexa’s fury and left the brunette without another word.

“Fuck off!” She growled and slid further down the mattress to rest on a dry spot. She couldn’t care less about Anya or the status of the cabin. Needless to say, when Anya returned she found the drunken brunette in the same place she had left her.

“Ok, that’s enough!” She exclaimed loudly and pulled her up. Lexa was too surprised to fight her until she found herself stood upright and her body revolted against the rough treatment. She bent over and vomited all over herself. “Oooh fuck!” Anya pushed her through the room over the broken bed and into the bathroom. She didn’t bother to take of the clothes as they were ruined anyway and transferred her directly into the shower and turned on the water. Lexa screamed when the cold hit her battered body.

“Fucking hell. You’re trying to kill me?” She yelled angrily, bloodshot eyes trying to focus on the blonde.

“Doesn’t look like you’d need help with that.” Anya countered and pushed the lever towards the warm water. Once the temperature was rising Lexa stopped complaining and started to strip off her disgusting clothes. Anya gave her some privacy and left to return with a basket to collect the pants and shirt. She picked up other clothes and started on the laundry while Lexa showered. Upon hearing the water stop, Anya dropped a new set of clothes onto the closed toilet seat and waited outside with her arms folded over her chest. Lexa stepped out and glanced guiltily at her friend before scanning the living room. “Guess I did a thorough job.” She joked sarcastically.

“Yeah, no shit.” Anya pushed herself off the wall and walked towards the door, lifting a brown bag and two takeaway mugs of the floor next to the entrance. “Come on. You look like you haven’t eaten in days.”

Lexa looked ashamedly to the floor but nodded. She hadn’t, and the pants she wore made it blatantly obvious as they threatened to slide off her thin frame. They sat on the porch in silence, nursing their coffees and nibbling at the bagels. After a while Anya turned in her lounge chair and faced her friend.

“So, did it help?” She gestured to her own hands to indicate she meant the injuries.

“Yeah.”

“Why did you destroy the cabin?”

“Cos I could?” Lexa smirked.

“You look awful.”

“You can leave anytime.”

“I won’t leave you alone. You can try to kick me out or yell at me or hell, even try to beat the shit out of me, but I won’t leave!”

“What do you want from me?”

“Remember after Costia left you, you were in a similar state? Devastated, broken and a shadow of the woman I knew, but you lacked the anger and the fury and the fucking blazing infuriation you clearly displayed out there.” She pointed over her shoulder to the house. “You should use this more productively. Channel your rage towards the one who did this to you.”

“You want me to go and kill Nia?”

“I need you to see something.” Anya ignored her comment and went on. “It hasn’t been published yet, but will be a week on Tuesday as you know.” Anya pulled her bag over and took out a printout.

“She’ll publish it?” Lexa asked calmly.

“Yes, and to make things worse, she’s added her own bits and pieces. It’s a co-authorship now.” Anya replied annoyed.

“I don’t want to read it.”

“I’m not asking you to, but prepare yourself for the backlash.”

“I don’t really care. In fact, can you do me a favour?” Anya nodded hesitantly but didn’t interrupt to specify the kind of favour. She’d do anything for Lexa if it helped. “Can I borrow your laptop for an hour?”

“Sure, what for?” She finally asked.

“To send my letter of resignation.”

“You’d let her win?”

“I’ve lost everything. It’s not about her winning.”

“You could write a counter article?”

“That’d be too late anyway. If Clarke or her friends read the magazine they won’t be able to read whatever I have to say. It’s too late.” Lexa let her head fall back in surrender. “There’s nothing I can do except wait for my time here in this hell to end.”

“Fucking hell Lex, seriously?”

The brunette shrugged the comment off and angled for a half empty bottle of whiskey a few feet away from her.

“I know you’re in pain and you feel empty and cold inside but life is so much more than this.”

Lexa scoffed at the words and tilted her head back to let the liquid pour down her throat, burning the sensitive flesh on its way to her stomach.

Anya stood up and snatched the bottle out of her hands. “I think you’ve enough of this crap. If you don’t want to help yourself, I’m forcing you to.” She pulled her up and onto her feet and pushed her back through the door. “Clean this shithole!” She stated with finality.

Lexa swayed from side to side and eyed her curiously to gauge the seriousness of the situation but didn’t move.

“Now!” Anya yelled.

“Relax.” Lexa slurred slightly, the newly added alcohol hitting her system forcefully, but she succumbed and started to pick up the books. It took them both nearly 3 hours, in which Lexa sobered up completely, to clean up the cabin. After having some barbequed meat she excused herself and went back to the bedroom. She let herself crash onto the mattress on the floor and closed her eyes. She had been able to not think about Clarke and the hurt in the bluest of eyes and the pain on the most beautiful face she’d ever seen in her life for a little, and considered it a success only to be reminded of the emotions and the betrayal. She pressed her face deeply into her pillow and screamed out her pain before letting her body release the tears she had been holding in for the past hours.

Anya looked at the closed door from her spot on the couch and sighed. She’d heard the wail and the crying but figured she’d let her, as Lexa had a history of bottling up her feelings. She just wished she’d be more willing to fight for the truth.

Anya returned to the cabin on Friday afternoon to find a calm and sober Lexa doing breathing exercises on a small strip of lawn. She slowly approached the unaware woman and sat down next to her. They kept quiet for a long time, before Lexa opened her eyes and focused on her friend.

“How was your week?” She asked the blonde softly.

“Long. Heart-breaking.” Anya sighed. Upon Lexa puzzled look, she added. “I can’t handle how the whole situation turned out. I’m hurting for you too.”

“I know.”

They spent the days talking and analysing, running and exercising, cooking and eating, the last part still being difficult for Lexa but she tried to accept the responsibility of her own life. Anya avoided any Clarke-related topic to let Lexa handle her emotions in her own time. She hoped the brunette would eventually start talking to her. At the end of the weekend Anya had accepted her decision to quit the job.

“What will you do instead?” She’d asked her whilst they enjoyed the warmth of a fire.

“I always wanted to be an author. I have a couple of stories and I’ll try to get them published.” Lexa had answered, finally knowing what she wanted to do and hoped it would help her get over Clarke.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Anya left on Sunday evening with the promise of Lexa returning to Arkadia the following day. They agreed she shouldn’t be alone, but eventually she would move up to the cabin as it was a perfect place to write.

# ***

_Week 2 after the exhibition_

As told, Clarke made her way over to the gallery on Monday morning. Kane waited for her with a cup of coffee and muffins and guided her out into the backyard.

“I’ve been told by your friend what happened at the exhibition. I’m really sorry.”

“Thanks.” She answered with a small voice, sipping her coffee. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to.” He answered surprised by her statement and added, “I want you to know you can always come and talk to me. I’m your friend as well.”

Clarke was touched by his words and smiled before she asked. “Raven told me my paintings were sold?”

“All of the paintings you had provided have been bought. I have a list for you of people who are interested in working with you.” He stood up and returned a moment later with a sheet of paper. Clarke looked at it and nodded, while saying. “I shall call them as soon as I can.”

“Why don’t you focus a little bit on yourself? The last exhibition has been very successful and I’m thinking on focusing on me for a change as well.”

“You mean you want to close the gallery?”

“No not closing. I thought you could work from here?”

“You would be ok paying me to paint for other people?” Clarke asked incredulously. She had never received such an offer before.

“Essentially.” Kane laughed out loud. “See, I know people are coming and going especially so shortly after an exhibition, but I also figure, you won’t be too busy in between. Why not use your downtime more efficiently?”

They finished their little improvised breakfast and Kane left Clarke to deal with the daily work a gallery demanded. He stopped by on Wednesday afternoon to check on her and found her completely disengaged from the world in a corner of the biggest showroom. She was covered in various colours from head to toe.

“Now I realise why you wouldn’t want to be seen when painting. You look like a mess.” He laughed at her and she smiled awkwardly at the statement, while he stepped closer to admire the painting she was working on. “You know, it’s already mind-blowing to see the end product of your talent but to be able to observe the creating phase makes it even more astonishing.”

“Thanks and I’ll clean up later.” Clarke promised.

He dismissed her comment and focused his gaze on her. “Have you been out the last couple of days”, he asked vaguely.

“Only in the evenings and mornings to come to and leave work. Why are you asking?” She shook her head.

“Never mind. Just asking.” He left her again after finishing some paperwork, relieved she hadn’t been able to see the newest edition of a certain magazine yet. Once she did, he knew, she would fly off the handle.

Clarke however forgot about his odd behaviour as soon as he left the gallery and she was alone with her abstract painting of the universe.

Thursday night she was invited to Raven’s for movie and pizza. She had been talking to both her friends throughout the days they’d spent separated to make sure they wouldn’t worry too much. When she’d arrived the door was unlocked and she’d let herself in. Clarke was about to announce her presence when she’d heard her friends talking quietly in the kitchen, unaware of her.

“I can’t believe it was published. On second thought, I’m not surprised. That boss bitch of hers was quite intimidating.”

“I’ve tried to buy every copy I could find.”

Clarke furrowed her brows, understanding seeping into her paint-dazzled mind and her gaze fell onto Octavia’s messenger bag, half open revealing the red-inked letters forming the word ‘Nib’. Clarke’s eyes widened and she pulled one copy out and stared at Lexa looking back at her from the cover page. She suppressed a sob which would have alarmed her friends and walked backwards to the entrance. She left as silently as she’d arrived, whilst clutching the magazine in a cold hard grip pressed against her chest.

She arrived and threw the paper onto her coffee table. The whole way home she’d debated whether to read it or not. However, curiosity won and Clarke sat down with a bottle of red wine and flipped through the magazine until she read those agonizing 7 words ‘How to lose someone in 10 days’. She could already feel her blood starting to boil, remembering all the things Lexa had done to get her to break up with her. ‘How stupid had she been?’, Clarke thought for the millions time. The beginning of the article sounded painfully familiar and the blonde remembered Lexa’s boss reading it out loud at the gallery opening. Each new paragraph felt like another stab wound to her still bleeding heart. Angry sobs became cries of agony as she continued reading the article. She couldn’t believe she had misjudged Lexa so badly. She couldn’t understand how the woman who had cried in her arms over the hurt inflicted by another lover could be so cold hearted and write things like ‘She looked at me like a lovestruck puppy and nothing I did dampened her admiration.’ or ‘She was so head over heels for me she didn’t even question my actions.’ Clarke threw the magazine against the nearby wall and emptied the bottle of wine in a minimum amount of time. She staggered over and picked up the pages and stared again at the cover. “You’re the devil I never wanted to meet!” She screamed at Lexa, ripping the cover page off the rest and crumpling it in a tiny ball, before dropping it onto the floor and furiously stomping on it. Clarke then ripped the rest of the magazine apart, page by page in small shreds and screamed over and over ‘fuck you’ to the emptiness of her living room. Eventually the ‘fuck you’s’ spoken in anger turned to ‘fuck you’s’ exclaimed in desperation and she broke down and sobbed uncontrollably for a long time. After a while the numbing effect of the alcohol settled in and she was thankful for that. She got up and opened another bottle and took a big gulp. By the time Octavia entered her apartment, Clarke was lying on the couch on her back staring at the ceiling, the bottle of wine loosely in her hand. She had ignored all the calls and messages and wasn’t surprised to see Raven following Octavia into the living room. They spotted the remains of the magazine all over the floor and exchanged a knowing glance.

Octavia lifted the blonde’s feet off the couch to sit down. “Clarke?” She asked tentatively turning her head and smelling the alcohol on the blonde’s breath, before she took the bottle out of her hand. “She’s drunk Raven!” She spoke to the other woman.

“I was waiting for that to happen. I just don’t understand why she didn’t come over.”

“I did.” Clarke mumbled and swallowed the bile rising in her throat.

“What?” Both turned to her asking for explanation.

“I came over and heard you guys talking.” Clarke explained in a slow, alcohol-induced slur. “I took a copy out of your bag and went home.”

“Fuck!” Octavia slapped herself for being so stupid to bring the many copies she had acquired with her to movie night. “I’m so sorry Clarke.”

“Not your fault. You’re not the lying betraying writer.” Clarke started crying and curled into herself facing the back of the couch and ignoring anything around her. Any progress she had made so far had been destroyed with the article.

“What are we doing?” Raven whispered.

“Be there for her.”

“I don’t need you.” Clarke finally mumbled through a clenched jaw.

“We can’t leave you alone.” Raven protested but Octavia stopped her. “It’s ok. We’ll let you be.” She stood up and walked into the kitchen.

Raven followed her with a confused look on her face. “What are you doing?” She hissed.

“Give her space.” Octavia answered calmly, cleaning away the mess Clarke had left behind.

“Are you leaving?” She crossed her arms and pushed herself up the counter. “Cos I won’t.”

“I didn’t say that, did I?”

They stayed the night. Clarke had retreated into her bedroom at one point, annoyed by their presence and left them alone. It was a disturbed night and she woke up with nightmares and screamed for help. In the early morning hours she gave up on the idea of rest and joined her friends on the couch. Clarke didn’t talk but accepted the offered coffee with a small smile.

“How are you?” Raven finally broke the silence.

“I feel stupid for thinking she wouldn’t be able to hurt me any more than she had.” Clarke admitted.

“I swear I’ll fucking kill this bitch the next chance I get.” Raven exclaimed frustratingly.

“Calm down Rae. I’m not visiting you in prison.” Octavia huffed.

“Clarke would, right?” The reprimand brunette asked.

“Sure.” Clarke answered, not paying much attention.

“Settled then.” Raven shot a cheeky grin Octavia’s way and squeezed Clarke’s leg thankfully.

They let silence take over and watched the sun rise over the houses with coffee in their hands. At midday Clarke went into her studio and focused on her painting, successfully shifting all thoughts of the article in the furthest corner of her mind. Raven and Octavia promised to come by in the evening to finally have the movie night together.

By the second weekend Clarke felt less fragile, but still torn to pieces about how to feel. Her head told her to stop thinking about the woman, who had broken her soul and trust. Her heart however told her to think of the emotional connection she had shared with her and the intimate moments, which had felt so honest. Clarke’s mind went back and forth and she worried for her sanity. She couldn’t figure out how to get over Lexa. She cried now, mostly at night, when she dreamed about the happy times, which were her personal nightmares as they left her with this deep rooted longing. She hoped time would either heal her or harden her. She didn’t know what she preferred and so she jumped head first into her commitments and painted almost all day long. A part of it was therapy for her broken and destroyed heart, another part was living her dream. She finally worked solely as an artist the way she had always wanted. She didn’t care she had to go to the gallery as she continued painting in her little corner whilst taking care of the business. And she kept selling her work. Without the heartbreakingly betrayal she would have been the happiest person on earth.

# ***

Lexa went back to Arkadia and tried to settle into her new unemployed lifestyle. She had sent her letter of resignation before the weekend but hadn’t heard back. She wasn’t too experienced in such matters. It was her first job after university, but she expected a confirmation or some kind of paper work. The waiting process made her feel unsettled and when Tuesday rolled in Lexa was a nervous wreck. She hadn’t slept at all and worried the hell out of herself over the article she had refused to read until now. Lexa stood in front of a window and debated whether to read it or not and finally decided to face her fears. She grabbed the copy of the new edition Anya had brought back home and scanned quickly over the text. She felt somewhat relieved her words weren’t twisted or changed. She stood behind the text she had written back then. When she reached the end, she held her breath upon reading the insulting and judging comments Nia had put in.

“What the fuck? Shit!” Lexa took the magazine, quickly made her way over to the kitchen and dropped the copy into the sink. She then took out a lighter and set the paper on fire, watching it burn, whilst hoping against hope that Clarke hadn’t read it, but knew by now; God and fate hated her guts. ‘Maybe she really should write something to clarify the story and clear her name.’ Lexa stopped her train of thought. Nothing would help her get Clarke back. Hell, even she wouldn’t take herself back, after all that. Lexa shook her head and decided she needed fresh air. She turned on the water to extinguish the glowing ambers and then changed into her workout clothes and left the apartment into the direction of Grounder Hill; the omnipresent connection to Clarke. Back to when times were easier.

On Thursday she finally received a letter from the company owning ‘Nib&Scroll’. She prepared a coffee and sat down on the small balcony before opening the rather thin envelope.

_Dear Ms Woods,_

_I have received your letter of resignation, much to my consternation and I cannot express in available words how saddened that is to hear. I was made aware of the circumstances leading up to your decision to quit your job and I want to assure you, an investigation of the involved parties will take place as soon as possible._

_Furthermore, I would like to inform you that I will not accept your notice. For any future questions please contact Human Resources._

_Sincerely,_

_Dante Wallace_

Lexa read the letter a second time and a third before slamming it down onto the coffee table.

“Who the hell does he think he is? Not accept my notice? Fuck you!” She hollered angrily. “You know what?” She asked rhetorically as she was alone. “I’m not going to contact fucking HR.” She stood up, got dressed and made her way over to the shiniest building in Arkadia, known as the Weather Corp Power Tower.

It wasn’t easy to get an appointment with Dante Wallace. It surprised and intimidated her to learn he was the president and owner of the company, which possessed more than half of the businesses in and around Arkadia. It didn’t stop her though, and when she threatened to go public claiming unacceptable pressure and misuse of authority, she got her audience.

“Ms Woods?” She was greeted with a warm smile and strong handshake.

“Mr Wallace.” She answered proud her voice was steady despite the nerves. “I’m here to talk to you about your refusal of my resignation.”

“I was informed you are upset.”

“I don’t understand why you won’t accept my decision.”

“I do understand, but I’d hoped to keep you on board.”

“Sir, with all due respect, I cannot, under any circumstances, keep working for Ms Izard.”

“I know.” He nodded. “I’m going to offer you a deal. Are you interested in hearing me out?”

Lexa leaned back in the big plush chair and squinted at him. “That depends, sir.”

“On?” He asked amusedly.

“Do I have to accept your offer once you’ve let me in on it or do I still get the chance to decline?”

“Ms Woods, I’m not the mafia.”

Lexa laughed out loud at the statement. “Alright then. I’m all ears.” Ten minutes later Lexa shook his hand and stood up. “Stick to your promise and I’ll deliver what you need.”

“Very well Ms Woods. Welcome on board.”

Lexa left the tower significantly changed. What she had learned in the past 15 minutes changed the game completely and she felt blessed for having someone believe in her so much, that they wouldn’t let her go without a fight. She had agreed to collect evidences of Nia’s bullying and abusive and offensive interaction with her team. This evidence would ultimately lead to her dismissal. Lexa would have given one of her rare performances of her happy dance, but refrained in favour of her professionalism. She went down to her car and drove over to her renewed workplace to start the digging process. In return for her detective work she was offered a pay rise and a month of paid vacation once the work was completed. One thing puzzled Lexa though. Mr Wallace was adamant on reading her side of the story. He wanted Lexa to sit down and explain the why’s and how it had made her feel. She’d agreed in the end to do it to clear her name, but couldn’t help the sliver of hope it also brought along with it.

Maybe she could ask Clarke to read it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo... I kind of figured you were all too interested to see how the story progressed to bother with some lame author's note at the beginning.
> 
> However, I'd like to thank everyone for their input, feedback, compliments, kudos and for reading and overall liking this story. My adorable proofreader wasn't very happy about the length... I'm sorry but I love you for proofing it anyway.
> 
> Now back to this monster of a chapter. I had many potential cliffhanger moments to make you cry out again and yell at your phone, but I decided to keep the story going until two weeks have past.
> 
> It had been a bliss to write this story, and with only one chapter left, I feel like it's time for something new? Yes/No?
> 
> Well, have a lookout the next couple of days...
> 
> So, now I'll leave you to your own thoughts about what you've just read. The article is out there now. Will Lexa write another story or give up? Will Clarke read anything else from Lexa or give up? In case you fancy feedback, hit me up on tumblr. Have a nice week y'all and see next Tuesday to the final of 'How to lose someone in 10 days'. Cheers, J


	15. If you can’t forgive AND forget – pick one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the final chapter...

# If you can’t forgive AND forget – pick one

 

_She hoped time would either heal her or harden her. She didn’t know which she preferred and so she’d jumped head first into her commitments and painted almost all day long. A part of it was therapy for her broken and destroyed heart, another part was living her dream. She finally worked solely as an artist the way she had always wanted. She didn’t care she’d to go to the gallery, as she’d continued painting in her little corner whilst taking care of the business. Plus, she kept selling her work. Without the heart-breaking betrayal she would have been the happiest person on earth._

No, Clarke couldn’t complain. The whole ordeal had brought her more recognition and fame than she would ever have thought possible. Some of her paintings hadn’t hung long in the gallery before they were bought and some hadn’t even made it up the wall, before she’d cashed in the cheque. She’d asked by art journals to tell her story but had refused every time. She hadn’t known how to explain that her success had stemmed from a ruthless heartbreak. Besides, she hadn’t heard from Lexa or about her for over two weeks, and had assumed it had been the same for the brunette. She hadn’t wanted this to change, or to have her back in her life again.

She’d adapted to her single lifestyle relatively quickly considering their affair had been short and ended brutally. She’d gone on regular runs with Octavia but had refused to go to the gym in fear she would bump into Anya or worse Lexa. She’d started to actively participate in movie nights and computer games again and had even hosted a dinner for her friends. All in all, she seemed to be back on her feet.

Little did her friends know that she still hadn’t deleted the pictures of Lexa from their trip to Polis Island, and on long lonely nights Clarke would sit on her balcony and scroll through them, remembering the day and revelling in the past when all had seemed perfect. Every fibre of her body longed to touch the brunette one more time. Not in a violent ‘slap to the face’ way, but rather tenderly. She was focusing more on the brunette’s actions as those had spoken louder than the hurtful words. She craved the connection she’d had with Lexa, the unspoken pull towards each other. She missed the shy smiles and the soft caresses. She truly believed the brunette had shown her real self at least when they were just the two of them, alone together. She held onto this hope because she couldn’t bear the thought she’d fallen for someone who didn’t exist. The story of their relationship was tainted enough, she refused to believe every kiss, every intimate gesture and all the deep conversations and whispered admissions were all faked. She only let herself indulge in these thoughts in the middle of those nights, seated in the safety of the darkness with only the silent stars to witness her heart taking control over her head.

In the bright daylight, when her heart fell asleep exhausted from the yearning in the night, she still hurt awfully. The moments she felt trapped in circles of painful memories happened less often, but she thought about the elevated feeling, of having Lexa back, to only have it crushed painfully, nearly every day at least once. She also had no words left about the article, which had been published more than a week ago. She tried to forget the hurtful words and burning stabs as well as she could. She was tired of thinking about all the things she should hate Lexa for. She felt so exhausted by feeling the way she felt, and as more time passed by since the article, the more she realised, she would never tire of keeping her time with Lexa, the short ‘peek at bliss’ safe in her heart. Clarke just wished it would stop hurting so badly.

Without much of her own making, she was busy. Her daily routine consisted of getting up and ready to face her day at the gallery, before either going home or meeting up with Octavia for a run. This Tuesday would be no different, Clarke thought when she strolled into the gallery. Her gaze wandered over the paintings and drawings on the walls, as she decided she needed to talk to Kane about changing the theme. It was time she came up with a new exhibition concept. She’d loved to be a little more creative, a little crazier, but alas all she could do was present an idea and hoped that her boss would give it a go.

Clarke was focusing on a charcoal drawing of an elderly woman, a commission she had received from the grandson of the subject, who had recently died, and wanted the piece for the funeral. She loved drawing faces. After the whole catastrophe with Lexa it had seemed to everyone else she had abandoned her favourite subject matter. Only Clarke knew about the hidden sketchbook in her cabinet in the studio, that depicted lots of drawings of the brunette who kept invading her dreams or haunting her in her sleepless nights.

Just when she leaned back in her chair to observe her work, she saw Kane entering the store and pushed up to greet him.

“Hi there. I wasn’t aware you were in today.” She asked him, walking over to the staff room behind the counter, grabbing a cloth to clean her coal-smudged hands.

“I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute or two?”

“Sounds serious.” She questioned, but nodded to him to continue.

“Well, serious yes, but in a good way.” He gestured over to the tiny table at the window and she sat down, eyes big with expectation.

“Alright. So Clarke.” He started, smiling at her. “You like to work here, right?”

She furrowed her brows suspiciously. “Yeah, I like working for you.”

“That’s not exactly what I asked.” He replied.

“Um, yeah I like working here as well. What’s going on?” She asked confused.

“Ok listen, I have a deal for you.”

“A deal? Ok.” She answered hesitantly.

“What would you say if I offered you the gallery?”

“Huh?” Clarke looked at him as if he was suddenly a mad man. “What do you mean by ‘offer me the gallery’?” She asked for clarification.

“Exactly what it seems to imply.” He raked his hands through his hair and looked at her expectantly. "So, what do you say?”

“I still don’t really understand the conditions of your offer. You want me to buy you out?”

“Yes. I want you to be the new owner of ArkArt.”

“Wow, I don’t think I have enough money saved up for that yet.”

“I’m sure we will find a solution, if your answer is ‘yes’?”

“Um.” Clarke shook her head in disbelief. “Why now?”

“I always wanted to be able to travel once I’d worked long enough to achieve my professional dreams. I want to focus on other things in life. I’m almost 50 and I haven’t seen the world yet. I know it’s a sensitive issue, but of what happened, but regardless of that in the last few weeks you finally become known for the talent you are. I’m convinced now more than ever, that you’re capable of leading this business into a bright future.”

“Can I change the name?”

“Is that your condition?” He chuckled.

Clarke laughed and nodded with a playful smile on her face. “Yeah I guess, for now.”

“Well then, think about a new name if you accept my offer.” He stood up and held out his hand.

“I’m speechless actually, but hell yeah, I accept!” Clarke rose as well and took the offered hand into hers.

“It’s a deal. Congratulations and thank you Clarke, for everything you’ve done in the past.”

“It was a pleasure.” She replied and added cheekily. “Most of the time.”

“Well, find your own way of doing things then. Keep me in the loop of your plans?”

“Of course if you like.”

“Thanks and I’ll have my lawyer set up the contract. I promise to make it feasible and affordable for you.”

They went through some financial paperwork and Kane made sure to point out all agencies and authorities Clarke had to inform, once the change in ownership had been made effective. To say she was overwhelmed and blown-away by the opportunity to have her own gallery and the responsibility it brought along, would be an understatement. As soon as Kane left for the day, she called her friends and asked them all to come over.

Octavia and Raven brought some beer, and Jasper and Monty organised some food for the group.

“I never would have guessed, that we’d be meeting up in this fine establishment quite so soon.” Jasper teased when they arrived.

“Well I’ve got some awesome news I’d like to share with you all.”

“We’re here, you’re queer, with lots of beer – um spill the beans!” Raven finished her song and received a slap on her back from Octavia and on her forehead from Clarke. “Hey!”

“Ok guys. First off, I’d like to thank you for all your patience and support. I know the past weeks haven’t been exactly easy and I apologise for the late night calls and crying marathons.”

“Don’t mention it Griffin.” Raven interrupted, and pulled her into a hug. “I’m just glad you’re doing better.”

“Yeah, we’re here for you. Now and always.” Monty and Jasper joined in the hug.

“I’m not one for group hugs, but I love you.” Octavia laughed from across the room and Clarke smiled back at her over Monty’s head.

“Love you too O.” She said, as they released themselves from one another’s embrace. “Right. Anyway. Just a big fat thank you!” Clarke straightened her blouse, and ran a hand through her hair before she continued. “Soooo.” She drawled. “What do you guys think about the name ‘Art Café’?”

“Why do you ask, Clarke?” Octavia voiced the first thing that came to mind whilst everyone else just looked confused.

“Well you happen to be standing in my very own gallery. Kane offered it to me this afternoon and I agreed to buy it!”

“You what?”

“What?”

“Wow!”

Her friends were all talking at the same time, bafflement and surprise written all over their faces and Clarke laughed out loud for the first time in a very long time, finally feeling lighter and happier.

“Why ‘Art Café’ though?” Monty asked after a few minutes of celebrating.

“Well, I’m convinced I’d get more people into the gallery by offering a homely atmosphere with tea or coffee and cosy chairs or couches. I think I can actually sell more art if people have time to envision them in an almost living room like surrounding.” She mused.

“I never knew you’d put so much thought into this already?” He replied, clearly stunned. “We should sit down and discuss this further. From café owner to café owner.” He smiled.

“We wouldn’t be in competition Monty.” Clarke replied soberly. “I’m not intending to serve food, except for a selection of biscuits, a few cakes and of course coffee. I may throw in a couple of different kinds of tea, but that’s it. I don’t want to stray too far from the actually purpose of the gallery, which is to sell art.”

He laughed and his eyes twinkled in mischief. “I damn well hope you’re not going to serve brunch.”

They cheered to her achievement but didn’t celebrate in fear of jinxing the process. Once she had signed the contract, and redesigned the gallery to her liking, they would celebrate with a big reopening party.

When she locked the door, she sighed and smiled softly. She’d so much luck in the past weeks, she believed the saying was true, ‘lucky at cards, unlucky in love’. She shook her head at realising she wished Lexa could have been part of it. She’d always admired Clarke’s art, and the dreamer in her wanted to cling to this as another truth about Lexa. As she stepped back and looked at the shop front, she spotted a figure on the other side of the road, not too close, but close enough to know it was her. Clarke held her breath and felt her heart speed up at the beauty in the distance. She stopped in her tracks and looked at the brunette with mixed emotions palpable on her face, to finally settling on a neutral expression. Lexa held eye contact for a moment longer before lowering her head and stepping back into the shadow of the night. Clarke trembled as she walked in the opposite direction. Would she ever be able to get over her?

# ***

_One thing had puzzled Lexa to no extent though. Mr Wallace had been adamant about reading her side of the story. He’d wanted Lexa to sit down and explain what had happened and how it had made her feel. She’d agreed in the end simply to clear her name, but also couldn’t help the sliver of hope it could bring along._

_Maybe she could ask Clarke to read it?_

Lexa had returned to a regular shift pattern, sharing her office with Anya. She’d worked the whole weekend, knowing she would be alone. By Tuesday afternoon she’d had a couple of run-ins with Nia, who hadn’t stop sneering, but Lexa had tried to ignore it, knowing she would pay soon for what she had done. Lexa had compiled an impressive collection of interviews with co-workers and even some of her sources, who Nia had pressured into admitting things she then had used for her articles. She’d even found CCTV footage of Nia’s behaviour. Anya had helped her by providing her with evidence on Echo’s colourful past for the file. They had found out that Nia had blackmailed her due to her unlawful past that had remained on her juvenile record. All criminal offences had been long statute-barred, but for someone who worked in the financial department, crimes such as theft and fraud were nevertheless a career killer. She wouldn’t be fired but most likely would face a demotion. They’d had no sympathy for her and Lexa had enjoyed calling a courier on Tuesday evening to take the file over to Mr Wallace.

Lexa felt relieved once the job was done and off of her desk. She left the office and climbed into her car, but didn’t feel like driving home right away. One of the tasks she’d agreed to was fulfilled, but the more complicated one still tortured her consciousness. She had to explain her side of the drama. Before Lexa realised it, she found herself close to the gallery and she parked her car and slowly walked up the sidewalk vis-à-vis the store. It was quite late and it took her by surprise when she spotted Clarke standing in front of it. She stepped closer and admired the blonde from afar. She looked so beautiful, she almost glowed, Lexa thought, but all of a sudden she turned and Lexa held her breath, unable to disappear in time and just stared at her. She saw surprise flicker over Clarke’s face, which quickly changed to confusion, and was replaced after a moment with an illegible mask of neutrality. Lexa held her gaze as long as she dared, before she gave up, willing her tears to stay put and stepped back into the shadow between two streetlamps. Would she ever be able to apologise to her?

# ***

Anya and Lexa were called into the big boss’ office on Wednesday afternoon.

“What does he want from **me**?” Anya said nervously adjusted her blazer jacket and checking her reflection in the clean metal panel of the elevator.

“I don’t know. Chill.”

“I liked you more when you were all panicky about -” Anya stopped herself with wide eyes. “Oh god, I’m so sorry Lex.”

“It’s ok.” Lexa assured her gravely, as Anya apologised. She knew what her friend was about to say. She knew it, because she had been constantly on her mind. The blonde woman, who she loved with every fibre of her body, was permanently engraved into her brain.

“Have you started on the article yet?”

“No and I really don’t know if it’s worth it.”

“Well, besides saving your reputation, Clarke might read it.”

“And then?”

“She might give you a chance to talk to her. In person. Face to face.”

“She hates me.”

“Time is a magnificent healer.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I feel as raw as I’ve been three weeks ago. It’s the same for her, I’m sure.”

“Write the article. Put your feelings on paper. Express your emotions. At least you can get closure. You both could get closure.” Lexa’s gaze flickered over Anya’s eyes for a moment, before she nodded in agreement. “You’re right.”

They arrived at the office and the secretary held up her finger, gesturing for them it would only be a minute, before picking up the phone and announcing their presence to the president. She hung up and pointed to the big glass doors. “He’s awaiting you.”

“Together?” Anya answered puzzled.

“It seems so.” She replied unfazed.

They entered and the man behind the enormous mahogany table rose and greeted them halfway. “Please, Ms Woods, Ms Rivers. Welcome.” He extended his arm and shook both their hands. “It’s a pleasure meeting you Ms Rivers. I’ve been told a lot about you.”

“Only good things I hope.” She joked in an attempt to ease her nerves. Lexa would have laughed at the display had she been in a less professional surrounding. A flustered and nervous Anya was quite a rare sight.

“Let’s sit more comfortably.” He gestured to two large couches facing each other over a small glass table. “Can I offer you a drink? A coffee?” They agreed on coffee and Mr Wallace phoned his secretary to order it.

“So, you’ve been very busy.” He picked up the conversation again. “I’ve read through your file and I think we have all we need. I appreciate your commitment to Nib&Scroll.”

They smiled bashfully at the compliment and accepted the warm drink, which was brought in at the same time.

“What is going to happen now sir?” Lexa asked tentatively, hoping to hear the answer she’d been waiting for and working for all weekend.

“What do you think?” He played with her. She smiled hopefully. “At this very moment a security escort is removing Ms Izard from her desk and her obligations. She’ll receive the termination of her employment on the threshold of the building.” Anya and Lexa exchanged a look of triumph, but both were a little disappointed to not have been able to witness the scene. “The reason you are here and not there is for your own safety.” He continued upon seeing the silent conversation between the two women.

“Excuse me?” Lexa eyed him suspiciously, whilst Anya raised both her brows in surprise.

“I’m happy to inform you that Nib&Scroll has two new editors.” He smiled at their confusion for another moment, before he rose again, picking up two sheets of paper from the table in front of them and handing one to each woman. Lexa glanced down and upon realising the content of the letter she quickly turned to look at Anya whose eyes were still fixed on the paper with her mouth agape. Mr Wallace had taken it upon himself to hand over the adapted contracts instead of sending them via the post.

“Is this what I think it is?” Anya finally whispered, more to herself than to anyone in particular.

“It is Ms Rivers. I had a long and intense conversation with Ms Vine and she assured me you had no choice but to play along, and tried your best to stay as honest to yourself and to the magazine as you could. I was further informed how focused you both are at providing great journalism and well researched articles and I decided this journal was in desperate need of passion, determination and charm, which you both have plenty of.”

“Does that mean we both take over Nia’s job?” Lexa and Anya smiled at him.

“Ms Rivers,” he looked at Anya. “You will be taking over Ms Izard’s position. You have been in the business longer and your co-workers have expressed their excitement at working with you, when we asked for their opinion.” He turned to Lexa and continued. “You, Ms Woods, are being given the opportunity to run a new section of Nib&Scroll. How does Modern Poetry and Fiction sound to you?” Lexa opened her mouth and closed it again.

“I guess, she’ll tell you that sounds great, as soon as she can find her voice.” Anya laughed out loud in joy for her friend.

Lexa nodded and swallowed before her next attempt. “I’m incredibly thankful for the chance sir.” She stood up and grasped the man’s hand in both of hers to express her gratitude. “I would never have guessed this whole story would end this way.”

“It’s not exactly the end I had hoped for yet.” He replied mysteriously. “How far are you with your counter statement?”

Lexa sat back down and stuttered. “I -”

“It’s almost finished sir. It’ll be finalised and edited by Sunday, ready to be printed in next Tuesday’s edition.” Anya interrupted, covering up for the lack of article.

“Very well, I can’t wait to read it.” He nodded.

They extended another handshake and Lexa was informed that her new office would be one floor below her current one. She wouldn’t be able to use it at the moment though, as some reconstruction work was necessary to change the layout of the floor for the new magazine sector. A new team had been assigned to her, and by the time she was back from her extended break, the department would be complete and functional.

“I can’t believe what just happened.” Anya burst out once they were in the lift.

“Right? What the actual fuck?”

“And you wanted to quit the goddamn job! Can you imagine?”

“No, I really did not see that happening.”

Once back in their office, Anya started to pack her belongings and moved into Nia’s old office to settle in as quickly as possible and adapt to the change. As Lexa was helping her carry the heavy folders, Echo approached them from the end of the hall.

“Hi.” She waved and walked closer. “Can I talk to you? Both of you? Please?” They exchanged a look and nodded, both aware of how she too had been used in Nia’s devilish plan.

“Ms Vine.” Anya gestured for the woman to walk into the room and closed the door behind her.

“Ok. I’m here to apologise for my awful behaviour. I should have never let her go that far.”

“Echo?” Lexa interrupted her and stepped closer. “I do understand the pressure she could put on people. Hell, she pressured me into the whole story by luring me into believing it would be the only way for me to have a career at the paper.”

They exchanged a sad but understanding look, before Echo took a deep breath. “Also I’m really sorry for stalking you. If you want me to, I’d apologise in person to your girlfriend as well.” Lexa’s sympathetic glance hardened and she moved away while replying low voice. “In case you hadn’t realised, she’s not my girlfriend anymore. You managed to make her hate me, before I could explain anything.”

“I’m so sorry. I will go and clarify everything to her.” Echo offered.

“Don’t you dare!” Lexa whirled back. “You’ve done enough.” She glared angrily.

“Leave it to Lexa to clear up the situation.” Anya interrupted and Echo nodded in defeat. “Is that all?” Anya asked after a second.

“Yes. I’m really sorry.” Echo said once more before leaving the office and closing the door behind her. Lexa let herself fall onto the small couch and sighed loudly. “Thanks by the way for the deadline.”

“You wouldn’t have written it otherwise, but this is part of your work deal.” Anya added.

“I know you’re right. I know.” Lexa sighed.

Anya sighed before she answered, choosing her next words carefully. “I hope you two get a chance at talking about it. There was so much going on and it wasn’t only you who had messed it up.” She didn’t need to clarify who she was talking about, as Lexa looked at her sombrely.

“Maybe not only me, but Clarke had the chance to stop and do the right thing at the right time.” She stood up and continued. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in our old office, writing about my bleeding and broken heart and finally doing the right thing too.” Anya stepped into her path before she could leave and hugged her tightly before releasing her with a pat on the back and an encouraging smile. “You’ve got this.”

# ***

The process of selling the gallery and changing the ownership should have been a painful procedure, but Kane had had connections, which had helped it to go rather smoothly. By the end of the week, Clarke has signed the sale contract and had officially become the owner of the place. She had run the idea of a café combined with the gallery by Kane and he had been convinced of its success.

She was sat at the table thinking about how to restructure the rooms, when the door to the gallery opened and her self-proclaimed biggest fan walked in.

“Ms Griffin.” He greeted her cheerfully. “It’s so good to see you so successful.”

“Mr Wallace.” She smiled and accepted the offered hand with her own.

“Congratulations on your own gallery Ms Griffin.” He added.

Clarke looked puzzled at. “How?”

“Good news travels just as quickly as bad, especially in a place such as Arkadia.”

“I see. Um.” She paused and walked back to the table and gestured for him to sit. “What can I do for you.”

He smiled warmly and sat down. “I want to ask you to paint me a few pictures for my new offices. The walls will be kept white, but I’d love to display some vibrant, motivational abstracts.”

“Sure, how many paintings are we talking?”

“I’d like you to create one painting for the supervisor and another 9 for the open-plan office.”

“10 paintings?” Clarke opened her mouth distrusting her ears.

“Yes, Ms Griffin. I want 10 paintings. How quickly can you deliver?” He grinned at her disbelief.

“Will I have the liberty to visit the place?”

“That’s unfortunately impossible as there are renovations taking place at the moment.”

“Right. Any colours? Any shapes? Any patterns?”

“No restrictions, you’re the artist.” His eyes sparkled excitingly and she smiled at the display.

“I don’t have any commissions at the moment. If I focus I could deliver 1 or 2 by end of next week. I would need another 4 – 6 weeks for the rest.”

“That would be perfect.” He stood up and opened his briefcase to produce a stack of papers. Clarke took them and scanned the first page.

“You’re offering me $1500 per picture?” She had a hard time believing what was happening. If that were true, she would have enough money by the end of the month to rebuild the gallery to her plans and pay the first instalment to Kane.

“It’s original work. Unique pieces as well, by an aspiring, talented artist. I think it’s reasonable Ms Griffin.” He smiled again, having observed her struggles to grasp what was being offered.

“Thank you so much Mr Wallace. It’s a great offer. I will do my best.”

“Just enjoy creating the paintings Ms Griffin.” Clarke nodded and signed the commission agreement.

“Thank you.” She repeated and handed the papers back.

He left the gallery and Clarke decided to close for the day. She needed to get a start on the paintings. She loved a challenge and absolutely revelled in the fact that she could do anything. She knew Mr Wallace was a big fan of harmonising colours. As long as she didn’t venture too far into the too experimental area of abstract painting, she was positive to fulfil his expectations.

# ***

Lexa found it easy to write about her feelings, but she felt she was exposing herself too much to the world. She’d give up a huge part of her privacy by opening her heart for everyone to have a look at.

She voiced her fears to Anya on Friday evening.

“What are you worried about?” She sat down and read over the parts Lexa had already written. “I see.” She nodded. “You’re very honest here.”

“Yeah, I know. No need to keep pretending, right?”

“Right. It’s really good though.” She patted Lexa’s knee approvingly and changed the subject. “So? What will you do with your time off?”

“Not sure yet. Maybe I can try to learn to live with what’s happened, while I’m travelling?”

“Ok.” Anya nodded. “So, what do you think about a victory party next Friday?” A big grin took over her features.

“Sounds good. I always thought we should get drunk over the annihilation of Nia.” She replied sarcastically.

“You’ve been drunker in the last weeks than I would care for. You should lay low for a little while.” Anya threw her a patronising glance, and Lexa knew she was right. She really had to step away from her abusive behaviour. “Well good thing, I’ll soon be drowning in free time instead, right?”

# ***

Octavia opened the gym on the Tuesday morning with a grim face. She had spotted her weekly delivery of magazines she had subscribed to and had forgotten to take one particular one off the list. She dropped the stack of papers onto her desk and went through her letters, before addressing the giant elephant in her office. She picked up the Nib&Scroll and was about to throw it into the bin when she saw the front cover of the usually colourful and peppy paper. It was just grey with a poem in the middle, which caught her attention.

“No fucking way!” She said out loud, surprised and annoyed at the same time. Octavia sat down again and read the poem.

_A Betrayal_

_I cannot undo_  
What I have done;  
I can’t un-sing  
A song that’s sung.

_And the saddest thing_  
About my regret –  
I can’t forgive me  
And you can’t forget.

“No fucking way.” She repeated her earlier words in a hushed voice. She suspected it was Lexa trying to explain the situation and she was torn between her curiosity and her disgust for the writer. ‘Was it worth reading what she had to say?’ Octavia mused, remembering Raven telling her about what had happened in the gallery after she’d gone to look after Clarke. It had left them both completely puzzled, as they couldn’t piece the missing facts together, to understand the whole situation. Maybe she should read it and see if it finally made sense? She leaned back in her chair, and debated a few more moments, before she opened the magazine.

She quietly read the article and stopped when she felt tears running down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe the words imprinted in black on grey, just like the cover page. It was one fucked-up disaster. It was unbelievable. If it were true, she needed to do something about it. Octavia pulled out her mobile and sent a text to Raven, to ask her to come by the gym at lunchtime with the cryptic message, ‘I need to show you something’.

# ***

Lexa woke up to a sunny and bright day. She rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Today would see the release of the newest edition of the magazine and there was a chance, although very, very small, literally almost none existent possibility, that Clarke might read her article. She was nervous about it. She didn’t dare dream about the probability of Clarke learning the truth. She had screwed up, she knew it, and she meant it when she wrote she couldn’t forgive herself. She was still beating herself up over hurting the woman she loved with all her heart. Lexa knew there was nothing left for her to do, but the fact that her flight ticket to Barcelona rested on top of her passport helped with the desperation, which was slowly taking her hostage. She knew Clarke was it for her. She would never meet another woman, who fitted as perfectly as Clarke, as comfortably and holisticly as the blonde. Lexa felt it in the depth of her heart, Clarke was her soulmate, but she could never be with her, and that knowledge was as devastating as it was killing her. She got up and after packing her bag she walked into the kitchen, where Anya was already preparing some breakfast.

“How are you?” The blonde greeted her in the kitchen with a hug.

“Have been better.” Lexa answered and looked up. “Have been worse.” She added upon seeing her friend squint at her.

“Where are you going now?” Anya said upon seeing the bag.

“Well, I can’t go to the cabin without refurbishing it first.” She said with a small guilty smile on her lips. “I can’t stay here either.” She said quietly.

“What do you mean? I thought you were leaving next week? What do you mean you can’t stay?” Anya put down her mug and stared at her friend in confusion.

“Don’t worry about me, but I need some distance now that I’ve actually poured my heart out for everyone to read. I can’t just sit here and do nothing. I’ll call you.” She didn’t need to clarify, that by everyone, she meant Clarke. Anya understood her friend anyway.

“Where are you going?” She asked instead.

“I don’t know yet. I need some time to myself.”

“Ok.” Anya finally agreed hesitantly, not liking the plan one bit. “You have to let me know you’ve arrived safely wherever it is you’re going.”

“I will.” Lexa got up and hugged her friend again. “Don’t worry. I’m ok. I just need some space and alone time. I’ll be back before Friday.”

They said goodbye, when Anya left for work and Lexa finished her packing and left Arkadia behind. She couldn’t shake off the uneasiness, but she could try to outrun her tenseness.

# ***

Raven strolled into the gym at lunchtime and found Octavia busy with a customer on the leg press. She waved at her and walked into the office to wait for her friend, when she found the magazine on the desk. She scrunched up her face, and took a closer look at the cover.

“What the hell…?” She wondered.

“Read it!” Octavia demanded when she strolled in to pick up a chart and left again. Raven followed her with her eyes and the trainer gestured to the magazine in her hand and mouthed ‘read it’.

“Fuck my life.” She snarled unwillingly, but did as Octavia asked her to. She was just reading the last line when her friend re-entered and waited impatiently for a reaction. Raven looked up, disbelief clearly displayed all over her face. She held up the magazine and shook it whilst saying. “I gotta hear that from her to trust this to be the truth.” She stood up and quickly walked towards the exit.

“Hey, wait for me!” Octavia yelled after her, surprised by the sudden focused action.

They crossed over the road and marched purposefully into the building, but a security officer, demanding the purpose of their visit, stopped them in the entrance hall.

“Lexa Woods. We need to speak to her.” Octavia explained. “Can you tell us, where we can find her please?”

“Lexa isn’t here,” a voice behind them informed. Both women turned round quickly, to come face to face with Anya. “What do you want?” She snapped and folded her arms in front of her body and waited for them to catch up on what was happening. Raven exchanged a glance with Octavia to let her handle the situation and stepped closer to Anya.

“We read the article. Is it true?”

“Every word.” Anya’s face softened.

“If that’s so why had she waited so long?”

“Excuse my friend for being heart-broken and devastated and in dire need of time to come to terms with everything, before spilling her heart out.” The blonde answered calmly, but still annoyed.

“I understand.” Octavia said and Raven nodded along.

“Good for you. If you’ll please excuse me, I’ve got work to do.” Anya pressed past them and walked quickly to the elevators. She’d enough of the whole drama.

“Anya?” She turned around to Raven, whilst stepping backwards into the lift, stopping the door from shutting. “I’m sorry.” The brunette offered wholeheartedly.

Anya squinted her eyes for a second, but started to nod and a small smile formed on her lips. “Me too.” She replied before the doors closed and she disappeared.

“Well?” Raven turned to Octavia with a raised eyebrow.

“Tonight.” The other brunette agreed.

Raven took out her phone and sent a quick message to announce the change of plan and waved goodbye to Octavia once they had left the building.

_Dr. Dr. Professor (13:42): O and I are picking you up from the gallery tonight. You’ve been too busy._

_GriffArt (15:21): Ok weirdos – bring food if you want dinner I had no chance to get groceries._

# ***

Clarke was working on two canvases at the same time, when her friends strolled through the door. She envisioned both paintings hanging close to each other, each complimenting the other. The colours coalesced from one canvas into the other, almost like arms trying to hold each other.

“Wow Clarke. That’s beautiful.” Octavia complimented.

“Really?”

“Really!” Raven answered instead.

“Thanks guys. I think I finally have my inspiration back.” Clarke said and stepped back from her work, absentmindedly cleaning the paint off the brush, whilst her friends exchanged a nervous look.

“That’s good. You moved on?” Raven prodded. Clarke looked up at her and her smile fell slowly off her face. She remembered the night, when she saw Lexa at the gallery and all the feelings she had felt upon seeing her. “Moved on?” She asked pensively and shook her head.

“So. You’re still thinking of her?” Octavia asked hesitantly.

“Why are you guys asking me this?” Clarke said but meant ‘Can you live with the truth?’.

“We haven’t talked about it in some time. We thought you’d talk if you wanted to. Now we have waited and you never voiced your thoughts. We’d just like to know what’s going on in there.” Octavia replied, reassuringly tapping lightly on Clarke’s chest above her heart.

The blonde sighed and walked over to the front, taking some seconds to think about the words.

“I haven’t said anything because I knew you wouldn’t want to hear what my heart was saying.” She admitted over her shoulder to her friends who followed her. “Truth is, I’ve never stopped loving her.” Clarke added silently, hiding her face behind her hands. “I don’t know how to move on.” She finished her declaration, sad blue eyes conveying how true her words were.

“Well.” Raven said as Octavia took the magazine from her bag. “In that case you might want to sit down and read this.” She offered it to Clarke who looked at it with big eyes.

“What is this?” She asked quietly.

“Trust us. You need to read this.” Clarke took it out of Octavia’s hands and slowly slid down to settle on the floor with her back against the counter. Trembling fingers followed the letters of the poem on the cover page and she let out a small sob when the meaning hit home. Raven walked over and put a hand on her shoulder and opened the copy to the page of the article, whilst Octavia knelt in front of the blonde, reassuringly stroking up and down her thighs.

Clarke glanced quickly at both of her friends, before looking down and started to read.

_To the one person who means the world to me by Lexa Woods_

_I’m sorry for hurting you, like the way I did and there is absolutely no excuse for the painful things I’ve done to you. I wish for you to know how sorry I am for everything I’ve put you through. I hate myself for hurting you, knowing about your past._

_If you let me, I’d like to explain why and how I could have done that to you, even though a piece of me died each time I treated you appallingly._

_When I started working at Nib &Scroll I struggled to fit in and be part of the team. Do you remember our date in the coffee shop? I told you all about the stupid jobs I’d had to do, before I was able to get that position. In a world of unemployment and existential angst, I was unable to decline the assignment given to me. Granted, I wasn’t forced at gunpoint, but the task alone didn’t sound bad at first. I’m sure you can relate. _

_We met in a club and you were the epitome of perfection from the first second I laid my eyes on you. I should have listened to my heart, but I chose my head and you became the fatality of a dictated assignment. At first I could get away with small things and I kept telling myself you weren’t that interested in me. Yes, I truly thought, you the magnificent angel and pure soul couldn’t possibly be really interested in someone like me. But you were and I panicked. I tried to get out of the job, but more and more pressure was put on me and people close to me were pulled into the equation and my hands were tightly bound. I didn’t see a way out._

_If you’ve read till here I’m sure you’re thinking ‘You could have told me’, and you’d be absolutely right. I should have, and I wanted to so many times, but I was a coward at first and victim at last. I couldn’t tell you or my friend had lost her job as well, and whilst I’d stopped caring about my own employment by that time, I knew she loved it and it wasn’t fair on her._

_What about me, you might think now? How was any of this fair on me? It wasn’t fair to any one of us. I had that impossible decision on my plate to choose my friend whom I owe so much or you, the one who held my heart. The final product of the assignment wasn’t meant to hurt you as much as me. The words you might have read weren’t all mine, the article went through some editing work, and the outcome was out of my hands._

_Please don’t understand this as an excuse. It’s only an explanation how things went so horribly wrong._

_It still breaks my heart knowing you doubt everything I‘ve ever told you to be true. You were with the real me for the majority of our time together. The ‘me’, who marvelled at you, and was in awe of your beauty and admired your skills. The ‘me’, who stumbled over your emotions and caught fire by your feelings. The ‘me’, who fell in love with you. I’m still madly in love with you, but I know I’m too late. I’m too late explaining things to you. I’m too late admitting my feelings for you._

_I made the wrong decision. I broke under the pressure and now I’m broken beyond repair._

_My love, I wish for you to heal. I hope the truth will help you get over the tragedy I’ve put you through. Knowing I have hurt you so deeply will haunt me till the end of my days. I don’t ask you to forgive me, as forgiveness is the final form of love, and I’ll never deserve your love ever again. I beg you to forgive yourself. I beg you to stop blaming yourself. You were perfect, are perfect and always will be perfect to me. I’ll be forever grateful to have been blessed with getting to know you. I’ll love you till the end of my days. Yours forever._

The magazine fell to the ground and Clarke quickly leaned into Octavia’s arms, crying and sobbing heavily. Silent tears had started to fall almost immediately after the blonde had started reading, but the more she had read, and the more Lexa had divulged, the more Clarke had fallen apart. She couldn’t believe what she had read and her heart broke again at learning the extension of the whole story. Octavia shifted and pulled Clarke tighter into her arms, whilst Raven sat down next to them, caressing her friends back. They didn’t speak. Octavia and Raven had been touched by Lexa’s recent article, they could only imagine to some extent what Clarke might feel.

“We went over to Nib&Scroll and bumped into Anya. She confirmed it’s the truth.” Raven whispered into blonde hair. Clarke couldn’t calm down, but nodded slightly to acknowledge the words. She cried for what felt like hours. Whenever she had calmed a little, she would take the magazine back between her fingers and read the article and start crying again. It was her process of accepting the truth. Tears spoke for her heart.

At one point Raven had left them to grab something to eat. Octavia lifted Clarke’s face and moved lose strands, which had stuck to the wet face out of her vision. Clarke smiled a tiny smile and the brunette pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“It’s more fucked up than any of us could have thought, huh?” She tried, but Clarke only nodded. She breathed in deeply and exhaled as slowly as she could to calm down further.

“I guess so.” She finally admitted.

They stayed silent for a long time. Clarke was clutching the article to her chest and absentmindedly caressing the words, which were already deeply inked into her heart, when Raven returned. They shared the food and made Clarke tell them more about her future plans for the gallery, but eventually she’d stopped talking and they let her. She’d withdrawn back into her protective shell with her face deeply furrowed, when Octavia had spoken up again.

“How something like that could happen without anyone interfering is beyond my understanding.” She said, picking up a sushi roll and popping it to her mouth.

“You’d need to ask Lexa about that.” Clarke offered quietly. She hadn’t spoken her name out loud in nearly a month and she was shocked it already felt foreign on her tongue.

“Well, she wasn’t at work when we wanted to talk to her.” The room was silent for a heartbeat, before Clarke put down her napkin and stood up abruptly.

“I need to talk to her.” She said.

“What now?” Raven asked incredulously and checked for time. “It’s past ten.”

“She’ll be home.” Clarke concluded and picked up her jacket and looked impatiently at her friends still seated on the floor.

“Are you sure, you want to go to her now?” Octavia asked, but stood up nevertheless, dragging Raven along.

“I have to. I need to see her. I need to talk to her. I need her. Now.” Clarke rambled on before Raven put a hand over her mouth and smiled warmly at her. “Ok, we got it. Let’s go.”

It didn’t take them long to clean up and leave the gallery. Late night traffic was reasonable, but Clarke nervously bounced her knee up and down and tapped with her short nails against the window.

“What will you say to her?” Octavia distracted the blonde.

“I don’t know.” She answered and after a second, she added. “I love you.” She made it sound like a question, but all of them knew she was serious. “She’s so selfless in wanting me to heal, but I can’t heal without her. I can’t get over her.” Clarke admitted. “I guess there’s only one thing left for me to ask.”

“And you’re sure, it’s what you need and not just what you want?”

“I’m sure I need her as much as I want her.”

They arrived in front of the building shortly after and Clarke jumped out of the car and ran up to the door, which she pushed open with a relieved smile on her lips.

“We’ll wait here for you. Let us know if we should leave without you.” Raven hollered quickly, before Clarke disappeared behind the door.

She climbed up the few stairs, her heart racing a million miles a second. Her hands were clammy and she nearly drew blood from her bottom lip, trapped forcefully between her teeth. She reached the apartment and took in a long deep breath before she knocked. It took a few minutes and Clarke worried she might collapse any time soon, when the door opened and Anya looked at her surprised.

“Clarke?” She asked hesitantly.

“I know it’s late and I’m so sorry for disturbing you, but I need to talk to Lexa.” Clarke rambled, to only be stopped by a headshake.

“She’s not here.” Anya informed the blonde who let her shoulders fall in defeat. With a small voice she asked, “Where is she?”

“I don’t know.” The worry on the blonde’s face made her feel even worse and Anya again regretted not having stopped Lexa from leaving. “She’s ok Clarke. She needed to be alone.” The blonde nodded understandingly, shifting her weight nervously from left to right, before she turned to leave, without asking the obvious question, when Anya stopped her and asked softly. “Do you want to come in?” Clarke looked at her for a long moment, debating whether it was a good or bad idea, before she realised that her heart had made the decision for her already, as she was nodding. Anya stepped aside to give her room, when Clarke remembered and she asked shyly. “Octavia and Raven are waiting downstairs for me. Can they come up?” If Anya had been surprised by this she didn’t let her know and instead walked through the living room onto the balcony and yelled down. “You losers want to hear the whole fucking story?”

# ***

“That bitch!” Raven stood abruptly and walked to the balcony, inhaling cold air to calm down. “If I had known any of this, I wouldn’t have slapped Lexa. God I’m so sorry!”

“You did what? Raven!” Clarke angrily glared at her friend, who had had the decency to look guilty.

“Well, at that point all I knew was she had used you to write a fucking story about how to get rid of you! What did you expect me to do?” Raven fired back.

“Guys, calm the fuck down!” Octavia interfered calmly and turned back to Anya, who was nursing her beer, after she had told them everything. “And now?”

“Now what?”

“What are you guys doing now?” Three sets of eyes turned towards the journalist and she took a minute to think about how to answer. She looked at Clarke, whose desperation over the situation was clearly visible in her features. Her eyes begged her to tell her she would be able to see Lexa again, her lips trembled at the anticipation of the information and her hands, clasped tightly together, knuckles white at the pressure, bouncing up and down with her nervous knees. She sighed she knew she wasn’t able to stay out of it. Lexa had made sure by vanishing. ‘However’, Anya contemplated silently, ‘Who wasn’t there, had no say.’

“Ok.” She finally said and told them about their promotions. “Lexa will be going on a month long sabbatical before she’ll return to the magazine.”

“A month?” Clarke whispered, inhaling a shuddering breath. “When?”

“Next week.” Anya told her and Clarke let her head roll back, fighting tears threatening to spill. She slowly started shaking her head and returned her gaze back on the other blonde, eyes glistening with the unshed tears. “I can’t wait another four weeks.” She admitted, finally letting her eyes release her pain.

“You don’t have to.” Anya said calmly, her own heart was breaking at witnessing Clarke’s despair. “You don’t have to.” She repeated when Clarke’s face changed from hopeless to hopeful.

# ***

Lexa had spent three days in a small mountain lodge. She had slept, to recharge her drained batteries. She had hiked, to refill her brain with new impressions. She had meditated, to find her balance again. She had done all those things, but nothing had helped to get over her pain and her loss. She hadn’t heard from Clarke. A tiny part of her had hoped the blonde might contact her after reading the recent article. A tiny part of her had hoped against knowing she wouldn’t. This tiny part had been crushed by reality and by Friday morning Lexa had slowly accepted her fate of being alone for the rest of her life.

She checked out before lunchtime and stopped at a diner on the highway to contact Anya, offering her help. She was brushed off and forced to promise to be home soon.

It was nearly seven, when Lexa finally opened her apartment and strolled in.

“Well look what the cat dragged in.” She heard Anya yell from the kitchen, laughing at her words.

“Thanks. Missed you too.” Lexa laughed along.

“So?” Her housemate stepped into the living room at the same time Lexa entered from the hall. “How have you been?”

“Still in love.” Lexa sighed and sat down on the couch. “I don’t know. Did a lot of thinking.”

“About?” Anya sat down next to her.

“Clarke.”

“And?”

“If she wants me to let her go, I will.”

“Why do you think, she wants you to give up?” Anya asked carefully.

“She hasn’t contacted me.”

“Why would she?” Anya asked out of curiosity.

“Maybe she would, because she had read it? I don’t know Anya. I just thought she might have called or something.” Lexa let her head drop into her hands, kneading her face roughly before glancing back up at her friend, keeping her hands over her mouth.

“What makes you think she has read your article?”

“I don’t know. Got a feeling.”

“If you’re not sure, she has actually read it, isn’t it stupid to let go of her?”

“What are you saying here exactly?”

“Well, if I were you, I’d make sure she had the chance to read it before I’d walk away.”

“You want me to give her the magazine?” Lexa asked surprised.

“I don’t want you to do anything darling. It’s up to you what you want to do.” Anya stood up and checked the time. “Whatever your decision will be, it has to wait till tomorrow. We have to get ready.” She put her hands on Lexa’s shoulders and traced them down until she reached her hands. “Please try to enjoy tonight. We’ve been through so much and this is for both of us to finally close the chapter on Nia.” She squeezed the cold hands once and pulled her up.

“Alright, alright.” Lexa nodded. “I’ll put my party hat on.”

“Well I hope not literally.”

# ***

Lexa enjoyed herself more than she had thought she would. By the time she had arrived with Anya, their co-workers had already started, and loud music had thumped through the halls of the usually quiet floor. The first hour had been filled with them accepting ‘thank you’s’ off everyone who had suffered under Nia and sharing shots to cheer on their victory. Her recent training had raised her acceptance for alcohol and she felt good. She excused herself from Anya and walked around the room for a little, smiling at people and sipping her drink. After two hours she started to feel tired and bored. A band consisting of people working at Nib&Scroll had given their best to entertain everyone with hits from past years, but they had managed to choose music she really couldn’t stand.

When they finally took a break and the lights and the chatter of people adjusted to the loss of music, Lexa decided she’d had enough. She would walk home and relax and think about Anya’s words from earlier the night. She hadn’t given it a second thought so far. Was she ready to go to Clarke and ask her to read it? Was she ready to be rejected again? Lexa walked slowly to the exit, scanning the room for Anya, to tell her she was leaving when the lights got dimmed again. “Fuck this shit.” She whispered. “If I have to listen to one more stupid song by this untalented band I’m gonna kill myself.” She turned and was almost through the door, when she felt a hand closing around her wrist, stopping her.

“Where are you going?” Anya asked and pulled her back into the room. Before Lexa could answer, a soft melody interrupted the party sound and people slowly stopped talking. Lexa realised someone was playing the same soft cords on a guitar over and over again. Probably waiting for something or someone. She turned questioningly to Anya who smiled and shrugged innocently, when the guitar slowly faded and a keyboard chimed in to pick up where the other instrument had left off. The room was still dark and Lexa couldn’t see whoever was playing. A second passed without any sound, before a raspy female voice softly begun to sing, accompanied only by the keyboard.

_Baby I've been searching like everybody else_

_Can't say nothing different about myself_

_Sometimes I'm an angel and sometimes I'm cruel_

_But when it comes to love I'm just another fool_

Lexa opened her mouth in disbelief of what was happening. She knew this voice. It was the same voice she had dreamed of for so many nights. It was the voice of someone she hadn’t heard from in weeks. It was ‘the someone’ she missed so much it physically hurt. She took a small step towards the dark area when the piano melody became fuller and a slow rhythm started by the help of a tambourine.

_Yes I've climbed the mountain_

_I'm gonna swim the sea_

_There ain't no act of God, girl_

_Could keep you safe from me_

All of a sudden a warm orange light focused on the singer and Lexa sucked in a breath. Clarke was standing in front of her a few feet away. She wore her tight black jeans with holes in the knees and the blue denim button down shirt she had been in when they’d met the first time. Her hair fell freely over her shoulders and she had a guitar strapped around her torso.

_My arms are reaching out,_

_Out across this canyon_

Her gaze had been focused on the floor in front of her, and she nervously had held onto her guitar, whilst singing her lines, when she suddenly lifted her head and after a second of searching her gaze fell on Lexa. Deep blue orbs sank into surprised green and emerald eyes got lost in azure. Clarke smiled shyly, before she sang the next words, holding eye contact with the brunette.

_I'm asking you to be my true companion_

The improvised stage slowly emerged from the dark and Lexa could make out two more people on either side of Clarke. Raven was stood behind the keyboard and Octavia sat at the drums holding the tambourine in her hands, kicking the bass drum for a soft beat, whilst Clarke played on her guitar to add to the melody.

_True companion_

_True companion_

Lexa suppressed a sob at the words directed at her. She couldn’t believe Clarke was here. She couldn’t believe she was singing to her, and more than that what she was singing to her. It wasn’t a famous song, but Lexa knew of it and had used to listen to it and think, what a lovely way it would be to serenade someone. She smiled at Clarke and took another step towards her, when the blonde entered the second verse with Raven playing the melody alone again.

_So don't you dare and try to walk away_

_I’m beggin’ you to stay, come what may_

_I’ve got this vision of a girl by my side_

_Made my decision that it’s you alright_

Lexa smiled and lowered her head, she didn’t deserve this angel. How could she have thought for a second Clarke would want her to give up? The music picked up the rhythm once more and she could hear the subtle tambourine and the playful guitar. They sounded amazing and Lexa wondered if the girls had missed their true calling. They harmonised over Clarke’s deep voice for the next bridge.

_When I take your hand, I watch my heart set sail_

_I’ll take your trembling fingers and lead you down the trail_

She felt Clarke’s eyes still lingering on her. This was too good to be true. Had Clarke forgiven her? Was she really offering her a second chance?

_Then I'll take you home and with wild abandon_

Lexa looked up when she heard Clarke’s voice coming closer and saw her walking slowly towards her. She breathed in slowly to steady her heartbeat and nervously licked her lips, when Clarke stopped in front of her, and pushed her guitar around onto her back. She took Lexa’s hands in hers, before she sang quieter than before.

_Make love to you just like a true companion_

_You are my true companion_

_I’ve got a true companion_

She stopped singing and closed the remaining distance to the brunette, and whispered to her.

_Lexa be my true companion?_

Octavia and Raven continued to play the melody, whilst Clarke just looked at Lexa, waiting for her answer. Lexa’s gaze flickered between the blonde’s eyes and mouth, searching for the anger or hate she had seen the last time, but all she could see was pure love and endless hope in the depth of those blue eyes.

“Only if you’ll be mine.” She finally whispered back, before closing the remaining space between them and taking Clarke’s lips into hers, kissing her deeply, pouring all her love and need into the intimate gesture. She whimpered when Clarke moved her lips just out of reach.

“I love you.” She said, happy tears running down her face.

“I’m so in love with you Clarke.” Lexa replied, feeling her own cheeks dampening and she laughed out shortly, before capturing Clarke’s lips once more. She slid her hands around the blonde’s waist and under her bottom and lifted her smoothly off the floor. Clarke folded her legs around Lexa’s waist and deepened the kiss unashamedly, running her tongue over Lexa’s bottom lip, who opened her mouth immediately to let her in. Applause erupted from everywhere in the room and Octavia took the liberty for an impromptu drum solo, whilst Raven yelled, “Get a room, ladies!”

They broke the kiss to laugh at that and Lexa set Clarke back down on the floor, but kept her arms around her.

“That was not all I’ve got to say.” Clarke admitted reluctantly and pushed out of Lexa’s arms, who looked at her with a sombre expression. She knew she shouldn’t have had her hopes up. Lexa Woods would never get to be happy. Clarke saw the emotions playing over her features and cupped her face and locked her eyes once more with Lexa.

“I meant every single word I sang to you, and just to be clear, cos we have history of not saying things.” She stopped and kissed Lexa softly. “I never want to be without you ever again.”

Lexa cringed at the words. “About that -” She started but was interrupted by Clarke putting a finger on her mouth, before producing a slip of paper from her back pocket. She held it out to Lexa and said with a playful smile. “I always wanted to visit Barcelona.”

Lexa looked at her, then at the paper in her hand and back at Clarke. “Is this what I think it is?” She asked incredulously. Clarke laughed out loud and started to slowly nod. “Our story made me so successful, that I’ve decided to take time off and come with you. I believe I promised you some downtime anyway?” Lexa took her back in her arms and kissed her. “I can’t believe this.” For the second time this night she lifted Clarke up and turned her around in a small circle with her tightly in her arms.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Clarke Griffin.”

“You’re an idiot, but you’re my idiot, Lexa Woods.”

* * *

 

Love is not how you forget, but how you forgive. Not how you listen, but how you understand. Not what you see, but how you feel, and not how you let go, but how you hold on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading / reviewing / favouring / kudo-ing and overall liking this little fic. I had a blast writing it and enjoyed your feedback immensely.
> 
> So, I really hope you're happy with the end? I'm looking forward to hear from you guys!
> 
> In case your wondering, the song is originally from Marc Cohn, called 'True Companion' - I just changed a few lyrics to make it work with the story. You can find the song on tumblr search for hashtag htlsi10d...  
> What else? Oh the Cover of Nib&Scroll same goes on tumblr search for hashtag htlsi10d...
> 
> Alright, that's it I guess. Or maybe not? You guys have been so awesome to me, that I've decided to write an epilogue to tie up the few loose ends. So stay tuned to see the wrap-up latest by next Tuesday.
> 
> Thanks again for the ride and I hope I can entertain you again with my new stories, which should go online sooner than later. I'm working on them, but life has it's way of sneaking in...
> 
> Cheers,  
> J


	16. Epilogue: You make me believe in soulmates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya folks,
> 
> surprise... I decided to update the epilogue already instead of letting you wait. I tried to tie up all open plots and might have given you a little fluffiness to make up for the angst in the last chapters...  
> Well - read for yourself.

# You make me believe in soulmates

 

_Lexa had taken her back in her arms and had kissed her. “I can’t believe this.” For the second time this night she’d lifted Clarke up and had turned around in a small circle with her tightly in her arms._

_“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Clarke Griffin.”_

_“You’re an idiot, but you’re my idiot, Lexa Woods.”_

They kissed again and again. Forgiving and reassuring each other of their feelings. Lexa set her back on the ground but kept her arms wrapped secured around Clarke, resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder, nose buried in her neck, breathing in deeply, longingly, having missed her scent like air.

“Are you sure about this?” She whispered, pressing a kiss against the sensitive skin she found under her lips.

“We need to talk. Like really talk.” Clarke pushed her head off her shoulder, locking eyes. “I’ve done things which weren’t exactly ethical either, I’m really sorry and want to explain myself to you too. Anya told me how it all happened, but I really want to hear, how you’ve been and how you’d managed considering she told me you never wanted to do it to start with.” She said whilst losing herself in the soothing, trusting green an inch away from her. “But to answer your question, I’ve never been surer about anything, than I am, about you and me.” She kissed her softly to emphasize her words further.

“We have a 12 hour flight next Monday. Think that gives us enough time to talk?” Lexa suggested with a teasing smile on her face.

“And what are your plans between now and Monday?” Clarke sucked in her bottom lip, flirting back unashamedly.

“Making up for all the lost time.” She let her tongue slowly travel over the bottom lip still deliciously trapped between the blonde’s teeth, before she added in a breathy whisper. “And by making up, I mean thoroughly making out and more.”

Clarke finally released the flesh and smirked suggestively. “I like your thinking. Let’s get out of here.” They finally stepped out of each other’s embraces and linked their fingers together, when Raven and Octavia popped up from their right.

“Hi lovebirds.” Raven said, smiling. “Um, Lexa. Do you have a minute?” She looked apologetically at the brunette, who nodded slightly. “Listen, I’m really sorry for slapping you and jumping to conclusions.” She offered her hand and waited with a sincere look for Lexa to react. The brunette’s eyes danced from Raven’s face to the offered hand and back up, before she smiled warmly and closed her fingers around the outstretched limb.

“You didn’t know better. I’d had slapped you too.” Lexa accepted the apology and offered her own at the same time. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”

“It’s not really us you have put through some shit.” Octavia stepped out of the shadow of Raven and hugged Lexa, apologising as well. “I’m sorry too.”

“Really guys. You don’t need to be sorry. You’re great friends and besides being devastated and broken, I felt consoled knowing Clarke was with you.”

“Lexa.” Clarke pulled her into her side, resting her hand possessively around her waist and nuzzled her head into the crock of the brunette’s neck. “Can we not talk about this for now?”

“We don’t have to talk at all.” Lexa replied, pushing her index finger under Clarke’s chin to lift it, before taking the blonde’s lips once more between hers. “Mmmm.” Clarke moaned and immediately deepened the kiss.

“Hey PG13 if possible.”

Reluctantly Lexa let go of Clarke’s lips and faced the intruder.

“Anya!” Raven exclaimed happily upon seeing Lexa’s blonde friend strolling over. “Long time no see.” She grinned.

“No shit. I can’t wait for some Reyes-free time.” Anya shoved the other woman playfully.

“You love having me around.” Raven shoved back.

“Um, someone mind telling me how you two became best friends?” Lexa asked confused. Last time she’d witnessed any interaction between Clarke’s friends and Anya had been at the gallery opening a month ago and to say the atmosphere had been that cosy would be a blatant lie.

“Well, you’ve been MIA and someone had to pick up the broken pieces for you and fix it.” Anya explained nonchalantly and shrugged.

“After your article was published Raven and I went to see you, to ask, if your words were finally the truth, and Anya here explained everything to us and later to Clarke.” Octavia explained further.

Lexa’s eyes wandered from the small brunette over to her friend with her mouth slightly open and her eyes full of gratitude. “You did that for me?”

“Well, don’t sweat it. It was nothing really. Clarke was the one who made me realise I had to open my mouth. She can be quite convincing even when she’s not speaking at all-” Anya explained, before her breath was pressed out of her lungs when Lexa flung herself into her arms. “Thank you so much.” She said over and over again, whilst Anya just mumbled “of course” and “no worries”.

“You ok?” Raven stepped closer to Clarke, who had her gaze fixed on her girlfriend’s form in her best friend’s arms.

“Yeah. I am. Finally.” Clarke nodded, quickly wiping away a stray tear. “I can’t thank you guys enough.” She said, and then wrapped her arms around both Octavia and Raven and squeezed as tightly as she could manage.

“It looks like congratulations are in order?” A deep, warm voice interfered the hugging and all five women looked up to the source of the interruption.

“Mr Wallace?” Lexa, Anya and Clarke said in unison at the same time and quickly looked at each other when Lexa asked, “You know Mr Wallace?”

“May I explain the situation?” He interrupted and stopped further questioning. When all attention was back on him, he lifted his hand and gestured for the group to follow him out of the room.

“First of all, Ms Woods, I’m pleased you’ve listened to Ms Rivers and used the chance to unravel the unfortunate web which had been spun around you and for detangling the lies, which had kept it in place for way too long.” He then turned to Clarke and her friends, who came to a stop behind the blonde and continued. “I own Nib&Scroll. It is part of the Weather Corp Company.” The blonde nodded in understanding, but her face showed pure confusion. He led them to an elevator, which took them up the building, whilst everyone exchanged curious or perplexed looks with each other. When they stepped out of the lift he turned and looked alternatingly between Lexa and Clarke for a moment.

“Now Ms Woods.” He finally focused on Lexa, whilst handing her a set of keys and gesturing to a closed frosted glass door. “Will you do me the honour?” Lexa puzzlingly eyed the keys in her hand, but nodded and walked the short distance to the glass panel, unlocking it, and carefully pushing the entrance open to reveal a large office space, with desks for at least 10 people. Mr Wallace walked past a stunned Lexa and gestured for everyone to follow. The women strolled slowly down the short corridor to another office. “Ms Griffin.” He finally addressed Clarke. “At this moment I’d like to thank you for your creativity.” The artist furrowed her brows entering the small room behind Lexa, when a surprised gasp left her throat. The brunette followed her line of sight and her gaze fell onto two canvasses, hung close to each other on the opposite wall of the window. Both women turned back to the old man with more questions in their eyes, than words on their tongues.

“What?”

“How?”

“It was for here?”

“What is this?”

“Ms Woods, Ms Griffin. Let me, please.” He gestured for them to sit down on the small couch to give room for the rest of the group to enter, whilst perching one leg on the edge of the desk. “I met Ms Griffin a couple years back, when she had only just started working for Markus Kane, a lifelong and very good friend of mine. She’d proven her incredible talent within a short amount of time and I quickly thought of myself as her biggest admirer. I’ve known Ms Woods for some months now, but only personally for about two weeks. However, she had impressed me with her dedication to the magazine and her eagerness for well-researched journalism. To say I was awestruck by both of these gifted women would be an understatement. When I was informed of the abusive misuse of authority, I felt compelled to set things right. I encouraged one to write her side of the story and I commissioned the other to create new pieces of art. Both things, I believed, would help them in some way. To ensure a hopefully bright future, I took it upon myself to offer both a secure job. Ms Woods is the new editor of the new subcategory of the Nib&Scroll magazine ‘Modern Poetry and Fiction’ and Ms Griffin has recently signed the purchase and sale agreement to her very own gallery.”

“Please don’t tell me you’ve blackmailed Mr Kane into selling me the gallery because you wanted to make me happy?” Clarke deadpanned, half in jest and half seriously.

“No, don’t worry. Markus wanted out anyway, but I made it happen as quickly as possible.”

“The paintings -?” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s ear, stopping mid-sentence as the blonde started nodding, but was silenced by Mr Wallace.

“Original Griffin Art for Ms Woods’ new office. I’ll hope this fuels your creativity and helps you further come to terms with what happened.” Mr Wallace finally stood up and offered his hand first to Lexa and then to Clarke. “I’m incredibly happy the two of you have been able to find a way back to each other. I appreciate you as single individuals, but I’m excited to see what you two can achieve by being together.”

“Thank you Mr Wallace.” Lexa said gratefully, but was waved away when he made his way out of her office.

“That’s nothing. You two offer beautiful words and paintings, which make me happy in turn. Oh and Ms Griffin? I heard you’re off for some time?” Clarke nodded, confused at how he knew about it, and opened her mouth to explain her last minute booking. “No worries. Enjoy the time and finish the commission when you’re back.” With that he walked off leaving the five alone.

“I love this.” Lexa pointed to the canvasses on the wall, caressing them with her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

“Well I wasn’t aware I’d be doing the work for your new office. He didn’t let me see the space, so I went with instinct.”

Lexa blinked more tears away and looked back at Clarke. “You bought the gallery?”

The blonde smiled warmly, lifted one eyebrow suggestively and purred. “You’re now an editor?” They stared at each other, eyes flickering over features both had craved and missed for so long.

“Well you guys have loads to talk about, but can we go back to the party?” Octavia interrupted.

“Yeah, you have even more time together in the next weeks to talk about all this, when we’re not with you. Let’s celebrate the end of a nightmare.” Raven piped up as well.

“Yeah Woods. You owe me a happy night for a change.” Anya chimed in finally.

“I second that.” Clarke laughed and affectionately caressed Lexa’s cheek.

“Let’s party then.”

They returned to the celebration and enjoyed dancing the night away. Raven had called the rest of Clarke’s friends and after they went through the story again, Lexa pulled Clarke away. The music changed to a slow piano piece and Clarke let herself be wrapped into Lexa’s warm body, swaying from left to right, feeling their heartbeats syncing again.

“I’m incredibly sorry.” Lexa mumbled close to the blonde’s ear. “I hope one day I can make it up to you.”

Clarke lifted her head off Lexa’s shoulder and smiled at her lovingly. “Darling, there’s nothing we can do to change the past weeks. I’ve hurt you too and I’m so sorry about it.” Her eyes flickered over Lexa’s and she continued softly. “We can only promise to not repeat history and hurt each other again.”

“Sounds like you’re thinking about a future for us.” Lexa asked hopefully.

“I love you. Always have. Even in the darkest hour, when I’d read the first article I couldn’t stop missing you, so much it literally tore me apart.” Clarke answered honestly, pushing up to kiss her, but was stopped with a finger against her lips.

“I can’t imagine being without you ever again. Your eyes are my sun I want to wake up to and your voice is my moon I want to be guided by. I love you so much.” Lexa breathed out and added in a very quiet voice, only for Clarke to hear. “Be my girlfriend. Once again.”

Clarke chuckled at the familiarity of the words and nudged Lexa’s nose with hers, before answering, “Always”, and kissing her softly.

# ***

Almost two weeks after they’d left their home, Clarke found herself relaxing at a secluded beach somewhere at the Mediterranean Sea. She smiled and recalled the past two weeks.

They had travelled from Ton DC to Barcelona and had explored everything their colourful guide had advertised as a ‘must see’. They went to the see La Sagrada Familia, wandered Las Ramblas leisurely, got lost in the gothic quarter of the city with its labyrinthine streets and had hiked up the Montjuic hill. Clarke hadn’t needed much persuasion to get them to explore the art the city had to offer. They enjoyed the Picasso museum and Gaudi's modernist park, with Clarke launching into her vast knowledge of both artists, leaving Lexa more than once perplexed and enthralled. One evening they’d visited the Magic Fountain of Montjuic just in time to see the beautiful show of water, light and music. They had cuddled up and had whispered sweet nothings to each other, whilst watching the spectacle in front of them. It had been a fairy-tale experience.

After five days they’d left Barcelona to fly to Corsica, a mountainous Mediterranean island. Lexa had convinced her blonde lover to visit this beautiful place due to the breathtaking landscape from ocean and beach, over picturesque villages and lively towns, to the striking mountain chain commanding the core of the island. Clarke had laughed at Lexa’s nerdy side and had made fun of her, but when they’d ventured out into the wilderness of the island she had quietly admitted that it was majestic and incredible.

They’d spent another three nights on the island before deciding to fly further to Rome. After adventurous days in the capital of Italy, both had craved some downtime and had travelled to Skiathos in the Aegean Sea belonging to the Greek archipelago. Both had been drawn to the island because of its tranquillity, small fishing villages and underwhelming tourism.

Clarke sighed and looked up into the sky, whilst waiting for her girlfriend, who had gone to get drinks. They had rented a car and a small vacation home at a private beach and were self-sufficiently taking care of their needs. It was perfect. ‘Lexa was perfect’, Clarke thought and turned around on the blanket spread out over the warm white sand, resting her head on her arms and closing her eyes.

After taking a little time to talk about the month they’d spent separately and the things that had led to the four week split, the relaxed, natural flow of their relationship before the ‘big bang’ had returned and they enjoyed every second in each other’s company. Clarke had never thought she would be happy spending so long with only one person. She was even more surprised that although most of their time, she had only Lexa to talk to, as they were visiting places where English wasn’t the local language, she never once had felt bored or tired, quite the opposite. She was just musing about what exactly intrigued her most about her girlfriend, when she felt cold fingers tracing down the warm skin over her spine. She moaned at the sensation and tried to turn, when she was stopped by a raspy voice close to her ear. “Don’t move.” She nodded and felt her body awaken suddenly and forcefully. Lexa had that effect on her. She let her head fall back down on her arms and sighed in content.

Lexa had been back for a few moments, enjoying the view of her stunning girlfriend basking in the sun before she joined her on the blanket. Although they had a private beach, which was not visibly accessible for anyone, Clarke wore one of her tiny bikinis. When Lexa came closer she saw a sensual smile playing around the blonde lips, which affected her in a way that she bit back a moan. Her eyes were dancing over the sexy body and she slowly discarded the cold water bottle into the sand and lowered herself onto the blanket before letting herself experience the mind-blowing sensation of hot skin under cold fingertips. She heard Clarke moan and bit down hard on her lips being completely addicted to the sound. She crawled closer and leaned over the tantalising form when she felt her moving, to whisper her command into willing ears. Upon satisfyingly seeing Clarke’s obedience, Lexa slowly removed the bikini top and pressed lingering kisses starting from Clarke’s neck all the way down to the small of her back. Lexa then licked her way back up, collecting little drops of sweat, which had gathered in the depth of the valley of Clarke’s spine. Another longer moan filled the air and Lexa’s body was on fire. She pushed off and turned Clarke on her back, removing the top completely and discarding it. She leaned over her girlfriend to shade her from the sun and started kissing her, deepening the kiss almost instantly when she felt Clarke opening her mouth slightly. Lexa broke the kiss to give them a chance for air, when she quietly admitted. “I want you.” Clarke’s pupils widened the same instant her hips bucked into Lexa, whilst she let out a needy groan and managed past her rapid panting an “I need you.” Lexa didn’t waste any more time and stripped her of her skimpy pants and settled between Clarke’s legs to give her what she needed and to happily accept what she gave her in return. All of it. She took her into her mouth and moaned when the taste hit her senses. She’d never tire of Clarke’s unique, maddening flavour. She worked her relentlessly and let her reach the edge numerous times, before pulling her away again. She enjoyed seeing Clarke writhing in pleasure and screaming out in pure need for release. She abandoned her favourite spot to crawl up the tantalizing body, when she heard her huffing out in frustration. “Lex, if you…” Clarke panted heavily, feeling her girlfriend’s fingers entering her deeply, stimulating her in her all the right places, just not for long enough. “I swear, if you don’t let me…” She was silenced with a searing kiss and swallowed a long moan, when she felt herself building up again. “Please just let me cum.” She begged when Lexa had released her mouth and sinfully attacked her nipples. Clarke felt the skilful tongue stop moving at her plea and the mouth, which was driving her crazy, formed a big grin against her sensitive skin. “You want to cum?” She heard and eagerly nodded, pressing her centre against Lexa’s hand, grinding down on the fingers inside her. “Then cum baby.” Lexa demanded and increased the pace and quickly moved back between her legs to suck Clarke deeply into her mouth. It took a nanosecond for the blonde to process what was happening, before she exploded and screamed out her pleasure. “Fuck.” Lexa guided her slowly down from her high and licked her clean, humming in delight at the sweet wetness.

“Fuck.” Clarke repeated. “You just made me see stars.” She chuckled, and pulled Lexa up her body. She needed her closer. Lexa wrapped her arms around and turned them so she was spooning Clarke. “Worth it, or?” She teased and softly bit the blonde’s ear.

“Mmm… you’re worth it.” She pressed her back into the brunette’s body and grinned at the responsiveness of her. “You’re overdressed for the occasion, babe.” Clarke whispered and Lexa moved her hand over still hard nipples and sprawled it out flat over the naked belly to press her further into her lap, grinding purposefully against the naked ass. “And what occasion are we talking?” She moaned breathlessly, faking innocence. “My revenge.” Clarke rasped calmly, barely satisfied arousal obvious in her voice, and Lexa tried to suppress a moan at the indication of lustful punishment. “Shit.” She gasped when she felt Clarke sneaking her hand between them and cupping her sex through her shorts. “Definitely overdressed. Let me help you.” Clarke finally rolled out of Lexa’s weakened embrace and moved to straddle her. Lexa’s hands shot up to cup the tempting full breasts in front of her face, when Clarke pushed them off her body and made Lexa sit up, to remove her shirt and kissed her passionately whilst unclasping the bra. She let her hands skilfully roam over Lexa’s exposed skin moving the brunette slowly backwards and once more lifting eager hands away from her naked body. “Don’t move.” She reused the words Lexa had spoken earlier and received a drawled moan, which got sucked in when her warm tongue made contact with a pert nipple.

“Mmmmm… shit this feels so good.” Lexa breathed out and pushed her body more into her girlfriend’s seeking the warmth of her skin. Clarke deliberately played slowly with each bud, sucked them into her mouth, licked them and softly bit down on them. She then slid her naked hips over Lexa’s lap and pressed her wet core down onto the brunette’s stomach, eliciting a primeval growl which she swallowed feverishly with her own mouth, moaning at the electrifying contact of their tongues. Their kissing became desperate and Clarke felt Lexa writhing under her, when she repeatedly moved her core back and forth over the hot skin of her lover’s trained abdomen. She pressed down further, enjoying the friction and repeated the motion whilst returning her attention to Lexa’s breasts. It didn’t take long for Lexa moan’s to increase, feeling the release building up inside of her, with each contact of Clarke’s slick centre with her now oversensitive skin. She shuddered at the persistent licking and sucking of her nipples and before she could say any more words, the orgasm washed over her. Clarke felt her stiffen underneath her and realised at the same it happened, what had happened. She kept her movement going but slowed down her attacks on Lexa’s breasts to eventually release the slightly abused flesh with a questioning look. “Did you just?”

The brunette, still panting heavily, turned her head and nodded. “Never happened before.” She admitted shyly, but Clarke turned her head to make her look at her and whispered. “That was amazing. I didn’t realise that was even possible.”

Lexa laughed out shortly, raised an eyebrow whilst lifting her head and looked down her body at Clarke’s hips still pressed flat against her stomach. “Did you not see yourself just then? I’d been close already after I’d fucked you and if you had remotely felt what I’d just felt, you would have cum too.”

“Maybe.” Clarke conceded with a smug grin. “But.” She lifted her finger and traced it along Lexa’s jaw, down her neck and over a still rock-hard peak. “However awesome and utterly hot that was, you’ve deprived me of what’s mine.” Lexa inhaled to counter, but Clarke quickly put her hand over the brunette’s mouth, effectively stopping her from talking. “I usually get what I want, Lexa.” She rasped with an even deeper voice and slipped off the tanned body and pulled down the lose fitting shorts together with her pants and only stopped shortly to take in Lexa’s body, dripping, wet and wanting. She slowed down her rough movements and deliciously spread Lexa’s legs before settling between them and finally lapping up her girlfriend’s juices. With nowhere to be and no one to see they spent the rest of the day loving each other again and again.

# ***

They’d spend a few more days in Greece, before they’d travelled back to Spain and had cruised along the coast for another week. Their vacation had come to an end after three weeks abroad. It was their last evening and they were currently enjoying a bottle of red wine and the sunset over a mountain in the distance. They sat close with Lexa’s arms around Clarke, who leaned against the brunette’s front. She was humming a soothing melody, whilst Lexa caressed her arm. It was peaceful and both wished it didn’t have to end.

“Lexa?” Clarke said turning to face her lover who’d looked at her in return, waiting for her to speak her mind. “I was thinking about home.”

“Yeah?” Lexa asked unsure of what was on the blonde’s mind. “What about home?”

“Are you happy?”

Lexa furrowed her brows and moved her head back. “I am incredibly happy, but what has that to do with home?”

“Well the thought of not being able to wake up next to you each morning and fall asleep in your arms makes me sad.” Clarke admitted bashfully.

Lexa smiled lovingly and pulled her closer. “I know. I’ll miss you awfully.”

“What would you say if I asked you to move in with me?” Clarke all but whispered the last words, and Lexa had to strain her ears to get them at all.

“You want us to live together?” Upon a shy nod, Lexa went on. “Where?”

“I don’t know. What do you think about it in general?” She mumbled under her breath.

Lexa was quiet for a moment, considering her options. She had been living with Anya for a couple of years now and they lived well together. It had taken them a while to get along with all their quirks and obsessions. Clarke and she were only reunited for three weeks after barely knowing each other and spending a month heartbrokenly apart. “Don’t you think it’s too early for us to move in with each other?” She finally asked tentatively.

“You don’t want to, that’s ok.” Clarke replied, refusing to show her disappointment.

“Clarke, it’s not that I don’t want to.” Lexa pushed her up to be able to face her properly and continued. “I love being with you. Anytime, any day and any night.” She kissed her softly. “I just don’t know if I’m brave enough to take the next step so quickly.” She resumed and looked at Clarke, whose eyes widened in realisation.

“You worry we’ll end up like you and your ex?”

Lexa shook her head adamantly upon hearing the slight irritation in Clarke’s voice. “I do trust you.” She whispered less than convincingly.

“You trust me I won’t, but you worry I might cheat on you?” Clarke understood.

“Once bitten, twice shy.” She mumbled.

“Lexa, look at me.” The blonde waited for her girlfriend to look up again. “I can’t promise we’ll never fight. I can’t promise we’ll never hurt. But I can promise I won’t hurt you by cheating on you.” Lexa’s intense eyes bored into her very soul, but Clarke didn’t waver, voice strong and emphatic. “I promise.”

“I want to believe. I really do.” Lexa inhaled slowly and held her breath for a moment, before exhaling and speaking at the same time. “But can we wait a little longer?”

Clarke’s eyes wandered over her features, searching for something. Lexa worried her bottom lip between her teeth and kept silent. They stared at each other for some time, before Clarke started to slowly nod. “Ok.” Lexa smiled gratefully. “On one condition though.” Clarke added and the smile froze a little on lush lips.

“What is it you want?” Lexa asked restrained.

“You have to promise me something in return.”

“Fair enough. What?”

“No more secrets.”

“I promise.” Lexa replied quickly and leaned in. “I promise, I’ll never keep anything from you.” Clarke closed the distance and soft lips moved against each other in a well-choreographed dance, only interrupted by small smiles and excited moans.

# ***

When they had arrived back, their old lives and routines had swept them up quickly and efficiently and made them appreciate each moment they had together without pressing for changes.

Clarke had been busy with finishing the commission for Lexa’s office. It had taken her a month and several fits of rage when the paintings hadn’t come out as perfectly as she had wanted them to. Lexa had tried to rationalize, had honestly promised that she loved all of them, but it had been to no avail. Clarke had set her mind on perfection in her own eyes and no one could stray her off of that notion. In the end she had delivered artwork, which had blown everyone’s mind and truly needed new words to describe the intensity and beauty and depth of them.

Lexa had been so proud of each painting and hadn’t been shy about telling everyone who Clarke Griffin was to her. With the re-decorating of the magazine’s office, press attention for her work had come along and the blonde artist had found herself more often on various art papers. New commissions and orders had flooded her studio and had postponed all plans for the redesign of the gallery. It had been almost four months later, when Clarke had started to decline orders for new projects to finally focus on her gallery.

It had then taken another 3 months for all the changes to happen. Clarke had re-designed the gallery completely, including the move of non load-bearing walls to create some smaller spaces, which resembled differently styled living rooms. She had a modern version with quirky furniture, a temporary type and a romantic one. All rooms displayed either art by local artists or herself, which fit to the theme. The former main show room with the beams and the couches remained, but with freshly painted walls and new sofas.

In the meantime, Lexa had started work as an editor and had found it rewarding but very demanding. Modern poetry and fiction had been a wide ranged topic and they had created a section as a stepping-stone for unpublished writers. Some authors who had submitted their work had been eager to implement her suggestions and had been keen to explain their thoughts, but some had been a pain in the ass and Lexa had considered blacklisting them. In addition to her work with laymen writers, she’d had to guide her own team. Lexa loved it though. She enjoyed it the most when she came back to her office following fruitful discussions, to sit down and recline in her chair, getting lost in the painting Clarke had made for her walls. She still marvelled at the instinct her girlfriend had displayed by choosing to use two canvases and letting the colours flow into each other.

One month after her vacation she had received a copy of an email from another magazine asking to confirm a former colleague’s letter of recommendation. Lexa had had a field day taking apart the lies in said document and pointing out the reasons why this woman had been a former employee at Nib&Scroll. Needless to say Nia Izard hadn’t been able to find a job anywhere close to the distributing area of her former magazine. The last Lexa had heard, she had moved to the other side of the country. The further away the better. Lexa and Anya had celebrated hard and heavy and it had ended with Clarke picking them up. That was the same night they’d found out that Raven and Anya were a thing. A happy thing, they had confirmed later, but hadn’t wanted to label it any more specifically.

Their lives had become more hectic and stressed until it peaked at the day of the reopening of the gallery.

# ***

“Clarke, relax. They won’t start without you.” Lexa nervously played with the item in the pocket of her tailored suit pants, whilst staring at her absolutely stunningly gorgeous girlfriend in a tight red dress, currently busying herself with applying make-up.

“I know, I just… What if people don’t like it?” The blonde answered restlessly.

“Why wouldn’t they like it? It’s a great concept, and it absolutely makes sense to combine the two.” The brunette reassured, when Clarke groaned loudly. “The sooner you open, the earlier you’ll see for yourself.” Lexa added and stepped behind her, making eye contact through the mirror. “You look positively edible.” She whispered and kissed the teasing neck in front of her.

“Please don’t start anything baby.” She turned in her arms and pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of her girlfriend’s mouth. “I can’t focus.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll do the focusing for you.” She shifted and pressed her lips onto full red inked ones, smudging the lipstick in the progress. Clarke moaned, but leaned back out of Lexa’s reach. “Not happening. I’ve just showered and gotten myself into this little number, you’re not taking me out of it just yet.”

“Fine.” The brunette pouted and let go of her girlfriend’s waist.

“God! Now I have to reapply the lipstick.” Clarke huffed out in faked annoyance.

“You better not wear any. I can’t be held responsible with you in that, how did you phrase it so eloquently, ‘little number’, and I wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of all those people.”

“Smooth Woods. Get your cute little ass out of here so I can get ready.” Clarke kissed her once more and cleaned her mouth of lipstick residue. “Oh before I forget, did you pick up the flowers?”

“Did I…” Lexa stopped leaving the room and turned deliberately slowly back to face Clarke. “You’re asking me now…” She locked at her watch. “One hour before the reopening of the former gallery ‘ArkArt’, now ‘Art Café’, if I’ve picked up the floral arrangements, which had had to be collected in the morning, to then have been transported back to the gallery to decorate it for the evening?” Lexa stated cockily, with her trademark half smile on display.

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled and kissed her again.

“You’re welcome. I’ll leave you to get ready.”

“Give me another ten.”

They arrived on time at the gallery, where Raven, Anya and Octavia already waited to get started with the last tasks.

“I called Monty. They’re on their way over with the food.” Raven informed them and pulled Anya along.

“I’ll set up the coffee and tea machines.” Octavia stated and went to the bar.

“What do you want me to do honey?” Lexa took Clarke’s coat and purse and waited to see if she was needed anywhere.

“Distract me.” The blonde whispered.

“I wanted to earlier but you wouldn’t let me take you out of that dress.”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

“Babe, you’re just nervous. It’ll be alright.” Lexa tried to soothe the artist’s nerves. Truth was she was nervous herself, nervous on behalf of Clarke and her success. She wanted this evening to be a highlight in Clarke’s life. “Just relax. Shall we walk through each room and check everything again?” She offered as a distraction.

“Uuugh, ok. Are you sure, you don’t want to sneak out?” Clarke grinned mischievously at her girlfriend, but followed her lead over to the showroom.

“Come here.” Lexa reeled her into her arms and pressed their body’s flush against one another. “Have I told you, that I’m so incredibly proud of you?”

Clarke smiled but shook her head. “Not today.”

“Right.” She grinned. “Well I am. You amaze me every day. I’m in awe of your talent and aroused by your limitless energy.” The brunette admitted.

“Are you aroused right now?”

“What do you think?”

“Clarke? Can you come over? Jas and Monty are here.” Raven’s voice boomed through the gallery and both women groaned in irritation.

“One sec.” Clarke hollered over her shoulder and turned back to lean once more against Lexa. “I’m not done with you.” She closed the remaining distance and kissed her deeply, before leaning back and whispering. “Thanks for all your help. This wouldn’t have been possible without your support.”

Lexa smiled sincerely, touched by Clarke’s gratitude. “You’re welcome.” She whispered back and returned the intimate gesture. They parted but remained connected in a tight embrace, seeing the love for the other clearly written all over their faces.

“I love you.”

“I’m so in love with you.”

“CLARKE!”

“God damnit.” She groaned, and gave Lexa a peck on the lips before wriggling out of her arms. “YES, I’m coming.” She yelled back, winking at the obvious innuendo. “Sorry baby. Later?”

“Definitely.”

Lexa decided to help Clarke by checking each styled gallery room, sorting the flowers to perfection, picking up some stray petals before she finally joined the others.

Everything was set and ready, Clarke asked for her friend’s attention. “So, before hell hopefully breaks loose, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your unlimited time and creative input over the last couple of months. I know I haven’t been easy to be around.” She looked at Lexa and grinned naughtily. “I’ll make it up to you.” Lexa blushed slightly and lowered her head, hiding an equally dirty grin on her face.

“TMI Griffin.” Raven interrupted with a laugh.

“Yeah, spare us, will ya.” Anya chimed in, whilst the others nodded their agreement.

“Right, right. Never mind. Thank you guys. I’m incredibly blessed having you as my friends. You mean the world to me.” She stated and raised her glass. “To the best friends, new friend and girlfriend one could possibly ask for.”

“Hear! Hear!”

“Welcome.”

“Anything for you.”

# ***

The gallery opening was a huge success. Everyone they knew and everyone who liked art came and stopped by to have a look. Clarke received lots of compliments and grinned like a Cheshire cat almost all night long. Most of the people were already gone, just a few Clarke knew a little better were still lingering, enjoying the cosy atmosphere.

She was just talking to a befriended artist, when the door opened again and Raven and Octavia looked like they had seen a ghost, whilst Anya shared a confused look with Lexa, who didn’t seem puzzled at all. Clarke turned in her arms to face the newcomer and a similar shocked expression flooded her features.

“Mom?” She managed, her voice suddenly hoarse with emotions.

“Clarke.” The older woman hesitantly stepped closer to her daughter, opening her arms for a hug, when Clarke had started to shake her head, eyes swimming in unshed tears.

Anya leaned over to Raven and whispered, “I guess you weren’t in on it either? That’s Clarke’s mother?” Raven nodded silently, jaw clenching in annoyance and linked her hands with Anya, looking for an anchor to hold her anger back.

“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to come here and pretend you care.” Clarke said, tears starting to fall out of her eyes.

Lexa circled around and took her girlfriend’s hand in hers. “I invited her.”

“Why?” Clarke choked. “Why would you? I didn’t ask you to.”

Lexa reached out to wipe away some of the tears, which had escaped, and pressed her mouth against the moist cheek. “I contacted her, because I couldn’t stand seeing you sad, whenever we talked about your mom. I know you miss her even though you might say differently at the moment.” She led Clarke over to her mom and smiled warmly at the older woman. “Clarke, I met up with your mom a few days ago and talked to her about what had happened between you. I gave her the chance to explain her side of things and I learned that she’s just as sad without you as you are without her. Did I overstep a boundary by inviting her here today? Maybe, but I did it with good intentions. Please give her a chance?”

Clarke shuddered, breathing in slowly not taking her gaze off of her mother’s face. She saw guilt and worry and sorrow and heartbreak in her eyes and the tiny cold part of her heart Lexa hadn’t been able to warm up, crumbled and she nodded. “Ok.” She turned towards her conversational partner and friends and added, “Please excuse me for a few minutes,” and led her out of the backdoor into the little backyard.

“Clarke, I’m so grateful for having the chance to see you.”

“What do you want?” She asked, emotions running rampant in her blue eyes.

“I want to apologise for abandoning you when you needed me the most.”

“Raven and Octavia tried to talk to you ages ago. Why now?”

“I’ve only just come to terms with my past. After your father had died, I couldn’t look at you because you’re so alike. You have always been your father’s image and I couldn’t bear the pain.” She released a sob and her trembling hands reached out once more. “I accepted a job in DC and I thought I could start over, but I couldn’t forget. A few months back I finally went to get help and I learned how to deal with the loss of the love of my life.” Clarke’s eyes widened at the admission, and she too suddenly understood how heartbroken, devastated and utterly destroyed her mom must have been. She had only been apart from Lexa for one month, knowing she was alive, and it had shattered her to the core.

“Mom.” Clarke stepped closer and took the offered hand into her warm ones. “I understand now, but you should have told me.”

“I could not bring myself to talk to anyone and you were so broken too.”

“I was broken more than necessary, because you rejected me and made me feel like I lost both my parents at the same time.”

They looked at each other, tears streaming down their faces, hands clutching each other’s.

“How can I ever make this up to you?”

“Love me unconditionally and be there when I need you.” Clarke replied, tears running down her face.

“I love you so much. You’re my daughter. My only family and I am so, so proud of you.” Abby smiled through tears for the first time since entering the gallery and Lexa, Raven, Anya and Octavia released the breaths they had held in, having watched the scene from afar.

“Fucking hell, that was intense.” Raven muttered, still watching her friend coming to terms with her mother. “You’ve got some ovaries of steel to get yourself involved in this.” She said nudging Lexa.

“I wanted to give Clarke her mother back.” She said softly, peeling her eyes off of her girlfriend to face her friend. “This was supposed to be hard, but I’m confident they’ll find a way back into each other’s lives. I’ve promised Clarke to help her heal, haven’t I?” She asked rhetorically.

“You’re too good for this world.” Anya stepped over to her friend and hugged her. “Too good, but we love you anyway.” She joked and released Lexa when she saw Clarke and her mother enter the gallery again. Clarke stopped in front of Lexa looking in awe at her lover.

“You did this for me?”

“I know how much it still hurts you.” Lexa replied in a soft voice, gauging the reaction. She was still unsure whether this plan had been a good or a bad idea.

“You know me better than anyone. Hell, I think you know me better than I do. I didn’t realise how much I’ve missed her.”

“I take it the talk went well?” Lexa asked tentatively when Clarke stepped into her arms.

“Thank you.” She breathed against the brunette’s neck. “Thank you for being you.”

“Can’t be anyone but me. You don’t have to thank me. Just keep in mind how grateful you feel right now, whenever I screw up next time. “ Lexa joked to lighten the heavy atmosphere. They were in each other’s arms, when Abby turned with a soft smile to address the two other people she had known for so long and had let down as well.

“I’m so sorry girls for my actions. You were absolutely right and I should have listened to you.”

“You should have.” Raven answered, arms folded in front of her chest.

“I know you meant well, but I simply couldn’t get myself to see beyond my pain.”

“Abby, it’s really not us you have to apologise to.” Octavia turned around with a confused face. “I’ve got déjà-vu. I’m sure I recently said that to someone else.” She grinned at Lexa, who threw her a warning look.

“Let’s not start with that again. It’s in the past, just like this is with my mom.” Clarke pointed out. “I feel a dinner is in order with lots of food and long talks to catch up?”

“Um, before you invite everyone to your place, I’d like to ask you something.” Lexa started and all of a sudden her calm demeanour fell and gave way to nervousness.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” The brunette started, quickly exchanging a glance with Anya who nodded encouragingly at her, walking over to Raven and put her arm around the woman. “I.” She started and stopped again to collect her thoughts. “Do you remember our last evening in Europe?” She waited for Clarke to search for the memory and smiled, when a nostalgic curtain glazed her eyes and she nodded with a loving smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“You’d asked me a question.” Lexa lowered her head a little to level her eyes with Clarke’s before she spoke up again. “Do you also remember what you had asked me?”

She nodded slowly, understanding seeping into her features, but the restraint to believe what was happening was obvious with the hesitant reaction.

“Do you want to ask me again?”

“I think I’d asked you if you wanted to move in with me.” Clarke whispered carefully, hopeful eyes fixed on her girlfriend’s warm ones in front of her. “Do you want to move in with me?”

“No.” Lexa breathed out, as she watched confusion cloud over Clarke’s features. She searched for something in her pant’s pocket before continuing. “I want you to move in with me.” Clarke quickly glanced over at Anya, before feeling Lexa’s fingers on her chin softly turning her back to her. “Anya would move into your apartment, if you’re happy with coming to me.”

“You guys talked about this?” The blonde faced her partner’s best friend.

“Yeah, we thought it’d be the best solution. You guys can have the bigger place and I’ll be lodging at your former abode until I might or might not decide to move further.” She said, pulling Raven closer into her side, smiling a little at the other woman.

“It’s cool Clarke. You’ve got so much more room at Lexa’s and you don’t have to search for anything new now that you’re probably hyper busy with the gallery café.” Octavia pointed out sensibly.

“Besides, it’s closer to mine.” Raven grinned at Clarke, whose smile widened.

“That’s true.” She finally said and watched Lexa lifting her hand towards her.

“Please move in with me?” She repeated and slowly opened her fist to reveal a single key. Clarke’s eyes were focused on Lexa’s. She recalled the reason why they hadn’t taken the next step already. Lexa had been worried about Clarke cheating on her as soon as she had allowed herself to revel in the added security a shared apartment brought along.

“I love you.” She said quietly, and accepted the key. “Only you.”

“I know. I love you too.” Lexa placed a reassuring kiss against Clarke’s lips and added after a moment. “So much.”

“So? Dinner in a few weeks at Clarke and Lexa’s place?” Abby asked, clasping her hands in joy at her daughter’s bliss.

“Can we shorten it to Clexa’s place?” Raven chimed.

They looked at each other and smiled. “That actually has a really nice ring to it.” Clarke laughed.

“Yeah, Clexa it is then. Now and forever.”

# The end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this story had been a fun experience. I loved all your feedback and reveled weekly in your responses in form of kudos and subscriptions. I've read this before and have to agree whole-heartily 'Reviews are like crack. You simply can't get enough of it/them.' In this sense - thanks for feeding the monster in me and supporting my addiction.
> 
> Additionally, I'd like to thank my girlfriend for her constant support and patience and for proofing my chapters. Love you. 
> 
> The next story is almost ready to get online - check back with me in a couple of days.
> 
> Thanks again and I hope you'll give my future work a try as well. Cheers, J

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first 'The 100' story and will be posted on fanfiction.com (same author name) as well as that was my first playground. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments.  
> As this website adds my answers to your comments into the overall comment number I like to ask you to contact me on tumblr, if you want feedback or an answer (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jaansche). Thanks and I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoy writing it.
> 
> 02/17: I was made aware of an unauthorised upload of my story 'Let your dreams set sail' by thebestlesbianships.tumblr.com on tumblr. If you find other stories of mine uploaded elsewhere then on AO3 or fanfiction.net please let me know. If you like my story/stories I'm grateful for a repost of the original URL/link of either aforementioned webside, but DO NOT repost my chapters. Thanks Jaansche


End file.
